• Guy At Coffee Shop Looking For Place To Plug In Iron Lung

  • Woman Loves How Easy Melatonin Makes It To Fall Asleep For 3.5 Hours

  • Woman’s Entire Camera Roll Selfies Of Her Crying

  • Woman Proud She Started The Booing

  • Bank Gets House In Divorce

  • Mass Grave Not Even That Big

  • Handful Of Sour Patch Kids Grabbed For Trip To Mailbox

  • Bacon Added

  • New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There

  • Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked

  • Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956

  • Police Lose Planted Evidence

  • Old Thing Really Heavy

  • Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate

  • Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time

  • Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man

  • Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings

  • Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine

  • Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do

  • Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind


The Onion: Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.

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  • The Onion Guide To NATO