• Handful Of Sour Patch Kids Grabbed For Trip To Mailbox

  • Bacon Added

  • New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There

  • Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked

  • Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956

  • Police Lose Planted Evidence

  • Old Thing Really Heavy

  • Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate

  • Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time

  • Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man

  • Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings

  • Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine

  • Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do

  • Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind

  • Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat

  • Play Within A Play Also Boring

  • Father Points Out Rhode Island License Plate

  • Rest Of Waiting Room Getting Blurrier, Harder To Make Out

  • Fourth Slice Of Pizza Consumed Without Facial Expression

  • Man’s Mouth All Dry From Complaining


The Onion: Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.

"*" indicates required fields

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.