Infuse Your Booze

Personalize your liquor cabinet or get creative with your next Speakeasy themed cocktail party with infused booze. Infusions are fun and simple- soak your ingredients in an alcohol base until you’ve reach the right amount of infusion. That’s it, really.

 Once you know your base alcohol, you can get really creative and have fun with infusion. Here are some tips on choosing a base.

No need for the top shelf stuff. A good medium priced booze will do. However, avoid the rot-gut stuff. No amount of infusion will dress up that pig.  A few stand-out liquors to try are Cask-Strength Maker’s MarkBooker’s Bourbon, and my favorite, WhistlePig’s Boss Hog rye. It’s a 117-124 proof spirit, aged over thirteen years and has a wine-like smoothness. Spicy ingredients like hot peppers, cloves and orange peels work best with Rye Whisky and enhance the smoke and spice while letting the citrus characteristics shine through. When working with citrus fruit, be sure to use only the peel and remove the bitter pith. 

When choosing a base liquor, check the proof. Higher level proofs will pull more flavor from your ingredients, giving your infusion more intensity. Keep in mind, if you’re infusing for culinary purposes, a 190 proof clear liquor like Everclear is ideal. For drinking purposes, a good 100-130 proof will do just fine. With that said, you don’t want to have a college Chug-Party with this stuff. When drinking it straight, higher proof liquors are intended to be toned down with just a splash of water, and pounding it will burn you faster than a California wild fire.

Today, I’m going to start with a simple infusion of Costa Rican Rum and blackberries. If you’re interested in more infusion recipes or have any of your own stories, let me know in the comments section!

 berry rum 1

Supplies needed.

Canning or Mason jars, or glass bottles with lids or corks. Make sure the mouth of the bottle is big enough to fit your ingredients inside.

16 oz of Dark Rum. I’m using Centenario Number 9 Costa Rican Dark Rum (A Christmas gift from the boss).

 4 oz of Blackberries. This is basic, you can always adjust to your liking. Tip: for more berry flavor, pop each one open as you add them to the rum.

 Instructions.

Fill the bottle or jar with your base alcohol. Clean and dry your blackberries and add to your base alcohol. Cover tightly and store in a cool, dry place like a pantry or cupboard.

Let it infuse for about four-six weeks, gently swirling it occasionally. feel free to check the flavor each week. Don’t worry if you over infuse, you can dilute with an unflavored booze if needed. Once you get the flavor you want, simply strain the infusion ingredients out and store your booze until you’re ready to drink it.

Try using your newly infused rum in what is rumored to be one of Ernest Hemingway’s favorites, a Cuban Daiquiri.

2 ounces Dark Rum
1 teaspoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of Maraschino
1 teaspoon of Jarabe Granadina.
Juice from half a lime. Shake with shaved ice and serve.

Also try this simple French aperitif, Kir Royale.

1750ml (8 drinks) Chilled Champagne or Sparkling Wine
Your newly infused Rum and some berries for garnish.

Instructions.

Pour the Rum evenly into champagne flutes. Top with chilled champagne or sparkling wine. This is roughly a half and half mix of Rum and Champagne. Garnish with fresh berries and serve.

Simple. Spicy. Fettucine sardine with bread crumbs.

  Sardines. I’m sure you’ve turned your nose up and walked right past them at the market.

3/4 cup olive oil.

 

Fettuccine nests.

2 cans of sardines in olive oil.

Chopped dill.

Red pepper flakes.

Are you ready for the small time?

There are plenty of benefits to living small; smaller bills, less clutter, more free time, but is living in a place so small you could flip pancakes while still seated on the toilet worth it? Not really.

 

  When I lived n Los Angeles, CA deciding to live small would be easy since a tiny-ass condo was all I could afford. Yes, four hundred and fifty luxurious square feet for three people. For those of you who are not math wizards, that’s one hundred fifty square feet per person. Which is pathetic, even by New York standards.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of a simple life and do my best to not join in on the gang-bang of Mother Earth, but I’m not the whimsical eccentric type that could could live out her life in a Lilliputian condo by the sea. I sold my dollhouse and moved to big ol’ Colorado.
Along with all my crap, I brought a few lessons on cooking small. By that I mean, simple two or three ingredient meals that can be whipped up in a hurry if guest should arrive unannounced (at your house that’s now actually big enough to seat them).

 

IMG_2410
Plenty of recipes coming up, so stay tuned and don’t forget to follow the Idiot at the end!
 Here is what you’ll need:

 

1 eight ounce round of Camembert or similar triple cream cheese: Duh. The question of what kind of triple cream cheese to use is a whole other blog post. You could ask your random French friend, but that could mean an hour of your life you’ll never get back.
  I’ll try to explain:
  Camembert is a soft-ripened cow’s milk with a powdery white rind protecting all the yummy, gooey goodness inside. This type of cheese hails from the Normandy region of France. It carries a slightly nutty, wild mushroom flavor that works with the sweet caramelized onion and pears in this recipe. The one thing that characterizes triple creams is that they are at least 75% butterfat (Mmm, butterfat). They have a rich creamy texture and low melting point, making them ideal for this kind of dish.
Seeing reddish brown on the rind is no cause for alarm. It’s simply a sign that the cheese is aged properly, pure white rinds are still young. It’s difficult to find properly aged triple cream in the U.S. since we question anything that’s been sitting unwrapped for 3-6 months and hasn’t disintegrated. Another thing to look for when shopping triple creams, is the odor. A strong ammonia smell means it’s overripe and will have a moldy, taste and a slightly burning sensation in your mouth and nose when eating it. Which is fine if you’re into that kind of thing, but this cheese is meant to be light and nutty. I used the basic Le Rustique brand found at most grocery stores. You can also try St. André Triple Cream Mini Brie.
If you’ve got twenty bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you can try a fancier brand at a specialty cheese store. We have the Cheese Importers here in Colorado.
2-3 pods of Fresh Garlic: Do NOT use pre crushed garlic, you lazy monkey. Pre-crushed loses all of the natural oils, therefore losing all of the taste and that wonderful burning sensation you get when you OG (Over Garlic).
1/2 stick of butter: 
PDButter-300x223
1/2 Pear thinly sliced.
1/2 yellow onion thinly sliced: Yes it matters what kind of onion you use.
1 Sheet of frozen pastry puff or pie crust: Thaw before using. I used Pillsbury pie crust here.
1 Brie baking pot: Optional. I would highly recommend using a Brie Pot. If you get even a microscopic hole in the pastry, your going to end up with a miniature replica of Krakatoa surrounded by a river of cheese in your pan.
You can find a good Brie Pot here:
  1. Preheat oven to 400°. melt butter in a skillet over medium heat.
  2. Coat the onions, then spread them out evenly over the pan, stirring occasionally until they start to caramelize.This happens when the natural sugars in the onion come out and start to cook (usually about thirty minutes on low heat. DON’T let them burn or it will taste like crap). If the onions look like they’re drying out too fast, add a little water. Mix in the pear slices and garlic and cook until tender and browned (about fine minutes). Set aside.
  3. Arrange the Camembert on top of thawed puff pastry. If you decided to forgo the pastry part, place directly into the Brie Pot.
    IMG_2398
    4. Top the cheese with the pear, garlic, and onion mixture.
    IMG_2400
    5. Fold puff pastry over the cheese, and pinch closed (if using the pastry method). I cut off the excess so the remaining round was just enough to cover the cheese without the overlap.
    IMG_2403
    6. Brush with any remaining butter. Drop it into the Brie Pot or place on a cookie sheet then, bake about 20 to 25 minutes, or until golden brown.
    Now, bust out some cheap wine like Concha y Toro Cabernet Sauvignon by Xplorador. http://www.xplorador.com/
    and serve your fancy cheese with a sliced French loaf and some Spanish olives.

 

This Valentine’s Day, Bring Home The Bacon

What is salty, sweet and awesome all over? Candied bacon confections like the ones available at the Sticky Pig in Costa Mesa, CA http://www.thestickypig.com. Just in time for Valentine’s day, The Sticky Pig offers various flavors of candied bacon treats like Maple Cinnamon, S’Mores and the newly added Elvis consisting of a slice of candied bacon wrapped around peanut butter, banana and honey. The King would be proud!
Who is the genius behind this f*cking insane creation? Tara Simon, a 29-year-old Graphic Artist turned Pilates Instructor, turned patron saint of bacon. Simon’s Sticky Pig offers the bacon treats in singles as well as four, twelve and twenty-four piece boxes.
Interested in experimenting with your own candied bacon? Here is what you’ll need.
1 lb Bacon
1 tablespoonful of Wasabi Paste
1 cup of Brown Sugar

Heat the oven to 350, line a cookie sheet with foil. Combine (well) the Wasabi Paste with the Brown Sugar. Press one side of each slice of bacon into the mix, coating evenly. Arrange your bacon slices flat on your cookie sheet sugar side up. bake for about 15-20 minutes. You can now transfer to a paper towel to drain. If you plan to experiment with fillings, only let the bacon drain for a few minutes in order to keep it pliable. Spread your fillings length wise along each slice of bacon and roll bacon tightly. Stick with a toothpick until completely dry. Serve with Bamberger Rauchbier (German smoke beer) for a lighter smoke profile, try Stone Brewing’s Smoked Porter from Escondido, California or Victory Brewing Company’s “Scarlet Moon” from Downingtown, Pennsylvania. To read more about Bamberger Rauchbier go to http://www.germanbeerinstitute.com/Rauchbier.html

 

Beer Bars (Not the kind you’re thinking of)

Hard day at work? Why not come home to a hot shower and some beer soap? Beer is not just for drinking and Vegemite anymore.  Beer is also well-known for its conditioning properties when used as soap. Beer soaps are made with a blend of oats, barley, malt and wheat depending on the type of beer being used in the soap. The grains in the beer wort (the liquid created by the mashing of malted grains), promote healthy skin. Hops, the bittering agent that gives each type of beer its characteristic flavor, contains polyphenols thought to account for its anti-bacterial, preservative effects and skin-softening amino acids.

Beer soap can be found on many online sites. One excellent source for all things beer suds related is The Beer Soap Company, http://www.thebeersoapco.com. Launched in 2008, The Beer Soap Company started out with 9 soaps and has grown to 45 varieties of soap made from various Ales, Lagers and Bocks.  One of my favorites, Touch O’ Patchouli Beer Soap made with Sapporo Japanese Rice Lager with touches of amber, sandalwood, and musk. All of Soap Company’s soaps have multitasking abilities as well. No, you still can’t drink them. However, you can use them as shampoo and shave cream.

Got 5 weeks to kill? Here is all you need to make your own hand-made beer soap. All ingredients can be found at you local natural or grocery store.

Ingredients:

  • 6.8 oz. palm oil
  • 10.2 oz. coconut oil
  • 1.7 oz cocoa butter
  • 10.2 oz. olive oil
  • 1.7 oz. castor oil
  • 3.4 oz. sunflower oil
  • 4.9 oz. lye
  • 11.3 oz. of flat, room temperature amber or dark beer
  • 2 tbs. of honey
  • .4 oz. orange essential oil
  • .4 oz. lemon essential oil
  • .4 oz. grapefruit essential oil
  • .4 oz. lime essential oil
  1. Pour beer into a large pitcher. Stir it vigorously to make it foam. Put a lid on it and let it sit at room temperature on the counter for several days, stirring it once or twice a day to help it go flat quicker. Wait until the beer is completely flat to proceed.
  2. Using your flat beer, make your lye solution, adding the lye to the beer very slowly. Again, the beer must be completely flat before you make your lye solution. If it’s not, and you don’t do it slowly, you’ll get a lye-beer volcano erupting out of your pitcher. Trust me.
  3. Measure out all of your oils, essential oils.
  4. Make your soap batch as you normally would, following basic soap making instructions. Instructional books on soapmaking can be found at any bookstore or on Amazon.com.
  5. Add in the essential oils and the honey.
  6. Stir well.
  7. Pour into the mold of your choice. Let it saponify, fat and oil convert into soap, over night. When firm enough, slice it into 3/4 inch thick slices.
  8. Let it cure for 3-4 weeks.

Big Ride in Little Italy

Just a short trolley ride from the drunken escapades of the Gaslamp District, Little Italy is a beautiful seaside shopping district filled with authentic Italian restaurants, markets and coffee shops. Located in the heart of the neighborhood on the 1700 block of India Street will be the start line for the Gran Fondo (Big Ride in Italian). The Gran Fondo is a 100 mile ride presented by cycling giant Ernesto Colnago. This year’s ride will be on March 7th 2010 and will feature an Expo that will run March 5th through the 7th.
While here, be sure to hit hot spot Filippi’s Pizza Grotto for some great food and people watching, be prepared to wait in line for a table though.  If you’re planning on staying overnight, and I suggest you do, head to the boutique hotel Porta Vista (www.portovistasd.com). Located walking distance from the heart of Little Italy, the Porta Vista has a mid 60’s Rat Pack vibe complete with vintage Vespa scooters parked throughout the lobby, available for rent in the Vespa showroom located downstairs, and rooms decorated with a stylish, mod decor with floor to ceiling wall art. Put on your Wayfarers and enjoy the sunset with drinks and the spectacular view at the Glass Door. Located on the 4th floor of the Porta Vista, this hip little lounge sits high above downtown’s crowds, overlooking the harbor and beyond. With all of Little Italy’s authenticity, you will feel as though you’re really living La Dolce Vita. Just stay out of the fountains!

For more info on and to register go to http://granfondosandiego.com.  http://www.littleitalysd.com/whoweare.asp

Note, there will be no on site registration.

Slow Carbs, Fast Bike

The Slow Carb cookbook by Peter James.  A simple diet idea, eat foods with a low-glycemic index and eliminate sugar, flour, bread, potatoes, white rice, and white bread and my favorite part, a day off to eat whatever you want.  Sounds easy right? Not for this beer lover.

In an effort to get faster for the next race season, I need to lighten up, literally. I can’t afford to make my bike any lighter so, I have no choice but to make myself lighter. I’ll keep you posted as to how I’m doing.

Kids, I encourage you to try this at home.

Rule #1: Avoid “white” carbohydrates

Avoid any carbohydrate that is white: bread, rice, cereal, potatoes, pasta, and fried food with breading. If you avoid eating anything white, you’ll be safe.

Rule #2: Eat the same few meals over and over again

Mix and match, constructing each meal with one from each of the three following groups:

Proteins:
Egg whites with one whole egg for flavor
Chicken breast or thigh
Grass-fed organic beef
Pork

Legumes:
Lentils
Black beans
Pinto beans

Vegetables:
Spinach
Asparagus
Peas
Mixed vegetables

Rule #3: Don’t drink calories

Drink massive quantities of water and as much unsweetened iced tea, tea, coffee (without white cream), or other no-calorie/low-calorie beverages as you like. Do not drink milk, normal soft drinks, or fruit juice. I love beer and I won’t give it up so, I keep it to one a day.

Rule #4: Take one day off per week

Think of it as your “Wild” day. Eat whatever you want.

Here is a simple breakfast you can try.

1 egg

1 egg white

1/2 can black beans

1/2 oz spinach

Instructions

Pour the egg and egg white into a microwave safe dish. Add the 1/2 can of black beans to the egg whites. Mix well with a fork. Add spinach to the dish, and mix well.

Microwave for 1.5 to 2 mins, until egg white firms up.

Add Salsa to taste.

Cocktail weenies, ugly sweaters and booze oh my!

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

~Carol Nelson

It’s Christmas time again and that means Cocktail parties! No holiday party is complete without booze, bd food and tacky decorations. To create your own, I’ve listed some tips and recipes below.

Simple Bacon Cocktail weenies:

Ingredients

  • 1 lb maple bacon
  • 1 package cocktail smoked sausage links
  • 1 lb brown sugar
  • 1 box of round toothpick. Go for the cool retro ones  or the little swords.

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Spray 9×13 inch cake pan with non stick spray.
  3. Open package of bacon and cut entire slab into thirds.
  4. Wrap a third of a slice of bacon around each cocktail weenie and secure with toothpicks.
  5. Place each bacon wrapped weenie in cake pan, making sure to crowd them together.
  6. Liberally cover weenies with brown sugar, leaving only the toothpicks exposed.
  7. Place weenies in hot oven.
  8. Every 10 minutes or so, baste weenies with sugar/bacon grease mixture and break up any lumps of sugar.
  9. Continue until sugar is completely melted and bacon is thoroughly cooked. About 30-40 minutes
  10. When serving, be sure to drizzle sugar/bacon grease (mmmm) over weenies and on the platter.
  11. Pair with a great brown ale like Newcastle.

  • Germany made the first artificial Christmas trees.
  • “Rudolph” was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930’s for a holiday promotion.
  • Holly berries are poisonous. Nice.
  • Christmas trees are taken down after Epiphany. And, Christmas lights in my neighborhood are taken down after the 4th of July.

Whether you’re crafty or just plain crazy, don’t forget to piss off the neighbors and decorate outside too. Check out some decorations on blowmoldsrus.com.

 

 

Suprise! Women love beer.

When I moved to the cycling Mecca of Colorado in 2007, I expected some great cycling (duh), what I didn’t expect was how great the local beer would be. I soon discovered that some of the best local beer was at Left Hand Brewery. And, it wasn’t long before I discovered Ales For Females.

Started in January of 2008, Ales for Females is a group of well, females, who meet the last Monday of the month to discuss beer and food pairings, listen to professional guest speakers and sometimes discuss home brewing techniques. I have tried some homemade beer and wine from the women in the group and they are impressive. The Goal of women like Sue Smith-Troy and Cinzia Wallace, co-founders of Ales for Females, is to educate women about the joys of craft beers and to teach the basics of beer pairing. The Ales group ages from 21 and up and has become the envy of the male segment of customers.

My friend Keli and I attended one of the earlier meet ups and although I was impressed by the content of the meet up, I was disappointed that there weren’t a lot of attendees. I wasn’t disappointed for long. What started as 17 or so women, soon swelled to well over the 75 capacity for the malt room in which the meetings are held. Ales was now officially the hottest ticket in town! Ales has been so successful that it is expanding to chapters in other breweries nationwide. The monthly meetings include food and beer pairings, an educational discussion and a near guarantee you’ll meet some of you future best friends here. Meetings cost $6 each or $60 for a yearly membership (a steal considering what you get). If you have a similar meet up in your area, please, post it here!

*To read more about Left Hand’s Stout beers or to find Left Hand in your area, go to http://www.lefthandbrewing.com
For more information on a meet up near you, contact the ladies of Left Hand at [email protected]
or call 303 772 0258

Now, get ready to impress your friends with this calorie bomb featuring Left Hand’s Milk and Imperial Stout. Quit your bitching, no one said this was a diet blog.

Stout Cake

What you’ll need for the cake:

7 egg yolks
1/3 cup of sugar
3 tablespoons of Left Hand Milk Stout

7 egg whites
3/4 cups of all-purpose flour
1/4 malted barley flour (Bob’s Red Mill makes a great one and is available on Amazon.com).
1/2 teaspoon of salt
2 teaspoons of baking soda
1/2 cup unsweetened powdered cocoa
4 tablespoons of melted, unsalted butter

What you’ll need for the Custard:

4 tablespoons of cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon of salt
2/3 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream
2 cups Left Hand Imperial Stout

Preheat oven to 375°F Lightly butter a half sheet pan, then line with parchment paper and butter again.

Mix yolks until they turn a lemony yellow. Gradually add in sugar and beer.
In another bowl, mix eggs whites on low until peaks form.
In a third bowl (this is going to make a lot of dirty dishes), mix flours, salt baking soda and cocoa. Add these dry ingredients to the yolk mixture as you drizzle in the melted butter, fold together with a spatula. Next, slowly fold in the egg whites mixture.
Spread your batter evenly into your prepared pan. Bake for 12 minutes. Once fully baked, the cake should spring back when touched lightly. Remove from the oven and let cool.

For the custard,
In a heat proof bowl, whisk together cornstarch, salt and sugar. Then place bowl over a pot of boiling water. Slowly stir in cream and beer. Mix until combined and is thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon. About 12-15 minutes.

Refrigerate the custard for at least 4 hours. Once chilled, spoon about 1/4 cup of custard on each serving of your sponge cake. If you feel the need to be fancy, use a potato peeler to carve chocolate curls from a bar of dark chocolate and sprinkle on top of your cakes. Pair with pint of Left Hand Stout.

Caught In The Cross Fries

From Belgium’s 1910 National Championship to the recent National Championship in Bend, Oregon; mud and pain have been the recipe for great Cyclocross. Now Belgium’s beloved winter snack, the Belgian fry,  has started to crop up right here in America, bringing an authenticity to our version of the sport. With yet another season nearly over, I decided it’s time to pay homage to this awe-inspiring symbol of winter cycling.

There are as many stories about the origins of Cross as there are recipes for the Belgian version of fries. Here, I will attempt to create the most “authentic” recipe possible. Some things to remember; Never fry anything while naked and never use frozen fries! It is a disgrace, period. What makes these authentic is fresh-cut, irregularly shaped, twice fried fries that are fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside. Pair them with a good Dark Triple like Gulden Draak available at bevmo.com.

Get your cowbells, lose those knee warmers and bust out the Mayo!

What you’ll need:

A great cross DVD like Pure Sweet Hell or The 9 Ball Diaries (available at cyclocrossworld.com) To play while you’re cooking.

Some fine potatoes (Bintje is best, but Yukon Gold or Russet will do).

A sharp knife.

A deep fryer or a heavy-duty cast iron pan.

Frying oil (any oil will do but it will determine the taste of the fries).

Some kitchen paper for wrapping.

Start by peeling the potatoes. Cut them in slices 3/8″ thick. Some people leave the skins on, it’s up to you.

Put them in cold water for a few minutes: this washes out much of the starch and makes them less sticky after the first frying and more crispy after the second.

Dry the fries well with towel before putting them into the oil.
Heat the oil in a hot frying pan or deep fryer to a temperature of 320°F.

Put in a handful of fries: not too much at once because the oil will cool down too much. Fry for a few minutes (4-8 minutes, depending on the thickness and the kind of potatoes), stir regularly to prevent sticking. Put the fries into a large bowl with kitchen paper and let them cool down for at least 1/2 hour.

Finally heat oil again to 375°F and fry for 2 minutes until crispy and golden brown. This way the fries will be crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, that is how they should be.

Garlic Mayonnaise Sauce:
1/2 c. mayonnaise
1/2 c. sour cream
1 tsp. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. oregano
In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise, sour cream, lemon juice, garlic powder and oregano, mix well.

You are now the proud owner of some rockin’ ass authentic Belgian Fries!