The Thing I Understand
Author: telesilla
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips, Viggo/Bean
Rating: R
Summary: Seven vignettes about Bean, the cast and crew, and touching.
Word Count: 3.012
fanfic100 prompt: 026/100 -- Teammates
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.

Notes: Written for the following request from prettypattisue on lotrips_fqf:

Sean B./7 other people. Set right after Sean's divorce. I heard once that you have to be touched in a positive way seven times a day in order to maintain a healthy psychological state. I'd like seven drabble-type components to the fic with seven different people touching Sean in seven different ways. Doesn't have to be about sex -- could be a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, whatever.

This one was a lot of fun to write. Being me, I couldn't help but make the last touch sexual, but it was fun to examine Bean's relationships with other members of the cast and crew. Section iv is pure speculation on my part; I have no idea which lines were in the original script or anything like that. The title is a line from Peter Gabriel's song "I Have the Touch."

However, seeing as he's also a northern bastard with no manners, I suppose I could be called upon--reluctantly, mind you--to help teach him a lesson."

Consecration
Authors: padawanhilary and telesilla
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips AU, Viggo/Elijah
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, erotic pain, character death
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Summary: A brand new priest of the Death God consecrates his temple.

Notes: Really, I'm just going to have to ask you to trust us and believe me when I say that this one has a happy ending in spite of the warning. The story was inspired by the pictures in this post and written in the course of one evening. Thank you to darkrosetiger for the quick beta.

( ...it was Elijah's temple and he wanted everything to be perfect.Collapse )

Of Bath Bombs and Hobbits
Author: telesilla
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips, Orlando, Hobbits
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, mild drug usage
Summary: When Orlando's back gives him trouble, the Hobbits take over.
Word Count: 896
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.

Notes: Written for rawiyaparand who asked for Bath-Time Orlando from my 28 Fic Meme list.

( ''Oi! Get out of my trousers!''Collapse )

Of Elves, Hobbits, and Men
Author: telesilla
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips, implied Orlando/Bean
Archive: no where
Summary: Two vignettes that attempt to answer the eternal questions: Would Elijah Wood still be a foul-mouthed chain smoking kid if he were really a Hobbit? Would Orlando still be a bit of a slut if he were actually an Elf?.
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Warning: crack!fic, yo
Notes: More crack!fic. Can't blame this one on anyone but it's still somehow Lu's fault. So yeah, dedicated to luli.

( I'll have you know that we Woods have always prided ourselves on the amount of hair we have on our feet.Collapse )

Title: Nine Different Cooks
Author: telesilla
Characters: all nine fellowship actors
Rating: G
Archive: ask if you want it
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Summary: Nine drabbles on cooking, one for each actor.
Warnings: none
Notes: So I was slicing mushrooms for the stroganoff tonight.... I know very little about the cooking abilities of the Fellowship actors; almostnever and anatsuno told me about Dom's time as a sous chef but the rest of it is pure fantasy.

This is a companion to Nine Sleepless Nights.

( Some of the Fellowship are better cooks than others.Collapse )

Title: Nine Sleepless Nights
Author: telesilla
Characters: all nine fellowship actors
Rating: eight are rated G; one is PG for mention of drugs and masturbation.
Archive: ask if you want it
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Summary: Nine drabbles on dealing with insomnia, one for each actor.
Warnings: none
Notes: Um ... will you believe that I couldn't sleep?

( Everyone has a sleepless night from time to time.Collapse )

(cross posted from everywhere because I'm rather proud of it)
Title: Hyperactive and Incoherent
Author; telesilla
Pairing: EW/DM
Rating: PG
Archive: ask if you want it
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Summary: The RotK World Premiere is chaotic and Elijah is ... well see the title
Warnings: none
Notes: So very much almostnever and anatsuno's fault. So yeah, it's for them. Don't ask why the second person thing, it just happened that way.

(  You don't know what in hell prompted you to wear a three piece suit and even a tie for fuck's sake...Collapse )