*big hug to all the Roswellians* Ten years ago today, the series finale aired.

Which means it's also ten years ago today that a bunch of us ran the fanfic tote charity auction. That was a hell of a lot of work but also a hell of a lot of fun! Not so much fun that I ever wanted to do it again, lol. Though I do still have the Whirlwind Galaxy stencil, packed away in the parents' garage.

It's odd to think about where we all were then. I was still in Mississauga - hadn't even moved to Nova Scotia yet, never mind England. emluv was still in CT. cookie2697 was still in Los Angeles - people I knew still lived at 4242 'Roswell Place'! :D janajoh wasn't a mum yet. Deidre hadn't been published yet. A few people have gotten married since then. And the list goes on...

I'm so glad for those of you who are still in my life. ♥

P.S. Dying laughing at what Shuffle just coughed up for music as I went to post!

Sooooo most of you know that over the last few months, I've become completely miserable in this (shared by supposed adult professionals) house. I avoid the hell out of everyone else who lives here, and the whole situation has ballooned to the point where I rarely go into the 'shared space' at all. Can't make myself do it. Which has led to a lot of clothes in need of laundering, a lot of takeaway meals, and a level of anxiety that is consistently high, sometimes cripplingly so. In short, a very unhappy Tas. And since I got promoted last spring, there has been one issue after another at work, and with being the person in charge now, that makes work no longer an escape either.

My lease is up in late January, thus I began scouting and planning and all those sorts of things, aiming for early January occupancy so as to give myself a couple weeks of overlap to make the actual move as stress-free as possible. (I always do this, if it's at all possible.) And started the rounds of phone calls and viewings and such, too.

Anyone who's been around for a while, though, knows that I don't live that well on my own. Taking proper care of myself/my surroundings can seem very pointless when I'm alone. House-sharing has proved to be a strangely deadly combination in that respect, because I am not getting any true privacy or solitude, etc., but at the same time, I've isolated myself (driven in part b/c of the afore-mentioned lacks), so it's like getting hit from all sides. Getting a flat by myself seemed to be the only real solution.

Except... it wasn't. I'd been engaged in mutual complaining about housemates etc. with asknosecrets for ages, and the idea came up that we could make an escape together. Jack checked everything out at his end, I did a brain-numbing amount of number-crunching and stuff, and the plan began to change as we discovered that actually, this seemed genuinely possible.

Thing is, there was so very much that could have gone wrong. There *were* several blips along the way, and except for each of us discussing it with a couple of people who knew us but not the other person to see whether our collective sanity was intact for even considering it, we both kept it quiet out of superstition - it seemed like putting the hope out there was asking for it to be dashed.

Then there was a misunderstanding between myself and the letting agent as to the available date of a particular flat, that I kind of fell in love with. It's in an ooooold building, has some of the original features - gorgeous high ceilings - but has also been updated to be more energy-efficient, and the bathroom is all sleek tile. We ended up needing to make a decision fairly quickly, because it's also in a good location in the city centre, and in the course of getting the application paperwork, etc., realised the actual date: 2nd December. As in, two weeks from when I'd first looked at the place.

As in, yesterday, when despite the weather complications and despite the blips and despite all the seeming impossibleness, Jack and I coughed up a bunch of money, got hand cramps initialling and signing twelve million pieces of paperwork, and received keys to our very own place.

I cannot tell you how thrilled and excited I am about this. We don't have any furniture yet so we camped out in the living room on air beds and just talked and listened to music. He has loose ends to clear up where he's still living; I have the same here; we both have more packing and moving and all of that to do, but it's a done deal. We has a house!

Had another meeting in London today - and you know, that is just a very, very strange thing to say, LOL - and we were done mid-afternoon so I met up with muffinkath7 & alliebean02 and we found a nearby pub with comfy seats and had a couple of drinks and just chatted until they left to go meet Allie's friends for dinner and I went to catch the train home. I could have gone with - it was at a restaurant, so adding an extra body isn't a big deal. But it was 20.30 by the time I got home as it is, so it would've been likely around now that I'd've been getting home after dinner, and that's a bit too late for a week night for moi, alas. It was so nice to just hang for a while, though.

Got home about half ten after spending a lovely evening at an Italian restaurant with some workmates. Most of whom I know only peripherally, but thankfully ended up sitting with M, the lone guy with about a dozen women, who I *do* know half-decently. Although, seems people know me better than I would have thought, as it seemed to be assumed - and okay - that I would be quietish. Huh.

Which made me realise, tomorrow marks two years since I started working there. And, today then marks two years since Anne left. *hugs cookie2697*

Tired today, though that's nothing new - I seem to be constantly tired these days. I was gently reminded recently that whilst I may pass as much younger a lot of the time, in reality I am 37, and getting old enough that sleeping in on Saturday after not getting enough sleep during the week is no longer an effective technique. I need to try to discipline my weekday sleep more, I guess. Considering I've had trouble getting to bed pretty much since day one of my life, I'm not sure how that will go, lol. We shall see.

Today's tired was pleasantly earned, however, by spending yesterday up in London and area with muffinkath7, alliebean02, and mockingbird39, and later on also stargazerdavid and some of his friends. It was a lovely, lovely day, and sooooo good to see everyone. And I found somewhere where I can buy Crown Royal when I want some, too. W00t! *g*

On a completely separate note, re-posting this video I saw at feels_like_fire's journal. It's essentially performance art of a poem, with the text narrated throughout, entitled, How to Be Alone. And it's about exactly that - both an ode to and a bit of a handbook on how to go about being alone. I found it incredibly moving, and another gentle reminder of sorts, that I don't need anyone else around in order for me to live my life. Easier, perhaps, to say that after having spent a day catching up with friends, but that's part of the point, really: life isn't only those special moments. It happens every day. So crank your speakers and enjoy. :-)

Linzee is on her way home. *pouts* Okay, to Heathrow airport at the moment, but her stay with *me* is over and I am sad. We didn't get to do everything we would have liked to - just did not have time, and we did need to get *some* sleep! - but we had mucho fun. Amusingly enough, it was sunny the entire time she was here, including the two days in Ireland. Effing cold, but sunny! I'm going to catch some more sleep now and snuggle up in my warm bed. (I think curled up in pyjamas and a sweatshirt under a 15-tog duvet may have been the only time the poor girl was genuinely warm this week.) Wandering round Camden Town, etc. then going for food/drink in London with Linz was a lovely way to spend my birthday, though.

Have done little reading of f-list recently, thanks to a very wobbly Internet connection, but that's not going to change for at least another week because linzeestyle is supposed to land at Heathrow in about half an hour, and my Eight Days of Linzee will begin once she makes her way down here. *g* I am excited! We'll be spending some time in London, obviously, but we're also going to Stonehenge, pluuus an overnight trip to Dublin. Whee! We are going to have fun.

And I'm sticking to the 'joke' of Linzeekuh, because she'll be bringing a little light to me. 2010 has rather sucked so far. Actually, with the exception of the Christmas holidays, which were nice, things have pretty much sucked since after the weekend in London in October with the Green Day show, the tour of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre and high tea at the Swan there (my Red Letter Day choice from an Xmas '08 gift), and the Stolen Space art exhibit based around 21CB. Fabulous weekend. Never posted about it because SAD has been kicking my ass ever since, alongside various work and house issues (like no heat for most of February). Now that we're moving into March, daylight is picking up and so am I, a bit. Posting may as well. :-)

Heading up to London today, along with looking_spiffy, to visit with feels_like_fire and jou. I also have some work stuff up there so I'll be gone a couple of days. Should be fun! :-)

I've been home for about fifteen minutes, after being out more than twelve hours, holy shit. Went to see Half Blood Prince in the late afternoon, which was very good. Went for a couple of drinks afterwards. Ran into some of K's friends at that pub; they and she talked me into accompanying them to a different pub for 'one more drink'. Heh. Met some other friends of theirs there. The DJ was good, we were dancing, and talking out on the patio, and just generally having a good time, right until the bar closed. I'm bloody wiped but I'm really glad I went - I had fun. Despite only actually knowing one person, and her not even that well! Go me. :D

The parents phoned at 8:10 a.m. this morning - their time, thank God, or I may not have answered the phone, lol. I was born at that time and the mother generally attempts to call then if at all possible. Thus far it is still cute. Merci to all for the birthday wishes; I think I caught all the posts individually for replies but if not, the wishes were still appreciated. stumphed, thanks for the balloons! And the V card, which I did get. ♥

I eschewed cake in favour of Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine), which was lovely and has left me with a nice buzz. *g* Also with a case of the sleepies, so I should probably get on that, seeing as I do have to work tomorrow and all!

I was offsite today on training - I took an advanced Word course, actually. It was good. Even better was that for whatever reason, it ended up being a very small class of just me and a girl from a different government department, and we got on well enough that we exchanged numbers with the intention of meeting up and hanging out at some point. She's a London transplant so she doesn't have too many local friends either aside from the fiancé. I'm pleased, not only b/c I had a very good day and potentially made a friend, but hey, it seems I do still know HOW to do that without the Internet! *g* I'm also pleased with myself b/c it's been a very long time since I asked someone I've just met for their phone number in *any* context, so go me. And since it's all mobiles, that means I can text her, which I have about a ten thousand percent better chance of doing than actually ringing, lol.

Had a homesick moment today - well, a friendsick moment? It was warm-ish and rainstormy today, the kind where it goes from drizzle and breeze to gale and buckets in two seconds flat, and I love that. Love being out in it; if I'm able to go home and change right after, looove walking around and puddle-jumping and all of that. So does C. We used to do that when we worked together, end up fucking soaked because we'd skip through the middle of the parking lot in the rain instead of running for cover like everybody else. I miss her. I was already thinking about her b/c I owe her an email. Her last one complained that nobody else ever wants to go to stuff like the Pop Explosion (a live music weekend with gigs all over the city). The perhaps strange part is, this is the first time I've really actively missed someone. (I'm not counting my cat; that's gone from aching really badly to just not thinking about it.) But, like, I've done this before with my parents, more than once even, where we're far enough apart geographically to see each other maybe a couple times a year, and it's fine. It's better than fine this time round - I kind of miss them, but far more than that I revel in not being attached to them. Jeff, well, I'm used to missing her. She already moved back to New Brunswick a couple of years ago. K and I have always kind of drifted in and out, mainly b/c I have to be the aggressor there and, well, I often fail at that, lol. C, she'll chase me down. And that's the sum total of my friends there, really. Some more acquaintance-y friends, co-worker friends, that sort of thing, but those three people are the ones that actually matter. I've been horrible at keeping up, too. *sigh* Ah, well. One must go forth, so I can make sure to do better from now on, right?

Completely unrelatedly, have a link to some startlingly gorgeous pix of one Zac Efron. NSFW by way of shirtlessness. *g* Seriously, if you think of him as "that kid from..." in any way, shape or form, have a look. ;-D

I was going to make a post listing things wot are made of win (duh) but as it's thundering rather insistently outside I think I shall cut it short and just point at the tags. :D Them things is made of win right now. I need to go to bed in a minute anyway but what prompted said list was that I was walking to work this morning, kinda bouncy despite it being a Monday - and a statutory holiday in North America, I can't remember the last time I actually worked on Labour Day - and the first of September, usually one of my favourite months, and I was listening to my iPod and bopping along and knowing that looking_spiffy (*mwah*) would shortly be getting us Metallica tickets for the gig on the 15th for five quid apiece (I know!), which day I already have off specifically to go to that because they gave just enough advance notice to book the day, and I just had Reading, and there's all sorts of other stuff coming up, and oh_johnny_ and I had a meta-comment-porn explosion, and as of Wednesday it will be five months since I left home and you know what? I'm really fucking happy. ♥

Back in Southampton after the Reading Festival. I definitely plan to make a proper post about it, but I thought I'd say hi, I survived my first festival! With, it has to be said, lots of help. More than I would have liked, lol, which is mildly embarrassing and annoying but ultimately all right, because, a) I *did* make it through, albeit with the backs of both heels blistered to fuck and a pulled muscle in my right calf (ow stairs ow), and b) I learnt that I have improved dramatically in allowing people to take care of me - gratitude and much love to looking_spiffy, beelzezuk, nene, and nightsofcydonia (so good to finally meet you!). I suppose it boils down to me having been a newbie, and it showing. Eh, can't win 'em all or be brilliant at everything, and despite the aches, pains, fatigue, dirt, allergies, and people-claustrophobia, I had a good time. And willingly self-mind-wiped a good deal of that on account of how fucking amazing Metallica were last night. :D ( setlistCollapse )

Also, woo on Massa winning the European GP yesterday! Only six points behind Hamilton now. This makes me happeh.

Did you know that when you are using your foot to pump something to full firmness, sometimes you need to find and plug the other hole before it will work? *dies laughing* I'm not sure how we ever managed to get the air mattress inflated last night, between only the DEFLATION instructions mentioning that hey, there's this other hole that needs to be plugged up before air will actually stay in the mattress, and subsequently laughing too hard to stand upright and stomp on the foot pump. Bwahahaha slashy camping equipment FTW.

In case it's not obvious, cookie2697 is here for a few days (I will, obviously, be scarce online). We went to Nando's for dinner yesterday, splurging a bit b/c we both wanted to try it, and indeed, it was worth it and totally good (also, not *that* expensive, but more than just making something here, of course!). I did not have the famed chicken - I haven't eaten any British chicken since the bbq chicken pizza made me upchuck - but the steak roll was yummy. For dessert, I was compelled to try the chocolate mousse (too sweet), but I will have to go back and have a Chilly Billy Lolly. It's a raspberry-apple squeezie tube ice, and the dessert menu says, "No stick but plenty of lick!" Yes, there were many lulz. Even more so as every time we mentioned this later, Anne called it Billie Willie. *snicker*

The rest of yesterday is a blur. Today, we had a proper lie-in and now we're going to go run a few errands and the like, and have a nice, relaxing day. W00t for Sundays!

I have a ridiculous amount to post about, actually; enough that I'll be here all day if I do anything in-depth, so you get bullet points.

-Subject line was my introduction to cookie2697's flatmates, LOL. They were arguing some lit crit thing, I believe about The Merry Wives of Windsor, and it so happened that that phrase was shouted just as Anne and I came in the front door. We were entertained.

-Pride London was fun. We watched the last bit of the parade go round Trafalgar Square whilst we stood near the Canada House and drank pink champagne. Really, really *bad* pink champagne, as it turned out, but that was okay.

-Chilling and talking at stargazerdavid's was much fun, as was introducing Anne to the joy that is Top Gear. Heeeee.

-The Doctor Who season finale was amazing. This will get its own post soon but suffice it to say, I adored it.

-Moar Top Gear with looking_spiffy!

-I finally have Stop Drop and Roll!!! in my hot little hands. :D Back when it first appeared on Amazon UK, it was showing as an expensive import, so Anne said she'd bring me one. And maybe it's silly, because it's not like there's any outward indication of it being any different, but it feels special to me that it was bought in northern California. I love that the CD itself is in a little paper sleeve inside the cardboard case, just like a vinyl album. I hadn't actually listened to the newer songs as much as the rips I have are filenamed all "unknown" and stuff, so they're a pain to find, which means I'm quite enjoying being able to play the CD proper.

-Had an interview today. It went well. I think partly because I don't really want the job, lol, so I was pretty relaxed. It's in the same field as the one I'm interviewing for on Thursday, with a similar level of ability/responsibility, but it's farther away (though still walkable), more stressful environment, and a fair bit less money. Nonetheless, worth interviewing for, especially as the other job is obviously not guaranteed, and it gives me more practice before the more important interview, so it's all good. I have a bunch of prep work to do for that one yet so I'll be working on that tonight and tomorrow.

-I'm apparently an Est precedent-setter, LOL. No one who's not already a player has ever requested an NPC creation! Until me. *dies* So that's all approved, and oh_johnny_ and I shall get going on our scene. I'll come to some kind of conclusion about what I want to do after that, if anything; I did get approved to actually take Rob in-game and play him, too. I suspect I eventually will take someone in, for the experience and because it scares me, both of which also mean that I'll likely settle on Hetfield if I do. Though with the more relaxed updating rules in place now, I could probably field both of them. Like I said, I wanna see how things go with Rob before making any commitments. I've gotten hella commitment-shy in the last few years, lol. So weird; I'm usually more given to *over*-committing.

angelicus, I hope you're having a fabulously shoeful day! *smooch*



Next, I got my first mail at my new place today! OMG girltufty, thank youuuuu, my dear. That completely made my day. :D

Seeing Bon Jovi play tonight, with looking_spiffy, was also made of win. More on that later - need food. Om nom nom...

Strange mood all day, no doubt engendered by waking up in the middle of a severely fucked up dream. Populated with a good chunk of my flist too, though the details have mostly faded. What I remember most is kissing Brendan Urie and agreeing to go out with him in the post-kiss dazzle (apparently it was *that* good?!) and then once he was gone, sitting down hard on the stairs and thinking, Audrey is gonna be pissed. I don't know where I was that had stairs, though there's the fuzzy impression of a courthouse and I was wearing a skirted suit. (Which I don't own one of, either.) Then I was at a picnic with the RosWriter gals, and we were all gathered on blankets in the partial shade of a tree under a blue sky and laughing and passing food around. And then I actually met Brendan for our date, except he morphed into my ex-husband and things got rather ugly from there. I remember thinking, This isn't fun anymore, and that's when I woke up. I've been sort of disoriented since and very thinky today.

Part of the reason I've been so hibernatory recently, aside from simply having the *time* to be for the first time in ages and the not-so-random bout of homesickness (done now, thanks ♥), is that I usually need to do a certain amount of flailing and freaking out before doing something that scares the pants off me, and that's mostly internalized and makes me somewhat anti-social as well. Because, y'see, the next step in this grand, haphazard plan is to make the leap into a new career area, and that terrifies me. I mean I'm going to do it anyway - that was, ultimately, the POINT of this whole move - but right now I'm at the ohgodohgodohgod stage of things. But, I have a newly updated curriculum vitae, and Internet access and lots of sites to look at for possibilities, and I'll get there. Preferably sooner rather than later as my agency doesn't have any assignments for me right now. I'm not worried about that quite yet - it'll be tight but I do have enough to pay July's rent/'net - but it does mean I need to get a move on. Wallowing last week was a luxury, though also a necessity, so I'm lucky I could do it. And even luckier that there's someone (and somewhere) I can go to when I get too consumed by my own headspace, and do mindless things in excellent company like cheer when Lewis Hamilton fucked up royally and took himself out of the Canadian Grand Prix yesterday. :D *blows kisses at looking_spiffy*

In other news entirely, my pretty shiny Chucks gave me blisters, woe. It was the first time I'd had them on for any significant walking, and I think the socks I had on played an unfortunate part, too, since the seam was rubbing on my toe in the sore spot even after the shoes were off. I'll break 'em in eventually. In the meantime, I should get some band-aids and first aid type stuff anyway, just so I have them. I think I need to get a storage bin or something for the bathroom counter. For some reason, when they put in the sink and that, it's on this large enough counter but instead of a proper vanity below, with doors and storage and that, it's a flat panel. Whose bright idea was that? *I* could have done a better job! On the plus side, the room has stayed pretty cool through the current wave of hot sunny weather. (WTF, England?) The heavy outer curtains block incoming sun very nicely.

And then there's the note of depravity; I apologise for any traumatic mental imagery you may go away with. *giggles* I read something today that made me think about Rule 34, and wonder if there is, indeed, Who-fic that involves someone having sex with a Dalek. Has anyone seen any? I have some thoughts about the last 2-parter of Doctor Who that I may post about later. I don't participate in discussions anywhere else online because every time I've tried, spoilers come up, and, do not want. It already irritates me that I can't read hardly anything without the appearance of a particular character by season's end cropping up, and almost everyone I know who watches - certainly all the actively fannish people - is spoiled to fuck, so I mostly just keep my thoughts to myself. But I did enjoy those a lot and loved River Song in particular, so I might elaborate at some point.

The Astoria in London is a cavernous space awash in darkness: the floor, ceiling, balcony, railings, bars, stairs, stage are all matte black wood, faded in places to a deep charcoal from age and wear. It seems limitless at first glance, so little illumination in the room that it's impossible to see the signs placed at either end pointing down inky stairs to the toilets. There is, however, one clear, straight landmark that shines enough to draw the eye.

The barrier is brushed steel.

A low dais skirts the audience side, perhaps an inch high by a foot wide and the same dull silver as the solid panels and the thick, round handrail. Just beyond lies the stage; the narrow strip between is filled with security personnel. Later there will briefly be photographers, camera cases shoved under the platforms of the inner barrier supports. Most of the press will be dressed in black and difficult to distinguish from the venue's staff save for the yellow logo.

That lone bit of sparkle is a coveted spot, generally reserved for the early and the dedicated, and tonight marked the first time I've ever been against it. It was hot, sweaty, beer-sticky, squishy, occasionally painful, and altogether brilliant. I had a tall, skinny chick directly behind me who basically plastered herself to me once Dirty Pretty Things came onstage and this worked very well for me - she was careful about where she put her elbows (on me, anyway) and managed to spend most of the gig right in line with my body so we could move more or less in synch as the crowd pushed, which avoided a lot of hip-checking and the like. My sciatica-affected thigh/hip were hurting rather a lot by the time the two support bands were done, since I couldn't move enough to dance enough to stave it off, but once the crowd got going really well for DPT and we were bouncing like mad, it got a lot better. It's gonna hurt tomorrow, as are my feet and legs in general, and probably a few other places, but that's okay, it was completely worth it. Not only was it a killer gig - and another first for me in that I did not know a damn song the headliner played, and loved it anyway - but I discovered that I can, in fact, do the barrier thing. I actually found I was quite stubborn about it in that I wasn't mean or shoving or anything, but that spot was mine goddammit and no way were any silly over-excited people getting me to leave it. I even managed to duck all of the crowdsurfers that came over me, though I did get clipped in the ear by a half-off shoe once. Security was excellent at getting them out of the crowd and sending them off to the side. I *was* ready for it to be done when it was, though; but I expect that that sentiment might be a bit different were it a band I already knew and loved, as opposed to one that was almost brand new to me. Though there's also the possibility that it wouldn't, since the crush was honestly not too bad at this one, but mainly I came away from the experience having attended a great concert and knowing that I can do it again.

And I'm glad that the first time *wasn't* a band I desperately wanted to see, because I was really nervous to begin with. Once the second support band had cleared and the roadies started setting up for DPT, it was like a switch flicked on in the crowd and the atmosphere charged. There wasn't any pushing until the band actually appeared onstage, but as soon as their *equipment* appeared, there was definitely a move forward. It felt a bit like sitting with one's back to a fireplace - my arms were cool to the touch due to the cool draught in the security trough, but I could feel heat radiating from behind me, and when I looked around and realised just how many people were there, it was a little panicky-feeling. (I'm somewhat claustrophobic, for those who don't know.) It took me a few songs to kind of find the rhythm of it and relax and be able to properly enjoy the music, but I did. Yay.

Sylv, Elz, it was an all around fabulous day and an unforgettable night to top it off. Thanks for getting me a ticket and asking me along in the first place. ♥ + ♥

Belated happy birthdays to rainjewel and hector_rashbaum, and a happy day today to cathrynbarnes. *smooches* to y'all. ♥

On Saturday, I spent the afternoon/evening hanging out in London with looking_spiffy, beatupcar, jou, and feels_like_fire and her mother. There was much silliness and laughter and it was good. Kat was kind enough to rub our faces in her most recent amazing luck by wearing her Mother Mary T-shirt with the FBHT logo splashed across the back. :P

Yesterday, beatupcar and I went for yummy Mexican and then explored Camden Market. It's the first time I'd been there but it will definitely not be the last! Fabulous place. She wanted to get some new Converse so we ended up in a shop that has an autographed photo of the Green Day boys under the glass at the payment counter (beneath his signature, Billie has written "shoes" with an arrow pointing down to his feet, lol), and even better, right as we got to the entrance they started playing a medley of older GD songs. :D Best part, though, was Laura's eventual purchase, which is made of awesome and I might get myself a matching pair once I have some discretionary income again - she said she wouldn't mind if I had the same ones, yay. And then later, we stopped for a drink at the World's End pub, which bills itself as being the biggest pub ever and it *is* enormous, and they played American Idiot. The ALBUM, not just the song - front to back, the entire thing! We were there a fair bit longer than we'd planned and chatting like mad all through it. I've never been in a bar that's played an entire album before and it was so unbelievably cool when Jesus of Suburbia started and we realised what they were doing. *gleesquee*

I noticed on our way into London yesterday that one of the straps on my handbag was thisclose to ripping free, so I did splurge on a new one in Camden. I quite like it, especially that it has three different handle choices - small hand-sized ones, a standard shoulder strap, and also a detachable across-the-shoulder strap so it can be worn like a messenger bag (and it's very nearly large enough to be one too). And it's lovely red pleather, w00t. I also bought a funky fleece blanket that will go nicely with the few decorative things I have to put up in my new place. If you've known me for any length of time, you know I need to have some colour!

Today is the bank holiday and stargazerdavid and I met a couple of his friends for lunch, and otherwise we've just chilled as the weather has finally, finally turned to rain and we've both been sleepy. I swear, I've gotten a stupid amount of sun exposure since I moved to England. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with that sentence??? Heehee.

Tomorrow I'll be getting drunkhanging out with beelzezuk and nene, and then back to Southampton to get on with it again and do things like exchange my rent money for keys and all that. There are also a few items I need to pick up in preparation to move. At some point I need to type up my now way overdue Barcelona report too oy.

So to make a proper post, since I see I haven't done so for a few days, I've been having fun and relaxing, too. Wandered round central London early in the week. My feet were not exactly thrilled about the extended hours of walking but I enjoyed it. I browsed and window-shopped and just generally took it all in (no photos, sorry). The weather has continued to be lovely, spring-warm and mostly sunny - even the one day that it rained hard, the cloudbursts were interspersed with sun. Me likey. I have a teeny umbrella that packs into a case little bigger than a standard glasses case, and it doesn't bother me at all to pull it out my bag every so often. It amused me to note, though, that most women had umbrellas, whereas the men were split between those with umbrellas (who also usually had suits), and those who simply ducked into a shop doorway and waited out the cloudburst. None of the shopkeepers seemed to mind the non-clientèle clogging up their doorways.

I found a row of secondhand bookstores on Charing Cross, mmm. I was good; I didn't even buy any from the bargain bins out front. But I sure enjoyed looking and breathing in the scent of books. :D I also explored Soho somewhat, Trafalgar and Leicester Squares, and some back streets near the bookstores that I hope like hell I can find again, LOL. There was a M.A.C. store in there, though I didn't go in as I don't need anything right now. There was also the London Bead Store, which was awesome and I definitely need to go there again. It had all sorts of loose beads and findings, and also had completed jewellery. I managed to escape with one silver and red necklace. I very nearly got an adorable fuchsia ponytail holder but talked myself out of it because duh, no hair left for that. Though speaking of, I think I might need to get it cut again already, oy. Hopefully it'll be able to hold off a bit longer stylistically-speaking when I figure out how to use the straightening iron to do my bangs.

I went into this other store named Accessorize and had to control my giggling because they had a lot of hats and headbands, many semi-updated old-fashioned style, and there was a black satin headband with a froth of ostrich feathers that reminded me hugely of the 'emo princess' headband I bought in Boston last spring, only a much fancier version that cost like three times as much. I did not try it on, though I was tempted.

I also stopped twice for coffee (read: vanilla latté), once at Costa which was indeed lovely, and once at a café on Charing Cross, I think, called Caffe Vergnano 1882. That was a great place, really cute. The low benches in the back where I sat were upholstered in espresso velvet; it was all sleek blond wood and chocolate. Which actually gave you a wee chocolate with your order, hence me remembering the name. ;D

Yesterday stargazerdavid and I spent the day at the home of some friends of his and stayed for dinner, which was completely lovely. I had a very nice chat with Y about her experiences teaching various places and teaching English as a foreign language in general. Dinner involved a scandalous amount of food. I was vaguely surprised to find myself capable of movement after that!

Today David drove me down to Southampton and we met up with looking_spiffy and her mother, got me and my stuff all transferred over. There were sections of the motorway that were tree-lined and it took me a while to put my finger on why they looked so different. But it's both because the trees themselves are fairly well-spaced, giving each other lots of room to grow, and there is a distinct lack of underbrush. Forests in Canada (and the northeast USA) tend to be *packed* with trees, growing all but on top of each other, with shrubbery and bushes growing underneath them at knee- to waist-height in most places. The grass also still looks different. Hilariously, though, Canadian grass seed is apparently a popular gardening item, billed as being hardy in cold weather (duh). Hee.

Obviously we've sorted me for Internet access already - ooo and I found a power cord for only ten quid, not twenty, so I got that. Still need to get a voltage adaptor but that's not as critical as being able to use my laptop. So here I am, sat on the sofa at Jade's, WS on my lap and one of the dogs cuddled up beside me in much the same spot as David's cat has been for the past week. Life is good. :-)

I grew up in one house; the first time I moved in my entire life was when I left to go to university. In the 16 years since then, I've moved 10 times. I was also frequently packing for the weekend for the years in which I lived in Kingston and would go home for every major holiday. I've basically been in some state of flux since that first move and so all of the preparations that I've been doing, while more extensive in some areas and having some different requirements, i.e., visa paperwork et al, has mostly just felt like another move. Even leaving work hasn't felt that different, probably in part because I've been thinking about getting out of there for ages now. But I've been almost flippant about all this of late and some of that is because the enormity of it does not seem real. I'm not sure it will seem completely real until I set foot in London. Tonight, however, with hanging out with everyone at the karaoke bar they love and presents and hugs and kisses and email addresses - and both of my closest friends from here with me, and having talked briefly to Jeff earlier today to make plans to call in a couple days and both of us wishing she could have made it up to see me... ow. Suddenly it hurts, the same way it's already started to hurt when I pick up my cat and know that I have such a finite amount of time left with him.

I had a good time, though singing along from the table and dancing a little aggravated my cough. I'm amused that the twentysomethings left before 11 and the fiftysomethings showed up just past then - with her parents, and they all stayed 'til 1:30. Heehee. I've taken some cough medicine so I can hopefully manage to get a decent amount of sleep and get back at it tomorrow. Time doesn't stop marching, even for epiphanies.

I am waiting for my head to explode. From the feel of it, it could go any time now. OMFG everything above my shoulders hurts: head, neck/glands, throat, jaw, nose, teeth, ears, facial bones, eyeballs... merf. I've had enough of this sick thing, plzkthx. Seriously, there's so much pressure in there that my ears pop when I sneeze. Fucking weird is what that is. And I've been so out of it and exhausted today that I wasn't even bored with nothing to do (soooooo quiet at work). I did manage to get to leave a bit early at least and get home in the pouring rain and fog before it was 100% dark, which is good. I'm not quite ready to go to bed yet; wanna just sit and breathe for a while, and get some more drugs into me, lol. Not up to doing anything packing-related tonight in any case.

Though we got a fair bit of that done last night. The mother had asked how she could help and I asked her to sort the boxes in the garage into books and not-books, and as there were not that many that were not-books *facepalm* she just emptied almost all of those, washed the stuff (all kitchen-y home-type things) and had it spread out all over the table and countertop when I got home last night. So I did the keep/donate dance and weeded out quite a lot of stuff. This is, honestly, one reason why I continue to procrastinate on this sort of thing (continue in the overarching life sense, not in the immediate sense!), because when I have to go through it at speed without the time or the room for sentimentality, I am so fucking sick of it all that it's easier to just cut it loose, and I have yet to truly regret giving something up. Anyway, so there is lots and lots of stuff leaving the house, and my mom is awesome. 'Course, I'm highly disorganized compared to her, so there is that to factor in. ;-)

Not that there isn't still a tonne to do, but it feels more manageable now, despite the sick and therefore the lack of doing anything but relaxing tonight. And as has been pointed out, it's not the end of the world if I miss a few things, either. Bless those who are probably ready to choke me by now but have remained patient and supportive. I've had a number of remarks that I'm brave over the past few days, as the news has circulated around the call centre, but I'm not, not really. It's not something I could have done alone. ♥

I feel slightly better today. Still hacking up a lung, but my head does not feel on the verge of exploding due to sinus pressure, so that's an improvement. :P I'm going to repeat the "dose, sleep" cycle shortly since tomorrow will be an early day. (There will not, however, be porn this time. Sorry.)

We did indeed have our little meeting today, and it was kind of funny because our manager and senior rep were both late, and so everyone's sitting around speculating on what we're in trouble for, LOL. The tardies finally get there and the manager goes, "This isn't really *my* meeting," and I just said, "I wanted to tell everyone all at once so we all have the same information: next Thursday is going to be my last day because I'm moving to England." I have to say, I am immensely entertained by the expressions I get from saying that. :D I explained a bit more and then the manager was like, "Go on, tell them the rest," because I'd told her about it in more detail, and so I explained about Barcelona. The hilarious thing is, revid said to me before to rehearse it so I can reiterate by rote, and now that I've had some practice with it, I'm discovering that after dropping the initial bomb, my explanation thereof - which includes my routing through Montreal - seems to open with, "Well, my friend is really into Formula 1 racing..." Heeeeeee.

I didn't get to tell T myself; A caught her first and she came up to me in the cafeteria and I knew right from looking at her that *someone* had told her b/c she looked about to burst into tears. :-( Man, that part's not going to be so much fun. I remember when Jeff left - we had to completely ignore each other the whole day so we didn't end up bawling. It sucked. But T's also totally supportive and said that it was a totally me thing to be doing. For all that she hasn't known me as long, she probably knows me better than almost anyone else there since she's the only one left with whom I clicked. I expect I'll be better about staying in touch as it'll definitely be electronic instead of phone!

Oh. Oh. cookie2697, I just listened to Could I Be You with my eyes closed; it's that wonderful. Eeeee! But you know, as exciting as it is that y'all have just gone to your concerts and much as I'm looking forward to proper recaps (and why is everyone on my flist terrible at doing those quickly this year, I ask you?! LOL. LJ woes aside, of course), I find that I very much *can* wait for mine. I'm not even remotely, "Is it May yet?" - I have way too much to do before then, that I'm anticipating just as hard. I can't remember when last I wasn't impatient for something to happen because something else good was happening beforehand that I didn't want to rush through or wish away. It's a nice feeling. ♥

You know what's better than sex? A kickass conversation with a friend at a time when you really, really needed one. OMG such a good night. We had no trouble using our tickets and the show was amazing. There was even one dancer who had to be at least six months pregnant. She was in a group piece and they made concessions for her in terms of not doing any floor stuff, but did so in a way so that the other three formed a circle around her that felt like they were celebrating her. So awesome. The entire thing was awesome. I'm so glad I got to go! We went for coffee after with a work friend of K's, and after dropping her off, K and I sat in the car outside her building for over an hour and just talked. I feel ten thousand percent better for being able to do that, I really do.

Which brings up a related point. I'd actually started a post this afternoon but didn't have time to finish it before leaving, and my perspective's a little different now so I scratched it. But the gist of it was, I'm not well-equipped to stick to a reading hiatus. I'm just not. On a *normal* day I already feel like I'm walking in on the middle of a conversation a lot of the time for parts of my f-list. And what I consider important for me to know has a wider scope than I can reasonably expect anyone else to know or adhere to. Not spending time reading my f-list makes me feel not just out of the loop, but left out, lonely and ignored. Accurate and rational? Not so much. A little silly and dependent? Yeah, maybe. It doesn't help that I have a vague paranoia about being left behind stemming from various actual incidents where my friends shunted me aside in favour of someone cooler/prettier/more whatever, combined with some abandonment issues that I've posted about before. (Having made some real friends in the years since those people abandoned me basically en masse, I've come to the conclusion that I grew up with assholes. I mentioned that to my mother once. Her response? "Well, duh.") ANYWAY. I shall still be all sporadic and random and time-crunched - and undoubtedly bitching about same, or sharing odd nuggets of memory as weird shit I'd forgotten about pops up - but fuck the hiatus. I thought that sticking a name on it might help *me* feel okay about missing things but it is clearly not working that way, so I'll be allowing myself a chunk of time every day to semi keep up, because I need that for my own sanity. There's a reason I have nearly twice as many comments as posts: I'm a listener. Not that I don't need to talk because fuck, if tonight proved anything it's that oh God sometimes I need to run off at the mouth until I have no more words left, but my primary self-identification is as a listener. And how can I listen when nobody's talking to me?

(*snicker* Shuffle has just played along nicely...)

ETA: Also, I did something a bit different with my eye makeup and it turned out fantastic. That also makes me happy. Because sometimes, I am shallow. :D