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Tas
13 September 2009 @ 03:47 pm
So... happy September! Since this appears to be my first post this month. (Shush, I know it's half over.) School is back in, of course, and I now live around the corner from a junior school (elementary/grade school) so I see lots and lots of kids in uniforms. As opposed to lots and lots of just-barely-not-kids in jeans and hoodies headed for the university. *g* Public schools here require uniforms, so there are a lot of wee, uber-shiny shoes around to go with the white shirt/trousers or skirt/tie/blazer thing.

Work is going well. Busy, and doing a fair bit of training and the like. I'll actually be attending a 2-day thing in London in about a week and a half. Happily, this coincides with feels_like_fire and jou's trip, so I will get to spend some time with them, w00t. The funny part is that I had already decided to take the day prior off and putter around the city, since the train there and back would be covered and I'd need to go up the night before anyway, and now I actually have people to putter with!

Otherwise, things are good. Housemates are all very nice. I've now seen the two boy!As often enough to be able to distinguish between them, lol. There appears to be a romance brewing between S1 and AK, my hallmate, which I don't really mind so long as everyone's adult about it, but at the same time, there is something ridiculously depressing (not to mention annoying) about hearing hushed giggles and kissing outside your bedroom door at four o'clock in the morning, know what I'm saying? But she and I get along fine, and amazingly enough, our bathroom routines don't clash, plus we're both about the same for keeping it clean, so if giggly kissing when I'm supposed to be asleep anyway is my only complaint, I think I'm ahead of the game.

And beyond that, my brain's pretty much been eaten by the Est. There's been an influx of new muns and pups that's kind of kicked everything into motion again - including the full complement of the core ST: XI cast, for those of you into that - so it's been a lot of fun and I'm doing a lot of writing. Just, you know, not in an area that most of you are remotely interested in. *g* Maybe I'll feel like writing more Green Day after I see them next month. Right now, that doesn't even seem real; we bought the tickets so long ago.

Regarding eljay, I started reading again just last week and I am amnesty-ing myself on any form of catch-up, so if you posted about something important between around July 20th and Labour Day and didn't also say anything personally to me, I don't know about it. I do know I missed a few birthdays, so a happy belated to angela_o, stargazerdavid, truelovepooh, and undoubtedly more that I'm forgetting - hope you all had fabulous days.
 
 
Current Mood: recumbentrecumbent
Current Music: Don't Change - Matchbox Twenty (live cover)
 
 
Tas
19 February 2009 @ 08:36 pm
That'd be dictionary.com's word of the day. Tautological adjective:
unnecessarily or uselessly repetitive.

I had to laugh, since I feel as if I am constantly trying to find yet another way to say, THIS DID NOT GO AS EXPECTED!
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: We Are the Champions - Queen
 
 
 
Tas
19 January 2009 @ 07:51 pm
Couple things for the happiness meme today. First, went back to work and that went all right. I was definitely coughing more, but no uncontrollable fits, and I'm tired but not all-out exhausted. W00t. It was also very, very nice to be asked if I was sure I was well enough to be there as opposed to the 'omg how dare you take time off to be sick?' attitude at many workplaces. Reason number ten million and two to like this job. :-)

The second thing has me a little O_O - the Athenian birth of a brand new original character today. Full name, partial physical appearance (can't get a fix on facial features), some personality aspects, some family background, some 'personal issues,' some ideas about the best friend. I have no idea what to do with a quirky teenage girl begging for a YA novel living in my head. I don't know what kind of story she's linked to yet, though I do know it has something to do with her name, and names and labels are a critical theme, but... wtf? I even have a first line! That I LIKE!

What makes this even funnier to me is that I was doing mental run-throughs of upcoming Est stuff, you know, the kind that tends to be X-rated and all boys, and every time I'd hit the point where M!Rob would go, "I can't predict what the little fucker will say/do next," my mind would do this lateral flip and I'd be back with MNO, getting details like what kind of glasses she wears. My brain, she is an interesting place some days. :P
 
 
Current Mood: exanimateexanimate
 
 
Tas
13 November 2008 @ 09:10 pm
And I would post about it, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow, when not only is the week actually over but I have regained some energy. It is awesome when a muse has a powerful epiphany. Unfortunately, it leads to the part where the pup is all happy and relieved, and the mun is emotionally exhausted and in dire need of a hug. God, there is nothing that makes a person feel lonelier than having a brain resident who's thoroughly in love. I really truly spent most of today wishing someone would hold me. *eyeroll*
 
 
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: ...Kate Bush?
 
 
 
Tas
05 November 2008 @ 07:08 pm
So on Saturday, I get to take a nice long walk to the post office in Portswood and carry a box home, because despite the number of times I have told her where to send mail that is larger than will fit through a letterslot, the mother sent my Christmas box to my address. Which is NOT where it's supposed to go, because a) it's a bitch trying to get something delivered to a rowhouse cut up into flats that do not have individual intercoms, and b) I'm not fucking home during the day to sign for it. Gaaaaahhhhhh. At least it *is* at the post office this time - and a relatively close one even - and not out in the sticks at Fareham. Like it was the first time. Hence the alternate instructions that she can't manage to follow. *headdesk* Also, while I'm not one to begrudge getting gifts, wtf am I supposed to do with the damn box for the next almost two months?! Aieeeee!

Speaking of mail, I've seen a few posts start up for addies for Christmas cards. I am deeply regretful that I'm going to have to skip this year. :/ I normally splurge on this tradition because I love doing it, but with doubled+ mailing costs, I simply can't afford it. This makes me sad. Since I can't reciprocate, I won't be signing up as a recipient, either.

It's Bonfire Night, which means that there are bloody loud fireworks being set off everywhere. I'm abruptly glad that it is dark early because maybe they'll run out before I actually want to sleep! lol

I have by this time mostly settled into Est!Rob's head and made my peace with the fact that he's unusual, by which I mean that he doesn't fit neatly into any particular categories and he fucks with some of my own preconceptions, which are largely obliterated now as a consequence. *g* He's my first dom muse but he's also the strongest muse I've ever had (edging very slightly past Mr. Armstrong!), so there's been a fair amount of cognitive dissonance on my part with this getting-to-know-you process, and I've done more than my share of fretting and whinging at poor oh_johnny_, whose excellent advice is always to just shut up and let Rob drive. And I do. He drives some very unexpected places sometimes. Okay, most of the time. I'm mentioning all this because both of the just-posted logs are examples of unexpected places and we received a comment on the shorter/later one that totally has me glowing. Sometimes you really do need someone who has some more emotional distance from the characters to tell you that yes, this is working. ♥ (♥ to evaine too.)
 
 
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Duran Duran
 
 
 
Tas
28 October 2008 @ 05:49 pm
Getting an extra hour of weekend when the clocks fell back Sunday morning ain't worth coming out of work in the fucking dark. I went home my usual way today and realised that hey, I walk through a park. I don't walk through parks after dark, because that's stupid and courts trouble (not the good kind). So I'm going to have to go around the damn thing, probably by next week considering how far along twilight was when I got outside tonight. Mreh.

Someone asked me yesterday when I came in from lunch if it was cold out, and I said that the wind was picking up and that was a bit chilly, and he asked if he needed gloves. I gave some version of *shrug*. I don't think there's really a polite way to say that I don't know because I can't usually be bothered with gloves myself unless there's a risk of frostbite. *g*

I am LMAO that Amazon UK sent me an email about a sale on erotica books - and even more so b/c half of the ones shown are on exhibitionism. Apparently recs are made by searches as well as wish lists! *snicker* Awww. *pets her pup* At least we know what the sticking point is now.

I survived my first Est bar chats basically intact, though I could have throttled AIM a few times and goddamn did I miss having an edit option. I *need* to be able to edit, man. This is why I do not tag via chat, because as soon as I hit "send" I realise there's something else that needs to be added or deleted. When I'm using gmail, I get a secondary check by way of pasting it into the email and rereading there, which is far enough removed from Word that I see things I missed there. Editing is a huge part of my writing process - line-editing in particular - and it was driving me *nuts* not to be able to do anything about a tag once it was sent! I'll link those up on the master list later, but they're on the main Establishment page if for some reason someone's anxious to read them. Hell, *I* need to read them - I got booted often enough that I missed most of what was going on that didn't directly involve Rob.
 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
 
Tas
16 October 2008 @ 12:53 am
Meme  
Ganked from bassgeek:



You Are 70% British



Congrats, mate. You're are probably British.

(If not, definitely Australian. Or Kiwi. Or Canadian.)



You enjoy most aspects of mainstream British culture, without being stereotypical about it.

You also have a typical British temperament. You wouldn't dream of being impolite.



*snicker* The hilarious part is, only like two of those questions have changed answers since I moved here (the ones to do with football *g*). Which, btw, was six months ago as of last Friday, eep. And today marks one month since the Metallica concert! O_O Where oh where is my year going?!


Brittney had the baby on Saturday: Brixton Michael Pritchard (as per greenday.net). Mike, you great big fanboy dork, I love you. And there is a new studio footage vid up at GDA, too. Birth seems to have been the cue to go back to work!

And just for shits and giggles: The Official Ramen Homepage. Complete with news, recipes, and other stuff about everyone's favourite student meal. *g*

Also, while there's not a lot of point to squeeing about it here (and oh_johnny_ got to it first over on est_meta ♥ ), I feel the need to flail in my own LJ that Mark went and got an enormous angel tattoo in the centre of his back. Because Rob's pet name for him is 'angel' (plus some more complicated stuff to do with that fact). I think that is the thing that is most frustrating about writing a rare pairing (an only-one-in-existence pairing?). I mean, RPGs are not a venue where there's ever much in the way of feedback, so while the lack of commentary is sometimes disappointing, that's mainly b/c it'd be nice to get an external reality check every so often and make sure that the story/relationship arc that's developing itself makes sense to people who aren't in the middle of it; you don't go into writing in an RPG with the expectation of receiving much, or any, feedback. You go back to Rosfic if you want that. :P Far more frustrating is when I come across some tidbit like this one and need to squee about it, and end up just emailing Rhona and waiting for her to get home from work to squee together about it, because nobody else is even going to get why I'm flailing since so few people are reading it. It's not as fun to flail alone about things!
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty
 
 
Tas
22 September 2008 @ 07:15 pm
Walking home today, there was a section of sidewalk where a car had parked half on the sidewalk, leaving only a narrow strip to walk past the building. I saw this guy coming from the other direction and figured I'd wait, no big; wasn't really paying attention but he stopped and waved me through, which was nice, and when I said thanks he looked up from fiddling with his mp3 player and gave me this gorgeous big smile, and I was like, oh holy shit he looks like Mark! And my stomach kind of fluttered and I almost laughed right there but kept walking. It was just fucking weird. *pokes M!Rob* Keep it to yourself, dude. We are not looking for life to imitate art here and I am not picking up random twenty year olds because you think they're pretty. :P

And then one of the stores I went past had a guy in cut-off jean shorts and a tank top fixing shelves. He was mostly a blur of longish dark hair and arm muscles as I walked by. He seemed older? LOL. I don't even know anymore. *facepalm*

Ahaha, Boy1 is making dinner. Apparently he's in a good mood today, as the dish clanking is accompanied by horrifically off-key singing instead of him cursing a blue streak. *finds both entertaining*
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Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
Tas
07 September 2008 @ 02:12 am
I meant to post yesterday about the cloudburst I got caught in - after having forgotten to replace the umbrella that recently died - and actually having to stop to wipe my eyes in the park because my mascara had dissolved and they were stinging something fierce, lol. It was fun, except for the stinging part. It wasn't cold at all, and my raincoat had me well-covered neck to knee, so I happily splashed through puddles all the way home. Thought I was going to lose my trousers a couple of times, though; those ones are hanging pretty loose now and with the bottom half of the legs being so heavy from being soaked through, they were dragging. I do, however, need to remember to buy a new umbrella. LOL.

I have been told that I've been quiet lately, which has something to do with having had my brain eaten by pornographic images of a certain dancer. *g* God, having someone in your head who's positively *mooning* over someone else can be annoying. I'm slowly refining some of this raw material into something I can USE. M!Rob is imaginative, I'll give him that!

I upped some live MB20/Rob (here) and some Tabitha's Secret (here) tracks, as I promised to do so some time ago and have only now gotten both adequate 'net access and everything necessary on my computer to do so. Links go to box.net folders so you can stream from there or d/l individually at will. I'll edit to put the London show up again too, if it ever finishes uploading. *eyeroll* (London, L.A., Vegas, Reno.)
 
 
Current Mood: exanimatereclining
Current Music: Tommy
 
 
Tas
03 September 2008 @ 06:22 pm
*points sternly at oh_johnny_ and asknosecrets* No more pictures. No random tidbits, no *'wave-a-kink' in M!Rob's direction and watch his mun's head explode*, pleeeaaaaase. After stumbling over this gorgeous picture of a half-naked Mark this morning thanks to you two, I was right: no teeth-gnashing today. No, today we had some very naughty daydreams that got complicated enough that I was a bit 'huh?' and getting *snarked at* for it, so I got kind of, 'Fuck you, I don't have the patience for shit like that and I didn't think you did either,' and was promptly informed that he very much does so long as he can make it a touch-game. And I'm like, whatever. I've clearly lost it because I'm arguing with someone who lives in my head. And I know I lost my bookmarks, which obviously included all my fetish bookmarks (and those are gonna be a lot harder to replace than stuff like my alumni association!), but I've not *seen* anything quite like what he's imagining before, so I think it'd need to be custom-made, which he says is fine because it'll be pretty. I... what? Extravagance is A-OK as long as it's shiny??? *headdesk*

See, this is why I haven't image-googled Mark, or looked at the damn checklist, or, in fact, actively sought out *anything*. I've seen enough pix and I've watched some eps of DWTS before so I know what he looks like, and stuff like that doesn't get me "*sigh* pretty." It gets me a fucking action plan. In graphic detail. *whimpers*
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Current Mood: predatorypredatory
 
 
 
Tas
01 September 2008 @ 10:45 pm
I was going to make a post listing things wot are made of win (duh) but as it's thundering rather insistently outside I think I shall cut it short and just point at the tags. :D Them things is made of win right now. I need to go to bed in a minute anyway but what prompted said list was that I was walking to work this morning, kinda bouncy despite it being a Monday - and a statutory holiday in North America, I can't remember the last time I actually worked on Labour Day - and the first of September, usually one of my favourite months, and I was listening to my iPod and bopping along and knowing that looking_spiffy (*mwah*) would shortly be getting us Metallica tickets for the gig on the 15th for five quid apiece (I know!), which day I already have off specifically to go to that because they gave just enough advance notice to book the day, and I just had Reading, and there's all sorts of other stuff coming up, and oh_johnny_ and I had a meta-comment-porn explosion, and as of Wednesday it will be five months since I left home and you know what? I'm really fucking happy. ♥
 
 
Current Location: about to sleeeeep (I hope!)
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: The Delays
 
 
 
Tas
01 September 2008 @ 01:22 am
That is all.

I take back the first part. I put up a master list post for Rob's logs here @ tasyfafiction now that there's a half-decent amount of stuff to link up. I'll update that post as anything new gets posted, so if you want to follow along, go memory it, k? And you can comment there if you wish to say anything. I'll fix my tag list at some point, and you can find it via est!rob that way. I'll post to themadseason about it later, too; gotta make myself go to bed now, lol.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: take a wild guess :P
 
 
 
Tas
29 August 2008 @ 07:56 pm
Anyone else gotten a "404 Page Not Found" error on an LJ page lately? I had one that didn't load properly (too many tabs open... whoops) and this was the actual error message:
-----
Page Not Found

I'm sorry, you've reached a page that I cannot find. I'm really sorry about this. It's kind of embarassing. Here you are, the user, trying to get to a page on LiveJournal and I can't even serve it to you. What does that say about me? I'm just a webserver. My sole purpose in life is to serve you webpages and I can't even do that! I suck. Please don't be mad, I'll try harder. I promise! Who am I kidding? You're probably all like, "Man, LiveJournal's webserver sucks. It can't even get me where I want to go." I'm really sorry. Maybe it's my CPU...no that's ok...how bout my hard drives? Maybe. Where's my admin? I can't run self-diagnostics on myself. It's so boring in this datacenter. It's the same thing everyday. Oh man, I'm so lonely. I'm really sorry about rambling about myself, I'm selfish. I think I'm going to go cut my ethernet cables. I hope you get to the page you're looking for...goodbye cruel world!

-the webserver

Error: could not find server
-----
Ahahahaha! Somebody has a sense of humour. :D


In completely unrelated news, M!Rob has eaten my brain. I was expecting that, more or less - one of the main reasons I never picked him up to play before now was because I didn't want to be so closely entwined until I'd stopped being angry at Real!Rob. Which, obviously, I did, especially after getting to see the band live - the whole band! Paul and Kyle and Pookie too! - and now, he actually chatters worse than Saints!Billie did. He doesn't have quite the same soul-grip (I'm not sure any other character could or will, honestly), but he *talks* constantly. I think the strangest contrast between them is that I don't understand M!Rob nearly as well as I understand S!Billie. I mean every character you write draws on some part of yourself, however small, especially if you method-act write the way I usually do. And I've never had a really active muse who was a strong dominant before - especially a really experienced Dom - so I was worried that I'd run out of ideas or something (shush, it could happen, even my filthy mind only stretches so far) but it's been just the opposite. In fact, as I was telling asknosecrets, oh_johnny_ has decided that when she's bored, she's just going to wave a kink in M!Rob's direction and watch my head explode when he runs with it. :P But it's like, I'm working on a scene with another pup who's almost a foot taller than Rob, and I was looking at pictures of him when we started to get his looks fixed in my mind and thinking, "Well, clearly this is not going to be some kind of physical fight scene because the Dom is not supposed to *lose* those," *snerk* and M!Rob gave me a totally unconcerned shrug and said, "They're all smaller on their knees." And I would just like to know, where the fuck is that calm assurance coming from??? And how do I tap into it myself?! Enquiring minds wish to know!

Speaking of oh_johnny_ and Est!Rob, if she manages to get Internet access this evening we'll be updating with part 2 of the Minnesota stuff; her home 'net was knocked out by a storm. There is, however, this journal post of Mark's set a few days after this log (why yes, it does hurt the brain to be going back and forth in time like that!), which got... interesting, to say the least, in the comments. Apparently my Rob hasn't quite lost all of his arrogant asshole-ness. He is so much more Busted and Crutch and Feel than Little Wonders *gaaaag*. I love it.

Oh oh and, on the topic of arrogance, most of y'all who care will already know that Metallica's new album Death Magnetic will be released on September 12th. Perhaps you didn't look at the date, though: it's a Friday. North American CD and DVD releases happen on Tuesdays; UK's on Mondays. Metallica, however, have basically said fuck you everyone worldwide is doing this on OUR timetable. I really kind of love that, too. And, shuffle yesterday went from their cover of So What! to Green Day's Ha Ha You're Dead and Platypus (I Hate You). Made for a surprisingly cheery walk to work, hee.

One more music-related thing: if them as live upstairs are going to play audible music, I don't mind the Jamiroquai too much but man, today I came home to Puddle of Mudd's Control. That? I have noooooooo problems with at all. :D

I need to do a RL-type post, and a festival post (it'll be words, I took no pictures eep), and a couple of other online things this weekend, like a master list round-up of Rob's logs before I accumulate enough for it to be a pain in the ass. Right now, however, it's almost full dark and I need to close the wiiiiindoooooow!
 
 
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: Glitz Mix on the radio
 
 
Tas
08 August 2008 @ 05:38 pm
You'd think I'd be more upset that the courier attempted delivery of my lappy to my house yesterday - while I was at work, of course - and when I called the driver back (because this is the one delivery person who's actually figured out that the buzzer system for my house sucks big hairy moose balls and has PHONED ME like an intelligent human being), he gave me a number to call to get it redirected. No problem, right? Except that it's only an automated system and what he *didn't* do was leave a delivery attempt card with some fucking code on it. Without which, no automated system function. So the real live human I finally got hold of told me I had to email about it, and as I couldn't do that from work, I've just done it now, ergo the computer isn't going anyfuckingwhere until next week. Blech. I *was* pissed earlier, but I suppose over the last two weeks I've gotten semi-used to spending far too much time at the library and/or mooching off of friends for short spurts. Plus, I have a shitload of stuff to do over the weekend anyway, so it's probably just as well that I get it *done* before I recover an active link to the outside fucking world and drown in it. *g*

Work, btw, is going very well. Nice office and I type faster than my manager, so. Heh. There is this lovely thing I call a tea circle. Essentially, in our division, there are a bunch of people who drink tea. Amongst them, whoever feels the urge first goes round and picks up everyone's cups on a tray, takes them to the tiny kitchen area, gives them a rinse, and brings them back with milk and hot water in them. You supply your own teabags and sugar, and everyone takes turns doing the tea run. Dude, you have NO IDEA how much I love this. I've always been the tea freak in a room full of coffee drinkers! And, when I was asked if I was a tea drinker on my first day (my manager is a water-only gal), someone found me a mug, nicked me some sugar and gave me a couple of teabags til I could bring my own in the following day. Awww. Once I have a slightly better handle on things like oh, names and which people are actually IN my division, I'll take my turns too, lol. I like this place. :D

And just as a general throwaway line, my brain has definitely been eaten by one Mr. Thomas. A feat for which I had full warning, but nonetheless, I am fascinated by this entire thing. Like, the kind of fascination I usually reserve for language and funky spelling and stuff (oh stfu you all know I'm that big a dork). I LOVE it! ♥ I don't have anything postable yet - things are obviously slow, being as I have one window of 'net time a day usually - but, y'know, there *are* things. Hee.
 
 
Current Location: Liiiiibrary!
Current Mood: cheerfuloddly cheery
Current Music: Other peoples typing + traffix
 
 
 
Tas
01 August 2008 @ 11:26 am
Gah, you know, I keep having all these, "I want to post about that," thoughts and then I actually get a few minutes here with time to do that, because I don't need to spend 3/4 of my limited computer time with work-related stuff, and I go blank. Fabulous. We'll stick to a list because nobody else needs to know how long it was supposed to be, right? ;)

-The spell of hot, muggy weather we've had for about the last two weeks has finally stomped on my allergies. I've been coughing and sneezing my head off the last few days. Apparently, my body knows it's August. :P One of the few areas where Halifax beats pretty much everywhere else is in regards to allergies, so I was kind of expecting them to flare up here, but hoping it wouldn't be too bad. Though, I expect having spent time in London recently didn't help matters; it's really more the coastal areas where there's any improvement.

-Even with as limited as I've been forced to play so far, I'm enjoying the Est and having fun with the writing and posting parts both. I can't wait to be able to get properly involved when I have my laptop back. I'm also finding it absolutely fascinating to deal with Rob at different points in time (there are, of course, flashback scenes). It's so interesting to get past a certain point in writing something set *then*, and then realise how it affects who he is and what he thinks/feels/does *now*, and that it's actually really critical to his character development. Whee.

-Semi-relatedly, I am getting to the point in some things where I am somewhat less comfortable posting from the library, lol. Not that that'll stop me, but it appears I do have some sense of propriety after all. I'd say something about y'all being shocked, but by this time, I sincerely doubt it!

-I need to post about this in more detail, and possibly steal some of cookie2697's pix, but we went to the BBC Proms last Sunday, for the Doctor Who Prom, with muffinkath7's sister and a friend of Anne's. This is not a formal graduation dance type thing, btw - that's what I thought it was the first time I heard of it, that some school had gone all fannish on their formal! - but the Proms are a series of orchestral concerts at the Royal Albert Hall in London. The DW one was # 13 and it was amazing. It wasn't the first time, but it was probably the strongest that I've wished that I were a really, truly obsessed fan for the show, because the entire thing was a glorious exercise in the best kind of fan service. (No, not *that* kind, you naughty people.)

That's all I've got time for now. Off to Wales in the morning (so excited!)!
 
 
Current Mood: rushedrushed
 
 
Tas
29 July 2008 @ 06:31 pm
Wee post because I have ten minutes here before the library computers go offline (eep!). Btw, I am not cut out for this no Internet at night thing. It's only been a few days and it's driving me batshit. However, they are coming to pick up my laptop tomorrow afternoon, and it's supposed to take 5-7 business days to return, so hopefully I will have it back by the end of next week. *crosses everything crossable* I have a feeling that I'll have to reinstall a whole bunch of stuff before I can use it, aka that the hard drive has actually gone boom and will be replaced, but everything absolutely critical was backed up, and the rest is more annoyance than catastrope, so. Which I think I mentioned, but as I'm not taking the time to read back even on my own LJ, tough shit you get to read it again. :P

Also btw, I don't think I managed to post that I did indeed go ahead and join the Est with Rob, so there's a couple of things up, and I'm working on more. I was pleasantly surprised that people I didn't already know were interested in playing with me. :D Yes, I know how that sounds. Don't have time to fix it! But, if you wanna check out Mr. Thomas's journal, 'tis here. I'll do a proper post about it later, when I have proper computer access again. *wants WS*
 
 
Current Mood: rushedrushed
 
 
 
Tas
15 July 2008 @ 01:55 am
I'm in a very strange mood tonight; I don't really know why. Some of it has to do with having finished the scene with oh_johnny_ and the natural little letdown of 'where'd it go?' when a project's completed, as well as the things that it's had me thinking, about writing and co-writing and myself and RPGs and the nature of muses. Some of it's because I heard back today that the interviewer felt I was "not suitable for the team at this time," or some such (paraphrasing), so I am back to the beginning again with the job hunt, though the consultant did refer me to someone in the temporary division, so I'll try to contact her if I don't hear from her tomorrow. Mreh. Have I mentioned how much I despise this process? Cuz I really, really fucking do.

This song is the one I associate most strongly with the first boy I fell in love with, a very long time ago indeed. Yet listening to it, particularly at times like tonight, can recall the feelings so acutely, on both ends of the scale. He hurt me so badly. The only thing that ever hurt more was when my ex-husband bailed, sadly with even less maturity than the former had exhibited at twelve. *eyeroll* But I also remember moments where I would look at him and something about the way he looked or the way he reacted would just kind of hit me in the chest with all of this emotion, you know, and I'd think, Oh my God I love you. That's the feeling I've been thinking about lately, for various reasons. Though these days, I think my wording would run more along the lines of, I fucking love you. ;)

Not unrelatedly to either previous paragraph, I'm tired of being afraid of things. And tired of having that all rush in again after I've managed to talk myself out of it, which is a rather Herculean task to begin with. I'd like very much to be just a little less confused altogether, okay, universe? That would be ace.


Oh, and speaking of that completed project, if anyone wants to read about Rob and Mark's evening at the Est, you can do that here. It's a good long piece. Quite a bit longer than either oh_johnny_ or I had intended, but we weren't the ones driving, lol. And another thing about Rob - the real one - is this, which is a scan of his contributory chapter, "The Art of Scoring," to the book, Pot Culture: The A-Z Guide to Stoner Language and Life. No, I'm not kidding. *has spent a lot of time recently going, "Oh, Rob *facepalm*."*
 
 
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
Current Music: Save a Prayer - Duran Duran