The leave-taking, that is. Couple people who won't be in tomorrow for whatever reason; nobody I'm particularly close to. I'm finding it a tiny bit difficult to be appropriately polite in response to, "We'll miss you." In the sense that if I were to express my true thoughts they would go something like, "I can't wait to get the fuck out of here." Which doesn't preclude missing the place or the people, but, yeah. One more day and I can taste it already. I'm starting to get excited instead of just unrelentingly anxious. As well as? It's not like I'm suddenly not anxious but I guess with more tangible progress it's beginning to acquire a sheen of reality.

Tomorrow is the first in my personal series of Thursdays of Change. Plane tickets are cheaper if you fly T/W/Th so the initial portion of my travel lined up that way, and then most of the rest of it did also, so I nudged the little that needed it to continue the pattern. I was born on a Thursday. Which isn't significant, per se, nor is the pattern absolute or immutable, but it clicks for me.

I have my Starbucks bears all mentally assigned to my team members. :D There are a few that are imo unattractive, or got soopersquished, that I shoved in the 'donate' pile, and I am keeping a couple. The rest are going to work with me tomorrow. Fun! I'm pleased. Right now I'm working on a thank you/farewell card that can be put up on our board. V's coming by on Saturday to pick up the craft supplies. I think she's gonna be glad she drives an SUV, heh.

Oh, yeah, went to the dentist yesterday to pick up my bite plane. It's kind of cool looking; I wasn't expecting it to be transparent plastic, for some reason. She made me put it on and take it off a zillion times to make sure it wasn't hitting anything it shouldn't and filed it down in a couple of places. It feels very, very weird going on but I was a good girl and wore it to bed last night, and I got used to it pretty quickly. I am also thrilled to report that I do *not* have the apparently fairly common reaction of sleeping with my mouth open to deal with the appliance's presence and thereby drooling everywhere. Ew. Yay me. The only time in recent memory that I've drooled in my sleep is, er, not in memory, actually, or not mine anyway, lol. I was verrry, very drunk that night. Wild B informed me that I had drooled on him, to which I enquired why didn't he move me then, and he just gave me this look and a smirk and said why would he do that when I'd passed out face first in his lap? *facepalm* It's even more hilarious now because in all honesty, retainers make me think of blowjobs. One of the first Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue Johansen radio shows I listened to had a male caller whose gf had given him one while wearing her retainer and he was wondering if he was weird for finding it extra awesome. Sue told him it was perfectly normal since he was more relaxed due to not worrying about the possibility of inappropriate biting. *g* I have no idea why that's always stuck with me, but it has seriously come to mind every time I've seen a friend wear a retainer. Also, Sunday night radio used to be awesome, once upon a time - Dr. Demento and Sex with Sue! Just... don't let your parents know that's what you're listening to in the sixth grade. :P Heeheehee. (Clearly I have not been doing enough writing on WS yet; spellcheck does not recognise 'blowjobs.' *fixes*) Of course, there's the (much later) part where I lost any concept of Sue as a guru after she gave a talk at my high school and declared that the act that led a couple to intercourse was French kissing. Huh??? Sorry, no. Not even *close*. I've kissed a shitload more people than I've fucked, you silly woman.

I picked up my new glasses yesterday, too. Even my mother, who knew that I'd gone to get them, didn't notice that they were different ones LOL. They are *extremely* similar, same cat-eye shape, same satin burgundy finish; they are a bit more elegantly curved and slimmer, without the extra decorations. Which is perfect, really, b/c as much as I adore my old ones, I have three of the original eight rhinestones left on 'em. The new ones are like a slightly more grown up version without losing the uniqueness. I am pleased. I also LOVE the case they gave me, which looks like a tiny red clutch purse with white polka-dots on the front facing. It's so cute! angela_o, it totally made me think of you. :D

No pictures yet, though. I don't have time to mess around with them right now. Also, I'm getting my hair cut next week before I leave, so I'll just take some then - or even wait until I get to Montreal. One of the many reasons that the stopover step was a stroke of genius. Those few days will be a wee buffer between the insanity that prep and pack is being, and all the *new* *new* *new* and whirlwind activity once I get to England. I'll be able to catch my breath and it also functions as a baby step of sorts. I'm leaving, but going first to a city I already know and love, in my own country sort of ;), and just knowing that helps make me less anxious. I can also flail madly at poor evaine about everything in a way I simply can't with the parents, because of course I'm fourth-guessing myself and worrying and all of that even though I am indeed sure of what I'm doing and that it's the right thing for me. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't doing at least a little bit of freaking out!

I had the impressions of my teeth made at the dentist today and if I never have to do that again, it will be too soon. Gross. Ugh, the mould goop is by far the grossest stuff I have ever had in my mouth, and that is including the bucket of sand my five-year-old self ate and had to be forced to puke up. *heebie-jeebies* Just, ew. Ew, dude. I can't stress that enough. EW.

Less gross, if ultimately more painful, was fixing the cracked filling over my root canal. I am definitely going to need to put a crown on it eventually. However, this will hold for now, and since my dental insurance doesn't cover crowns anyway, it's not going to matter where or when I get it done as I'd have to pay for it out of pocket anyway. Using the bite plane while I sleep will at least give the filling some longevity. And, at least I also know for sure that nothing was missed during the root canal - it really is a properly dead tooth. So a big w00t for not needing to go there again!

Because it was at the back of my mouth, though, she used a dental dam, as is fairly common practice. As a patient, I like this for two reasons: one, it reminds me to keep my mouth open so I'm not listening to constant verbal reminders from the poor dentist; and two, I associate dental dams with a completely different oral activity and thus my mind wanders. ;) I'd never had a dentist use one on me growing up, so my first encounter with a dental dam was in a safe sex presentation during frosh week in university, by a gay man who was clearly a lot better at theory than practice, which is also when we discovered that the one girl on our floor who was in the concurrent education programme was extremely talented at putting a condom on a banana with her mouth. Because clearly this is a critical skill for a teacher, heh. Anyway, yes. The moral of the story is that oral sex > dentistry by a long shot. :P

Speaking of licking, I have had this definition browser window open for a week or something now and keep forgetting to mention it, because I can't remember who asked or where or what the context was. But, someone wanted to know if faire de la lèche was a fair translation of ass-licking. It's not a colloquial phrase I knew off the top of my head, but after poking around at some point or another, I discovered that it means to cozy up to someone, in the sense of ass-kissing. So not a direct translation, but it works for the original context, which IIRC was also meant in the ass-kissing sense but was expressed more explicitly. As for the French for actual rimming, I'm at a loss, man. We covered some interesting things in my small upper classes (and I wish I remembered the bazillion different ways to say "balls"!) but that was not one of them.

What else? Oh, there was a marked sale on memory cards this week, so I took back my two 1GB cards and got two 4GB ones for a paltry $20 more. Yay! I think that will do me for a verrrrrrry long time indeed. In fact, considering that I have several airport photos of mockingbird39 because neither of us remembers to take pictures, I think 8GB of photo memory is more than I will ever need, lol. But, I have it, and the price was certainly right. And I can squander it on little movies or something once I know how to do those.

I am procrastinating, yes. And I should be going to bed shortly because I have an eye doctor appointment at 9 tomorrow. *groans* One of the reasons I'm not nearly as far along as I'd hoped is because I have had all of these external appointments to contend with. Which are ultimately more important because I absolutely HAVE to do those now, but it would have been nice to be able to better stack them on the same days instead of losing chunks of almost every day, y'know? Ah, well.

Today has made me tired. Perhaps that's to be expected of a Monday that began with a trip to the dentist after very little sleep? I'd blame my frazzled state on lack of sleep, but in truth I came home after my appointment and crashed for a few more hours, so that doesn't quite wash. No, it's from banging my head against a bureaucratic brick wall - more than one of them. *sigh* And then the capper was that I went to look at my bank activity and discovered that my car insurance payment came out this month. You know, the insurance policy that was for the car that is dead and gone and they paid out on? Yeaaaaaahhhh. That's gonna be a fun phone call, lemme tell ya. I mean, hello? Are you people stupid? Actually, today has been one of those days that reminds one in stunning detail that yes, indeed, people *are* REALLY FUCKING STUPID.

I think the worst part is that while I did technically get some very important stuff done, it was mostly electronic so I am sitting here amidst the exact same piles of stuff that I was yesterday, about to go to bed in a few minutes, and between that and how immensely aggravating said electronic stuff ended up being, I don't feel like I accomplished a damn thing today. Except for getting a filling, but all I did for that was show up, practically vibrate right out of the chair with tension, and pay. Not really a shining moment there. OTOH, I do really, really like the dentist's office. My dentist is really sweet, and her assistant is great; I like her even better than the dentist. It's too bad that I didn't suck it up and try the office earlier b/c I wouldn't be squishing this all into this month. I have a couple more appointments to fix the cracked root canal filling and another one where I've apparently ground a scoop out of the tooth, and to get fitted for a bite plane. :/ Jeez. I've gone this long without a single orthodontic device but at some point over the last few years, I graduated from jaw-clencher to night-grinder and that's why the filling cracked. (The previous dentist also did a sucky job, but it would have eventually cracked anyway; the actual tooth enamel and the filling substance move differently under intense pressure.) And I haaate the idea of having to wear a retainer-thingie while I sleep. So unsanitary. I'm going to be obsessive about cleaning it, I can tell. Course if I'd been similarly obsessive about dental hygiene then the grindy fillings would've been the only ones to worry about. But I'm not about to chastise myself for not being a girl scout about brushing my teeth mid-depression. *eyeroll*

I allowed myself the night off to just fuck around online and with iTunes (we're very much still getting acquainted, but thanks to revid, I now know that the wee checkmarks are pretty damn important *facepalm*) since I was up at ass o'clock to go to the dentist. Which, btw, went shockingly well. We discussed possible solutions and she explained to me why the filling on the root canal-ed tooth had cracked, and options on preventing a re-occurrence once it's been fixed. Course, a crown is the number one option, buuuut my insurance doesn't cover them - the former dentist had already queried before we did the root canal, and I still think he did a shitty job b/c he expected to be able to slap that on afterwards. Grr. Anyway, I really liked the office in general, and the hygienist is my new best friend because she cleaned my teeth and it didn't hurt. AT ALL. Colour me impressed. I think that may be a first! I prolly won't be quite so pain-free when I go back for the next appointment to get the filling fixed, but y'know, small victories. ;)

This is a succinct, relatively accurate guide for newbies to LJ, about how to navigate its fandomy waters and what sort of netiquette is observed here, as opposed to on a message board, for example. Thought I'd pass it on despite most of y'all having been here quite a while.

I'm all over the map emotionally right now, and I suspect that's going to continue - though it's also partly hormonally-driven atm, to which I say :P. But I get little stomach-flutter attacks and little cases of the giddies and also with the random crying. It's kind of amusing, if bordering on annoying so far and with definite potential to be absofuckinglutely frustrating the longer it continues. Hi, fucked-up post-depression mechanics of dealing with stress. You suck but I can deal so there. Though more sleep would = win so I'm off to attempt such maintenant.

Man, am I ever craving chocolate now, lol. The dad told me that the Food Network was having an all-chocolate-themed day so I've had the TV on instead of music. By now, I'm thinking that I should have made sure I had chocolate in the house before listening to all that! Though the one woman squicked me pretty badly by having ice cubes in her glass of milk. Ew. Also, I now understand what all the fuss is about re: Nigella Lawson. Wow. (I don't mean her cooking, though proper hot chocolate and chocolate cheesecake do sound yummy.)

Five hours of sleep ain't enough. But once I'd woken up, I was *awake*, brain chugging along, so I gave up on trying to get back to sleep after about fifteen minutes and got up. Now, however, I'm running out of steam. But it's much too late to nap, especially since I have to be up really early tomorrow to go to the dentist, mreh. New dentist, btw; I haven't been back to the other one since getting the filling filed down a couple weeks after the root canal he fucked up. Ergo, I'm in dire need of a proper cleaning and said fuck-up is going to need to come out. :-/ Not tomorrow - hopefully I can make an appointment for next week for that (and there goes another day...).

My cat is a freak, in other news. Not that that's news by now. But, it started out raining today and finally switched to snow, so it's been snowing pretty good for the last few hours and there's about 10cm out there. Nibbs just went out onto the back deck and is puttering around in the snow, playing hockey with the small snowballs the mother is throwing at him. Hee!

Mreh. Tooth appears to be fine - the filling needed to be filed down, it was too high and thereby stressing everything. They didn't charge me for that either which is good b/c I didn't have the energy to be bitchy about it this morning. I went to bed early but couldn't sleep right away and then woke like a half hour before my alarm. Now, I haven't even gotten to work yet and I feel exhausted. :-/ Oh well. I'm not sure if today being Pyjama Day is a good or a bad thing since it does kinda make me want to sleep *more* lol but at least I'm comfortable!


P.S. Joia, I'll have your list for you tonight. I didn't quite get done with it yesterday, sorry. ♥

So I did finally go to the doctor yesterday b/c my ear was hurting, except as it turns out, my ear is fine and it's my jaw that's the problem: the joint right beneath my ear is inflamed, due to - guess what? - the tooth that was supposedly FIXED last month but as of yesterday, actually has some feeling in it again. Zombie tooth! I am all kinds of pissed off. And on anti-inflammatories in the meantime, b/c I couldn't get a dentist appt til Monday. I am going to get this whatever fixed the way it should have been in the first place, and then I'm switching dentists, man. This is fucking ridiculous.

Other than that, I feel mend-y. The sneezysnifflies are fading out. I'm still coughing, but coughs are extremely persistent with me; I expect there'll still be (non-contagious ;) ) remnants of it when I'm in SF. In any case, I am feeling more like a human being now and an adult one at that, instead of the angsting fourteen-year-old who's been inhabiting my body all week. I'll prolly post about that separately, more to get my own thoughts than for anyone else's benefit. Not that a detailed accounting of a fricking cold is all that fascinating either but it makes me feel better to whine about it!

I played around with some of the new LJ styles and some older ones, and eventually ended right back with the same one I'd had, just spiffed a little. *giggles* Nothing else has everything I want on it! Plus there's that whole "change" thing...heh.

Laaaazy weekend so far. I've been supertired the last couple days, I presume with leftover anaesthetic finally making its way out of my system. Thursday, I was lightheaded and leaden-limbed - not a fun combo, esp when you kinda feel like you might puke at any given moment. I prolly should've gone/stayed home but I did not, b/c I'm stubborn like that. Also I don't have a lot of sick time left, thanks to two bouts of flu this year. *scowls*

I'm currently ensconced in my robe and socks. Because I'm cold in just pyjamas. WTF, dude? Summer has apparently decided that it's over. Mmmmmm although we got some peaches from the Valley today and omgsogood. Messy. :D

My evening is being spent in the oh-so-exciting manner of figuring out just what the hell music files I have and if I wanna keep them or not. iTunes is most valuable for this. Otherwise, it's largely useless for me and it makes everything run hella slow, which is annnnoyyyyying. But I am getting rid of tonnes and also falling in love with lots too, so I expect I'll do a music post soon with some of the hidden gems in my overlarge collection.

And I'm doing some writing, too, yay. I feel like I never post anything and yet I've been writing every freaking day, just on WIPs! *needs some shorter stories, holy crap*

Hmm. I forget what else, it's taken me so damn long to type this much!

Six doses. Six doses of anaesthetic and I still spent the last half hour feeling every freaking thing. And then it was, of course, slightly more complicated than expected so it was also ~$200 more than quoted. Eurgh. I called in to work and I'm going back to bed because I'm in rather a lot of pain. This is supposed to *fix* the pain. *is totally aware that she's whining again but OW*

I have my dentist appt tomorrow morning. :-/ Yes, yes, so the pain in my jaw (which hasn't actually been that painful for the last week or so) will go away once it's all done, but it has to BE done first. Meh. It's supposed to finish a couple of hours before work so I didn't take the day off, but I did tell my manager today that I might be late and/or decide not to come depending on how I feel. I suspect I'll be making a mumbling phone call after and legitimately ditching in favour of sleep. Soooooo tired these days, and will be for another two weeks or thereabouts while my body adjusts to the 24/7 allergy attack known as breathing during ragweed season. Joy. On the positive front, I haven't had to resort to meds yet and hopefully that will continue; it just exhausts me while my immune system learns to cope with being so active all the time. (Of course, if it were less STUPID I wouldn't have allergies in the first place...)

[/whining]

I am to bed. In case anyone missed it, the Illinois Institute of Art class of Winter 2004 created an animated video to Green Day's Misery. It is *extremely* cool and somewhat Danté-esque.

Constant, mostly low level pain is very annoying and surprisingly exhausting as well. Remember that whole "need a root canal" thing? Well, I was on vacation by the time I'd finished the course of antibiotics, and by the time I came back, my dentist was on vacation. And since I need to have an early morning appointment so as not to miss work, it's not til the 23rd. Except, my jaw started hurting again *last* weekend and I went in to make sure it wasn't inflamed again but no. It's just hurting. The only solution is to get the procedure done and that's not for another two weeks so the stand-in dentist I saw (b/c mine is still off fishing or w/e) said to try not to take any more Advil than was absolutely necessary. *grumble* Which I wouldn't have anyway; after so many years having to eat allergy meds like fucking candy I don't take anything unless I really need to, and I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I have to be in agony before I reach for painkillers. So basically, the left side of my skull/neck/shoulder is just this constant ache and it isn't nice. Ugh.

In other annoyances, there is a punk festival type thing happening that includes Against Me! and others and is headlined by NOFX, with a smaller side stage featuring local bands. Sounds good, right? BUT. When is it? 4 p.m. MONDAY. I've known about Flip the Switch for a while (though I lost the myspace addy) but it was supposed to have been on the weekend, and it's not. It's on a fucking Monday afternoon and I wouldn't be able to get to where the venue is til almost 10 p.m., by which time I *might* have been able to catch the last couple songs. WTF is with that scheduling?! Even people who work normal hours wouldn't be able to make that! The teenagers who are currently not in school are NOT your entire potential audience you dimwits.

To conclude on a happier note, I *am* going to San Francisco for the week of Halloween. *grins* Still working out various details but I have a plane ticket! I kinda hope the liquids restriction is lifted by then but I'm not getting my hopes up. I will say that if they aren't allowing you to bring bottled water on the plane, they'd damned well better be providing water at no charge then. There is NO WAY I'm spending a five hour flight without water!

I'm debating on getting my passport before going. That was my plan for this summer, but honestly, I'm not sure I trust my government to have my ID back to me in time and until Jan. '07, Canadians can still use just proof of citizenship and regular photo ID to enter the USA. I know it would make things easier if I had a proper passport for this trip but I don't know that I want to take the chance of not having any ID at all and therefore being unable to go, because of some bureaucratic delay, so I think I will wait until after I get back from SF to do that. :-/

Lovely day today, although the continuing humidity plus the sunshine today plus the wind = allergies acting up. Humid air just *holds* all the pollen. :-/ I ended up going shopping. I'd originally intended to just get a new battery for my watch, but Claire's has their red-line clearout thing on where red-tagged merch is 10/$10 so I indulged in some amazingly trashy earrings and stuff. :D Although I'm sad that I didn't notice the pink/burgundy ones I thought would go with one of my brooches are clip-ons. Oh, well. *pinches ear lobes* I also ended up with two tops, one a bright mix of warm shades and one, well, black. *laughs*

I also quite randomly made an appointment to get my hair cut on Monday at a salon I'd passed before but never really thought about. I went by today and one of the employees, who was standing at the counter with the receptionist, had this really funky black and burgundy cut that looked great. That seemed like a good sign. The main reason it's taken me so long to bother (besides not knowing what I want to do, exactly) is that I feel bad about not going back to the stylist I've been going to. She's an awesome person, and she was great when I had long, wavy hair but she's not really getting it now and I'm not feeling comfortable with her anymore. Plus, I think that salon is too expensive. The obvious thing is to move on, but I'm terrible about that b/c I feel so guilty. I tend to be overly loyal even when I shouldn't be. However, decision's made now and we shall see how that goes. If they'd had a window with enough time I would have gotten it done today but they didn't, and that's cool, too.

Ow. Dunno if I mentioned how things went at the dentist earlier in the week. The filling isn't sticking so I need to either get the tooth pulled or have a root canal. Neither option fills me with joy. I've never had a root canal before but nobody else seems to like them! In the meantime, I'm on antibiotics b/c it's swollen and I keep forgetting to take them at the prescribed intervals, and then am reminded that I have forgotten when it starts to fucking *hurt*. Argh.

Spent my evening curled up with a book, which I haven't done in quite a while. I spend more time reading online than on paper anymore, and in the last few months, more time *writing* than any kind of reading. I'm perfectly okay with that but it was nice to just sit on the couch and get inky fingers. :-) Course now that I'm finished it, I'm dreadfully bored, lol.

I'm so overdue on these but I didn't forget! Not tagging anyone at this late date, though. *laughs*

( 7 songs memeCollapse )

( 8 weird, factual, quirky things about TasCollapse )

I have tomorrow off. Yay! I'll be spending the morning at the dentist. Not so yay. Anyone remember me bitching about getting a filling back in May or so? It's come loose or something. I don't know, it doesn't look any different but it hurts all of a sudden. :-/ Ergo, dentist. I hope it doesn't cost out the wazoo - or need a root canal eep! - b/c that would SUCK. Me no likey dental work.

I celebrated the fact that I had my teeth cleaned at the dentist's today in the most logical manner possible: Easter candy! LOL. Hayley is a candy freak and every holiday, she makes up little bags for the whole team and leaves them on our desks. Today's had the unfortunate inclusion of a spearmint-flavoured jellybean. Ewwwwwww. Not a mint fan at all - peppermint quite randomly triggers my gag reflex so it's not high on my list of favourite flavours. Strangely, it doesn't bother my throat when it's mixed with chocolate, though, so I'm all for that combo! (And yes, I use cinnamon toothpaste, lol.) Getting up to go to the dentist in the first place was sooooooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaaaaard this morning though! Argh. I caught an extra hour of sorta-sleep when I got back before I had to go to work, but it wasn't a deep sleep or anything. Just long and deep enough for some really vivid, fucked-up dreams. Something involving an essay? I think I'm having sympathy exam pains for the portion of my flist which is in school.

Although getting a jellybean I didn't like reminded me of Bertie Botts's jellybeans in Harry Potter, which made me think that since they have such ridiculous flavours as ear wax and vomit, they must also have come-flavoured jellybeans. Which kinda made me glad I didn't have any white ones in the bag. *is so in that proverbial handbasket*

Also, yes, yes, yes I will take some pictures once I have my new glasses. Yeesh! Actually, I'm getting my hair cut next Saturday so I'll wait till after that. This weekend I need to scout out stuff so I can do the dyeing myself, now that Elz has given me some idea of what I'm doing, lol. If I can't find it yet, I'll get it done pro once more and keep looking and possibly get it online if I have to. I'd rather get something right here though, in case I need to ask someone questions! And if all else fails, she offered to mail me some LOL so we could work something out that way.

Update on the work sitch: apparently they finished the painting after-hours on Tuesday. My manager went after the super yesterday and his explanation was that he'd thought it would be okay b/c it was in an enclosed space, i.e., a room with the door closed. Obviously the guy has never painted a small room b/c the way the workers left the tray outside the door is *standard* so that you don't end up stepping in the damn thing! Anyway, my manager basically told him off and also empowered me to pretty much do what I said I would if it happened again, namely inform the manager on duty that it was to stop immediately and the equipment be removed, and to leave the building if I needed to. Have I mentioned recently that I love her? She really is awesome. I've been *so* incredibly lucky in my bosses to date. Course, I'm also a very good employee so it's worth it to kiss my ass. ;-D

I hate dissolving stitches. It feels like I'm constantly on the verge of swallowing something I'm not supposed to be. And get yer minds out of the gutter on that, b/c post-oral surgery care dictates no hot liquids *or* straws, so there sure as hell ain't gonna be any of THAT any time soon, lol.  I'm very tired of lukewarm tea already, though.  It's just WRONG on so many levels!

I still feel like lead weight too. :-(  It doesn't usually take this long for drugs to pass out of my system. And I'm tired, but it's like I'm overtired - listless and energyless but can't sleep. Fucking annoying.

therealltf has been listening to me rattle on about Green Day for a while now, which is only fair as I listen to her rambles about Jason lol, but he's not doing anything right now so she made me a huge batch of screencaps just for me from the AOL concert stream and from the Jesus of Suburbia video.  If anyone's interested in seeing them, I posted a bunch on favorite_son, here (AOL) and here (JoS).  I actually have a whole bunch more AOL ones to go through but I abandoned them yesterday in favour of JoS, lol.  What a fucking brilliant video, and we've only seen the supercondensed 6:29 minute one!  I can't wait til they decide what to do with the full-length 14 minute version and we can see that, as well as the full song 9+ minute version

Need to spend some time writing today, as unenthusiastic as I feel about it.  I'm behind in my self-set deadlines.  Actually I'm pretty much behind in everything.  It's October 16th which means in 3 months the application deadline will have passed for the grad program I'm supposed to be looking at, and I haven't done anything; I'm not sure why, other than fear.  But I'm so tired of being afraid.  I'm just tired of everything.  Everything takes so long and I've already wasted so much of my life.  I feel like I'm at a big crossroads and every direction has a deep chasm waiting for me, and I'd be perfectly happy to take a leap of faith if I only knew which fucking way to go.

I'm home early - I took VTO that we were technically not supposed to be getting that early, but there was a general consensus that I look like death warmed over and I don't really feel much better. I'm not in pain. I guess the lingering effects of the valium and my body's general indignance at having bits cut out of it are the problem, lol. I can't focus worth a damn, which is not helped by the fact that the arm of my glasses snapped off this morning and is being held on by scotch tape. Plus, I've apparently hit the "weep when the wind blows" portion of my PMS cycle. *rolls eyes* All in all, it's been an intensely shitty day!

Anne, you are going to be kicking your own ass all over the place for deciding to nix the Warfield show altogether. Setlist is behind the cut, but they played for THREE FUCKING HOURS. All the way through American Idiot, plus an encore - same as the Wiltern, Longview & Minority, and then another hour and a half of old stuff, covers, teases - you name it, they fucking played it last night. WHY couldn't THAT have been the webcast show?????? arrrrggghhhh. And someone in the UK had better upload the JoS video, even if it's just the 6 minute edit, b/c ppl are having raptures and I want to see it!!!

I'd forgotten how much frustration frequently accompanies the fun of obsession, lol. Hee. But I don't care.

( Green Day Warfield setlistCollapse )

Dentist went fine, although I do miss the way my old dentist worked, i.e., put headphones on me and put me on nitrous oxide. They don't do nitrous oxide at my new clinic, so instead I took 2 valium-derivatives an hour beforehand and really, all they did was make me sleepy. Little more muscle-relaxed than usual but it didn't particularly calm me down at all. I have a couple left so I guess I'm prepared for the next time I'm suffering from insomnia though, lol.

Took 3 shots of novocaine to actually freeze me, but the actual extraction only took like 15 minutes after all that. And it's all gone normally afterwards, not even excessively painful thank God. It was hurting more beforehand than it is now. I do hate those dissolving stitches though; they don't dissolve evenly and they feel gross once they start. But w/e. Done, and I'm good, and going back to bed after tentatively brushing the rest of my teeth. lol

I made a mix CD of mostly lesser-known Green Day songs that I love; list is behind the cut.  If anyone's interested in recreating and is missing stuff, feel free to hit me up for it. :-)

( Mixed GreensCollapse )

Went to the dentist yesterday morning for x-rays and shit, and back this morning for a general cleaning.  And then I go back again next Thursday to have my back nasty molar yanked.  *lipquiver*  Nah, I've literally had trouble keeping that tooth clean since it first grew in b/c my jaw is small, and it was damaged a lot when my wisdom teeth came in sideways - its upper mate had to go b/c of that too and I don't miss it in the slightest.  The whole pain and spitting blood part isn't so fun, lol, but once it's all done and over with I'll be able to do a far better job of keeping the rest clean, so it's all good.  This was my first time at this dentist; I like him a lot.  He's very nice and has this extremely soothing manner.  The hygienist is a darling too; she is so sweet.  So while the hunt isn't over for a family doctor yet (I am not going back to the one my mom goes to, I really don't like her), I'm perfectly happy to stay there for dentistry.  Which is nice, or as nice as dentistry ever gets. ;-)

And I'm an idiot, b/c I've been so freaking tired all day - all week - and have been getting up so early to go pay people to prod me, lol, but here I am still at the computer.  Damn new BTS videos, lol.  I haven't even posted on the October thread for the "It's not over til you're underground Club" yet (the 30+ fans).  It's like starting out with the OTOs all over again.  How come the adults are way fucking chattier than the teenagers??????  LOL!

Oh, and my lurvely new icon is by tieduptootight.  It's from a photo in this month's SPIN. :D  The animation on my tea icon was beginning to annoy me - I prefer the static kind usually.  But that one is definitely a keeper.

We knew the hairspray was a bad bet from the disclaimer on the can, so we went with green greasepaint/face makeup mixed in some cheap hair gel to get green streaks in our hair today. Except we weren't entirely sure it would wash out immediately, lol, but fortunately it did, at least for me. The shade of green was on the unpleasant side but I kind of liked the weird look of it. My copper streaks have faded to background texture already; red shades do that. And if I got an unnatural shade it would NOT be green, lol. Pink or red probably, or maybe periwinkle blue...

Anyway, Cass looked awesome as Billie Joe, if overly blonde. ;-) It's slightly disconcerting but much more amusing to know that she was planning to put the whole fuck-me look to good use when she got home, LOL. She kills me. Christine was passable, but Mike's clothing is a lot less distinctive; it's mostly about how he himself looks, which is way hard to replicate, lol. I passed okay as Tré too, and at least in a suit jacket I was warm! Hee. I have to remember to unpin the bowtie from the lapel before I put it away.

Bah, I need to go to bed. Dentist tomorrow morning, oh joy. Hopefully it will go well and I won't be in pain anymore. That would be nice!!!