You know what's better than sex? A kickass conversation with a friend at a time when you really, really needed one. OMG such a good night. We had no trouble using our tickets and the show was amazing. There was even one dancer who had to be at least six months pregnant. She was in a group piece and they made concessions for her in terms of not doing any floor stuff, but did so in a way so that the other three formed a circle around her that felt like they were celebrating her. So awesome. The entire thing was awesome. I'm so glad I got to go! We went for coffee after with a work friend of K's, and after dropping her off, K and I sat in the car outside her building for over an hour and just talked. I feel ten thousand percent better for being able to do that, I really do.

Which brings up a related point. I'd actually started a post this afternoon but didn't have time to finish it before leaving, and my perspective's a little different now so I scratched it. But the gist of it was, I'm not well-equipped to stick to a reading hiatus. I'm just not. On a *normal* day I already feel like I'm walking in on the middle of a conversation a lot of the time for parts of my f-list. And what I consider important for me to know has a wider scope than I can reasonably expect anyone else to know or adhere to. Not spending time reading my f-list makes me feel not just out of the loop, but left out, lonely and ignored. Accurate and rational? Not so much. A little silly and dependent? Yeah, maybe. It doesn't help that I have a vague paranoia about being left behind stemming from various actual incidents where my friends shunted me aside in favour of someone cooler/prettier/more whatever, combined with some abandonment issues that I've posted about before. (Having made some real friends in the years since those people abandoned me basically en masse, I've come to the conclusion that I grew up with assholes. I mentioned that to my mother once. Her response? "Well, duh.") ANYWAY. I shall still be all sporadic and random and time-crunched - and undoubtedly bitching about same, or sharing odd nuggets of memory as weird shit I'd forgotten about pops up - but fuck the hiatus. I thought that sticking a name on it might help *me* feel okay about missing things but it is clearly not working that way, so I'll be allowing myself a chunk of time every day to semi keep up, because I need that for my own sanity. There's a reason I have nearly twice as many comments as posts: I'm a listener. Not that I don't need to talk because fuck, if tonight proved anything it's that oh God sometimes I need to run off at the mouth until I have no more words left, but my primary self-identification is as a listener. And how can I listen when nobody's talking to me?

(*snicker* Shuffle has just played along nicely...)

ETA: Also, I did something a bit different with my eye makeup and it turned out fantastic. That also makes me happy. Because sometimes, I am shallow. :D

^That's the name of the one-year anniversary Pink Velvet Burlesque show I went to last night (they also have a myspace). ( It was awesome. :DCollapse )

Wow, and that turned into a super-long ramble about loads of other stuff, too. O_o

First, the unadulterated fucking awesomeness part of today, which is entirely due to looking_spiffy. *flails* Dude. DUDE. I got mail! OMFG I canNOT believe you sent me that! As soon as I opened it I knew who it was from (who the fuck else would send me SKoMx2, right?!) and then, THEN I saw the note. Eeeeee! You should have heard me squeal. No joke. :D It was, well, really girly. *snickers* I'm keeping it forever. *covers you in kisses and LURVES* Thank you thank you thank you!

The low point is that my friend's bf broke up with her, which is made exponentially more problematic by the fact that she was living there. :-/ She's never been through a serious break-up before and obviously is a bit of a mess right now. She's at her mom's for the moment, and since she has to catch a ride into town with her mom she'll be way too early to work, so I'm going to meet up with her and take her for coffee (and bring kleenex). At 9 am. *winces* Oh, well. I'm currently feeling the urge to *strangle* him for the way he went about it. Grrrrr is all I'm going to say about that.

And then the all-over-the-place: I finally had a serious, rational (mostly) conversation with my mother and we cleared some air. I am actually feeling good on that front now, which is an excellent thing indeed. I don't know, maybe talking my friend through her tears for half an hour first settled me somehow, or made me more aware of the need for communication - perhaps it's just as simple as that. I know I'm not the best at communicating. I keep too many things to close to my chest. (Clearly, this is more of an in-person habit, lol. Although it applies online more than you'd think.) Anyway, the upshot is that we discussed things without either of us getting too horrifically upset and agreed on some changes on both sides. :-)

For anyone concerned, mockingbird39 did email me to let me know she's home safely. And we did have a wonderful time. There are no pictures to share, because Mel and I suck like that. I didn't even bother taking a pic of her at the airport this time since I have one of her at this particular airport already, and I'd forgotten the camera anyway, lol. Seriously, though, even when we both have cameras we end up saying adieu at the airport with unused film. Just one of those things! I will try to take some half-decent pix of my hair this week and post them. I've figured out how to make the style work: it needs to be messy. Like, really messy, which is taking some getting used to.

( Weekend with MelCollapse )

So that was my weekend. :D Bah and now I have to go back to work tomorrow. The only non-bright spot was that my friend has been fighting off being sick, like most ppl who haven't gotten it already, and she didn't feel up to coming out Friday with us so Mel didn't get to meet her. That's okay, though. Next time.