Doing wrong turns right [1/1] Pete/Patrick (or anyone)
Title: Doing wrong turns right
Pairing: Written as Pete/Patrick, (with a slight mention of Pete/Ashlee) but could be anyone.
Author:
synthvirus
Rating: PG
P.O.V.: first, Pete's
Disclaimer: Fake
Summary: Even though I know I can, I won't.
Word count: 600
Warnings: Nothing special. Kind of angsty.
Inspired by the
we_are_cities post posted at May 31st 2009.
I suck at titles, btw.
Written as Pete/Patrick, (with a slight mention of Pete/Ashlee) but could be anyone.
The telephone is ringing. It's piercing through the room and hurting my ears, but I'm not planning on taking it. I know it is you. I want to talk to you so bad, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Not now. I don't want to cry in front of you. Not again.
I'm feeling so alone. I know I just could pick up the phone and call you, asking you to come over, and you would come storming in my door before I had gotten to put it down.
I'm afraid though, because I know I'll destroy you. You don't believe me, or you just won't listen. It's the same, I'm pushing you away anyways.
~
I wrote today, for the very first time in six months.
For the very first time since I stopped thinking of calling you, stopped thinking of returning your calls and your desperate letters.
I wrote a note.
I put it on the top of my telephone.
'Don't call him,' it said. I was a selfish bastard. I needed you, but calling you was the same as killing you.
~
I plugged out my telephone today.
~
I started writing again today. Not just a silly note telling me what I should know not to do.
I wrote a letter.
To you.
After putting it in an envelope, I posted it. I think the fire got really happy for it. It gave me warmth at least, but not nearly as much warmth as your beautiful body could've given me.
~
Today I called you. I don't know where the note I wrote to myself went, but it certainly wasn't anywhere close to where I had put it three months ago.
"It's been nine months," you said. I nodded before I forgot you couldn't see me. "I've missed you, you know," he continued when I didn't say anything. "Why?"
I dropped the phone and turned around. I couldn't handle this.
~
I shouldn't have called now. After what I had done I should have picked up the phone and called the same day as I crushed our dreams and hopes of a happy future. Even though I knew you wouldn't answer me, I should have. And then I should have continued to try to call you until you picked it up and screamed at me and calling me everything I deserved to be called. I should have continued to do so until you only had been sitting at the other side of the line and crying silently. Then I should have come over to you and held around you until you had no more tears to cry. We should have screamed at each other again and made up.
But that would kill you, because there was no way you could trust me after what I had done.
You loved me too much to not come back to me.
~
Her baby cried (because it was hers, not mine) and woke me up from my thoughts. If it never had been born I had been with you.
"I hate you," I whispered into it's ear, crying my heart out to it.
I gave it more love than she ever would.
~
At the same time in a parallel universe I had done exactly what I should have done, only that I had done the right thing when I had done the wrong in the reality I lived in here.
The shadow that was you sat beside me, only that it was no longer you. The only thing that kept your body alive was your love at the same time as the love had killed you.
Pairing: Written as Pete/Patrick, (with a slight mention of Pete/Ashlee) but could be anyone.
Author:
synthvirusRating: PG
P.O.V.: first, Pete's
Disclaimer: Fake
Summary: Even though I know I can, I won't.
Word count: 600
Warnings: Nothing special. Kind of angsty.
Inspired by the
we_are_cities post posted at May 31st 2009.I suck at titles, btw.
Written as Pete/Patrick, (with a slight mention of Pete/Ashlee) but could be anyone.
The telephone is ringing. It's piercing through the room and hurting my ears, but I'm not planning on taking it. I know it is you. I want to talk to you so bad, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Not now. I don't want to cry in front of you. Not again.
I'm feeling so alone. I know I just could pick up the phone and call you, asking you to come over, and you would come storming in my door before I had gotten to put it down.
I'm afraid though, because I know I'll destroy you. You don't believe me, or you just won't listen. It's the same, I'm pushing you away anyways.
~
I wrote today, for the very first time in six months.
For the very first time since I stopped thinking of calling you, stopped thinking of returning your calls and your desperate letters.
I wrote a note.
I put it on the top of my telephone.
'Don't call him,' it said. I was a selfish bastard. I needed you, but calling you was the same as killing you.
~
I plugged out my telephone today.
~
I started writing again today. Not just a silly note telling me what I should know not to do.
I wrote a letter.
To you.
After putting it in an envelope, I posted it. I think the fire got really happy for it. It gave me warmth at least, but not nearly as much warmth as your beautiful body could've given me.
~
Today I called you. I don't know where the note I wrote to myself went, but it certainly wasn't anywhere close to where I had put it three months ago.
"It's been nine months," you said. I nodded before I forgot you couldn't see me. "I've missed you, you know," he continued when I didn't say anything. "Why?"
I dropped the phone and turned around. I couldn't handle this.
~
I shouldn't have called now. After what I had done I should have picked up the phone and called the same day as I crushed our dreams and hopes of a happy future. Even though I knew you wouldn't answer me, I should have. And then I should have continued to try to call you until you picked it up and screamed at me and calling me everything I deserved to be called. I should have continued to do so until you only had been sitting at the other side of the line and crying silently. Then I should have come over to you and held around you until you had no more tears to cry. We should have screamed at each other again and made up.
But that would kill you, because there was no way you could trust me after what I had done.
You loved me too much to not come back to me.
~
Her baby cried (because it was hers, not mine) and woke me up from my thoughts. If it never had been born I had been with you.
"I hate you," I whispered into it's ear, crying my heart out to it.
I gave it more love than she ever would.
~
At the same time in a parallel universe I had done exactly what I should have done, only that I had done the right thing when I had done the wrong in the reality I lived in here.
The shadow that was you sat beside me, only that it was no longer you. The only thing that kept your body alive was your love at the same time as the love had killed you.