#QuarantineThoughts Michael Marotta
It's weird that my cat doesn't know what Europe is. @vexedinthecity
Is cereal, technically, considered a breakfast soup? Sean Drinkwater
Are Burritos why we were put on this planet? Daniel Bernal
I've had a few ambitions. I think I found a new one. I just want to grow up to be Christopher Walken-ish. Lamont Price
Any time Fred Flinstone calls Barney "Barn" you know some shit's about TO GO …
1 I gave myself a new short, flippy haircut this weekend. I was going for Charlize Theron but it came out a little Elizabeth Warren. It'll grow out in a few months to look like what my friend Jenny calls my "real estate portrait." Maybe the next time I go short, I'll buzz one side. I always think I'll do that, but then I think about the in-between time, what's it like growing THAT out? Don't you look deranged for qu…
1 At the age of 50, I have discovered that my husband of 17 years is good at jigsaw puzzles. Like really good at jigsaw puzzles. I feel a little weird about it. I thought I was good at jigsaw puzzles. I am not, as it turns out, good at jigsaw puzzles. We may have tapped some hidden talent here. What if this is our ship finally coming in, because I can never do anything the normal way. Is there such a job as Competitive Jigsaw Puzzler Manager Wi…
When I watch the Celebrity Cruises commercial with the Jefferson Airplane song White Rabbit, I think: What is going on on Celebrity Cruises? That song is about an insane, balls-out acid trip. In the commercial, the woman on the Celebrity Cruise is drifting in and out of consciousness, passing out on a bed, seeing cruise employees appear from out of a cloud. She sniffs a plant at some point and the bartender YANKS it away from her...then puts it…
In my experience, older ladies (retired, grannies) are the ones who lose their minds when you use the word "cunt." Men and younger women (practical, busy surviving) don't even blink. So this one is for the ladies. My message is simply this: cunt happens. It just does, I'm sorry if you're offended, but what should offend you, ipso facto , is cunts—not the word used to talk about cunts. If I am talking about a cunt and I use …
BOSTON. You know that fine line between funny and sad? I know that guy. Tonight I went to "The Gas" at Great Scott. That is the weekly comedy hosted by Rob Crean. Rob is possibly the saddest funny guy that I know. I'm not saying all of his material arises from a place of depression or anxiety, but I can tell you that Rob's act helped lead me from the darkness over Robin Williams' death , even if Rob doesn't know he did …
Me 'n Joey love that one. I can't imagine why.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was a solid show. It was on during a dark period in my life when every TV show that I loved was getting canceled. I made a list at the time, it's probably in the old blog archives. Studio 60 was Aaron Sorkin's first project post- West Wing , so it had a lot of the Aaron Sorkin players, and the overall look of the show (cameras, lights, titles) was very West Wing . Studio 60 was funny and smart. So of course it …
Tig Notaro Boyish Girl Interrupted 🎅
"Small black coffee, please." "We don't have small, we only have medium." "...that's impossible." (blank stare) I tried again, "What's the smallest size? "We just have the one size."
"What is happening right now?" For a good three seconds I thought I was on a reality show. Like Hal Sparks was going to come out from the back and give one of his comedy lectures. Hal wrote this material …
It's my 47th birthday. As a Gen Xer with almost half a century of experience, I've come to some conclusions. Here are five things I'm pretty sure about. 1.Guitar Comedy
Hey Demitri, Birbigs, that guy, and that other guy. You know who you are. So, I've given it literally dozens of chances, but I'm afraid it's a no from me, dawg. I love you, but when you reach for that guitar, my brain goes, "Noooooooo!" You're…
Joe just finished explaining his place in his dorky history video game. Apparently the
King of Siam is threatening his borders. I said, "Maybe he's just
(breaking into song) getting to knooooow you, getting to know alllll
about youuuuu..."
...pause...
"Get it?"
"No, none of that made sense to me. Is it a joke?"
"Well in the musical 'The King and I' he's the King of Siam, and that's t…
Home Depot Thrilled!
Restaurant News for the Week Ending April 19, 2026
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Below are some of the biggest restaurant and food-related news stories that
have been posted between April 13, 2026, and April 19, 2026.
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