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How to Prove Anything
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Despite a very confusing email chain explaining what we were trying to study, we were finally allowed to use the National Birth Defects Prevention Study (NBDPS). When using the jazz detection protocols outlined in [16], we focused our analysis on 813 families who were interviewed in person.
Each patient was evaluated on the Brubeck Scale and additional buccal swab kits were used to collect saliva residue after we asked each participant to toot the jazziest they could into a special trombone as detailed in [16]. Of the 813 families, 127 were excluded. Some were excluded because they had to leave the interview halfway to catch a television show (n=9), more were deemed ineligible because their trombone toot wasn’t jazzy enough or produced an insufficient amount of saliva (n=23), and finally, most had to be removed from our results because we just couldn’t understand what they were saying (n=93). They may have been extremely jazzy, but there was no...
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