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How to Prove Anything
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How to Prove Anything
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Overview of this book
This book collects popular essays from the renowned Cranberry-Lemon University Press’s most illustrious scholars. Despite their questionable research methods, bizarre obsessions, personal vendettas, and often stunning lack of impartiality, the authors have irrefutably broken new ground academically. How to Prove Anything sheds new light on a wide range of topics.
Famed academics Dr. Tiffany Love and Dr. Chad Broman present a glimpse into their shared life via a series of papers that unravel the mysteries of modern romance. From time series analysis of mood swings to Pavlovian behavioral modification to sub-Nyquist sampling for balancing relationship attention with videogame performance, Chad and Tiffany find new and often startling uses for tried-and-true algorithms, gaining insights from which we can all benefit.
Can I avoid arguments by predicting moods with time series analysis? Can linear programming help us determine who should do the dishes? And, most pressingly of all… Can I fix him?
Academic writing has brought new knowledge into the world for hundreds of years. This book may be the most vital contribution of all. While some of the applications in this book may be niche even obscure reading will provide intellectual stimulation, spiritual enlightenment or, at the very least, some entertainment.
Table of Contents (33 chapters)
Preface
Dust, Heat, and Cumin: Low-Budget, Synthetic, Authentic Mexican Atmosphere Filter for Modern Cinema
Novel Gravity and Velocity-Based Time Dilation Methodology for Real-Time Bitcoin Payment Processing
Me and My Friend Found Where the Coolest Part in My Room Is Using the Heat Equation Because It Is REALLY, REALLY HOT OUTSIDE!
Me and My Friend Show That My Dad’s Airstream Trailer Goes Faster with Dints, and That We Shouldn’t Be Grounded for Hitting It with a Baseball Last Saturday
A Novel Method for the Safe and Effective Recycling of PFAS Plastics: A Black Hole Hawking Radiation Approach
Pink and Fire: Computational Fluid Dynamics Simulation Analysis of My Recent Gender Reveal Party Disaster
Congenital and Parent-of-Origin Prediction Factors and Risks of Baby Jazziness in American Live Births
Testicular Cancer Truck Nut Self-Examination for North American Pick-Ups: A Cost-Benefit Analysis
Log-Log-Likeliwood of Black Walnut in Random Forestry
Natural Log Exponential Log Growth Models in Hardwood Nurseries
The No-Regrets Waiting Model: A Multi-Armed Bandit Approach to Maximizing Tips
Who’s a Good Boy? A Metropolis-Hastings Approach to Determining Foster Dog Names of Unknown Origin
A Re-Examination of the Fermi Paradox: A Data and P(Doom)-Driven Markov Process Approach
Comparative Space-Saving Highway Interchange Design
Image Transfer Protocol Delivery Methods for Sending Pocket Rocket Pictures to Tinder Matches
Unlocking Human Behavior: A Feline Exploration of Vocalizations and Behavioral Variations for Optimal Wet Food Provision from the Servant Human Class
Yield Strength Comparative Load-Bearing Analysis of the Limited-Time Cheez-It Center-Webbed Crunchwrap Supreme
Novel Techniques for Hijacking Self-Driving Cars
On the Tardiness of Coworkers and How to Exploit It
Replying “Haha So True!” to Every Meme Your Friend Sends: An Experimental Study in Preserving Social Bonds with Minimum Effort
A Time-Series Analysis of My Girlfriend’s Mood Swings
Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop My Boyfriend from Replaying The Witcher 3
Sub-Nyquist Sampling While Listening to My Girlfriend
Who Should Do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution
Freudian Psychoanalysis of My Boyfriend’s Gun Collection
Breaking Up with Your Girlfriend But Not Your Friends: A Cyclic Graph Algorithm for Social Network Preservation
The Future of Romance: Novel Techniques for Replacing Your Boyfriend with Generative AI
Winning Tiffany Back: How to Defeat an AI Boyfriend
Would He Still Love Me as a Worm: Indirect Sampling and Inference Techniques for Romantic Assurance
Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery
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Index
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