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You keep doing the same things that hurt you over and over again and never seem to learn anything from it. That's why I linked that video analysis to you. Because you follow the same destructive cycle of behavior as the dude in that video. Remember how you'd keep playing Overwatch until you'd rage quit, only to do it all over again? You know where this pattern of behavior is also exhibited? Drug addicts. It's also an extremely well known fact at this point that the people responsible for making these games literally funded research into gambling addict just so they can ruthlessly exploit vulnerable people just like you.
You need help, but until you're willing to help yourself, none of that is going to work.
What I was trying to say is that the company GIGA is closing down next year and it plans to pull its games from stores. Baldr Sky, which is on your wishlist, is one of them.
While the Steam sale is over, the GOG sale isn't, and it's also available there. Same discount as usual, -50%.