@bixfrankonis’s statuslog

The noticeable uptick in the cognitive capacity required to bang my way through blog posts suggests that while I might not be fully recovered from months-long autistic burnout I’m probably technically out of the burnout period itself, so at least maybe 2026 has something going for it amidst all the carnage.

An hour on the phone with a disability lawyer filing for SSI leaves me feeling like I got beat up today and that’s without encountering any problems, so that’s how things continue to go over here.

Apparently in my case even without a visible hernia, I can’t even attempt to reach down to cut my toenails without instead just sobbing at the attempt out of just the fear of causing pain, so I look forward to tearing through the toes of all my socks and then my shoes, and all of this after a nervous wreck of a shower out of the same fear.

Fuck you, 2025.

The inguinal hernia is just a dull ache but the added stress while only just having started to claw my way out of autistic burnout makes it feel like my brain hurts just trying to exist.

On the one hand as of yesterday I have an inguinal hernia, but on the other hand today Krampus was hanging out in my neighborhood, and it doesn’t mean 2025 hasn’t been nearly total shit but at least it briefly broke the hellish routine.