Malcomh
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My life in a nutshell
My real father left my mom when I was 5 and I had a stepfather at 6 1/2. He was a tough grouchy man, ask Mike if you don’t believe me.
Going through grade school I was quiet and picked on by the bullies. When I changed schools for the first time I met Mike Long and Tim Mathis, who are my closest friends now, they both picked on me until I learned to stand up for myself. I will be grateful to them for the rest of my life for that.
Had a small group of friends that got together at Tom’s house. It is there where I met Leota Morris. I found where she had lived back then and rode my bicycle to her house, but I never had the nerve to visit. The friends tried to hook us together. I never knew why, but we never clicked and I went on with my life.
I then found a lady named Kari Hubler who astounded me one day during Career Center class, when during a break, she followed me into the mens room and pissed into a urinal. This made me very wanton of her but it was not meant to be and the summer after graduation she left town and I have never heard from her since.
A couple of years later a friend of mine invited me to his church and I met a couple of ladies. One wanted to be with me, but like an idiot I wanted the other one. Cathy Harlan was who I lost my virginity to and I feel now that I screwed up by not staying with her.
Cyndi Pendergrass was the one I wanted. This was my biggest mistake and the most hurt I have ever felt. I dated her for several months and she then moved in with her father who hated me and forbade me from seeing her. I guess it was because she was 14 and I was 21. After a couple of years we remet at the fair and I started dating her seriously. Her stepfather joked with us that we fucked like rabbits, that I would get on top and pump away until my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell over. If he really knew how close to the truth he was. I was really surprised that I never got her pregnant with all the unprotected sex we had. She left me after about a year to “have fun with others her age.” As she put it. I was so distraught that I had a loaded pistol to my head and almost pulled the trigger. I still don’t know why I’m still here.
I was so devastated by this that I didn’t even try to find someone for over 5 years.
Around this time I started hanging around with Daren Ingles and Randy Yoho, they needed someone of age to buy for them and I was willing to as to have some friends.
I then met Cyndi again. She was doing a 12 step program and asked me to forgive her. I did and I again became enamoured with her. I tore down the mental walls that I had made to help me hide the feelings I harbored. This made me physically sick and unable to eat for a couple of days. You can ask her if you see her. She was diagnosded with cervical cancer and I stayed with her during this time. All the while she was still seeing another man ocaisionaly Even though my mind screamed I was an idiot I refell in love with her. Again she just wanted my money and droped me when we got too close for her liking
During this time I met Jackie Sipotz and I tried to get her to like me but a drunk fool she didn’t want.
I then joined the Navy. I needed some time away. Even though we went to places where prostitution was legal I never partook. I was too busy trying to destroy my liver with booze.
After my service I came back and ran into Daren again. He had married and was living not far away. I was still drinking heavily and this made me and stepfather come to a head and I left home and moved in with my friend Mike. He had married to be able for his elderly parents to see their grandchildren, I was in a bar when my friend Randy Yoho said he needed someone to help him at his place with his kids because he was getting divorced and had 3 children. I offered to help and moved in with him.
During this time he tried to hook me up with a couple of his friends and they were shocked by my past and didn’t even try to get to know me. I can’t blame them.
Then while On a Drinking Team with a Bowling habbit, I ran across Kelly McConnel. I could never work up the nerve to ask her out and watched as she married an old frienimy.
Then Randy split up with a young lady named Gail Newcomer and like an idiot I hooked up with her and lived with her for awhile. When we split, I had enough of, “I got to help my mom and to hell with your family.” She was married within 6 mos after I left her, which just goes to show you how blind I am when it comes to others.
At that time randy’s daughter was three, she just went to college in 2010. Since her third birthday I was diagnosed with diabetes and haven’t even tried to find someone to be with.
This is my 16th year alone. I hate myself and my life. If not for my handful of friends and my great-niece and great-nephew I would already be dead. I used Randy’s kids as my crutch back then and now use my nephews to anchor me to my sanity.
This is being written during an extreme bout with depression. This is 100% true as I just finished it up at 4:30 am. Sunday Sept 4, 2011.
I have no reason to want to live normal life so I place my mind in cyberworld with a panthress that I can actually love.
My real father left my mom when I was 5 and I had a stepfather at 6 1/2. He was a tough grouchy man, ask Mike if you don’t believe me.
Going through grade school I was quiet and picked on by the bullies. When I changed schools for the first time I met Mike Long and Tim Mathis, who are my closest friends now, they both picked on me until I learned to stand up for myself. I will be grateful to them for the rest of my life for that.
Had a small group of friends that got together at Tom’s house. It is there where I met Leota Morris. I found where she had lived back then and rode my bicycle to her house, but I never had the nerve to visit. The friends tried to hook us together. I never knew why, but we never clicked and I went on with my life.
I then found a lady named Kari Hubler who astounded me one day during Career Center class, when during a break, she followed me into the mens room and pissed into a urinal. This made me very wanton of her but it was not meant to be and the summer after graduation she left town and I have never heard from her since.
A couple of years later a friend of mine invited me to his church and I met a couple of ladies. One wanted to be with me, but like an idiot I wanted the other one. Cathy Harlan was who I lost my virginity to and I feel now that I screwed up by not staying with her.
Cyndi Pendergrass was the one I wanted. This was my biggest mistake and the most hurt I have ever felt. I dated her for several months and she then moved in with her father who hated me and forbade me from seeing her. I guess it was because she was 14 and I was 21. After a couple of years we remet at the fair and I started dating her seriously. Her stepfather joked with us that we fucked like rabbits, that I would get on top and pump away until my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell over. If he really knew how close to the truth he was. I was really surprised that I never got her pregnant with all the unprotected sex we had. She left me after about a year to “have fun with others her age.” As she put it. I was so distraught that I had a loaded pistol to my head and almost pulled the trigger. I still don’t know why I’m still here.
I was so devastated by this that I didn’t even try to find someone for over 5 years.
Around this time I started hanging around with Daren Ingles and Randy Yoho, they needed someone of age to buy for them and I was willing to as to have some friends.
I then met Cyndi again. She was doing a 12 step program and asked me to forgive her. I did and I again became enamoured with her. I tore down the mental walls that I had made to help me hide the feelings I harbored. This made me physically sick and unable to eat for a couple of days. You can ask her if you see her. She was diagnosded with cervical cancer and I stayed with her during this time. All the while she was still seeing another man ocaisionaly Even though my mind screamed I was an idiot I refell in love with her. Again she just wanted my money and droped me when we got too close for her liking
During this time I met Jackie Sipotz and I tried to get her to like me but a drunk fool she didn’t want.
I then joined the Navy. I needed some time away. Even though we went to places where prostitution was legal I never partook. I was too busy trying to destroy my liver with booze.
After my service I came back and ran into Daren again. He had married and was living not far away. I was still drinking heavily and this made me and stepfather come to a head and I left home and moved in with my friend Mike. He had married to be able for his elderly parents to see their grandchildren, I was in a bar when my friend Randy Yoho said he needed someone to help him at his place with his kids because he was getting divorced and had 3 children. I offered to help and moved in with him.
During this time he tried to hook me up with a couple of his friends and they were shocked by my past and didn’t even try to get to know me. I can’t blame them.
Then while On a Drinking Team with a Bowling habbit, I ran across Kelly McConnel. I could never work up the nerve to ask her out and watched as she married an old frienimy.
Then Randy split up with a young lady named Gail Newcomer and like an idiot I hooked up with her and lived with her for awhile. When we split, I had enough of, “I got to help my mom and to hell with your family.” She was married within 6 mos after I left her, which just goes to show you how blind I am when it comes to others.
At that time randy’s daughter was three, she just went to college in 2010. Since her third birthday I was diagnosed with diabetes and haven’t even tried to find someone to be with.
This is my 16th year alone. I hate myself and my life. If not for my handful of friends and my great-niece and great-nephew I would already be dead. I used Randy’s kids as my crutch back then and now use my nephews to anchor me to my sanity.
This is being written during an extreme bout with depression. This is 100% true as I just finished it up at 4:30 am. Sunday Sept 4, 2011.
I have no reason to want to live normal life so I place my mind in cyberworld with a panthress that I can actually love.