In the last cage area of a kennel is a German Shepherd Doberman Pinscher sits looking at the gate before him. His ears perk up to the sound of the door on the other end of the passage way, foot steps, and voices are heard.  As the foot steps and voices are becoming louder, he becomes a little antsy and shifting as he sits.  The foot steps and voices still growing louder as his tail starts to slowly wag behind him.  Soon the sight of a staff member comes into view as he would stand up, tail wagging behind him as a potentinal companion follows the staff member coming into view.

He listens to the staff member's words, words he has heard countless times to this point, of "He is a good dog," "He is very kind and sweet," "He is attentive," "He is loyal and obediant, "Overall he is a good boy."  He remains standing his eyes fixated on the potential companion as his tail wags behind him waiting to see what this potential companion would do; normally it has been one of three actions:

1. After looking him over and just watching him, they would reply that he is not what they are looking for.
2. They may kneel down and slip their fingers through the chain link fence on the gate.  To that he would near the gate to lick at their fingers as they would rub his muzzle some, touch his nose.  They would pull their fingers back and stand up as he circles where he stands and looks at them. They would reply he seems nice but not what they are looking for.
3. They would ask if they could go in the areas with him.  Staff would go to open the gate as he would act.  He backs away from the gate and would then sit down and waits.  Once they come in he would either wait for them to come over to him or call him over.  Either way he would start to receive pets and rubs as he then shows his affection and eagerness as he would stand up, try to lick at their face or hand, turning to rub his body against their, playfully growls and barks to show he is friendly.  Once they are done he would sit back down to look up at them.  He would watch as they leave the area, the gate is closed, and their reply of you are right he is a good boy, but just not for me.

After the staff member and potential companion would then walk away back to the door as he is again left alone.  Blinking slowly as he tries to comprehend what he did wrong as the door closing sound would reach his ears and then they would go down and his tail stops wagging to lay still behind him.

By now, one would think he would stop trying to get his hopes and expectations up to the sound of the door opening.  Everytime it would end one of those three ways, but within his heart a very small feeling of hope lives.  That hope grows knowing when someone new or familiar may be coming, a chance for companionship; only for it to be doused and diminished as feelings of emptiness, loneliness, sadness, anger, and envey would grow and live their in his heart. being, and idle thoughts. 

In the past he has watch as others have found the warmth and joy of companionship; he would copy and mimic the behaviors of those it worked for.  For him, the results would be the opposite like disgust, hate, anger, etc. leaving him at a lost.  Why did those behaviors gain companions and friends work for them, but him performing such behavior and actions receive negative emotions towards or for himself to be ignored, dismissed.

His own sense of self worth and value comes into question.  Many continue to use the nice and kind words to describe him, but their action continue to speak louder.  Are those words all lies, meaningless, just pity towards him.  

Those familiar and new who may have come to see him and interact with him in one of those three way, he wonders what joy, happiness, entertainment, or non have they gotten from him.  What did he do wrong to be dismissed?  How often can he be told to just be happy by an individual who will then ignore him?  How long must he continue to keep the facade of sense of happiness and friendliness for fear of showing off the sadness/emptiness or anger he feels.  The times that facade has broken and he snaps out in anger as to why for no one to answer; the times that facade has broken as tears run down his cheeks as the cold emptiness within his chest envelops his being for him to feel ashamed and judged.  He will have his breakdowns in private so he can use his energy to maintain his facade.

He wishes he could just give up hope, but that small glint of hope continues to live in his heart for it to ignite when that familiar individual of new individual comes only for the cycle to continue.