Chapter 20: Coming to Terms With Yourself is Often the Hardest Thing One Can Do, But it Can Also Be the Most Freeing. -Rin Fellows

Jason lay on the padded table. There was the sterile tang of some strong cleaning spray that hung thick in the air. He winced as Dr. Marsh's paws pressed along his bruised ribs. The otter's face was emotionless as he continued poking and prodding. 

When Dr.Marsh was satisfied nothing was broken, he sat back and pulled out a small flashlight from one of his pockets. Then the otter let out a gruff grunt as he checked Jason's pupils with the penlight. Jason found it hard to focus. The overhead fluorescents buzzed, and the muted roar of the stadium seeped through the cinder block walls. It was a distant reminder that life outside was still moving forward without him.

Jason blinked as he tried to recall something Dr Marsh had just asked him to do, but his mind kept circling back to Bryan. The way Bryan's ears had trembled, the look in his eyes before he'd fled the room, the way his lips had felt against Jason's own, even if only for a moment. Jason replayed every word he'd tried to say. His apology that had come out jagged and raw, too much and not enough, all at once.

“Follow my finger, Jason," Dr. Marsh said again, holding up a gloved paw. Jason half-heartedly tracked the movement with his eyes, but his thoughts still lagged behind. Another sound from outside the room, cheers, made his ears flick. He didn't care about the game at the moment. It didn't seem important who was winning or who was losing now that he wasn't there. He barely even cared about the dull ache in his ribs or the faint ringing in his ears. He especially didn't care about Dr.Marsh's tests.

“Jason? You with me?" Dr. Marsh's voice was gentle but insistent.

“Yeah, sorry," Jason mumbled, blinking hard. “Just…distracted."

The otter gave him a look, half concern, half exasperation. “I need you to focus for a minute. Squeeze my paw." Jason did, but not as firmly as he could have. “Other paw." Jason complied, slower this time.

Dr. Marsh sighed, turning and grabbing a clipboard from a nearby desk. The otter scribbled some notes on it before setting it back down. “You're not concussed enough to be this out of it. What's going on?"

Jason hesitated, then blurted out everything, “How do you fix things with someone when you've screwed up so badly they can barely look at you?"

Dr. Marsh blinked, taken aback, and then let out a tired, knowing laugh. “I'm not that kind of doctor, kid."

Jason's ears drooped, embarrassment coloring his cheeks beneath his fur. “Yeah. Sorry. Just…forget it."

The older otter looked uncomfortable for a moment before sighing. “Look, I don't know the details, but if you hurt someone, you apologize. You give them space. And you show them, over time, that you mean it. That's all anyone can do." The otter reached out a paw towards Jason, hesitated a moment, and then patted Jason's shoulder.

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open. Derek, Mike, and three other players barreled in, their voices echoing off the walls. Derek was the first to reach Jason, leaping onto the bed and wrapping him in a hug that sent a fresh jolt of pain through his battered ribs.

“Careful!" Dr. Marsh barked as he leapt up to his feet, trying to maintain order, but the players barely registered his protest.

“We did it!" Mike shouted, his grin wide enough to split his muzzle. “We fucking won, man!"

Jason stared at them, stunned, as if he hadn't heard right. “Wait—what? We won?"

Derek was practically vibrating with excitement. “After you went down, that buck got ejected—refs finally grew a pair. Peterson slipped through on a sweep, and we scored! We beat the goddamn Dragons! Reigning champs, man! You should've seen it!"

Mike thumped Jason on the back, gentler this time. “Whole stadium went wild. The whole line was chanting your name, dude."

Jason felt a strange, floating sensation—pride, disbelief, regret all tangled together. “I…I can't believe it."

Dr. Marsh cleared his throat, trying to regain control of the room. “Alright, alright, that's enough! He needs to rest. Out, all of you! There'll be plenty of time to celebrate later."

The players groaned, but a few began to file out, still buzzing with adrenaline. Mike lingered, glancing at Jason's faraway look.

“You good, man?" Mike asked, concern flickering in his eyes.

Jason hesitated, then shook his head. “Not really. It's Bryan. I keep screwing up— first… and just now... I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know if I can."

Derek paused next to Mike, suddenly looking awkward as he scratched the back of his neck. “Look, I'm not great at this stuff. But if it was me, and it was a chick, I'd just…buy her something. Flowers, maybe. Or, I dunno, write something. Girls like that shit."

Mike rolled his eyes. “It's not any different, Derek. And, don't do that. You just gotta show him you want it to work. Words are easy. It's what you do after that's hard."

Jason stared at the ceiling, the weight of their words settling over him. “I just…when I saw him, I panicked. I wanted to say everything, and it all came out wrong. I kissed him and he—he just looked so scared. Fuck."

Derek scrunched up his face as he looked over at Mike for an assist. The brown bear gave Derek a deadpan look and slowly shook his head.

Derek let out a sigh. “ Look, it's obvious it's important to you, man. Just stop freaking out. You can't control how sh… how he feels. Just don't give up."

Mike nodded. “You're stubborn as hell, Jason. Use that for something good for once."

Dr. Marsh returned and started shooing Derek and Mike toward the door. “Alright, you heard me, gentlemen. That's enough. Out. He needs to rest. Leave or I'll have Coach run you all until you puke."

Mike grinned as he and Derek headed back toward the door. “We'll go grab your shit and get you back to your place. Give us a few to shower."

Derek paused at the door. “Don't let Coach see you being a little crybaby, alright? He'll make us all run laps for that, too."

Jason managed an eye roll as he flipped Derek off. The tiger's grin was all teeth, having gotten the reaction he was after. As the door closed behind them, the room felt impossibly quiet after the chaos. The muffled stadium noise once again became a distant rumble.

Jason lay back, staring at the ceiling, replaying the evening. Every word, every play, every look. He thought about what he wanted. He thought about his family and his scholarship. He wondered if Bryan would ever forgive him, if he even deserved it.

Dr. Marsh finished jotting notes on his chart, then set the clipboard aside. “You're lucky, you know. Seems like a lot of people care about you out there."

Jason huffed.

The otter studied him for a moment. “You need anything? Water? Painkillers?"

Jason shook his head. “No, thanks. I just…need time to think."

Dr. Marsh nodded, standing up from his desk. “Alright then, rest up. And don't do anything stupid."

As the otter left the room, Jason let his thoughts spiral. He remembered the first time he'd met Bryan. They were forced into being reluctant roommates. Jason was awkward, defensive, so sure the world was out to get him. It wasn't till later that Jason learned that Bryan had felt the same way. Yet Bryan had opened up while Jason remained stubbornly closed off. Bryan had been there for Jason when no one else was. As Jason withdrew into himself, Bryan kept fighting to be better - to reach out.

Jason remembered late nights in the dorm, arguing about movies, the way Bryan's laugh would fill the room. He remembered being frustrated as he struggled with accounting and Bryan's gentle and calm presence as the rabbit explained things over and over again. Jason remembered every mistake, every moment he'd chosen fear over honesty.

Jason closed his eyes and waited— for sleep, for Dr. Marsh, for Derek and Mike. It didn't matter. He couldn't change anything right then and there. No matter how much he wanted things to be different, they weren't. If he focused too hard on it, the feelings felt like they might overwhelm him. So instead of getting angry about it, he waited for whatever came next.

Maybe fifteen, maybe twenty, or so minutes later, Mike and Derek returned to the office after changing and showering. Their arms were full of Jason's duffel bag, shoes, and a wad of tangled clothes. Jason opened his eyes and looked around for his gear.

Mike cleared his throat," Lookin' for your pads? No worries, man. We grabbed it earlier. Tossed it in your locker."

Jason nodded, “Thanks…"

Derek's hair was still damp, and Mike's jersey looked like it had barely survived whatever celebration was probably happening in the locker room. Dr. Marsh walked in with them, a gauze pad in his paws. The otter walked up to Jason and placed it over the bridge of Jason's nose. It smelled of mint and gave him a cool tingling sensation that creeped up his muzzle.

“Should keep your sinuses from swelling closed tonight. Wear it, even after you shower, and check in with me in the morning. Got it?" The otter said.

Jason nodded again.

Dr. Marsh glanced up at the two football players, his expression stern. “He's not cleared for any parties, and he's definitely not cleared for drinking. Straight back to your room, Whilmeton. You need rest—doctor's orders. I'm serious."

Derek grinned, trying to play it off. “C'mon, Doc, just a little party? We gotta celebrate…."

Dr. Marsh's glare could have melted steel. “Don't test me on this, son."

Mike raised his paws in surrender, his face split by a wide grin. “No worries, Doc. We're bringing him straight back to his room. No detours, promise."

Jason tried to sit up, but Mike was already at his side, steadying him. “Easy, man. Let us do some of the heavy lifting."

Derek slung Jason's bag over his shoulder and held the door open. “Aight, fine. Let's get you home, fields."

The three took their time walking back to Jason's dorm, Mike and Derek flanking Jason like bodyguards. The stadium was still emptying out, and several groups of people broke out into cheers and congratulatory shouts as Jason, Derek, and Mike made their way into the parking lot. Every few steps, Derek cracked a joke about the game or the look on Coach's face when Peterson scored the winning touchdown. While Mike kept a steadying paw on Jason's back, making sure he didn't stumble.

When they finally reached Jason's room, Derek dumped Jason's gear on the floor and started rummaging in the wolf's unorganized closet for clean clothes. Mike pulled back the covers on Jason's bed, then helped Jason sit down despite Jason's protests that he was fine.

“You want us to stick around?" Mike asked cautiously as Jason settled in. “We can hang out, make sure you're alright."

Jason shook his head, already feeling the exhaustion beginning to settle into his stiffening muscles. “No, really. You guys should go. Go to the party. Celebrate. I just… I need some quiet."

Derek hesitated, glancing at Mike. “You sure, dude? We can stay, order pizza, hang out."

Jason managed a tired smile. “I'll be fine. Seriously. You two deserve it. I just want to sleep."

Mike looked unconvinced as Derek slapped the bear on his injured shoulder. The tiger flinched back as Mike grimaced. 

“Ah shit, sorry. Forgot." Derek said.

Mike grumbled something under his breath as Derek awkwardly shrugged and looked back at Jason before continuing, “Look, if you need anything— text us. Even if it's just to tell us we're idiots." 

“Yeah, even if it's to tell Derek he's an idiot…," Mike added as the two turned and headed toward the door. The bear waved to Jason as he slowly closed the door behind them.

Jason watched them go, letting out a sigh of relief as the door clicked shut. The silence that followed was heavy, but not unwelcome. After a moment or two, Jason stood and stripped down to his boxers, grabbed his towel and bathroom kit, and walked to the dorm showers. He stepped into one of the many open alcoves, pulled the curtain, and let the water wash away the sweat and grime from the game. The heat and steam slowly soothing his aching muscles. 

Jason stayed there for a long time, eyes closed, head bowed, letting the water run over him as the steam filled the little shower alcove. Once he had finished washing, Jason turned the shower off and stood there as the water dripped from his fur. He leaned forward and pressed his head against the tiles of the wall, closing his eyes. He hated the tightness he felt in his chest. He hated the sense of dread that threatened to overwhelm him. He had won, hadn't he? What else could he do to stop feeling like he wasn't in control? Why did it feel like there wasn't enough air?

Jason took and let out several deep breaths as he tried to focus on his surroundings. The drip of water from the faucet. The humidity in the air. The smell of the soap, lilac. Students walking out in the hallway. Jason counted each breath in and each breath out.

When he had managed to get himself under control, Jason dried off, put on some fresh boxers, and headed back to his empty room. Once he got there, he crawled into bed and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Everything was good, everything was alright, everything was….okay? Wasn't it?

With a start, Jason remembered he promised Ethan he'd text him after the game. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that Jason had nearly forgotten. He reached over and grabbed his phone from his nightstand, grunting as his sides protested the motion. Then Jason swiped open his messages and sent a text to his brother. He waited a few minutes and didn't get a reply. That probably meant that Ethan was in the air. 

Jason's that mb hovered over the screen. It would be so easy to shoot out a message. To reach out and say something, anything. A few swipes of his fingers. Jason put his cell phone back down on the nightstand and rolled over onto his side.

Now that he was clean and lying down, he felt exhausted. Jason reached blindly for his headphones, finding them next to his pillow and slipping them over his ears before closing his eyes. As he turned them on, a familiar feminine voice announced, “Battery low," then, “Powering off." Jason let out a small laugh as he took the headphones off and tossed them aside. 

“You and me both," Jason mumbled.

The last thing Jaspn did before passing out was pull the covers over his shoulders. Tomorrow was his student board review meeting. They would decide if he could stay enrolled in his classes or if he'd be expelled. They would decide if he could keep his scholarship. Did it matter what he said or did now? Had they already come to their decision? Jason tried to play out what was going to happen. He could have spent all night thinking about it. But luckily, as he lay there, exhaustion claimed him and he drifted off to sleep.

A few floors away, Bryan sat curled up on Dreo and Toby's couch, his head resting on his knees. The apartment was dim, the only light coming from a lamp on Dreo's end table. Dreo and Toby were having a hushed argument out in the hallway. They stepped out pretending to go to the cafeteria for drinks. Now, Bryan was pretending that the walls and doors weren't paper-thin.

“I'm just saying, maybe dragging him to the game wasn't the best idea," Dreo whispered.

Toby let out a muffled scoff. “Again? Come on! He needed to get out and see that life goes on."

“Yeah, but you saw him, Toby. He hasn't said a word since we got back."

“And why's that? You didn't say what happened!"

“Shhhhhh…"

Bryan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out their voices. He threw himself down onto the couch. The rough fabric scratched against his cheek as he pressed his face deeper into the cushions. Every time Bryan closed his eyes, he saw Jason again: the wolf's body crumpled on the field, the sickening crack of the hit, the way his head had lolled limply as the medics rushed him away. Bryan's paws dug into one of the couch cushions, claws pricking through the fabric. He was okay. He's—

“—Look, I'm not having this argument with you." Toby hissed, his pacing footsteps punctuating each word.

Dreo's reply was quieter, strained. “He didn't need to see that. To know Jason was… You know." There was a pause and hushed whispers.

“Oh, come on," Toby snapped. “You are not his mother. Stop coddling him. He's a grown rabbit, Dreo!"

Bryan's ears twitched. A little tension? His chest tightened as the memory surged again—Jason's blood on the towel, the way the wolf's eyes had bore into him. He bit down hard on his lip to stifle a sound.

“It's not that simple," Dreo shot back. “After everything with the harassment complaint, the rumors—you think he's just going to waltz back into Jason's life because you think it's time?"

“I think he's wasting a perfectly good love story moping on our couch!" Toby's voice climbed, his drama-major projection filling the tiny dorm room. “Honestly, if this were one of my plays, I'd have them kiss in the rain by now and—!"

“Enough!" Bryan's head snapped up, his voice cracking like a whip. The voices out in the hallway abruptly stopped. Bryan glared at the door to the room as it slowly opened. Dreo and Toby tentatively stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

Bryan shot them a glare. “I can hear everything, you know. I'm right here."

Toby had the decency to look sheepish, his cheeks slightly flushing pink. “Well, you're the one sitting there like a silent extra! At least react or something. Throw a pillow. Yell. Anything!"

Dreo rubbed his temples, his tail lashing. “Toby, for god's sake—"

“No, he's right." Bryan's laugh was hollow. He uncurled slightly and sat up, his joints protesting as he leaned back against the cushions. “Let's just… get this over with. What's the verdict? Am I a coward for leaving? A fool for caring? Or just pathetic for—"

“Bryan." Dreo walked over, and his paw landed gently on Bryan's shoulder. The oncilla's eyes were soft, worried. “We're not judging you. We just.. I know it's a lot. Can you just tell us what happened?"

Toby plopped down on Bryan's other side, the couch creaking under his weight. “Yeah, spill it. What happened after you ditched us? Did Loverboy serenade you? Recite poetry? Pull a 'you complete me'?"

Bryan stared at his paws. His ears felt too hot, and he felt uncomfortable. There was a distant bass of someone's stereo downstairs. Thump. Thump. Thump. Like a heartbeat.

“I… I went to find him," Bryan began, voice barely above a whisper. Dreo's paw tightened on his shoulder. “They'd just… they'd just gotten his pads off. His nose was bleeding. Not a lot, but… but he looked…" Bryan swallowed. “Small. Which is stupid, because he's, he's Jason, but—he looked small."

Toby leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “And then?"

“Then he woke up." Bryan's throat closed. He focused on his paws. “The medic used one of those… those ammonia things. He jerked awake, panicking, and I—I just stood there. Frozen. Like an idiot."

Dreo's claws retracted, his voice careful. “Okay, then what?"

“He asked why I was there." Bryan's laugh was bitter. “Like I hadn't spent weeks avoiding him. Like I hadn't…" He trailed off, claws digging into the couch fabric. “Then he—he apologized. For everything. The rumors, the committee hearing, all of it. Said he… he loved me."

Toby's mouth fell open. “He what?! Hell yeah, girl!"

“Toby!" Dreo hissed.

“Oh, don't 'Toby' me!" The dalmatian waved a frantic paw. “The guy drops a love bomb after regaining consciousness, and you're just—!" He whirled on Bryan, eyes wide. “Please tell me you didn't run again." Then Toby sighed, “Who am I kidding, of course you ran again."

Bryan hunched inward, the redness in his ears spreading to his cheeks. “I didn't… I mean, I tried to leave, but he stopped me and—he kissed me. It was… it was a mess."

Toby threw his paws up. “Sweet Lion Christ, Bryan! That's your cue! That's the moment! You swoop in, you cradle his battered face, you say 'I've always loved you too'—!"

“Toby." Dreo's voice cut through, sharp. The Oncilla looked livid.  “This is not a rom-com. Jason lied about him. Got him nearly expelled. You don't just… forget that."

“No, you listen here! He's gotten out of trouble, he has a boy crazy mad about him, and yet he's still acting like a toddler who isn't happy with his teddy bear." Toby protested as he turned toward Bryan. “What— the hell are you waiting for!"

“It's not that simple!" Bryan's shout startled even himself. He shot to his feet, paws trembling. “You think I don't want to believe him? You think I haven't been lying awake every night wishing things were different? But what happens when the next rumor starts? When Jason gets scared and pushes me away again? I can't—" His voice broke. “I can't do that again."

The room fell silent. Dreo hesitated, and Toby's tail drooped. Somewhere down the hall, a door slammed, and the faint sound of celebratory cheers drifted through the walls—Centaurs! Centaurs!

Bryan sank back onto the couch, drained. “I just… I need time. To think. To breathe."

Toby opened his mouth, but Dreo shook his head sharply. The oncilla reached for Bryan's paw, his voice gentle. “You've got time. We're not going any—"

“Pfft," Toby waved his paw and got up, heading over to his bed.

Dreo grumbled something under his breath but tried to remain his usual calm self. “Anywhere…"

Bryan looked between his two friends and let out a long, shaky breath, grateful for the reprieve as he sat back down. Dreo squeezed his paw once, then stood and padded quietly to his bed. Toby, for once, didn't break the silence that settled over the room. He just gave Bryan a look—half concern, half challenge—before leaving the rabbit alone. 

The apartment settled into a hush broken only by the noises from outside. Bryan curled up on the couch, pulling a blanket over his shoulders. He listened to the soft sounds of Dreo and Toby readying for bed—the two changing clothes, the muted zip of a bag, the faint click of a phone charger. He tried to focus on those mundane noises, anything to drown out the swirl of thoughts in his head.

As time passed, Toby started snoring, a gentle, rhythmic sound that was normally annoyingly comical. Just not tonight. Tonight, Bryan found himself counting the dalmatian's breaths, comforted by the presence of others, letting the repetition lull him. When he was younger, Bryan always wanted a room to himself. Now that he had the option, he found that he hated being alone. 

Across the room, Dreo's breathing was softer, the occasional rustle of his tail against the sheets the only sign the oncilla was even there. Bryan was glad he had met the two. He was glad he had met the entire pride club. He didn't realize how longly he had been till he had opened himself up and let his new friends into his life. He hadn't realized how much baggage he had been carrying from high school until he let Jason into his life.... 

And there it was. The inevitable mental loop that led him back to Jason. The wolf, quite literally, of his dreams. Dreams and hopes that Bryan had locked away. Every time Bryan thought about opening that door, he remembered being outed in high school. Bryan remembered being called names and being pushed down. He remembered Jason standing over him and offering him a hand up. He remembered Jason's arms wrapped around him like Bryan was the only person in the world. 

The pain he felt in his chest hurt so much because what he had felt had meant so much. But why? Because--- because he loved Jason. Bryan thought he knew what love was, but being described something and experiencing it are two different things. He loved Jason, and those we love, we give the ability to hurt us the most. That thread, that connection, was still there. Bryan felt it in his chest, in his throat, every time he thought about Jason. But it was frayed. Bryan thought it snapped and was gone forever, but here it was. A brittle, thin thing pulled taut. A thin tightrope heading out into the unknown. Was he brave enough to try and walk it? Bryan's mind continued to race, but eventually he drifted off to sleep.

Morning came all too soon, sunlight creeping through the blinds and illuminating the dorm room. Bryan sat up slowly, yawning and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Dreo was already gone. The oncilla was a habitually early riser. Bryan figured he was probably at an early class meetup or out to fetch coffee. Meanwhile, Toby was sprawled on his bed. One of the dalmatian's legs dangling off the side, sleeping mask crooked as he drooled onto his pillow.

At the same time, across campus, Jason sat alone in the waiting area outside the student board's meeting room. The space was exactly as the wolf had remembered it. The walls were painted a bland, institutional beige, and the only sound was the ticking of a cheap clock hanging on the wall. Jason stared down at his paws, turning them over and over, claws digging into his palms. He remembered the last time he'd been here. He remembered pushing through that door in front of him, breathless, desperate to set the record straight for Bryan. Now he was the one waiting to be judged.

He wondered if this was how Bryan had felt: small, exposed, alone. The guilt gnawed at him, sharper than the ache he still felt from his still stiff muscles. Jason tried to focus on his breathing as the seconds ticked by. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Jason took it out and looked at the screen.

"You got this bro!!!"

The text from his brother Ethan brought a moment of relief. The two had spoken earlier this morning. The older wolf statically congratulated Jason on the game the previous day. Ethan then talked about the guy he had met in Central City. That was something Jason and Ethan did now, talk. And not just talk--- but talk about guys and life. The witty banter made Jason smile. He really did miss his brother, and having him back in his life was the one silver lining to this entire ordeal. 

Jason set his jaw and scrolled down to an old message thread with Bryan.

"Hey." Delete.

"Hi, how's it going?" Delete.

"Just wanted to talk." Delete.

Jason let out a huff and pocketed his phone again. There were things he wanted to say, but he still didn't know how to say them. As Jason contemplated this, the door across from him clicked and then creaked open. 

“Mr. Whilmeton?" an elderly badger asked as she stepped out from behind the conference room door.

Jason stood, took a deep breath, and followed the badger that had emerged back into the room. As Jason stepped in and looked around, there were the same faces he remembered from before: Mrs. Ringwood, her expression unreadable; Coach Martinez, jaw set and eyes cold; the badger English professor, and two other professors Jason didn't know. They all watched him quietly as he took a seat across from them.

The silence didn't last long before Mrs. Ringtail cleared her throat.

“Mr. Whilmeton. We're here to review your recent conduct concerning the sexual harassment claims against Bryan Bramblebush. Do you have any questions before we begin?"

Jason Steeled his resolve and slowly shook his head. “No, ma'am."

Then the questions started, each one precise and clinical. “Mr. Whilmeton, can you explain your actions regarding the complaint filed against Mr. Bramblebush?" “What was your relationship with Mr. Bramblebush at the time?" “Were you coerced in any way to file the accusation?"

Jason answered honestly, voice steady despite the tremor in his paws. He didn't hide anything—not his fear, not his confusion, not his regret. He told the committee about Jessica, about the pressure he felt, about how he'd let things spiral because he was too scared to tell the truth.

“Do you understand the impact your actions had on Mr. Bramblebush?" Mrs. Ringwood asked, her gaze piercing.

Jason nodded, swallowing hard. “Yes, ma'am. I do. I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. All I can do is own it now."

There was a long silence as the committee members exchanged glances. Coach Martinez's jaw worked, but he said nothing.

Back across campus at the dorms, Bryan sat cross-legged on Toby's bed, a wide-toothed brush in his paw, rhythmically running it through the dalmation's spotted fur. Sunlight filtered through the blinds, catching on the swirling motes of dust and reflecting the glossy sheen of Toby's meticulously maintained coat.

Toby was speaking, oblivious to Bryan's inner thoughts. “So, I'm just saying, Bryan, if you ever want to turn heads, you have to think about layering. Scarves are back in. Trust me, it works. I've already turned a few myself. Don't even get me started on that new foreign exchange student in my design class. Absolute dreamboat. Shame he's not gay—yet." Toby's nose wrinkled in thought. Then the dalmation smirked as his tail flicked with amusement.

Bryan rolled his eyes, dodging the dalmation tail and pausing in his brushing. “ I used to be concerned that you would think of him only as an accessory, but to be honest, you say that about every new guy you meet. So I don't really know what to think anymore... And if you don't stop moving, I'm going to miss a spot."

Toby craned his neck, fixing Bryan with a mock-serious glare. “First of all, two hundred brushes, Bryan. Every--- day---. That's the secret to a perfect coat. You want to look like you've just stepped off a runway, don't you? Second, we don't all have star athletes throwing themselves at our feet. Some of us have to play the field."

Bryan grumbled, but resumed brushing, counting under his breath. “My own coat's never been shinier since I started bunking with you and Dreo. I swear, you two are going to turn me into a walking shampoo commercial… and he's not throwing himself at my feet."

Toby preened, stretching. “Pfft, yeah okay girl. You know what they say about denial. Anyways, you're welcome! Honestly, you should be thanking me. I'm saving you from a lifetime of dull fur mediocrity!"

Bryan snorted, but there was a faint smile on his lips. For some reason, talking about Jason was easier when it was mixed with Toby's over-the-top personality. It also helped that their brush routine was comforting, a strange little ritual that had become a staple of their mornings. Bryan lost himself in the repetitive motion, the soft sound of bristles through fur, and Toby's endless stream of gossip.

A sudden knock at the door jolted both of them out of their reverie. Toby twisted around, ears perked. “Were you expecting anyone? Dreo's off with Chase, and I didn't order breakfast."

Bryan shook his head, setting the brush aside. “Not unless the universe is about to drop another disaster in my lap."

Toby hopped off the bed, throwing a shawl over his bear shoulders as he strutted to the door in his shorts. He cracked it open, his whole body radiating suspicion. “If you're here to sell us something, we're broke and avoiding gluten."

Standing in the hallway, looking as out of place as a bull at a ballet recital, was Derek. The tiger shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, one paw shoved deep into his jacket pocket.

Toby's eyes narrowed. “Oh, if it isn't tall, dumb, and handsome. What do you want, stripes?"

Derek's brow creased as he cleared his throat, glancing past Toby into the room. “Oh good, I knew you guys were somewhere on this floor…"

Toby raised an eyebrow, realizing the tiger must have tried numerous other doors before finding their room, “Uh-huh, excellent deductive reasoning. And you want?"

“Uh... look, I'm not here to start anything. I just… I wanted to talk to Bryan." Derek said, raising his paws and taking a step back.

Toby cracked the door open wider as Bryan slid off the bed behind him, folding his arms as he looked over towards the tiger. “Really? I thought you didn't like fairies, Derek. Or did you just run out of football bros to haze?"

Derek winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “It's not like that, okay? I'm just… I'm trying to do Jason a solid. He's… I know it's not cool what happened, but he's really trying to make it right. And you're important to him, even if he's shit at saying it."

Toby's eyes went wide as he glanced between the two. The dalmation put a finger up to his lips. “Now, now now... What is going on here... are you playing relationship counselor?"

Derek shot the dalmatian a glare, but the tiger's ears were tinged with pink beneath his fur. “I'm not. I just… Look, I don't get it, alright? Why him, why you? But Jason's my friend. And you should cut him some slack."

Bryan scoffed, hiding behind sarcasm. “Smooth. So why isn't Jason here himself, then?"

Derek looked genuinely uncomfortable as he tried to step past Toby, but the dlamation stubbornly blocked his path. “Because he's at his review meeting. I'm on my way over there to meet up with Mike. I know you're prbably still pissed, but it'd mean a lot if you showed up."

Bryan's ears shot up as his heart rate increased. “The committee meeting…? Shit." Bryan had been so wrapped up in his own head that he had completely lost track of the time. Guilt twisted in his stomach as he tried not to admit that he'd purposely been avoiding thinking about it.

Toby, ever the opportunist, inched closer to Derek, giving him a slow once-over. “Well, aren't you full of surprises? You know, stripes, you clean up pretty well when you're not trying to overdo it. Ever consider branching out?"

Derek recoiled, looking scandalized. “What? No. I—no. Not my thing. Like at all." But the tiger's blush deepened, and Bryan could already see the gears turning in Toby's head. At this point, Bryan felt that he could write an entire book of reasons why dating football players was a bad idea. Many of which he had already shared with Toby. But Toby was going to be Toby. That was a problem for another day.

Bryan pressed his paws to his temples and closed his eyes, trying to focus. “I… I shouldn't."

The door slammed so loudly against the wall that it caused tremors to radiate through the floor. Bryan flinched as his eyes shot open. What the hell was.... Bryan paused mid-thought. Derek had taken another step back into the hallway and was looking in shock at Toby.

The dalmation radiated rage, his fur bristling. Toby had one paw on his hip and the other on the door, which had its handle buried in the drywall of his and Dreo's room. The dalmation's claws dug into the wooden door's finish. Toby turned his head slowly and glared over at Bryan.

“Bitch, if you do not go to your man right now I am going to murder you…"

Bryan's mouth slowly opened and closed. He was unsure of what to say, but he went ahead and stood up. 

Toby pointed out into the hallway. “Now, Bryan!"

Bryan slowly shook his head and softly smiled. Then he took off at a run. Derek stepped aside, pressing himself against the wall to get out of the way as both he and Toby watched Bryan disappear down the hallway. The rabbit only briefly paused his sprint to slam open the door to the stairwell and disappear within.

Toby grinned, nudging Derek. “See? Some of us know how to pick our moments."

Derek's eyes kept darting between where Bryan had run off to and back at Toby. The dalmation acting like he didn't just punch a hole in the wall and threaten murder casually. Derek was unsure what to say or do, but there was a hint of relief in his posture. “That was rather intense. You think they'll work it out?"

Toby shrugged, a sly smile curling his lips. “If he doesn't, I'll eat my own tail." The dalmation paused and looked over at Derek with a sly grin, “Anyways, speaking of things men can do to each other—"

Derek groaned, backing away. “Nope. I'm out."

Bryan raced across campus, heart pounding as he made his way toward the admin building, hoping—despite everything—that he wasn't too late. All he wore was his pants and a T-shirt. He hadn't even bothered to put on shoes. What was he thinking? That was simple. The truth was that he wasn't. This was something he had to do. Something he wanted to do and he felt like a fool for waiting so long to do it.

Bryan ran into the admin building, past a confused looking receptionist, past the elevators, and into the stairwell. He took the stairs two at a time to the second floor. Then he ran down the familiar hallway and into an empty waiting room. He skidded to a stop in front of the conference room door, his paw hovering over the door handle as he panted.

Muffled voices came from the other side—Jason's low, steady tone, Coach Martinez's gravelly interjections, Mrs. Ringtail's measured cadence. The meeting was still going on. He wasn't too late. Bryan hesitated as his hand continued to hover over the door handle. Memories surged, unbidden and vivid:

The first time he'd met Jason in their dorm, the wolf's towering frame filling the doorway, his gruff “rules" masking insecurity. Late nights tutoring, Jason's brow furrowed as he struggled with accounting, the heat of their shoulders brushing under the desk lamp. The first time they'd slept together—awkward, fumbling, then tender, Jason's claws tracing patterns on Bryan's back as dawn crept through the blinds. Jessica's smirk in the coffee shop as the two sat together. The suffocating shame of the harassment accusation, the committee's cold stares. Jason bursting into this very room weeks ago, breathless and desperate, shouting, “I lied! It's all my fault!" 

Bryan pulled his paw back, turning away. What if he's changed his mind? What if this just makes it worse? His reflection in a nearby window caught his eye—ears drooping, fur pristine from Toby's obsessive skin care. Past that, Bryan looked small. He took a step back towards the hallway.

But then he remembered the stadium. Jason's touchdown run, the crowd's roar, the wolf's triumphant howl as he spiked the ball. The raw vulnerability in Jason's voice as he'd whispered, “I wanted you to see me," on the medical table. The way his claws had trembled as he had reached for Bryan. "I love you." The three words he wanted so desperately to hear.

Bryan whirled back, shoved the door open, and stormed inside. The room fell silent.

Jason sat alone on one side of a long conference table, his jersey that Bryan expected to see him in swapped for a wrinkled button-down, his paws clenched at his sides. Coach Martinez loomed across from him, arms crossed, his cougar's tail lashing. Mrs. Ringtail sat at the center of the table, her coyote ears twitching, but her face unreadable. The other committee members all turned in unison as Bryan entered.

“Bramblebush!" Coach Martinez barked, slamming a paw on the table. “This is a closed—"

“It's fine, Bill," Mrs. Ringtail interrupted, her claw tapping the stack of disciplinary files. A faint smirk tugged at her muzzle. “Poetic symmetry, don't you think?"

Bryan didn't wait for permission. He marched to Jason's side, ignoring the wolf's wide-eyed stare as he stood. The air was thick with tension.

“You don't get to decide his future without hearing from me," Bryan said, his voice steady despite the storm in his chest.

Jason's ear twitched. “Bryan…"

“Shut up," Bryan said, not unkindly. He faced the committee, his claws digging into his palms. “What Jason did was wrong. Lying, letting fear control him—it hurt people. It hurt me." He glanced at Jason, whose gaze had dropped to the floor. “But I was just as confused. I didn't know how to be… this." He gestured between them. “How to want someone who couldn't say it back. How to trust after everything."

Mrs. Ringtail leaned forward, her sharp eyes narrowing. “And now?"

Bryan's paw found Jason's, their claws interlacing. A static shock passed between them, jolting Jason's eyes even wider. “Now I realize he's trying. I need to try too. I forgive him." He paused, the words hanging like a dare. “I love him. Even if he complicates things and we mess up. That's what love is. Messing up and working through it together."

Jason's tail swung rapidly behind him, a strong, steady beat.

The committee deliberated in whispers. The badger scribbled notes, the beaver adjusted her glasses, and Mrs Ringtail slowly shaking her head with a smirk. Coach Martinez's jaw worked like he was chewing steel.

Finally, Mrs. Ringtail cleared her throat. “Bryan- erhm, Mr. Bramblebush. That's very sweet, but we were already just about to render our decision. You may stay, but you'll need to be seated."

Bryan nodded as he awkwardly looked around. Then he quickly stepped aside and pulled out a seat, sitting next to Jason. Bryan reached back out and Jason immediately grabbed ahold of his paw. Their paws gripped tightly together between them. Jason's tail continued to wack rhythmically against the floor. The wolf had a comically large grin that Bryan attempted to ignore as he stared ahead.

Jason squeezed Bryan's paw in his. “Bryan?"

Bryan shook his head, not looking away from the committee members.

“Later," Bryan muttered out of the side of his muzzle.

Mrs. Ringtail cleared her throat. “Alright, all those in favor of acquitting Mr. Whilmeton.

Three paws rose—the badger, the beaver, and Mrs. Ringtail.

Mrs. Ringtail nodded. “Opposed?"

Coach Martinez's growl rumbled through the room as he and one of the other professors paw's rose.

Mrs. Ringtail nodded. “ By a vote of 3 to 2, Mr.Whilmenton is hereby acquired and will have his suspension lifted."

Relief flooded through Jason as his shoulders relaxed. He felt Bryan's grip relax and then tighten.

“I want to make a point of order." Coach Martinez interrupted.

“Yes, Bill?" Mrs Ringtail said.

“Whilmeton, your status as a student is reinstated, but due to unprofessional conduct unbefitting a student of this institution, you are no longer eligible for the Hightail Centaurs Placement Scholarship. Consider this your notice of eligibility revocation."

Jason leapt to his feet. “Coach!"

“Believe it or not, Whilmeton, this is actually beyond my control. Although I still stand by this decision. Actions have consequences."

Jason collapsed back down into his chair.

“We'll figure it out," Bryan whispered, squeezing his paw.

Mrs. Ringtail cleared her throat and then closed the document in front of her on the table. “With that, we are adjourned."

The committee members all stood and began filing out of the room.

Jason didn't know what to feel. Relief that he was still a student? Or dread that now he couldn't pay to stay one? Happyness that Bryan was here with him? Anxiety that he might lose him again?

Bryan sat quietly next to Jason as the wolf worked out his feelings in his head. When it was just the two of them left in the room, and after Jason had a moment to process his feelings, Jason turned to Bryan, his ears flat. “Bryan… you, you didn't have to come."

“Yeah, I did," Bryan smirked, though his eyes shone. “Someone's gotta keep you from self-destructing."

Jason's laugh was rough, relieved. He leaned down, forehead pressing against Bryan's. The scent of his fur—sweat, old books, coffee. It was achingly familiar; it smelled like home. 

The two broke apart, and Bryan stood up.

“So… what now?" Jason asked as he blinked up at the rabbit.

Bryan stepped back, tugging Jason up onto his feet and toward the exit. “Now? You buy me coffee. And we talk. No more hiding."

“Even if I can't pay for it?" Jason quipped, smiling awkwardly.

Bryan rolled his eyes. “I'll put it on your tab."

The two stepped out of the admin building as the morning sun bathed the campus in golden light. They walked, shoulders brushing each other, paw in paw. Students milled around the quad, their laughter carried on the breeze. Jason's tail swayed cautiously, as if afraid to hope.

“You know, we should probably head to the dorms first so I can get my shoes?" Bryan said, feigning nonchalance.

Jason blinked at Bryan in confusion and then looked down at his feet. Then Jason's shoulders began to softly shake. Bryan stopped walking and looked up at Jason, who burst out laughing.

“I can't believe you ran here without your shoes."

Bryan chuckled, his cheeks turning slightly red. “Yeah, well, I was in a hurry."

Jason's ears perked. “You forgot it was today, didn't you?"

“Yep," Bryan said, flat-faced.

Jason laughed harder and then turned and scooped Bryan up into his arms as he lifted the rabbit up.

“Hey! What are you- put me down, I—" Bryan was beginning to protest before Jason kissed him.

Bryan's paws, which were flailing in the air, suddenly wrapped around Jason's shoulders, and Bryan pulled Jason closer, making the kiss deeper and more intense.

As their lips parted, they each looked into each other's eyes.

“Don't suppose you'd be up for starting over? Again…" Bryan said breathlessly.

Jason's voice rumbled low in his chest, his fangs glinting as he smiled. “Yeah... I'd like that."