Night had settled in over the small part of Hyrule that had once been the northeast coast.  Five shadows sat in a burnt-out building of Nabooru where their campfire glowed between broken walls and a half-crumbling roof over their heads, the husks of stone houses everywhere around them like tombstones.

        "I don't like this place," said Andrea poking at the fire.

        "I do not like it either," said Oddclaw.  "These are humen homes, yes?"

        "Yeah they are, these are what they normally look like."

        "It's always stones you use."  He picked up a small rock to toss between his hands.  "Why do you keep trying to make your own caves?"

        "Because it's the strongest," replied Jane lying on top of a sleeping bag, "it's much harder to destroy stone though I shudder to think what ruined this village."

        "Ganon."

Chihlo's reply came whilst she was tuning her bow, sitting cross-legged with her black beak glinting in fire and rubbing a varnished cloth across the string.

        "Any sign of destruction we see, Ganon and his forces are the ones who cause it."

        "Who's Ganon?" asked Jane rolling on her side towards her.  "Is he the head of that island?"

        "More like the king of all evil.  Around sixty years ago, he tried to ruin Hyrule by coming back to destroy the kingdom."

        "He commands the forces?"

        "They sorta...KNOW what he wants, his power is so great that anyone with evil intentions becomes part of his plan."

        "So what like some sorta cult?" asked Dixon scratching her head.

        "You could say that."  The bird plucked her string before tuning the tightness with a small oval green jewel like a screwdriver.  "He always comes back every century or something, I've heard so many legends about him that they all kinda blend together."

        "So wait is he like some kinda ghost?"

        "Practically yeah!  Years pass it's the same old story, guy tries to conquer Hyrule, princess tries to contain his power and a hero comes to save us all, it's all part of the Triforce."

        "Triforce?"  Shantae strolled into the firelight with a few bundles of wood to keep the flames going.  "Sounds real mystical."

        "Well it's...kinda like this."

Chihlo took a stick and drew three triangles within a larger triangular shape.  She then took out three small jewels, green, blue and red to place in each triangle.  The group moved in closer as she explained.

        "Thousands of years ago, the land of Hyrule was formed by three goddesses.  Din, the red force of Power who sculpted the land with her strength; Nayru, the blue font of Wisdom who created the laws of nature and time; and lastly, Farore the green birth of Courage who gave life itself the spirit to survive.  The Triforce is the source of everything in Hyrule, an artifact so powerful that if one were to obtain it, they could change the entire world."

        "How does it work?" asked Oddie sniffing the crystals.

        "First you have to find it," explained the rito, "it changes its location every once a while when passed through the royal family who keep it safe.  If one with a pure heart obtains it, the world will become at peace.  If one with an evil mind obtains it, the world will fall into eternal rot."

        "What if you have both?"

        "Huh!?  N-no you can't have a pure heart and an evil mind that makes no sense!"

        "Why not, everyone has a heart and a mind."

        "I think what Chihlo means," explained Jane sitting up properly, "is that someone has to be wholly good or wholly evil.  Like, example, if you got the Triforce, things would be good.  But if say, your banished bro-"

        "NO!"  The raptor barked suddenly with a warning finger.  "Do not...speak of that, I warned you Jane."

        "Right, s-sorry," she muttered with a stiffened look, "what I meant was that if someone...LIKE that obtained the Triforce, then things would be horrible, yes?"

        "Oh.  Alright, I un-derstand, sorry."

        "Oh-kayyyy?"  The bird scooped up her gems looking confused between Jane and Oddclaw.  "So, the Triforce is the one thing that Ganon has always wanted for like years.  No one knows where he came from, but he's reincarnated like a dozen times in different forms.  One time he was the king of gerudos and hohoh man that REALLY screwed things up for them, it took them YEARS for people to trust them again."

        "One bad apple huh?" said Shantae sitting down beside her cross-legged.  "Why does he want this Triforce then?"

        "To rule the world, duh."

        "Wow that's it?  Sheesh, talk about a cut-out villain, I was expecting something way worse."

        "I mean if he rules the land then YEAH it is worse, it's the worst thing that could happen!  But we always have a hero to stop him, it always happens, always the spirit of Courage proves itself to face back the evil and the kindness of Wisdom is always at his side to protect the land.  Both of them face against the cruelty of Power and stop Ganon every time...maybe not always soon enough but yanno, better late than never."

        "So what's with this group at the island?" asked the half-genie shifting her legs.  "Why wouldya go in alone?!"

        "Cuz someone had to do SOMETHING!" shouted the bird with a fist into the dirt.  "If someone out there's got some kinda scheme going on that could bring back the worst monster in all of history, and you were the only one who knew about it, wouldn't YOU do something?!"

        "No no I TOTALLY get it, I do it's just...you went in alone, without any friends and you said this island was like way WAY off the beaten path so why'd you go there originally?"

        "Oh...w-well I was, looking for something, yanno, like, treasure an' stuff."

Her words became guarded, Oddclaw sensing a stiffness in Chihlo's scent as Jane scooted closer to put a hand on her feathered shoulder.

        "Do you want to talk about it?"

        "No."

        "Okay, just checking, sorry."

        "Yanno what the worst part is about Ganon not being around anymore?  All those monsters' corpses just don't up and vanish now into smoke, they just lie there rotting away, I mean back when Ganon was oozing out across Hyrule his monsters just got sucked up like bad gas into the air!  I mean alright maybe a couple o' teeth and some horns left behind, guts too if yer lucky!  But now they just litter the place with their behinds and it's kinda gross."

        "That's...a hell of a problem to think about," said Andrea with a look repulsed.

        "Yeah, sorry that kinda sounded a bit-"

        "Psychopathic?"

        "Hahaha yeaaaah okay I'll stop now."

        "I know what you mean though!" added Shantae tossing some wood onto the fire.  "Where I come from there are a lotta enemies that just vanish in smoke, I like those ones a lot better than having to deal with like, guts and stuff."

        "Yeaaaaaaah I mean," Chihlo dug a finger into her ear to unpop it, "the best thing about having an evil magic warlord is when their minions die they tend to like puff right out from existence."

        "RIGHT, it's so helpful, you'd think they wouldn't care but it really keeps the place clean!"

        "Like okay I know they're just trying to respawn their minions sorta out from the ether but goddess do you miss that once they're gone."

        "Say what you will about evil but they sure care about recycling!"

        "This is weird," murmured Jane towards Andrea.

        "Sure is," she whispered back, "but we only got one chance to rescue Ade and Bose and this bird knows the land better than all of us."

        "I like her," said Oddclaw sitting closer to the humans, "she is brave."

        "There's brave and there's reckless like Kevin."

        "What do you mean?"

        "Well..." Andrea tried to explain it with a crossing of arms.  "Jane you wanna take this?"

        "Hmmm alright then."  Dr. Addison rolled her eyes and moved round to sit between Dixon and Oddie.  "So, there's being brave and there's being reckless.  Brave is knowing the risks but still doing it because you have to.  Reckless is NOT knowing the risks and just doing it."

        "Oh...is Kevin rek-liss?"

        "He is yes, but that's not his fault, he has a condition."

        "A what?"

        "So...remember I told you about the brain and all the parts of it that make you feel different emotions?"

        "Yes?"

Jane put her hands round Oddie's skull to demonstrate, tapping upon a point behind his neck.

        "Right arouuuund here, is a part of the brain called the amygdala that creates fear, the emotion.  When something dangerous approaches you, that part turns on so you move away from the danger.  Kevin's amygdala doesn't work, so he is quite LITERALLY incapable of fear."

        "Wait what, who's incapable of fear?!"

The bird and half-genie leaned over in the midst of their talk as Jane sheepishly turned her head.

        "O-oh, um we have this friend, he has a genetic thing, I think it's called  Urbach-Wiethe disease, there's a part of your brain that allows you to feel fear, because you know, it's good to be afraid, fear tells you to avoid dangerous things."

        "That sounds AWESOME!" cried Chihlo.  "Why is HE not here then he'd be kicking ass!"

        "Because he's our top medical chief," stated Andrea bluntly with a withering look, "and it's actually not awesome because it makes him very reckless and a high risk casualty, fear is a good thing to have."

        "Mmmmmm that does sound weird," said Shantae twisting her ponytail between her fingers, "but I have seen the difference between a brave person and a reckless one so I know a thing or two about fear not always being a bad thing."

        "Screw that, I don't need fear in my life!"  Chihlo stretched her wings and laid back flumping on the dirt.  "Rito are all about confidence, we're the SPIRIT of it in Hyrule, people think of us and they get inspired!"

        "Really, whysat Chihlo?"

        "Do you know what it is like, to fly everywhere, every day, knowing that one mistake can send you down to your doom?"  She sat up onto her side swinging her wing out above her.  "Like, you're on the ground, if you fall, eh, no biggie, you scrape your knee.  But a rito falls, they're dead, you CAN'T falter, you can't make mistakes, you gotta own every action you do, every move, every day, every morning, every SECOND of your life you gotta live life to the fullest cuz if you half-ass your flapping then you ain't getting out of the nest alive."

        "I have friends who fly," said the raptor smiling politely, "I think I un-derstand, you would like them!  My friend Stonesea is coming back in three days to take me back home, you can come meet him!"

        "Sure, that'd be great!"

        "Hey there!"

A voice came from the old village path as they saw two shapes approach them.  Humans with long pointed ears, one a portly-looking woman in beige with a young lady beside her.

        "Hello!" replied Shantae waving to them.  "Nice night huh?!"

        "Sure is!" said the woman.  "Hoo...been walking all day and my hogs are barking!  Mind if we scoot down a bit by the fire?"

        "Sure!"

        "I'm fine with it," replied Chihlo looking towards Oddie, "if everyone else is."

        "I am."

The two understood each other clearly with a hard gaze, one that Jane caught on to quickly knowing that same look from Oddie in the past as she nudged Dixon beside her.  Andrea wrote down two words in English that Shantae understood as they all relaxed carefully at the two strangers' approach.

        "Hhhhaaaaaah, much better."  The older woman flumped between them as the young lady sat opposite.  "Goodness what a group, I've never seen anyone like you lot in all my years!"

        "We're researchers," said Dixon confidently clasping her palms, "studying new samples of fungi in the forests."

        "Ooooh how exciting, got any tips?!  I'd certainly love to pick some shrooms for a few recipes."

        "I think we can help with that sure.  Been travelling long?"

        "Ohohhh yes, me and my daughter are truffle hunters, they sell for quite a high price over in Faron!"

        "That sounds exciting!" added Shantae.  "Yanno I never had truffles, what do they taste like?"

        "Ooooh earthy, pungent, somewhat garlicky but they go lovely with rice, or scrambled eggs, maybe some risotto!"

        "I don't suppose yer selling any are you?"

        "Hahaha, sorry but we're saving those, I DO have some bananas we could share."

        "Aw I love bananas," said Chihlo smiling, "yanno I almost never get to taste any of 'em back home."

        "Ohoh well, I'm sure you must have had your fill of plenty...Chihlo."

The woman looked with a fiendish eye aside to the rito.  She smiled back in turn with a soft nod as the woman sighed sweetly.

        "You've been QUITE a troublesome little thing haven't you?"

        "No worse than you, I bet."

        "Well I think it would be best if you decided to settle down and...accept your place."

        "Hah, telling a bird to settle down, you really do not understand us rito dontcha girl?"

        "Oh I understand you plenty my little bird."

The sound of three guns clicked between the crackling sounds of firelight as Dixon pressed a handgun to the woman's head.  In turn she saw the young lady from the other side of the fire with a small crossbow pointed at her with Oddclaw having his own shotgun pointed at the lady.  The standoff begun, much to Jane's hot sweating nerves glistening in the flames and Shantae cautiously tapping her fingers.

        "I think you should leave ma'am," said Andrea coolly.

        "Do you think that's wise?" said the portly woman with an eerie calm.  "I do not know what you are pointing at me but my friend's crossbow will make short work of your head."

        "Then she dies," replied Oddclaw, "I have two shots, one for her and one for you."

        "Can you shoot me that quickly, lizalfos?"

        "We will find out."

        "Are you willing to risk your friend having an arrow through her brain?"

        "I trust my friends."  The raptor resisted the urge to look towards the trees.  "The sy-lent prin-sess always grows where my friends have fallen."

        "Hmhmhm, how poetic!" chortled the woman.  "You should come join us, we would love to have someone so eloquent for our speeches."

        "No."

        "Are you sure?  Our master would welcome you...as well as any who would rather not defy him.  Those who defy us would find their futures to be quite.  Short."

        "A-AAAAGH!"

Something flashed from the forest leaves as the crossbow-wielding girl spasmed her grip to drop her weapon.  Oddclaw rushed her immediately to bludgeon his gun on her face, whilst the larger woman smacked Andrea's gun away with a backfist across her face to suddenly roll backwards into an athletic flip.  She struck a pose with two fingers before her nose, puffing smoke from her clothes in small bursts that ripped her beige outfit apart to reveal the true fiend beneath.  A sturdy muscular female wrapped entirely in red with mask covering her face as the group stood from the fire.  The younger lady wrestled free from Oddclaw's grip by swinging a sickle at his face forcing him to let go as she poofed in a cloud, before reappearing next to her fellow hunter in a similar outfit.

        "This is your last chance," warned the woman revealed, "either surrender yourself fully to Ganon's will, or you shall suffer a fate worse than Hyrule's own."

        "How about, you both go eat a dick," said Chihlo limbering up for a fight, "cuz the only way I'm going back with you, is if you drag my feathered carcass back!"

        "That can be arranged, I'm sure you would feed at least a fourth of our army alone!"

        "Then ya best get tenderising!" shouted Shantae burning her hand up with furious fire.  "Cuz you'll find that we're pretty dang tough to eat, I mean, BEAT!"

        "ATTAAAACK!"

The first stranger charged with ninja-like speed, whirling sickles within their hands that striked towards Chihlo as she ducked the first swipe to punch hard into the fiend's stomach, opening herself up to Shantae's burning fist that drove straight into her mask.  The other woman however kept back with crossbow ready to shoot as the rito countered with her own bow in a spinning jump, twirling in the air to pull her weapon out and fire at the shooter's leg who only barely dodged.

        "Nice try birdbrain-"

BANG

        "A-AAAARRRGH MY LEG!"

        "Dodge that, bitch."  Dixon stood with smoking gun and a cocky smile.  "Wanna try again-"

        "ANDREA LOOK OUT!"

Jane's warning alerted her to a roaring shriek as there came more forces from the woods.  Two more ninjas along with four reptiles that scrabbled with horrific speed towards them as she panic-fired twice, missing both targets.  Oddclaw rushed in beside to pump both shells into one lizard's face, crunching his throat and skull inwards with a hefty spatter of blood that dashed across himself and the women's boots.

        "COVER ME!" cried the raptor.

        "G-GOD, JESUS CHRIST!" howled Jane with hands to her ears.  "C-could you sodding WARN ME NEXT TIME ODDIE?!"

        "I'M SORRY, JUST COVER ME!"

Reloading his shells swiftly he ducked beside the humans who fired in tandem at the remaining enemies, trying to keep the pressure on despite the absurd swiftness of the oncoming horde.  The ninjas rushed back and forth almost blurring a trace behind them, whilst the lizalfos were not so agile and received a few peppering shots into their backs and limbs.  One of the assassins got close enough to slice, but Oddie had one shell popped into his gun just in time as he blasted its stomach, bursting the spine from the base of its hip as the killer shrieked in horrid agony.  Realising he wasn't going to reload fast enough, he grabbed at the dying fiend's sickle blade and stood ready to defend whilst Jane and Andrea reloaded their guns.

Chihlo and Shantae faced off against the apparent leader of the enemy group, the strong-muscled woman that flipped back and waited for another attack.  She hurled a boomerang towards them to throw them off, rushing straight towards their faces as the rito swivelled dodging on one foot before swinging out her short scimitar blade to clash violently against the Yiga's sickle.  The striking steel only lasted a second before the ninja poofed fast in smoke, disorienting the bird briefly until the half-djinn beside her cried out a gust of wind from her bangled wrists to blow the smog away.  She saw the crossbow-wielder taking aim once more after reloading her weapon as Shantae made a rolling dance, tumbling like a ball within shimmering light.

        "TRAAAAANSFORM!"

        "WH-GAA-OWWWW!"

Something hard collided against her already-wounded foot, a smacking strike of sturdy pottery that rolled straight through causing her to trip up and fall, but not before another whispering light came from behind followed by a crunching sharp tightness round both her legs.

        "A-AAAAAGH, GAHHH GANON D-DAMMIT YOU BITCH GET OFFA MEEEE!"

The yiga shooter looked down to see a small red crab fiercely clamping on both her heels with such powerful clench, trying viciously to shake her off but the twin pincers kept such a grip it was like trying to kick off a pair of manacles.  She soon reformed to slam her body on top, throwing the crossbow away and pulling out a length of rope to hogtie her hands to her feet.  Chihlo was busy fighting the leader of the group, curved sickle flailing before her eyes as she swung her scimitar against to clash and dance around the fire.  Shadows swept across the walls of the ruined home as the bird and yiga struck blades, sparks shimmering briefly above the flame as the red ninja spun and sliced upon one foot, sweeping high and low to try and sever Chihlo's feathers.

The rito dodged back feeling the slicing air brush in front of her neck, falling into a backflip to scratch her clawed talons against the mask surprising her opponent briefly.  Bending low out of her flip, the bird charged with a rushing stab that the Yiga swerved her body away from, driving an elbow against Chihlo's head to make her stagger to the side.

        "ENOUGH OF THIS!"  The ninja slammed her foot into Chihlo's stomach knocking her against the wall.  "If you refuse to come along quietly then you and your new friends shall PERISH!"

        "NAH-UH!"

        "A-AAAIIIE!"

A flash of purple struck against the side of her head before two curled slippers of finest golden hue spunkick straight to the back of her skull.  The hand of Shantae pulled Chihlo back onto her feet.

        "You weren't gonna leave ME to do all the work werentcha girlfriend?!"

        "What and miss out on the fun?!"  The rito scratched the tip of her beak with a finger towards their opponent.  "You ready for round two bitch?!"

        "INSOLENT FREAK!" shouted the yiga woman.  "You will PAY FOR THIS, BACKUP SQUAD, ATTAAACK!"

The sound of shrieking beasts came from the forests as they turned to see dozens of beady eyes between the trees.  Chittering bokoblins squawked with rancid teeth and piggish snouts with bows and arrows and clubs ready to skewer and crush as they charged towards the two women.

        "COME ON  GUYS LET'S GET 'EM!"

        "FOR GANOOOON!"

        "WH-AAGH, A-AAAGH MY LEG!"

        "MY FAAAACE!"

        "S-SOMEONE'S SHOOTIN' US!"

        "YAHAHAAAAAA!"

Raining arrows came from the trees above, puncturing limbs and even skulls as the invaders fell like grass before the cutting blade.  The sounds of giggling koroks could be heard as little shadows leapt from place to place, confusing the mug-faced punks below who in turn tried to fire back in all directions.

        "Wh-WHERE ARE THEY?!"

        "COME OUT YOU BASTARDS I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU-GHHHRK!"

        "BOKAN!?  BOKAAAN NOOO!  THAT'S IT, I'M GONNA SKIN YOU SHITS ALIVE!"

        "YAHAHAAAA!"  A korok swung down upon him with wooden sword and shield brandished and ready.  "You shall die today evil fiend, FOR HYRUUULE!"

        "RAAAAAAARGH!"

The bokoblin rushed with heavy club above his head, swinging down hard to crush the puny-looking sapling who dodged the easily-telegraphed swing and slashed at the beast's arm.  Infuriated he swung a hand out in a backfist smacking the infant-sized beast to the ground, who yelped and rolled fast to avoid being crushed.  The blade of bark was surprisingly sharp, cutting fast across the enemy's leg to open a thin deep cut in his ankle that left him staggering.  Limping with a roaring screech, he whirled the club above his head to come crashing down as Donkoro barely dodged, stumbling in a half-roll that sprained his tiny foot.

        "YA-A-OOWWWW!"

        "Awwww lookit dat, widdle woody boy's about to get CHOPPED!"

        "YYYYAAH!"

        "GA-AAAAH, YOU-G-GET OFF AAAARGH!"

His attack was delayed by a bug-catching net that swooped over his head and pulled his head back, the pudge-shaped Sankoro frantically riding on behind him as the bokoblin shrieked and squabbled in a stumbling run whilst Pankoro the archer kept firing down on the rest of the beasts.  Swiftly rushing from tree to tree his arrows seemed to come from everyplace as the dozenfold bokoblins shot back with fidgeting fingers fretting along bowstrings whilst Sankoro desperately held onto his bucking bokoblin.

        "NYAAAARGH!"

        "WH-WHA-A-AAAAH, DONNY HEEEEELP!"

        "TASTE BARK, FIEND!"

With rushing sword Donkoro charged aiming towards the potbellied beast, but he tripped upon a stone and sent it elsewhere.

        "GLRRRK!"

The sword went straight up the beast's nostril, tearing through mucus-covered membranes and practically lodged into his brain as his eyes rolled up quietly.  Slumping with spasming arms the bokoblin died surprisingly quick, much to the koroks' shock as they stood back watching the sword get covered in snot.

        "U-uhhhh, you get it," mumbled Donkoro.

        "Wha-EWWWW no it's your thing!" argued Sankoro.

        "A-a-aaaah I'm allergic to mucus!"

        "That's STUPID you can't be allergic it's in yer nose!"

        "We don't HAVE mucus numbnuts!"

        "But it's YOUR sword!"

        "SHUT UP AN' DIE YOU PRICKS!" shrieked another bokoblin rushing over his friend's corpse.

        "A-AAAIIIEE!"

In a flinching panic both koroks cowered fast, but nothing came down on their heads when a shunting arrow pierced through the enemy's skull and sent him staggering backwards.

        "YER WELCOME!" shouted Chihlo from the camp.

From the other side of the campfire, Jane, Andrea and Oddclaw were facing down three lizalfos and one Yiga hunter.  The raptor squared off against the ninja, deftly spinning sickles in their hands to try and intimidate the other opponent.  The yiga charged with a cackling glee, swiftly flash-stepping left and right with blurring shadows as the raptor sharpened his senses and spun fast in a striking clash at the ninja who had rushed behind him.  Feeling the hot breath pass his cheek, Oddie scraped his sickle blade against the fiend's own before striking with his claws at the face.  The yiga howled with shock at the scratching tear to his cheek but recovered quickly to back off and disappear within a cloud of mist.

Oddclaw waited upon sensing someone's presence, twirling the crescent-shaped blade in his hand before something rushed above his head.  He rolled fast to avoid the cleaving strike of the ninja, a shadow briefly upon him before the raptor turned and struck at the assassin's leg, plunging his free hand forwards to stab his claws sharply into the enemy's throat.

        "HORRRKH!"

        "Yippee-ki-ay."

Pulling his fingers free from the sleeved neck, blood spurted out along his wrist as the ninja stuttered with choking coughs and bubbling red before slumping over in fits of death.  During this both Dixon and Addison were firing back against the three large reptiles swerving back and forth between their laser-rippled shots, red strips flashing along their handles with every charge.  The lizards dodged with pendulous bodies and scuttling feet, splayed along the ground as they thrust their spears with threatening menace towards the humans forcing Jane and Andrea to duck or evade.  The scientist was harder to make flinch, staring down with more precise shots that winged or tore through the shoulders and ribs, whilst the therapist was shaking half the time her aim would always be somewhat off, hitting every once in a blue moon.  With only five shots per recharge, they knew they had to face them eventually head-on.

        "Shit," muttered Dixon with gritted teeth, "here it comes!"

        "A-AAAGH!"

Jane stumbled back falling near the flames as one lizalfos rushed with threatening bony spear lancing for her neck.  The American tried to attack from the side pistol-whipping at the beast's eye, but he saw her coming and punched his bony hand into her stomach with a following uppercut to knock her down.  It did however distract him enough for Jane to grab burning wood and strike with embrous force across his face.

        "A-AAAAAARGH YOU BITCH!"

        "PISS OFF!"  She stumbled back onto her feet brandishing a burning torch that she swung with frenzy.  "GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU WALL-EYED FREAK-AAAAH!"

The reptile shot out his proboscis tongue with a slap to Jane's face, causing her to flinch and drop her torch as the lizalfos grabbed for her arm.  Lurching forwards she flailed with a hammering fist, slamming into his eye and grabbing his head to knee him in the chest before throwing him to the side to get her gun from the ground.

        "You...are gonna PAY FOR THAT!"

        "AAAAAAAARRGH!"

She turned and fired squeezing her eyes shut, pumping five laser shots through his stomach as the lizalfos roared with gurgling choke, his back erupting into small bursts of singing bloodied wounds as he staggered to crumple nearly on top of Jane.  The English woman shook with adrenaline as she took a deep breath and focused all that she could on stiffening her lip.

        "It's fine, it's fine it's...fine, you're just putting down a rabid monitor at the zoo, that's it, just...putting down an animal that was going to kill you, that's ENTIRELY justified-"

        "JANE WAKE UP GET OVER HERE!"

        "GUH-YES, S-SORRY!"

Andrea stood back up beckoning her to her side as they faced against the last two lizards, both of which had swords cruelly gleaming in the night.

Shantae and Chihlo stood back to back, the bird drawing her bow as the half-genie charged up her hands with fire.

        "You deal with her," said the rito, "I got this mob of punks."

        "Alrighty!" replied the djinn.  "Feel free to join in when you're done with 'em!"

        "Ohoh, wouldn't DREAM of missin' it girlfriend!"

Standing her ground Chihlo fired into the forest as shapes became formed from the darkness, the surviving bokoblins scraping past the koroks' attacks only to get shot down by her piercing arrows.  Some were smart enough to guard or swipe her shots away with their clubs, but they never survived close combat when they swung with heavy strikes only to be countered by her thrustkick-and-stab, slamming a foot into their guts before shanking them in the face.  Eight beasts in all fell to her ruthless defence whilst Shantae ran towards the Yiga superior with a triple flame of fireballs whirling above her fist.  Two of them fell short as the fiendish woman strafed, but the third would have hit dead-on had the ninja not vanished in a foggy soup, the blasting fire penetrating through the mist to create a donut shape.

        "Wha-where'dya go coward?!  COME OUT!"

        "Right HERE!"

From above came her menacing voice, striking down with half-moon blade ready to cut her head wide open as Shantae suddenly danced.

        "TRANSFORM!"

Her own smoke burst free from her magic body as the hunter carved clean through the purple haze, finding no one around her.

        "Wha-HEY!  No fair I'M the smoke-vanishing trickster round here you-Y-YOWCH!"

Something stung her foot with piercing bite, looking down to see a little blue mouse ripping open a hole in her costume to wiggle inside and creep into her leggings.  The Yiga assassin started giggling with twisting fits and gasping laughs, cackling as her body convulsed between little feet tickling her skin and harsh nipping bites alongside them.

        "YA-OW-O-O-OOOUCH, HAH HAHAHAH, O-OW YOU B-BITCH TH-THAT HUR-HURHAHHAAHAH-E-EEEEH, OHHH YOU-GAHAAHAAAH!"

The transformed girl peeked out behind her collar and scuttled onto her hair before jumping off her body and reassuming her human form.  Before the hunter would even realise,  Shantae spunkick behind her to whallop the fiend across her head and knock her to the ground harshly, backflipping up stand beside the rito.

        "Now watcha gonna do?!" she jibed.

        "Cuz you only got two of us," added Chihlo, "and only ONE of you."

        "I can take on all of you!" challenged the Yiga.  "But first, you DIE little bird!"

With brazen step the clan ninja rushed with a curving sweep of her fiendish blade towards both women as Chihlo ducked and Shantae flipped into a handstand, whacking both her slippered feet into the woman's masked face with the rito just punching her hard in the crotch much to a wincing pain.  The woman sucked in a hot breath and focused on disappearing with a flash of smoke, fading from their eyes before reapparing in a swirling dark aura from the wall nearby to grab at the discarded crossbow and load it up to fire.  Shantae saw her first and swiftly summoned a spell between them.

        "BUBBLE!"

Spreading her arms out she formed a perfect sphere around her and Chihlo, a soft clear blue that just had the crossbolt simply bounce off with a BLORP.

        "WH-WHAT!?" cried the Yiga.

        "ReJECTEEEED!" mocked the half-djinn turning herself round to smack her butt at the assassin.  "Try again, maybe aim a little higher!"

        "Or just shoot yerself," added Chihlo, "least that way you'll be spared for what WE'RE gonna do to ya."

        "GAAAAAAAAARGH!"

With furious charge the ninja swiped with shocking strength, severing the bubble in three cuts as the girls instantly attacked in sync, leaping together like a ballet act to slam down a foot each onto the enemy's head.  Crumpling forwards the assassin groaned and propped herself up fast with a mighty heave of her muscles, flipping to a handstand to swipe both her feet at the bird and half-djinn.  Both backed off, Shantae striking a fireball at the woman's stomach to topple her whilst Chihlo came down for the kill.  The clanswoman barely had a chance to scream from the sword plunging in her throat.

        "Night night."

        "HGHRRRK!  KHHhhhhn-nnn..."

Once she was certain the hunter was dead, Chihlo twisted her blade out and smoothly cleaned it on the sleeve of her assailant.  Swishing it back into her holster she raised a wing to Shantae as they high-fived.

        "NICE going Shantae!"

        "Thanks!" said the genie.  "You make a pretty good partner yanno that?!"

        "Pffft well yeah, rito quality baby."

        "Is everyone alright?!" asked Jane looking round the scene of battle.

        "We're fine!"

        "SO ARE WE!" shouted Donkoro.

        "Well that's good."  Andrea holstered her gun and slumped to her feet.  "God DAMN my head hurts from all that fighting."

        "That's the adrenaline," said Chihlo hauling a carcass towards the corner of the ruined house, "hnnnngh...just settle yerself down, milk's good fer that."

        "Don't suppose you got any on you?"

        "Naaaah, shame really."

        "I will help you," said Oddie dragging another body where none could see it, "they were hunting for you."

        "Yep."  The bird dumped one body before moving to the next.  "Grab anything useful from these guys too if you want, weapons, supplies an' stuff."

        "Do they taste good?"

        "What?!"

        "Could we eat them?"

        "NOOO ugh goddess that's gross!"

        "Why?!"

        "Cuz they're not...FOOD, what's yer name again?!"

        "Oddclaw."  The raptor tossed a bokoblin into the slowly growing horde of corpses.

        "Well they're not food Oddclaw, you sure you're not a lizalfos?"

        "No, I am a raptor."

        "Right."

        "What do we do about her?"  Shantae pointed towards the still-hogtied Yiga hoping nobody noticed her.

        "You let me handle her," said Jane.  "I'm well-versed in the arts of interrogation."

        "So am I," said Chihlo with a fiendish grin, "I can make her squeal reeeeal bad-"

        "A-aaaah nooo I think we can handle this WITHOUT bloodshed in a much more effective manner."

        "Suit yerself."

Once all the bodies had been cast and their belongings all stripped, the group made certain there were no more beasts left within the village grounds before curling up to sleep.  The koroks also took this time to sleep by burying themselves into the dirt with only their sprouting tops showing from the cool earth, muttering to each other.

        "See that?" said Donkoro the sword.  "THAT'S what being a hero's about!"

        "Yeah you were a real hero," said Pankoro the archer, "when that bokoblin came atcha with a club ready to squash ya!"

        "I-i was just luring him to let Sankoro catch him!"

        "You were not!"

        "WAS TOO!"

        "Guuuuys," whimpered Sankoro already buried in the earth, "I'm tiiiiired let's go to sleep."

        "Can't wait fer whut adventures we're gonna get tomorrow!"

        "I can...th-that was scary."

        "Not as scary as when we almost drowned up north!" crowed Donkoro digging a small hole for himself.  "That was TOUGH!"

        "We only made it outta there cuz that birdy and her friend helped us," said Pankoro sinking down into fresh overturned dirt.

        "Yeaaaaah...we owe her now.  Mmmm...night guys."

        "Niiiiight!"

The severed village of Nabooru slept through the night with a fraughtful silence, the sounds of the ocean from far east almost heard amidst the crackling flames and the whispers of trees.  Dawn would soon break, as other creatures would stir for their own morning duties.

        "This world don't LOOK any different," began the moblin with his slop-tongued croaking speech, "I mean...yeah, the boss said we got sucked up into thuh sky an' landed on sum other ocean but it...sure don't feel like it.  Even thuh sun rises thuh same as Hyrule's does......whut do you think?"

He turned his head towards a yellow blob with googly eyes around 4 feet tall and 2 feet wide, sizzling with electric bolts along its gelatinous form.

        "I mean, yeah I GUESS the breeze tastes kinda different...hm, wish I could go out an' see whut new stuff there's to cook, you think they got mushrooms out there too, maybe even like herbs?!  Buuuuut no, we gotta stick here seein' thuh same borin' ol' rocks on this same stupid ol' island."

The moblin sighed as he leaned back slightly, his hands propping himself up behind him as he sat upon a large red cliff in the midst of a canyon.  The sun rose itself from the sea as the gooey blob beside him shivered a soft burbly noise in response.

        "Howzit different?!" asked Mohberra slapping the air in front of him.  "Looks like thuh same orb in thuh sky to me!"

His bulbous friend grizzled with phlegm, raising one of its eyes towards him to resemble a slug's ocular stalk.

        "...huh...yeah I see whut you mean."  The thuggish chef rubbed his chin with eyes squinting at the sun.  "I guess it does sorta got that otherworldly look to it, bein' kinda thuh same as our sun does make it even more...beautiful.  Whut if it's just another Hyrule, like sum otherworld, didn't thuh legends say about a dark world once?"

Again the blob gurgled its response with shivering current along its pores.

        "Woah...really?!  Imprisoning War?!"

More squishy sounds almost astute in its observation covered a full minute of conversation as the blob enunciated.

        "I never heard o' that...so whut do YOU believe then?"

Try as he might to explain, the orb of slime struggled with some form of ruminating theory amidst squirming gooey noises and the odd squash of its body.

        "Timelines?!  Pffft get outta here, can't have no timelines, we only live in thuh one, doesn't time like go...straight?!"

With an air of professorial grace, the sludge expanded upon its personal theories in a way that very few could ever enunciate, with such simplicity in breaking down a complex historical theorem, that the moblin unschooled in such fields could completely understand.

        "Woaaaah...that's crazy, but yanno whut it kinda makes sense when ya put it that way...how come you know so much about this stuff?!"

The sludge squashed itself flat with a gorged sound before reassembling to a blobby shape.

        "Hahaha, awww cummon yer thuh smartest one I know, I dunno NUTHIN' about history an' stuff."  He glanced towards one of the shadows cast by the pointed rocks above him.  "Oop, back to work, later Chuson."

The amorphous slime pushed out its side into something resembling a wave goodbye to its friend as Mohberra trudged back down the mountain path.  His toolbelt swished against his waist, the frying pan at his thigh clunking softly with each step as the sun's light faded from his view, the shadow of himself sinking lower towards his head until he made it back to the base.  It was rampant with activity as beasts rushed back and forth, chittering with praises and cocky boasts that he caught snippets of in passing.

        "Two of 'em?!"

        "Yeah, and they're way more useful than that bird freak!"

        "Whysat?!"

        "Cuz I heard they were alchemists, so they could make good stuff for us like, poisons!"

        "What do WE need with poisons?!"

        "To poison our BLADES with or, yanno, maybe dip arrows with poison, you don't win by being the toughest, you gotta be the smartest!"

        "Ohhhhhhh...that's nasty."

        "RIGHT, it'll be awesome, we're totally gonna take back Hyrule!"

        "I'd rather we just take back Akkala first."

The twisting passages eventually lead him back to the mess hall where half of the forces were eating up whilst the other half went on duty.  The usual suspects were chewing and slorping with tables covering in spittle, again as he rolled his eyes to the sounds of half-full mouths yammering with cackles, lizalfos tongues sneakily shooting out to steal other people's food and the resulting fights that broke out when one moblin took offence and decided to stab the beast behind him.

        "Mohberra."

        "Ugh."

He turned with a quiet wince at the voice that called him, seeing a white lizalfos with eyes of coldest blue, his body glistening with icy shards whilst spooning his bowl of stew.

        "Did you forget something?" said the frozen lizard with a doctor's voice.

        "Whut did I forget?" asked Mohberra with heavy shrug.

        "No no..." he placed his spoon to one side before clasping his fingers together.  "I want YOU to tell me."

        "Hhhhh..."  The chef took a spoonful of the stew to gently swill in his mouth.  "Mmmmglk...carrot?"

        "No."

        "Hmmmmm...rushroom?"

        "I hate rushroom."

        "Can you just tell me cuz I gotta work."

        "If you cannot tell me what you are missing," said the lizalfos snatching back his spoon, "do you really think it matters if you are in the kitchen or not?"

        "If you wanna cook go ahead," said Mohberra pointing towards the kitchen, "just try not to melt near the oven."

        "Unbelieveable."  The reptile pushed his bowl to one side before standing up to face the cook.  "Yet ANOTHER thing you forget, is how to address your superior."

        "I'm not a lizard, Zark."

        "But you ARE the bottom of the food chain, and that makes ME superior to you always."

        "But I make the food-NNNGH!"

He stopped when Zark slapped him viciously across the face, the sound of ice shattering against Mohberra's cheek to almost send him to the floor with a cold burning face as the arctic lizard brandished a clawfinger towards his hanging snout.

        "I wasn't...DONE, speaking, you pathetic overgrown degenerate.  That makes me superior to you, and no matter what you say, my word is ALWAYS greater than yours."

        "F-fine, sure," the moblin snorted rubbing his cheek, "you want anything else?"

        "Yes, you will call me Lizarkolios, by my FULL name because I am not your friend, I am your customer of which you are a slave to serve me and our army."

        "Yes...sir."

        "Good."  Lizarkolios handed him the bowl of half-eaten stew.  "Now, go and make me some proper food."

        "Yes, sir."

The cook walked back into the kitchen with the stew that he emptied out into the sink, putting the bowl with the rest of the washing-up that already was becoming a pile on its own.  Only one other worker was as early as him.

        "Hey Mohberra," said Lizanaich stirring his pot of stew.

        "Hey...Zark complained about his stew again."

        "UGH, did he-seriously?!  I put in like five different spices what the SHIT does he want?!"

        "Keep yer voice down!" he warned leaning close with gritted teeth.  "He's punishin' us, you know that."

        "You think he knows what we did?"

        "No, but he blames me fer whut happened."

He hunched over the sink to clean the mountain of cutlery that had come from night shift's feeding run, the hunkered bowls and cheap forks with knives and spoons scattered like shavings as the moblin poured a bottle of chemical liquid into the stone-based sink.  Water spurted from a pipe as he turned the tap for hot water, aided by a rudimentary fire-rod under the sink that heated up whenever he turned on the faucet connected to it.

        "So whut's this about new hostages?" Mohberra asked scrubbing bowls in thick steam.

        "Just they got knowledge o' chemicals," replied Lizanaich chopping carrots, "boss says he wants to take us out on a field trip to test 'em on the local folk."

        "Is there even ANY folk round here?"

        "Didn'tcha hear the scouts, they said a ship crashed into the mountain!"

        "When?!"

        "Like two days back!"

        "Huh...wonder if she managed to find it."

        "Well they never found her so I guess not?  "You think she's alright?  S'been like three days since she got out."

        "I hope she's alright...you think those two hostages are friends of hers?"

        "Not seen 'em so, I dunno."  The lizard shrugged with soft horn glowing.  "If they make 'em work in the kitchen we could ask 'em."

        "Hmmmmm..."

        "You okay big guy?"

        "Huh?"

The yellow-scaled beast stepped away from his pot to place a hand on the moblin's elbow.

        "You seem well...dunno, kinda worried."

        "I'm not sure," he replied, "I keep thinkin' about Chihlo...place felt different when she was around, like it wuz...brighter."

        "Hah, you think so?"

        "Maybe, I dunno..."  He turned his head towards the rest of the kitchen with a soft sigh, "she wuz with us fer like five weeks every day, feels empty now."

        "She said she'd come back right?  You believe her dontcha?"

        "I...I want to."

        "Then do it, believe!" cried Lizanaich with hand reaching up to pat his shoulder.  "You'll see her again, I'm sure we will!  Besides the way she was talkin' when she left, there's no way she's not coming back to kick all our bosses' asses!"

        "Yeah...heh, yer right...thanks Liz."

He wrapped his arm round the iguana-beast, feeling the spark of his horn tenderly emit a radiant light next to his wounded cheek as they hugged.

        "Oh by the way," said Liz, "I got the boss' food ready, you wanna take it to him?"

        "Why can't you?" asked Mohberra.

        "Cuz I gotta tell Bokonette about our new pastry order, you know how she gets when ya don't tell her beforehand.  I'll handle the washing-up for ya, alright bro?"

        "Alright, thanks."

The tray of prepared food for the master was an elaborate concoction of dishes.  Cream of mushroom soup steaming away in a clear white broth, mushroom rice balls in a crumbly soft triangular set of dumplings, and a gourmet meat-and-rice bowl swollen with an entire cucco's meat.  Nobody dared interfere with him so long as he held the master's tray which was a gleaming black length showing the Yiga clan's symbol underneath.  The moblin walked carefully through the corridors as minions stepped out of his way with little comments he had long since ignored.

        "Halt."

The two yiga guards stood with sickled cleavers in their hands before the door.

        "I have his food," said Mohberra bluntly.

        "I can see that.  You'll have to wait, he is busy interrogating our new hostages."

        "Oh.  Well, should I wait?"

        "Yes."

        "Whut's thuh deal with these new ones then?"

        "We found some tools of alchemy on them," explained one guard tapping a sickle to her head, "they might be useful in some new weaponry but there seems to be a language barrier."

        "Oh, they're from thuh new world?"

        "Seems so," said the male guard digging a finger underneath his mask, "if we can get our weapons enhanced with a little poison or maybe some fire-edging that would really help."

        "Heh," the moblin rocked slightly on his heels whilst holding the tray awkwardly, "wonder if they could make my frying pan hot all thuh time."

        "Why?"

        "So I could just fry things on thuh go when I got no kitchen!"

        "And burn your hand whilst holding it?" said the female with patronising hands on hips.

        "Uh, no, thuh handle's stone so it don't heat up, whut you think I just stand around burnin' my hand on a stove?"

        "I...w-well I-"

        "Yeah, checkmate idiot."

        "Do NOT speak to me like that!" she warned with threatening finger.  "You are just a servant!"

        "And you can't even figure out how a frying pan works," argued Mohberra, "how many times you cut yer face with that stupid grasscutter you got, that why you all hide yer faces?"

        "ENOUGH!"

The male guard swung his short scythe to within inches of Mohberra's snout.  He stood unflinching knowing that the food he held would grant him invincibility just by holding it alone.  No one dared upset the master's food as the moblin raised an eye towards the guard who warned him further.

        "You are a scullery beast and nothing more, you lack the intelligence to be annointed amongst Ganon's pure elite!  We of the Yiga Clan know our history, we know our destined greatness, we have learnt all the dialects of Hyrule and its historia back to the days of the Skyward Princess, whilst you can barely count!"

        "I may not be smart," he replied, "but I know how to cook, an' all thuh smarts you got about history's not gonna feed ya or keep ya warm."

        "That's why we have you-"

        "GUARDS!"

They stood briskly to attention before opening the door for all three to walk in.  The master stood behind his desk with curled fingers around a small black rectangle with brownish-copper swirls of clay around its back.  Two hooded creatures stood in chains, one red and yellow, the other brown and blue trying not to move.

        "Yes master?" asked the guard.

        "Take these two imbeciles away," said the boss swiping a finger across the rectangle, "until we can properly educate them in our ways."

        "Yes sir."

        "[W-wait WAIT!]" cried Ribose.

        "[D-DON'T KILL US PLEASE]" shrieked Adenine.

        "Do NOT resist!" barked one guard with sickle to their throat.  "Behave or else you will feel my blade in your throat."

        "[N-N-NO, NOOOHOHOOO!]"

The moblin kept well clear of their frantic flailing as he moved towards the lord's desk with his tray, the door closing with an echoing thud as it shunted back down into the rocky stone.

        "Your breakfast, master Yigahnim."

        "Ahhh thank you," said he politely, "mushroom rice balls, how delightful!"

        "We found sum good ones yesterday, been a while since you had 'em."

        "Mmmmm most definitely."

The master placed his slate back in the drawer of his desk alongside a book as Mohberra stood primly to attention with hands behind his back, trying not to watch the Yiga chief push his mask higher up his head to eat with his scar-burned mouth.  He chewed away at the rice balls with ravenous intent, savouring the rich faux-meaty texture that crumbled in his mouth like bread.

        "A good morning for you?" he asked the chef.

        "Sure is," he replied, "Chuson's got nuthin' to report."

        "How is he?"

        "Fine, he's pretty bored when he got nuthin' to fix."

        "Hmhmhm, the sword becomes rusty underneath the rising sun."

        "Yeah, sumthin' like that.  Didya get anythin' outta those two?"

        "Unfortunately no," said Yigahnim, "they...glllk, they do not speak Hylian so I tried to show them some pictures on the Sheikah slate.  It bore some better progress I admit."

        "Liz told me a ship crashed two days ago?" asked Mohberra with a foot against the wall.

        "Yes, a search party went and brought back those two."

        "Just two?!  From a whole ship?!"

        "The scouts said there were more people, possibly but they seem to have not returned."

        "You think they got killed?"

        "No.  The guards were dealt with easily, I believe they are just gathering supplies this ship may possess, I've sent another party out last night to investigate."

Mohberra gazed around the room with struggling urge to resist smacking his lips, which suddenly became dry out of his growing nerves next to his boss eating away at his plates.  The rice balls disappeared soon enough as he wiped his mouth with a handkerchief before starting on the soup, then ending on the full meat-and-rice bowl with simmering juice staining his charred lips.

        "M-mmmmhhh, MMMMHHH wonderful, what flavouring is this?!"

        "Spicy pepper and armoranth," replied the moblin, "gives a real tough-but-sweet flavour that dances around on yer tongue."

        "Certainly does, mmmmph!  A-almost TOO spicy!"

        "I know you like it hot master."

        "Y-yes, indeed I...h-hoo, HOOOO!"

He kept on eating the spiced chicken which blended exceptionally with the rice to fill him up, forced to turn away from the moblin when he felt the sting of tears to his eyes.  In one of those moments, Mohberra pulled out a blank toothless key with the handle wrapped in cloth, pressing it into a hot candle's flame before Yigahnim turned back to eat more of his food.  He made certain it was extra spicy this day as his boss turned away again with a heaving cough and burning pupils giving the moblin enough time to bend down and slide the blank key into the drawer's keyhole.  He turned it a few times, slowly clicking uselessly against its lock which sizzled against the heated metal before standing up and hiding it away.

        "Mmmmph...d-done."  The clan master put down his emptied bowl.  "That was absolutely rhapsodic, thank you."

        "Glad to hear!" replied Mohberra.  "You always make me feel good about cookin' food."

        "It is an art I sadly am not privy to, yes.  Now, off you go."

        "Yes master Yigahnim."

Collecting the tray and all the cutlery he went back to the kitchen.  His heavy sigh of relief echoed through the stone as he cut through the beasts in after-breakfast march to their posts and placed all the dirty cutlery in the sink where Lizanaich was working.

        "I got it," murmured Mohberra.

        "Wait s-seriously!?" he rasped back.

        "Mmhmm."  He showed the key which now had the lock's internal shape burned into it as black marks where the hot steel had made contact.  "Now all I gotta do's is cut out thuh rest."

        "How does Chuson even KNOW that kinda shit?!"

        "Cuz he's smart I toldya, he knows everythin' about uh buildin' houses an' how to enter 'em when you got no key."

        "He's sure handy," said Lizanaich crossing his arms, "fer a guy who's got no hands even.  So, we really gonna do this?"

        "We already have," said Mohberra solemnly picking up a tray of food.  "Now we just gotta hope she'll come back."

        "You really think she will?"

        "I know she will.  I trust her, don't you?"

        "I dunno about trust Mohb, I mean you're the only guy I really trust."

        "R-really?"  The large pig-beast cocked his head with perked ears.  "Not even thuh girls?"

        "Nettie's not exactly experienced," said Liz scratching his head with a wet rubber glove, "her mom can't even handle some blood without puking all over the place, but you can do anything in this kitchen."

        "N-not...anythin'," muttered the moblin scratching the floor with his toenail.

        "Well I say you can.  Anyways you go feed the new people I'll get to washing."

        "Alrigh'...thanks Liz."

With the lizard waving him off, Mohberra lumbered towards the prison cells as the lizalfos stood waiting outside the bars.  The guard rolled his conical protruding eye from the side at the approaching cook with two plates of vegetables, meat and spice flavourings to offer a complete lunch.

        "Why we even botherin' to feed these shits?" said the reptile snapping his tongue at a cockroach.

        "Cuz we need 'em to make stuff fer us," replied Mohberra.

        "Can't really make stuff if they don' understand us."

        "We'll figure sumthin' out."

        "[LET US OUTTA HERE PLEASE!]" cried one of them from inside.

        "[Dude shut up!]"

        "[We haven't DONE anything please, I promise we won't say anything!]"

        "SHUDDUP!"  The lizalfos turned to thrust his spear violently through the bars frightening both hostages.  "BE.  QUIIIIIET, ZIP YOUR LIPS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

        "No need to shout at 'em," muttered the moblin, "come on lemme in already."

Reluctantly opening the cell door, the guard watched the chef saunter his way in with two plates of food before placing them on the floor.  The hooded newcomers stared at him from beneath their cowls as the moblin did his best to mime with fingers at his mouth and rubbing at his tum.

        "Food.  Eat, mmmm-MMMMM-mmmm!"

        "[You think it's poison?]" mumbled Adenine.

        "[We can always find out,]" said Ribose, "[you got your toxicometer still on you?]"

They crawled forwards with cuffs clumsily inhibiting their sleeved bodies, digging into their pockets to each bring out a small thermometer-looking device that they prodded into the food with.  The moblin watched curiously as they took their readings of his food, finding the only acid in it to be that of sodium chloride.

        "[Seems legit!]" said Ade happily.  "[I-i think he just wants to feed us.]"

        "[Alright,]" replied Bose, "[you go first.]"

        "[What why me?!]"

        "[Well the food's gotta be fine right?]"

        "[So why don't YOU eat it?!]"

        "[O-oh yanno, friends first don't want you to starve.]"

        "[That's bull you're using me as a guinea pig aren't you?!]"  Adenine jabbed his finger at Ribose with clanking chains.  "[I remember what happened the last time, yer not foolin' me!]"

        "[Oh, GOD!]" ranted Bose clasping his hood over his beak.  "[I told you for the last TIME what happened to Sir Snufflebun was NOT my fault!]"

        "[We were almost BEDSHEETS when the boss found out!]"

        "HEY!"  Mohberra put a stop to their bickering with a firm shout, pushing both their plates towards them.  "Eat up, yer food's gettin' cold!"

        "[Let's just eat it together,]" said Bose.  "[Come on, on three.  One...two...THREE!]"

They both ate up together, mentally preparing a suicide pact for the next twenty seconds as they swilled and chewed the food round their beaks before gulping.  Nothing happened, no burning pains, no sleep-filled sensations as they sighed with relief, and tucked in gladly with their food much to the moblin's delight.

        "Theeeere see, yer okay arentcha?"

        "[O-oh, god this is so GOOD!]" whimpered Adenine.

        "[J-jeez it is!]" mumbled Bose.  "[Okay, whoever made this we have GOT to get back at the base.]"

        "[Yeah, maybe we can recruit one of them?!  Uh, hey, did you make this?]"

Mohberra looked at them before Adenine tried to do charades, pointing at the moblin, mimicking a stirring pot and then pointing at the food.

        "OH, yeah I made that," he replied with a finger to himself.  "You like it?"

        "[I LOVE it!]" said Bose with two thumbs up.  "[Thank you!]"

        "Huhuhah, glad ya like.  Now eat up, I gotta get these plates back."

He encouraged them to keep eating, and once they were done he carried his tray back towards the kitchen to leave the two prisoners be.  Sighing with warm bellies they looked towards the walls noticing someone had scratched tallies into the stone indicating someone had been here before them.

        "[Hey, look at this,]" Ribose pointed to the marks, "[Last guy was here for about thirty-four days.]"

        "[At least we got fed,]" said Adenine, "[hhhhaaaaa jeez that food was good.]"

        "[Right, I mean that guy seemed nice but we can't let our guard down, we just have to sit tight and keep looking for a way out.]"

        "[Yanno, this is just basically karma for when we kidnapped Kevin.]"

        "[Don't even start with that,]" said Bose flipping a hand towards his friend, "[you don't think I see the irony in all this?!]"

        "[I'm just saying!]" squabbled Adenine with clinking shrug.  "[I really hope they come rescue us.]"

        "[They let us stay with them for years, what you think they're not gonna come?]"

        "[I dunno...maybe I'm just...trying not to get my hopes up cuz our last boss would never rescue us.]"

        "[Kevin is different.  Kevin's a good guy, all of them.  They'll come for us bro.]"

The two alchemists sat and waited, digesting their breakfast as Ribose looked over to the tallied marks with a sinking feeling that he would be breaking the record of the last prisoner who came here.  There was a feather drawn out beside them as he wondered what significance it meant five weeks ago.