This Forsaken World

By Mantrid Brizon

Episode Twenty-One: Questions & Answers

Sitting beside her bedroom window, just before noon, Augustine turns her eyes away from the small, black, leather-bound book, peering through the glass and gazing at the streets below. She watches the men and women of Searchlight as they construct a series of barricades, using bags filled with dirt, and piles of sticks and logs to fortify the tower base as well as they can. Alongside Tyson, she watches her mother, who departed the tower to hear his report on their progress, and issue him a series of instructions. At April’s request, neither Augustine nor Grey attempt to leave the penthouse; she fears for their safety during future attacks, and she herself plans to remain exposed only as long as she must.

With a heavy sigh, Augustine rests her head on her forearm, which is draped across a kneecap, drawn close to her slender form. When will it all end, and when will she be able to breathe easily? Is there even a light at the end of the tunnel, or will it merely be more tunnel? As the tension grows within her, she yearns for comfort. Though he’s only in the next room, she misses Grey, who’s presence always soothes her. Marking her place and setting the book aside, Augustine rises from the small bench near her window, heading for the hallway. The soft footfalls of her pawlike feet are barely heard in the hall, and only the clicking of her toe claws are easily heard.

Approaching the door to the bedroom that Grey shares with her mother, Augustine prepares to knock, only to pause when she hears his voice coming from inside. Her feline ears prick, and she turns her head. It sounds as if he’s speaking to someone.

“Huh... That’s strange.” She murmurs.

On his knees, at the edge of the bed, Grey clasps his hands together. With elbows on the mattress and head bowed, he meditates on the previous day’s battle, and the road ahead. What’s in store for Searchlight? What’s in store for April and Augustine? The first question is merely a courtesy; he only has two people on his mind. Taking a deep breath, he slowly exhales, trying to calm his nerves.

“I know that I’m not a worthy soul, none of us are, and I’m sorry for all of my wrongs. I’ve tried to walk your path and do what you wanted, but now I’m lost. It’s growing dark... This whole mess with the people in the swamp is spiraling out of control and I’m scared... I love April, and I love Augustine like she was my own. I can’t live without them, and I don’t want to. I don’t know what the plan is, but I just want them to be safe; I want us to still have a life together. You say ‘ask and you shall receive’, well, I’m asking. Please... I could really use your guidance right now...” He speaks aloud.

He waits and waits, but nothing happens. Grey turns his eyes toward his military butt pack, mounted to his black web belt and left atop an ottoman at the foot of the bed. Perhaps there’s a passage in the small, leather-bound book that’ll help him? Crawling a few feet along the floor, he approaches his pack and pulls back the zipper, opening the compartment. He digs around for the little book, but it’s nowhere to be seen.

“... The hell?” He furls his brow in confusion.

“Grey?”

Turning toward the familiar voice, the human sees Augustine poking her head inside of the bedroom, her sapphire eyes turned toward him and a concerned look on her face.

“Hey. What’s up?” He says as he rises from the floor.

“I heard you talking to someone... Are you okay?” She asks, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just... Thinking.”

“You know how I detest liars.” The voice suddenly speaks.

Its abrupt return startles Grey, who wasn’t expecting to hear from Him again. He turns his head, looking toward the ceiling. He opens his mouth to speak.

“Who said that?!” Augustine gasps, drawing her pistol in a panic.

Grey immediately turns toward the girl, seeing her shaking hand as she steps back, looking to and fro.

“Who’s in here?!” She asks Grey.

“No one.” He replies.

“Don’t lie.” A frightened Augustine answers.

“Hey. Look at me.” He speaks softly, stepping closer. “I’d never lie to you, or your mom.”

“P-promise?”

“I promise.”

Grey slips his arms around her, giving her a hug as she lowers the pistol. He kisses her cheek, feeling her shivering.

“I swear I heard someone else in here, though.” Augustine remarks.

“Maybe you did.”

“What?! But you said no one was in here!” She grows frightened.

“Do not be afraid, Augustine. You are not in danger.” The voice speaks again.

“W-who are you?! Come out!” Augustine whimpers.

“You can hear Him?!” A shocked Grey asks.

“Who is that?!” She asks, clinging tightly to Grey’s torso.

“Irvine calls me ‘the voice’, but I am much more than that. I am all that ever was or will be. I am the Creator, the force that powers this world, and I have been watching my creations very carefully.”

As the voice speaks, Grey can feel Augustine trembling. She hides part of her face against his collarbone, as if she were a little child hiding behind the leg of her mother. Keeping his arms around her, he gives her a squeeze, hoping to comfort her as best he can.

“I apologize for this world, but it is not forsaken, and neither are you. I have seen every possibility, and I am forced to call upon you.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Augustine replies.

“I have previously used Irvine to carry out certain tasks; I have spent years preparing him and leading him here. Now that you are in Searchlight, I must ask you to aid him. The current circumstances would prevent his success, and therefore prevent the survival of Searchlight, and your family; I need you and your mother to join him. April will be returning soon, and both of you need to convince her to travel with you. Leave Tyson in charge and take April into the swamps. I will guide you toward Fiona’s home.”

Augustine is stunned as she hears the bellowing voice speaking. Though it’s loud and powerful, there’s a warmth to it that she cannot explain. However, her skeptical mind causes her to doubt.

“How do I know you’re not just one of Grey’s friends, playing some kind of joke on me?” She asks, looking around the room.

“It is true that I am one of Irvine’s only friends.” The voice quips.

“Hey...” Grey grumbles.

“But the Creator is the friend of all. I knew you before your birth, and we were friends then.”

“If that’s true and you’re so powerful, then why don’t you do something?! Why don’t you ever stop all of this?! Why do so many people have to get hurt and suffer?!” The pre-teen demands.

“To do as you ask would erase free will. Everyone has the ability to choose their path, to write their destiny. It is not always the path I wish for them, but it is their choice. Even Irvine has disobeyed me, and the consequences are entirely his burden to bear. This world is the result of rampant cruelty and unrepentant sins. I weep for all of the fallen, but to prevent one crime, to force one act of kindness, would defeat the entire purpose; you are all allowed your choices. However, there is a greater purpose in store for Searchlight, and your family. I need your willing assistance and obedience, so that your story will not end here but carry on, into the vast expanses.”

Augustine turns her head, looking up at Grey. With a warm smile, their tight embrace and subtle nod, he is very assuring. However, the fear of the unknown freezes her in place. She has no idea what to say, think, or do. Is this even real or is it all just a dream?

“Augustine...” The voice speaks softly.

She turns her head toward the ceiling and her ears twitch. Grey no longer hears the voice, but Augustine reacts to something. Her brow softens and her eyes well with tears, but not of sorrow, pain or fear. She sniffles, taking a hand and rubbing beneath her pink, feline nose. The girl no longer trembles in fear, her body relaxing. Grey can see and feel the change, his arms still around her in a comforting hug. Why can’t he hear what’s being said? Does the voice have something special to tell her, something that he shouldn’t or can’t know?

“Alright...” Augustine sniffles. “What are we supposed to do?”

“Speak to April. She is returning now.” The voice answers, replying to both her and Grey.

Nodding her head, Augustine pulls away and moves toward the bedroom door, returning her pistol to her jacket pocket. Following the pre-teen, Grey emerges from the room, directly behind her.

“Hey...” He says, resting a hand gently upon her shoulder. “What happened? What did He say?”

“He told me something... He showed me something beautiful. Something meant just for me. I’m sorry I never believed you.”

“It’s alright. Half the time, I didn’t believe me either.” He smirks.

As they stand in the hallway, they turn their heads, responding to the familiar sound of a key inserting into a lock and swiftly turning the tumblers. Opening the door, April enters the penthouse.

“Oh! Hey, you two!” She chirps, flashing her family a warm smile as she locks them in. “They’re about done with the barricades, so now all we need to do is sit and wait. How about a movie?!”

“They’re almost done, huh?” Grey asks, giving his lover a hug.

“Mhm!” She nuzzles his cheek with her snout, giving him a little kiss. “Tyson and the other team leaders have nearly cut off the city center, and everyone has been briefed, armed, and told to prepare supplies for the worst. Hopefully that doesn’t happen, but I don’t know what else to do.”

Kissing his lover passionately, Grey holds her slender form tightly, stroking her cheek with his pointy nose. April seems to purr as he showers her with the usual amount of affection, which she always absorbs like a dry sponge. Augustine approaches the couple, hugging them both from one side. April turns her head toward her daughter, noting the nervous expression on her face.

“Is something wrong?” She asks.

“I love you, mom.”

“And I love you too, sweetheart.”

“And you know I love you too, sugar.”

“Of course!” She chirps, looking between her lover and daughter. “What’s going on, little bear?”

“I have a plan... We have a plan.” He begins, taking a deep breath. “We should speak with Mama Fi, before this gets out of hand.”

“Do you think I should send scouts?”

“No. We should go ourselves.”

“But... We don’t know where Mama Fi lives.” April points out.

“I know, but we’ll be guided there.” He retorts.

“I don’t understand...”

“It’s true, mom! We’ll be shown the way!” Augustine interjects.

“We?! Who said you’re going?!”

“All three of us can make the journey. We can stop this before it’s too late, sugar.”

“Where’s all this coming from?!” April asks in shock.

“The voice returned.”

“Huh?”

April pauses, taking a moment to reflect. It suddenly occurs to her, as she remembers her first few days bonding with Grey. The very night he sat at the foot of the bed in the spare room, crying over Monica’s loss and his failure, he revealed the nature of the voice. Proclaiming it to be the words of the Almighty, April did not believe a word, but out of her love for Grey, she brushed aside her skepticism. The human might have been eccentric, even a little crazy, but he’s a well-meaning, thoughtful, kind and generous man, who embraces her fiery passion and returns it in spades; he loves her the way that she’s always wanted to be loved, and she cannot live without him.

However, this bizarre belief in the voice is growing worrisome, even downright dangerous. How could he allow her daughter to be sucked into his delusions, allowing her to risk her safety as well as theirs? For their love, April cannot bear to reject the notion outright, unwilling to upset her human companion, but perhaps if she questions him, he might see reason? Augustine is another matter; pretending to hear the voice to please Grey doesn’t sit well with her.

“So, we’re just going to be led to Mama Fi’s front door by this supernatural being? Is that what’s going to happen?” April asks, trying not to come across as condescending.

“... It sounds like crap when you say it.” He murmurs.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we just sent out scouts, with a flag of truce? We can hold our people back until then, can’t we?” She poses.

“It’ll be too late, mom.” Augustine insists.

“This is not a dream or a hallucination or a mental disorder. This is real, April. The voice is how I knew about your past, how I knew about Trapper. The voice led me to this place; it let you here, but without speaking. The voice brought us together, and it’ll keep us that way... Our people aren’t all we have to worry about; we’ll never be able to mediate this through others. We have to do this ourselves or we’re going to lose everything. I can’t lose you, and I can’t lose Augustine. I need you; I need our family.” He speaks, staring into her sapphire orbs with watery eyes.

“Irvine, I...” She sighs, growing fearful. “I just don’t know about this.”

“Please.” He kisses her cheek. “Just hear me out.”

Leaning in, Grey begins to whisper. Augustine watches, cocking her head as Grey repeats the words spoken to them by the voice. As April listens to him speaking, hearing him whisper a word-for-word recitation directly from the voice, her arms shiver and pull tighter around her family. She nuzzles Grey’s cheek and sniffles, a tear escaping an eye as he comforts her with the knowledge of their future. No sooner has he finished whispering, he kisses her cheek, then her snout and then her lips. They share a deep, burning passion, and Augustine steps away, giving the lovers some space. After some time, they finish their kisses, and stare longingly into each other’s eyes.

“Please, sugar... Don’t risk them. I need you to trust us. Trust me.”

With shaking breath, April sighs, closing her eyes as she nods her head.

“Alright... I’ll trust you.”

Pulling away, April gives her daughter a hug and kisses her head.

“I guess we should pack then.”

“Yeah. Pack light, mom.” Augustine replies, giving April a hug.

April leaves the pair, heading for the bedroom to collect her pack and some survival gear. After a pause, Grey follows behind.

“Hey.” Augustine stops him.

“Yeah?”

“Did you have to tell her everything?” She asks.

“She needed to hear it... It’s sort of a judgement call. You’ll understand if He decides to use you.”

“Right.”

“Oh! I don’t suppose you know where my little black book went, do you? It wasn’t in my pack.” He asks.

“I, uh, ‘borrowed’ it. I didn’t see a copy in the study.”

“Oh... Isn’t there another word for ‘borrowing’ without permission?” He smirks.

“Not if I planned to return it before you noticed! ... Did you want it back?”

Grey pauses, stroking his beard as he ponders her question.

“Nah... You can keep it.”

Joining his lover in their bedroom, Grey and April pack their things and ready their weapons, while Augustine does the same. With the sun reaching its zenith and their meager supplies affixed to their bodies, the trio make their way downstairs. Their boots and shoes echo in the stairwell as they walk methodically toward the lobby. Entering the main corridor and turning toward the front doors, across the lobby, April hesitates. She turns to Grey, who stands to her right.

“Are you sure about this, little bear?” April asks, a look of apprehension on her face.

“Trust us, sugar.” He smiles, taking hold of her hand.

“It’ll be okay, mom.” Augustine assures her, gripping April’s left arm.

“Alright.”

Taking a deep breath, April carries on, walking between her lover and her daughter and emerging from the ground floor of Searchlight Tower. Making their way through the main street, they reach the barricade, where Tyson and a score of men work.

“April! Grey! Augustine?! ... Where are you three going?” Tyson asks.

“We’ve got something we need to take care of.” Grey replies.

“Oh?”

“We’re going to find Mama Fi and negotiate. You take charge.” April instructs.

“... What?” His face becomes blank from his shock.

“Keep the peace until we get back, alright? We shouldn’t be gone long.” She continues.

“See you soon, Tye!” Augustine chirps.

Walking past the flabbergasted Tyson, who isn’t even sure how they’ll find Mama Fi’s base, he blinks and shakes his head, as if that might break the hallucination that he feels he’s just witnessed.

“Where are they going?” A scout asks, standing beside Tyson.

“I have no idea...”

“So... What should we do?” The scout asks.

“Keep working. Build the barricades, and monitor the civilians.” Tyson instructs.

Walking along the street, April adjusts the shoulder straps of her pack, turning her eyes toward her lover. Seeing her watching him, he flashes her a warm smile. April fidgets with her shoulder straps, worried that the dense, canvas straps and metal clips will cut into her beloved white and brown bodysuit.

“Here.” Grey suddenly stops. “Let me carry the weight for you.”

He reaches out, taking hold of her pack and pulling it away from her body very carefully.

“Thanks, little bear. You’re too good to me.” April smiles wide.

“Impossible.” He replies, slinging the pack onto his shoulders. “I could never be too good to you, sugar.”

“What about me?!” Augustine whimpers.

“You’re alright... For now.” He teases.

“Jerk.” She smirks.

Walking toward the edge of the town, they stop to look at the expanse of wilderness. To the north lie forest, and eventually swamps. Mama Fi’s base could be anywhere, and April knows it. She turns her head toward Grey and Augustine, neither appear the least bit worried about finding a figurative needle in a haystack.

“So... Where too?” She asks, the wind blowing her thick, black pigtails to her right.

“Just waiting for it.” Grey cryptically answers.

“Waiting for what?”

“There!” Augustine exclaims,

The girl points a clawed finger, drawing her mother’s attention. Turning her head, April looks into the horizon, seeing something that she can’t explain. A strong gust of wind blows from west to east, as it often does, and yet among the white, fluffy clouds is something unusual. In the distance, one cloud doesn’t move, the vapors remaining still as the others brush past it in the light blue sky. With another strong gust, a portion of the cloud breaks away. April blinks, certain that the image will fade, but it doesn’t. With a third of the cloud held in the sky, the remainder flows with the others, leaving a long, tapering point in the air.

“... The hell?” April gasps.

“Ready?”

Grey takes hold of her hand, snapping her out of her daze. She turns to look at his hand, her eyes swiftly focusing on his face and the warm smile that is always there for her when she needs it most. With a firm but comforting squeeze, he silently assures her of their future, and April’s strength returns.

“Are you alright, sugar?”

“Yeah... Yeah, I’m alright. Let’s go.” She smiles and nods.