\n Chapter 16

\n "Hey, start packing up.  We're landing soon."

\n "Already?" Jayden asked with a yawn, shaking his head vigorously to try and recollect his wits, "It hasn't been two hours, has it?"

\n "They just told us over the intercom that we'd be arriving soon, doofus," said the small otter to his left, and he felt a soft palm smack against his forehead lightly.  Everything outside the window was starting to gain velocity and somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he was beginning to feel his lunch rising.  He'd never really been one for plane flights, so he usually tended to bury himself in his work or try to catch a quick nap.

\n "Oh," Jayden mumbled, pulling his laptops cord from the socket as he began to twine white wire around his hand, "well, I guess I didn't take into account the fact that we still have to land."

\n "It is a plane, and planes do fly," the otter continued and Jayden rolled his eyes, catching a glimpse of a smile being pointed at him, "You know, Jayden, for someone who just finished four years of college, you're none too bright."

\n "Your an ass, Sean, you know that?" Jayden quipped with a playful smirk.

\n "Yea, well, you're a moron," Sean returned with a childish sneer.

\n "And you're never getting laid again," Jayden said as he stuck his tongue out and grabbed his laptop so he could close his tray.  Light was streaming in from the half shut window, making Jayden's eyes squint painfully as he opened his laptop case.

\n "Aww, come on, baby. Beautiful!  You know I was only kidding!" Sean said dramatically, making Jayden wonder why he hadn't gone to school to become an actor, as opposed to a musician.  The otter leaned across the seat and kissed the side of Jayden's lips as he slid the notebook into it's holder, miming his lips mockingly to the air as he fastened the straps.  A soft tone sounded over head and they both sat up in time to see the sign above their heads flash, instructing them to fasten their seat belts.

\n "Yea, yea," Jayden mumbled as his seatbelt clicked and Sean grabbed his hand with sad eyes.  Chuckling softly to himself, he couldn't even try to hide his smile for the sake of acting, quite like Sean did.  Kissing his lips again, Jayden leaned back in his chair, feeling the otter's fingers in between his, "you're just saying that because you knew I wasn't kidding."

\n "Yea, you're mostly right," Sean agreed, turning his head sneakily to look at the center aisle as he rubbed his snout, "it does get rather boring sleeping with the same person every single night.  Doesn't mean I don't think you're beautiful, though."

\n "You remember that time I walked in on you in your underwear and a cape?  Totally telling everyone when we get back home."

\n "It was not a cape!" Sean groaned as the plane hurtled towards the runway, the tires coming ever closer to the pavement.  The wind hissed outside the window and Jayden let slip a devious smirk as he remembered the exact day he had been talking about.  He didn't know for sure if it was a cape or not, but it'd been cute, "And, you wouldn't tell, would you?"

\n "Maybe, maybe not.  I guess it really depends how bored I get of sleeping with you."

\n Jayden had been on a plane, obviously, traveling back to his hometown with Sean, to see his mother.  Both of their graduation ceremonies had been about a week ago, but neither of Jayden's parents had been able to make it, but it didn't really bother him all that much.  He did live over seven hundred miles away now, so Sean had suggested they bring the party back home.  

\n Sean's parents had been at the ceremonies, but had gone back home, so now it was just him and Jayden who were dropping by to give his parents a visit.  Sean and Jayden seemed to do everything together, and while some would find something wrong with that, they were both perfectly content to always be in each other's presence.

\n It was kind of a funny story how Jayden had come to know Sean; almost like a pleasant accident.  Long ago, back when he had finally decided to move on with his life and take it somewhere instead of lazily drifting through the sea of days, he had found himself in quite a predicament.  The more he wanted to move on, and the more he wanted to change, the more he found himself chained to his life.  He would sit around listlessly, for hours and hours, not doing anything other than thinking the same thought, wondering what direction to go with his life.

\n Eventually, he decided to hold true to the promise he'd made himself, the promise to tell his story.  For months, he sat in his room, planning, and writing, and living the story through in his head until it was all he really knew, or all he really breathed.  It was a labor of love, but it caused him more pain than anything he'd even felt in his life.  It made him look at life, and it made him look at himself, through a microscope.  It made him see himself in ways that most people never could, or never would.  It made him realize just how flawed he was, but it also made him realize just how integral those flaws were to his being.

\n It also made him look at Francis, and made him dissect his every word, and his every motion, or every twitch, until it like he was living his life.  Because, deep down, he was.  It scared him just how much they were alike.  They had almost everything in common, right down to their debilitating inability to let go, or move on.  Never before had he laughed while crying, or felt his heart melt with a seething hatred.  He had found it funny the way some things struck you.

\n After about three months, he finished the book, and he found himself at an impasse.  He needed to move on, but still didn't know where to go, or what to do.  One day, he found himself at that old, misunderstood coffee shop, much like he'd done a lot in those days, wasting away his minutes with caffeine, the pungent scent of incense, and the intoxicating sound of a guitar drifting through the air.  But, something was different that day, something that, at the time, he didn't realize would matter so much.

\n He was reading a copy of his story for the hundredth time, wondering what to do with it, and where to go with it.  The story was done, but it felt empty, like it had no true happy ending.  Sure, he'd moved on.  Sure, he'd learned his lesson.  And, sure, he was happy.  But, since he'd reached the end, he really didn't know where to go or what to do, since he couldn't read the future.  How could he write the future of his character, of himself, when he didn't know what the future held?

\n While deep in thought, an otter sat across from him wisely, and knowingly, a guitar in his lap as he looked at the rough printed pages in Jayden's hand with a look of interest.  He then said: "Don't see many authors around here anymore.  But, I guess it's the same for me.  Musicians seem to be a dying breed, too."

\n Hours passed and seemingly endless cups of coffee were emptied as they talked about Jayden's books, and the now identified otter's songs.  Turned out his name was Sean, and, little did Jayden know at the time, but the frazzled and loose bit of broken words in his hands held the key to the rest of his life.

\n A year passed, and together they moved away to the south, near Sean's parents, to go to college; Jayden for English, and Sean for music.  It was almost like all those stupid fairy tale endings that you see in all those stupid romantic comedies, except this time, it had actually happened to him.  And, he didn't even have to debate that.

\n When college came to an end, he found himself more in love with Sean than ever before, and here he sat, hand in hand as they walked into the terminal, his laptop case slung cautiously over his shoulder.  At first, it had felt awkward to have everything that had once been outside his grasp, but, now, it just felt normal, and right, and he would never have it any other way.  

\n Since he'd met Sean, everything was different.  The air even smelled different, and sweeter.  At least, he'd think that until he stepped underneath the northern sky, where everything had always smelled like rotten seaweed.

\n There were still fears.  Of course, there were still fears, because he'd always be afraid of something, like a plane crashing into the terminal, or dying tomorrow, or even what he'd eat for dinner.  But, everyday, he could look himself in the mirror and just say, "well, I guess that doesn't really matter right now."

\n Sean kissed the side of Jayden's face and his eyebrow perked as a smile slid across his lips.  He could feel his head swimming with this amazing flood of nostalgia, and hope.  Never before had things been so intimidating, and never before had he been so sure about anything.  Five years, he told himself; they'd been together for five years.  Never before had anything felt so good.

\n As they walked to the luggage carousel in silence, the hand in Jayden's squeezed gently, almost nervously.  Their hands came untied as their belongings came into sight, and Sean lugged it to the ground, his small, deft body unperturbed by weight of their combined clothing.  It fell onto the carpeted floor with a clatter, and the handle slid out as he held it behind him.  After he found his guitar, they walked through the crowded terminal, avoiding everyone as they rushed by.  They were perfectly content with their slow, leisurely pace.

\n Jayden's mother stood at the entrance with an adoring grin, like she was about to cry.  It'd been a long time since they been able to see each other, and she pulled him into one of her motherly hugs, unwilling to let go. After rocking back and forth on the spot for a good long while, Jayden pulled himself a way, throwing Sean an apologetic glance as he was pulled into an equally vice-like embrace.

\n "Oh, I missed you two so much," she said, rambling on and on and on, just like she always did.  She talked about the family, and how annoying the apartment complex was.  It was nice to know that not much had changed in his absence.  After he'd left, he realized that moving out was probably the one thing that had saved everything he'd thought he'd lost.  Perhaps a little time and a little distance could save everything.

\n Lugging their clothes into the trunk of his mother's car for Sean, Jayden closed it loudly, watching the otter climb into the backseat.  The air here smelled even worse than he'd remembered it, but it didn't really bother him.  With a setting sun making the metallic jungle glow along the horizon, Jayden leaned over the back of the car with a smirk.  He found nothing wrong with any of this, because as Paige had once said, your happy ending only had to be happy.

\n He got into the back seat right beside Sean, feeling an odd vibrations running through his skin as he choose between his past and his future.  The otter rest one hand on his guitar and the other on Jayden's thigh as his mother started the car.  His past had followed him, but it was in all the good ways; he still had everything from his old life that he needed, and he had all the things from his new life that he wanted.

\n The bright lights of the city ran by his eyes, and floated past the car, as he looked out the windows wondering where it was that everything had begun to make sense.  It had been the moment he realized that the past collided with the future each second, giving us infinite chances to change our course and take our first step.  And, even though the first step was probably the hardest, everything became easier as you began to accept how easy it really is to do what you want with your life.  If you don't die trying, the spoils are yours for the taking.

\n Pulling into the parking lot, he was struck by how different everything was, yet how it looked exactly the same.  Nothing had changed, other than himself, and the way he saw everything.  Sean squeezed his thigh lovingly as the overhead light turned on and he stepped out, the old, battered guitar case in his hand.

\n Aside from a fresh coat of paint, Jayden felt look like he was looking at his past in colors that his memories couldn't quite remember.  Walking through the front door, they crammed into the small elevator and it jerked into life as they climbed to the third floor.  The hallway was just as hot as he remembered it, and smelled just as musty as he remembered it, and as he walked into his old home, towards his old room, he was surprised to see it was exactly as he'd left it.

\n "I moved out four years ago," Jayden said softly, throwing his laptop case onto his bed.  Sean placed the luggage in front of the closet and folded his arms as he stared at the familiar black bed sheets with a content grin, "don't you want to turn this into a study, or a media room, or something?"

\n Sean and Jayden had had some fun nights in this room before they moved away; talking about the influences of music on literature, and literature on music, or sometimes they'd just watch movies, or play games.  Just like Jayden had always done, but, every single time he did it, it still found a new meaning.

\n "Well, I don't need a gym since I am getting on in years, and you were always the one good with electronics, so I just decided to keep it as a guest bedroom.  Now, why don't you go sit on the couch and I'll get us something to drink.  You two must be tired, traveling all day and what not."

\n "Mom, we were only on a plane for two hour," Jayden said and Sean dragged him out of the room, rolling his eyes as they stepped over the threshold.  Stumbling along behind the otter, he looked between the two of them curiously, "what?  I hardly call that traveling."

\n Sean let got of his hand as they stood in the archway to the living room, the scattered light from the fan wobbling hazardously.  Jayden broke his gaze from his mother and he turned to look towards the couch, to see if anything had even changed.

\n Cocking his head to the side, he felt his jaw unhinge as Paige waved at him shyly from the recliner, her boyfriend siting on the arm in his usual jeans and t-shirt.  Jayden's father stood beside the couch, with his wife and both of Sean's parents sat to one side as Sean's friend, Ross leaned on the sliding glass doors with his frequent nonchalant attitude.

\n Paige pulled herself up from the couch and Jayden stared, completely confused as she smoothed out her skirt.  He had never seen her in anything other than jeans, so this meant it was some kind of special occasion. Damn it, he was going to kill Sean if he had known what was going on and forgot to remind him.  Now he'd have to spend the next half an hour trying to figure out what was going on without asking and looking like a moron.

\n The fox pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek, just like she was family.  She always had been, at least to him.  Jayden left the embrace and threw a glance at Sean, who was just smiling lightly.  He'd set this up; he always had that grin on his face when he played a prank on someone.  Looking over to his father and Sean's parents, Jayden waved, adding a little nod in Ross' direction.

\n "I - uh, hate to sound like an idiot, but did I forget about something important?" Jayden asked, scanning the faces for a look of disappointment like he'd forgotten someone's birthday, or anniversary, or something.

\n "It's a special occasion," Paige smirked, her hands hidden behind her as her boyfriend stood beside her, his hand resting on her lower back.

\n "It is?" Jayden wondered aloud, perking his eyebrow somewhat agitatedly, hating the fact that he had no idea what was going on as everyone stared at him, almost expectantly, "What special occasion, exactly?  Someone's birthday?"

\n "No, it's better," Sean said, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet tauntingly, like the words were right on the tip of his tongue but he was having to much fun toying with Jayden to just come right out with it.

\n "Come on," Jayden pleaded, "what is it?  Just tell me.  I mean it can't be that important if I didn't remember it."

\n "Well, you know that long talk we had a few months ago about you finally publishing your book?" Sean asked and Jayden nodded, feeling a tingling in his stomach as he realized where this was heading, "Well, it turns out that a good friend of Ross' owns a publishing company, so I just..."

\n "You're kidding," Jayden muttered, having already understood the words, but feeling like his mind hadn't quite accepted the gravity of the statement.  Sean smirked at the wolf's excitement and Jayden let out a surprised laugh as Sean shook his head.

\n "I'm completely serious," he managed to say as Jayden hugged him tightly, finally understanding where his mother got the stamina and the strength to squish someone so thoroughly.  He didn't want to let go and he didn't care who was watching as he kissed him, "Paige even commissioned an artist to do that cover picture you were talking about."

\n Relenting his grip, Sean gasped for air and shook his head as Jayden wheeled around, finding Paige right behind him, holding a matted picture in a frame.  Looking at it frantically, he held it like a precious little baby, afraid that he might hurt it.  He couldn't believe that any of this was actually happening, because he'd wanted to publish the book for years now, but he'd never actually worked up the courage.

\n "But I - I, oh God.  I - I don't know what to say," Jayden mumbled as he stared at his the frame in his hand, the reflection of his face taking up much of it.  He could feel his hands shaking and his heart racing, because he could feel one of his dreams being fulfilled.  Straight out of school and he was already publishing a book.

\n "A thank you would be a start," Paige laughed as Jayden strangled her with another hug.  Behind him, he felt his mother rubbing his back in congratulation.

\n "One more thing before I break out the guitar," Sean started and Jayden let go of Paige, turning around to look at the otter, wondering what else he could possibly do to make him any happier.  As Sean dropped to one knee, Jayden felt his heart stop and everything else ceased to matter, even in the slightest, "Will you marry me?"

\n "I was not expecting that one," Paige whispered as Jayden's jaw dropped instantaneously.

\n "Me, either," his mother said monotonously as Jayden gaped at the air, wildly trying to find his words.

\n "Yes," Jayden whispered breathlessly, pulling Sean into a long embrace as he kissed him madly, "Yes!"

\n Everyone in the room was silent, at least to the two of them.  He was sure that everyone was congratulating him, or, knowing Paige, whooping like a maniac, but he couldn't even hear them because all that mattered was this embrace.  He could feel the tears running down his face and onto Sean's back from this thing called happiness.  

\n It was something that, for a while, he feared that he'd lost forever.  But, as it turned out, there was goodness, and happiness, and beauty in everything, he just needed to take the time to look for it.  It was stupid some of the things people did when they were in love, but, at least, sometimes it was completely worth it.

\n He may never know what had gone wrong in his past, and he may never know why it had gone wrong, but he knew that it had happened, and sometimes, that's the best you could get.  Fiction was the same as reality, because it may be painful in the beginning, and it may become more confusing as time went on, but that didn't mean it was any less right in the end.

\n Life changed when he realized that each one of his breaths brought him closer to death, but he still chose only to acknowledge the life that his mortality brought.  Just like his grandmother had always told him all those years ago; there was redemption for everyone, no matter had bad they may have messed up, or how far from the path they may have strayed.  Sadly, she never told him just how long he may have to wait for his redemption, or his chance to shine.  

\n Thankfully, though, she had also taught him to hold on and never give up on what he thought was right.  In my beginning is my end, and, in each end a new beginning.  Two sayings that Jayden knew well and was perfectly content to live with.