The sound of metal scraping on stone echoed though the small cave. The man was putting the finishing touches on his sword's blade when he heard it. A long keening cry flying on the night time wind, spreading the anger and hunger of its owner. The man a scout employed by the Silver Sea Kingdom shivered and stared into the darkness lurking outside the fires glow. When the cry did not repeat he resumed his work. Arroooo!!! He sat up as the cry repeated again, this time uncomfortably close.
Shortly after the silence resumed, uneasy he sheathed his hand and a half sword and stood. Standing straight up right he stood a hair under six feet, dirty brown hair hung down and covered his eyes. Giving his head quick shake he bunched his hair together and tied it back with a leather thong. After his hair was in order he picked up his leather and chain mail vest and put it on. His dark green tunic came next over the light armor and then his belt over that. Next his sword was attached then his quiver full of arrows. He then strung his longbow placing it within easy reach. With everything arranged to his satisfaction he sat down and and while trying to relax, he started to think.
Remembering why he was out here in this Gods forsaken land surrounded by strange beasts wasn't too difficult. A few months prior a small passageway though the Crescent Mountains opened up and was quickly discovered, naturally due to the fact the mountains were thought impenetrable and thus having no knowledge of the other side fear and rumors spread like wildfire.
Even more so when a small village near the passage was discovered burned to the ground. The merchant who discovered the tragedy said he was heading to the village when thunderstorms broke out, due to the stormy conditions and high winds he made little progress. Days later he arrived to find the town completely destroyed. Soldiers sent to investigate found nothing strange, it was simply a fire caused by lighting or by accident they said.
Unfortunately many had somehow heard of the incident before the official report was released thus creating a slew of new and ever more wild rumors. The pressure to calm his citizens caused the King to began sending men though the pass, of them the majority were hired from various professions other then just the army.
Which was why he Ben Marcum answered the call of duty, or rather the one hundred gold pieces offered by the King himself. Gold for any information, pelts wood stone anything on what lived on the other side of the mountains.
Before the call for scouts arrived Ben spent his days enforcing the laws laid down by the kingsom. As a Guardsmen he was not allowed to join the dozens of men heading to the passge due to soldiers not selected had to continue their dutys. However his thirst for adventure made him leave the guard shortly after where he immediately joined the scouts gathering. Which shortly after left for the passage.
Simply reminding himself why he was out here, with the nearest human being miles away helped Ben calm down. "One hundred gold, heh with that much I could open a tavern or build a manor, hell I can do whatever I want!" He thought to himself. Before his imagination ran off with him he turned his thoughts to the present.
"Whatevers making that ungodly screech hopefully stopped for good". Unfortunately for him he soon started feel like he was being watched. Nervously looking over the fire between him and the caves mouth he placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. Arroo!!! The sudden screeching cry directly in front of the cave caused him to jump. He quickly restored his balance and kicked more wood on the fire. Holding his sword in one hand and grabbing his dagger with the other he took a defensive stance and waited. Seconds turned into minutes and yet the creature did not repeat its cry. Finally after several minutes of silence he lowed his sword but kept his dagger in the ready position.
Slowly he turned to his fire. Sheathing his sword he quickly scooped up a few scraps of cloth left aside for just this purpose while keeping an eye on the cave entrance. Reaching towards a piece of wood laying where he kicked it earlier he fashioned a touch.
Setting it alight took some doing, however the entire time nothing happened. Finally with his crude torch in hand he put his dagger away and drew his sword. Creeping towards the opening he held his sword ready and listened, nothing not even crickets or nighttime birds. He held his breath, three steps to the entrance. "Play it safe and wait or leave the relative safety of the cave". Debating the best course of action made him take a few seconds longer then usual to notice the nocturnal creatures had begun to make noise again. Carefully leaning outside he scaned the immediate area in view. Seeing nothing he let the breath he was holding out, turning his back to cave opening he began to walk towards his bedroll and fire.
It was the first of many mistakes he would make in the coming minutes.
Note this is my first upload so take it easy on me, also any tips or advice is appreciated.
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But if you want any advice, you kinda used after a little much.
For example you could have put:
'However his thirst for adventure made him leave the guard shortly after where he immediately joined the scouts gathering. Who soon left for the passage.'
Hope that helps. :)
Drake.
You have a simple and direct idea on how to start it and it flowed well. Despite being short, you set the stage for what should be coming later on and left it ambiguous enough to get some readers interested to see what will be revealed. You also didn't skimp on detail and description which helped to paint the picture of some scenes quite well.
Your story did suffer from a number of spelling errors here and there and a few moments of clumsy grammar. That is nothing that a spell checker or having a friend act as editor for you could not fix. I tend to read what I post around three or four times before posting it up, have MS Office screaming at me all the way to fix things, and making tweaks and changes to it each time. I make sure I don't get hung up on repeating a word too often, fiddling with sentences to make it flow better, and even reading some lines aloud to myself (especially dialogue). You'd be surprised how hearing it aloud can let you notice an error faster than reading it in your head.
All that aside, I like what you have here and would like to see it continue. Please try and follow through on it and make a continuation of this. I'll be there to read it if you do NI. Have fun and keep writing. :D
Thank you so much, your a huge inspiration to me and you have no idea how flattering this is.