Slowly it came to me, arrived like sunrise
With no haste it filled my world with feelings
Just as I moved to this land, to my demise
I was tumbling, tried to find meanings

I was confused
I was from another land
Saw it closed
Failed to make my stand

I didn’t know what to say or what to do
As I fell into the foreign traps of loneliness
I tried to fill the needs with thoughts of you
But I found myself lower, engulfed in sadness

I was nothing
He didn’t see my wave
Heart was clutching
It asked me to crave

The sun rose, I tried to reach it with force
The shadow of myself devoured my anchor
My inner peace began to shatter, to divorce
I wanted to come closer to you, wanted more

I did learn
Tried to act very strong
Wanted to earn
But it didn’t go long

The forming ice inside my heart stung me
Even though I am filled with lovely emotions
But slowly I began to think: Not meant to be
I never really moved from my same locations

I was hurt
Didn’t want to acknowledge it
I didn’t alert
Ones who didn’t see it

Sun reached its highest, something is not right
The light shone but without the warmth I loved
My sad side began to take over my eternal night
The thought came; I was not wanted, unloved

I faced you
But was afraid of rejection
I loved you
But I tried ridding connection

Mind began to submit, to bend, to surrender
Eyes were red, flowed in endless hopelessness
People from school ignored me, didn’t render
What I needed to survive my drowning in mess

I was forgetting
What it meant to live
To see everything
I really wanted to give

Now I only reach the sun in my mind, dreams
Can only say it to you in my sleeps, burned
Wanted to see your eyes but only saw gleams
Your heart began to close for me, it turned

I am bleeding
The ice inside scarred me
They were feeding
I fell upon my knee

The sun went farther and farther, no return
Mind and body began to froze, started the kill
I didn’t, didn’t tried to change it, forgot to learn
That there was more than this, because I was ill

One chance left
To say it to you
I was bereft
One last thing to do

Inside I was nearly dead, hope held me alive
I cried out to the sun, which had turned afar
With few words I said it, all you did was deprive
All I ever received from you was The scar

I was ready
Moments from the end
Held it steady
But got stopped, new friend

Former sun was gone, but new ascended
The school changed to another, a new light
New people descended from above, mended
My heart, was nearly gone, gave new might

A life will
I was given to improve
Heart to fill
To heal and make it move

The new sun was lighter, warmer, better
He was so friendly which I’ve never seen
I came to revelation that life does matter

Even though what I have seen and been