Sin
I wish I could be happy for other people but instead I'm completely self-absorbed in my own pain.
I got a wedding invite but I'm probably going to skip it because, to be blunt, I don't want to be reminded of what I don't have. I fought hard to try and think of other things in life than a partner, and I really don't want to risk slipping back down to the bottom of the pit. I am happy for them from afar, I just don't want to go through the ceremonies rubbing in my face how happy other people are. I guess it's a shitty attitude to have, but whatever. Just add it to the list of my many sins. I didn't choose my mental hangup. I just try to find a way to survive it.
The only question is whether to tell them this, or to make up a convenient excuse. I wouldn't want to bring up my depression to shadow their happiness, so maybe a little white lie instead, like I'm out of town then or whatever, something mundane that nobody would think twice about.
(And yes, I know it's totally narcissistic to only think about me me me.)
I got a wedding invite but I'm probably going to skip it because, to be blunt, I don't want to be reminded of what I don't have. I fought hard to try and think of other things in life than a partner, and I really don't want to risk slipping back down to the bottom of the pit. I am happy for them from afar, I just don't want to go through the ceremonies rubbing in my face how happy other people are. I guess it's a shitty attitude to have, but whatever. Just add it to the list of my many sins. I didn't choose my mental hangup. I just try to find a way to survive it.
The only question is whether to tell them this, or to make up a convenient excuse. I wouldn't want to bring up my depression to shadow their happiness, so maybe a little white lie instead, like I'm out of town then or whatever, something mundane that nobody would think twice about.
(And yes, I know it's totally narcissistic to only think about me me me.)