I got Bayonetta in the mail recently and now at chapter 5. The game is fantastic like I expected it to be. I love Bayonetta, love her to bits! Ass kicking magical woman who won't take shit is the kind of thing I was in the mood for.

Some feminists hate the game, but I count myself among the kind that likes the game. Although it could have been executed better one has to keep in mind that sex does sell. Its not right but thats how it is. She's not a two dimensional fetish model (unlike what I heard from Star Ocean 4.) the game manages to throw sex in your face thats over the top that its funny.

I'm just waiting for the male equivalent. Which by the way, I have managed to do successfully with my character the Firefigher in the Crescent City Mage Campaign: Jason Heathrowe. He's the sexy rock hard washboard thats been in a calendar, (You know, one of THOSE calenders) he's won the “gayest firefighter of California” and a local celebrity. He's a bit smarter than the lovable Jason Stackhouse of True Blood but inadvertently these two characters are similar.

I've had a lot of fun (fun meaning character development) playing with Jason's sexuality which is somewhat messed up but does not fall into the anything-that-moves bisexuality stereotype. He's not quite full on full bi more like bi-curious. He's only into one type of guy (which upon deeper psych evals is the same type of individual that is his younger brother. But nobody but me has managed to figure that out. Looks like I'll have to try harder on that one.) This guy is more messed up than he first appears. Even doubly creepy is that these two characters are a reflection of myself in some regards. Not completely of course but I figured I'd play around with a couple of things I've always wanted to do.

So, wait, am I making love to myself then? How egotistical and fucked up! Lets move on!

Limbo is a game I played at a friends house all the way through. Its a black and white scroller game on the 360 arcade. Its morbidly awesome and absolutely worth the ten bucks. I died a whole bunch and flipped shit at the spiders but man oh man does this game have atmosphere. I certainly recommend Limbo to everybody. This game is wickedly morbid. Sick as sin? Yes it is. Totally up my alley.

I borrowed Heavy Rain from a friend of mine. Actually right now I'm installing the data to my hard drive to play it. LOVED the demo so I'm pretty sure I'm going to love this game. In the same paragraph I should mention I'm borrowing Indigo Prophecy which is the 1st game. I should play Indigo Prophecy before Heavy Rain but THE GAME, IT CALLS TO ME!

James Sunderland in Silent Hill 2 haunts me. I beat this game with my friends like over a week ago and it still is freaking me out. I've had dreams, man. Dreams. Speaking about dreams. I've had one on Resident Evil 4. THAT I wrote about. I dreamed an entire novella's worth of action and wrote down as well. Not sure if it'll blossom into HUGE NOVEL OF WIN. But I'm hoping and watering the baby sprouts of this idea. Supernatural horror stuff. It disturbs me. If it disturbs me that much then its something that'll need to be

I'm slowly but surely delving into the horror genre, which is as I'm sure people have attested to in the past: I hated horror. Before you couldn't get me to sit down and watch Resident Evil. Yet last year I managed to play co op through RE5. OK, so its not as horroriffic as some of the earlier games HOWEVER it is still Resident Evil. Blood and guts and mutated beings coming-after-you-oh-fuck-RUN count as horrifying to me. I'm in a lot of campaigns centered around horror since the dungeon master loves it. I beat Silent Hill 2. I'm dreaming and writing horror. I didn't particularly sign up for this however I'm just going to roll with it for now. It makes me take those crazy nightmares and put them to something of use. Hell, maybe it'll be crazy enough to publish. We'll see.

If you can't run from it, make love with it until you like it. Thats what I've been doing. This only applies to tangible ideas and not people. I by no means am I into Rape is Love. No thanks.

And that is all at the moment. Over and out.

 August 1st I started the next book. It has no title yet. So far its going alright. Writing as if my ass is on FIRE, I tell you! FIRE! Trying to slow down a bit considering I don't need to finish the book until the end of October. So 1.5K wordcount a day is a perfect length than my previous 2K-3K a day. I think the most words I have written in one day in the last book was close to 5K. Thats serious Professional Writer Speeds right there. I have a hard time trying to manage something like 3K a day. So 1.5K is really nothing.

I updated my backloggery theme, check it out! 
On the game side of things, been playing Xenosaga Ep 1 and Persona 4. Although I'm getting the urge to finally get unstuck from FF13 and finish the godsdamn game already! Stupid boss! I switch between games so much its crazy. 

Japanese, Japanese! 
I'm still studying of course but its going slow. Trying to get through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Listening to the audio book. I've given up on the watching the news. ITS JUST TOO BORING FOR ME!!!!! Instead I read famitsu and will try scrounging around the internet for other audio stuff to listen to. I don't wanna have something read to me like I'm a dumbass. Real Shiz. Native Materials. Ya know? I am such a fan of the HP #1 audio book because the person reading it does it in different voices for the characters. Most Entertaining Thing Ever! It was such a gem finding that DL. I wish I could find more of the HP audio books!

Last three weeks have been a blur. Battling with depression isn't easy. There were some parts where I feared of being alone for so many hours. Am I being a little too honest? I'm kinda amazed how my brain loves to torture me. The things it says to make me even consider such an option. It was as if I have lost my mind. In all practicality, I did lose my mind. At least the control over it. It did remind me of what its like. I now have a very good look to use towards writing. 

Kinda like. You can write about smoking but you can't catch the intrinsic strangely hypnotic release it has unless you actually smoked a cigarette. I don't have to experience everything I'm writing about but it helps to have it to draw upon it. I now have the fresh memory of what its like to be so depressingly suicidal, the exact kind of thing I'm going to make one of my own characters to go through. So in a sense, I've got to take the bad and make something good from it. 

I also learned I need to practice mediation much more. I swear I was in that state of mind for four or five days straight. Quite taxing if I do say so myself.

Well, other than that I'm pretty damn tired. 

 I STARTED PERSONA 4! 

YAY!

About godsdamn time if I do say so myself. So far its been good. I am a fan of Yosuke's hair but so far I haven't fallen head over heels like I did with Chihiro in Persona 3 a long long time ago.

I think I'm still glowing from Willow anyways. <3~

*coughs*

Not much else is going on with me at the moment. Still writing shitloads and noodling away in my brain at the next project. My friends want to goto the beach sometime soon I hope we do. I like the beach. Well, specifically I like the ocean and the fresh breeze. I'm not a particular fan of the sun anyways.

In the last 3 weeks I've written over 40K of words. Yeah. FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND WORDS! 

The icon is for the love of doujins, doujins I can't buy because I have no monies. Speaking about money. I have seriously bought nothing since I bought those doujins. *sighs* I love my KakaSasu. and Itachi goodness. 

No! I can't afford to get distracted by fanfics. But the pull is very strong in this one!

The good thing is that I'm keeping myself well entertained and busy creating said above word count. Unfortunately if anybody was looking forward to reading it, I'm sorry to disappoint! I'm trying to write for publication meaning anything I post on the internets is considered self published meaning no chance in hell its going to get printed.

Sad times. 

Actually I'm trying to write as much material as I can so I'll have plenty of stuff to edit and polish. I don't plan on going out and playing match maker for the manuscript for another couple of years or so. 

Which means I'm taking double and triple measures to making sure my work is saved so that I do not lose my hard work. That would suck balls if I lost it!

The magic carpet ride is almost here (meaning, I return back home tomorrow) I'm sad to leave. I think we've really connected on a higher plane. I can't articulate how spectacular it was. Felt as though my eyes were opened just a little to all the great mysteries. I may have seen through slitted eyes but that doesn't mean I understand any of it. 

I kind of blush when I think about it. 

Things are pretty confusing in some areas of my life, that I can say for certain. If I had any idea what was to become of me at the start of the year, I would have laughed in your face! I had a lot of optimism and potential.

Now? I'm grabbing for any positive that comes my way. Trying not to lose hope. I used to think of myself as very pessimistic back in the day but now not so much anymore. I'm a realist, always with a plan. So when things are so damned screwed up sideways, hard to really take that I actually have no plans. 

Maybe its depression. I would not be surprised. 

I will get through this. I just think I've lost a bit of my sanity right now. 

So I've read a lot in the last week or so. A couple of novels and novellas worth. I actually plan to write a very long fandom related post on Harry Potter but sitting down and doing it right now this second seems a little out of my reach atm.

So instead I wanted to tell my journal a couple of things in bullet format!
( Read more...Collapse )

• Two days ago I spilled on my laptop for the first time, it was cereal.
•  
• Ten minutes after wards I spilled on it again managing to make the 12345qwerasz and shift key sticky.
•  
• I've spent many insomniac nights up writing and reading away on different things
•  
• Due to many insomniac nights writing my wrists hurts a lot since ergo dynamic keyboards are nonexistant on laptops.
•  
• I've not watched a single movie or anime show in teh last week/2weeks
•  
• I forget how much time has passed, its kind of jumbled together
•  
• Three ideas have sprouted to my mind in the last week when it comes to novella/script/play that I've written on and stored away until further thought.
•  
• I've already decided what I'm going to do for Nanowrimo 2010
•  
• I've had some really awesome Mage: The Awakening sessions in my Archmastery campaign
•  
• I own most copies of World of Darkness books including the main book for Mage: The Awakening
•  
• I am now considering my Portland series being longer than an epic.
•  
• I've reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows since I forgot more than half the book.
•  
• I'm debating rereading Half-Blood Prince because I can and I love Snape.
•  
• I've read a book about Japanese Women through the times. Quite fascinating.
•  
• I've read 3 novels worth of fiction and 2 novella sized stuff in the last two weeks.
•  
• When I do sleep, I still have nightmares.
•  
• I've been avoiding family much to their chagrin
•  
• I'm tired of being shafted by my family but I seriously doubt thats gonna stop anytime soon. I just want to get this move thing out of the way and move the fuck on.
•  
• I've made a video for someone but I'm not finished editing it. No I will not show you it.
•  
• I think I recall being up for 72 hours on only 3 hours of sleep sometime in the last two weeks. Time kind of escapes me.
•  
• Depression has hit me hard, but thats nothing new.
•  
• I'll be in Spokane Saturday till whenever I get everything loaded up and driven back here. Yeah, I'm going through my dead mothers things on Mother's day. The gods are playing
• a cruel joke on me.
•  
• I've not studied Japanese a whole lot. I have nothing planned once I get back from Spokane.
•  
• I have a vague idea of going back to schooling in summer.
•  
• Its unlikely I can get myself together to arrange for a quarter in Fall of this year in Tokyo. I hope to at least transfer my ass to Portland or something.
•  
• I now only need to work on my skills for getting into a Hulk in EVE ONLINE before I can 'claim' to have beaten the game.
•  
• Trying to play Chrono Triggers but the thought of turning on my ps3 is too bothersome
•  
• Its May and its 50 degree weather and I love it. The longer it stays cold the better for me.
•  
• I can't decide which I should read next: Lucanus's Pharsalia (here: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/602) or the greatest autobiography of the Renaissance era (here: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/4028)
•  
• I'm trying to write at least 250 words a day and it shows after 30-something pages of drabble, random thoughts and possible ideas. Prolly writing like 500 words but who knows.
•  
• February was the month of "Playing shitloads of games" this month's theme seems to be "Reading voraciously like crazy and writing bits and bobs"
•  
• I've seriously considered recently of taking a lot of upper level womens studies classes and queer theory for the shits and giggles at said Uni because I'm really interested in it. As for if I can actually get a degree in it (it depends)
• I think it would become useful down the road as Psychologist, writing, debate, personal enrichment. Although I basically have a certificate of sorts on aforementioned topics, just short of a class.
•  
• Tomorrow I've got a shitload of cleaning to do in prep for going and getting stuff on Saturday.
•  
• I seem to be going on a lot of tangents as of late. Its alright I suppose.

The bullets are screwed up but I can't be arsed

I have provided yet another backup and entire master list of URLs/Passwords/Blogs in my limited edition Assassins Creed 2 tin. It also contains most of my written physical Journals and physical/electronic copies of my written work over the years.

I'm sure some people are a little scared at what I'm doing but I'm thinking along the lines of being smart. If I died I don't want people to throw away what I considered to be important and toiled over. Also it includes some instructions of what to do to get a hold of the massive peoples on the internets who would wonder where I went as well.

I'm working smart for you and for my work.

Today I also reorganized some of my book collection, taking a rough count of my J-books and J-learning materials in the 60s range. There are plenty of 100 level textbooks and for some reason I have like 5 different dictionaries---I don't need so many dictionaries!!!!

herchuckness was right about clutter busting in regards to storage bins, you put crap in them store them and promptly forget you have this shit to go through. I've not used what i have in them for a long time so why do I even have it???? Chuck also posted a neat little link of the man who's behind clutter busting (I'm lazy, go look for yourself) and how it affects our emotional and psychological state with a bunch of junk around.

Personally when I see open clean spaces I feel a bit better. Currently half of my room is waist high in mostly big things although most of it is 1. books in boxes 2. clothes 3. Milk crates 4. electronics 5. Heirlooms.

I'm sure its having some effect on my health.

I'm having a good time looking through my stuff and rediscovering some of the things I've not read yet and stuff I want to sell to get more/save for that electronic dictionary or DS Lite. I've also discovered the 30 or so Nihon Journal magazines that was lucky to come across. I've spent a lot of time looking of the Keigo articles but I need to write down and practice that stuff again. I'm sure I wrote of how my classmates said "ew" of "old" magazines (oh come on its from the early 90s!) So I got most of them. My teacher and I were the ones who understood that language doesn't change drastically in 15 years and these journals were invaluable for the student. Now looking at them I treasure then twice as much considering I'm not in any formal classes at the moment.

Especially the JLPT specials, Keigo specials, short articles written in Japanese and assorted materials.

I also found a precious playstation 1 game Digimon World 3 in the Digimon World 1 case. I don't know where Digimon World 1 is. I guess there's Digimon World 4 but I haven't played it. I want to though now.

Finally: I found my half broken skateboard (I always wanted a skateboard to travel around with until I tried it out and was absolutely scared of leaving some of my face on the pavement). Basically the board part with no wheels and a broken end. I'm going to use this as a nice little shelf to hold my figures. Yes. and I'm going to only buy as many figures as I can fit on a skateboard as a limit because I'm not big into "Lets be the ultimate bestest figure collecting animuu collecting freak cuz I have more money than you Otaku WTF ever rich kid" A Skateboard I think is a great little way of adding a little more shelf space with some flair. And HELL it was FREE I found in a patch of grass. Double Plus!

I must remind myself to write up a nice post on a couple of book recommendations, Japanese related. 

I've been thinking about participating in Script Frenzy in April. I've got plenty of time to recuperate and participate I think. Maybe something on the High and Low kings of Ireland? Battles, Betrayal, Religion, maybe a little romance, something epic. I'm going in with low expectations of course. Who knows I might actually prefer writing scripts than books!

After Script Frenzy I think I want to write a sci-fi novel and/or a couple of short stories. Perhaps Galactic Space Opera? I have been storing away non-human characters for a while, biding my time.

 Then In November write Untitled Series Urban Fantasy book #2. Unless something really hits me.

Its all tentative seriously not in stone anywhere but I figure I better type this down so I don't forget.

Holy Hell, back to Scripts: I guess it doesn't take that long to read scripts but I need to expose myself to enough of them so I feel comfortable writing in this particular style. So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm allowing scripts to count for like 1/2 a book for this years big goal of reading tons more. Yay?

Looks like the busier I am the more I get done (so expect more crazy goals coming soon!)

[coming soon: my thoughts about  Neuromancer, writing, cyberpunk and high tech OHHH it tickles my bones in a good way!]

----So I didn't start in December as I would have liked but it did give me a chance to sit back and analyze other peoples writing styles, take notes, read more articles, recooperate. Oh and work slowly on my outline.

If I was actually trying to do this for a living I would be doing it wrong but I guess I want to make a great outline so I give myself some great material and hopefully get over some of the issues I ran into last time.

If I'm going to reach 100K then my new deadline should be:



Deadline March 10th Deadline



Why am I adding a lot of time? Basically I have a lot of heavy duty writing and reading classes this quarter and I'm not finished outlining.

If I don't finish then I'll just start writing with what I have and work the rest of the outline as I go. Sometimes getting the first 10K is what gets the ball moving in thinking about the book.

And no, I still don't even have a title for this series.   Maybe a certain line in the book will give me the title of the book. Who knows, it needs to be witty and encompass the whole book, no?

The second I get better (and finished with the outline) I sure am gonna take a drink and salute to starting my project, at least, the writing bit.

Now thats out of the way, I hope I can get better quickly so I can have a clearer head to do things, dammit!

I want to finish the audio project ASAP as well :O I have no idea how long that'll take. I have my eye on possibly another much smaller project for the audio stuff----Anybody fancy Elizabethan poetry? I think my knack is reading poetry outloud.

Hmm...I heard whiskey helps burn some of the crap at the back of your throat. I don't have any whiskey though.

Postscript: After days of hearing disjointed lyrics of Pokerface, I bend over and submit to Lady Gaga's ability to be catchy. I'm not saying she's awesome but I'm just admitting that she's catchy. The lyrics and sound are catchy enough to, well, be the current fad.

ジェットダイスケはレディー・ガガ のことは好きだね。　”レディー・ガガはカッコィィじゃね”　はよく考えているそうだ。　さて、何も面白いのことを書くだね。すまん～

My day yesterday

Woke up crack of noon

Surfed the internet, read.

2:30 Played Assassins Creed 2, bowl of cereal
game froze twice

5 PM Surfed Internet

looked up writing articles, surfed nano forums

8 PM Breakfast burritos! Watched Monk, decided I liked Monk's character, not the show.

9 PM surfing the internet again, check twi'er

10 PM Drink a pop, write this

10:30- 1 AM Writing.


Excerpts from Elsewhere

“Your 'now I'm really a writer' moments”

A couple of moments come to mind:
Quickly switching from a "seat of the pants" kind of person to someone who loves a decent outline thus discovering I was outlining most of my life when I thought I was "faking it out" by my alternative ways of doing things for school.

and

When I was at thanksgiving with one side of my family I haven't seen in over a year and they asked "whats going on in your world" and after the usual jabber about college and Japanese and womens studies and geeky things over the course of the evening, I told one person, a friend of my cousins who brought up writing that I was writing a novel. A hush fell over my family I found it amazing that everybody asked details about what its about, who's my MC's name, History ect ect.

Looking retrospectively at it and the fact that my family has not gone to college, some not even graduate high school or considered writing---I'm just amazed the kind of respect and acknowledgment I've received. The reaction blew me away. Its something that inspires me.
Being back with them for a couple of hours gave me the perspective that I'm doing the right thing: College, Writing, Japanese. All of it to not only get out of poverty but I know that they're cheering me on as well. I didn't expect any support or a second glance but I got all of the center-of-attention stuff and thats when I thought to myself, “Wow I really am a writer, aren't I?”

Postscript: I'm already working on ideas for a possible series set in Portland. The title of the book? No idea. Do I have a MC? Sorta I have TWO MCs and a clear antagonist. Do I know everything? Hell no. Where I'm at is printing tons of maps of Portland, visiting places where characters will meet and drink and remembering the names and the look of places in Portland.

My proposed start date on starting Book 1 of ??? is December the 10th although I might push it a few more days, who knows. As for Finishing I'm thinking February 1st. 100K to be exact. Its a reasonable time frame and thankfully this book will have plenty of outlining and brainstorming as a possible very possible good submission for publication. Naturally I won't seek publication until I have completed and edited versions of two books in this series. But for now I've got to keep focused!



“Finish the sentence: NaNo has taught me....”

To keep it simple: The awesome power of a deadline, a community, my family and that it is possible that I can actually write a book.

My 2Ka day, 15 Day Mad Rush-A-Thon is actually working. Staying up until I reach my goal works real well into making myself write faster so I can get to bed faster.

Classical Music = pwning awesomeness of concentration music. Right now its Chopin.