When I was writing that last blog post about crying and reading, I went to Google and started typing in, “why do we cry when we read?” But before I had gotten past “Why,” Google gave me a drop-down menu of questions that might be on my mind.
why do cats purr?
why is the sky blue?
why is my poop green?
why am I still single?
O autocomplete, how I love you! Google claims it’s not trying to write poetry. Well, actually, its explanation of how autocomplete works doesn’t even raise the possibility. Ask how autocomplete works, and it tells you about algorithms and other users’ search activities.
But I’m not the first person to catch on to this secret. Search for autocomplete poetry, and you’ll find more examples.
I decided to see what sort of poetry other open questions would produce. (I didn’t find out until later that someone else had already done exactly that)
Like other forms of poetry, autocomplete poetry reveals something about the world. It reveals a world of lonely people searching for answers
about the elusiveness of fame and fortune
where is my refund
where is Chuck Norris
and how we act the way we do
why would you work for
why would you buy me that
why would you wear shorts in winter
Ask when, and your period is likely to be late
when can you get pregnant
when can I take a pregnancy test
when can babies see
when can babies eat eggs
when can I take a pregnancy test
when can I get pregnant
when can I file my taxes
when can I claim head of household
when would a servicing liability be recognized
when would I be due
when would my due date be
when would implantation bleeding occur
when do you ovulate
when does the time change
when does the narwhale bacon*
when do babies start teething
*at midnight, fyi
But if you follow the when with did, you’re probably doing you homework
when did the titanic sink
when didHawaii become a state
when did slavery end
when did Shirley Temple die
Where do is associated with animals, for some reason
where do fruit flies come from
where do penguins live
where do polar bears live
where do bed bugs come from
A single word can make a world of difference.
Why do suggests alientation
why do Indians smell
why do dogs eat poop
why do cats purr
why do men cheat
while why do I evokes personal shame
Why do I sleep so much
Why do I fart so much
Why do I sweat so much
In why do they, the they turn out to be the arbiters of language
why do they call it the clap
why do they call it black friday
why do they call it the birds and the bees
why do they call coffee joe
Why does makes human connections
why does she hate me
why does she like me
why does she love me
why does he do that
why does he like me
why does he ignore me
While why won’t targets technology
why won’t my kindle fire turn on
why won’t pinterest invite me
why won’t my itunes open
why won’t my ipod synch
My favorite? How big.
how big is an acre
how big is the universe
how big isrhode island
how big is a cord of wood
Could have been written by William Carlos Williams.
Giving Up The Ghost 