You see what I do to these poor people?
Title: Education
Fandom: Eyeshield 21
Characters: Takami and (technically) Otawara
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references
Summary: Otawara finds out that Takami is gay. Stupid questions ensue. Patience is tested severely.
Author's Note: This is entirely Frankie (
hinas_otaku)'s fault, as are so many things I do.
"Yes, the rumors are true. Yes, I am gay. Yes, that means I like to kiss boys. Yes, that means I like to sleep with boys. No, I do not like to sleep with girls. I've never tried. Because I don't want to try. Do you want to try sleeping with a boy? There you go.
No, I am not interested in wearing women's clothing. No, wearing women's clothing does not make you gay. Stop worrying about it, I promise it doesn't make you gay. No, I am not going to wear makeup. Being gay is not the same thing as being a woman. I like my hair like this. No, it is not girly, thank you. That has nothing to do with it.
No, I am not the girl in the relationship. There is no girl in the relationship. Being a gay man means that there are no girls involved. No, not even if one asked me politely. Not even if I was drunk. Not even if she was drunk. No, that is not true. Not all gay sex works that way. No, I am not going to explain gay sex to you. You can Google it. Well, it's not my fault the school library has Safe Search on.
Because it's not important for you to know. Because you're straight. Well, if you ever decide that you might be you can find someone who already is gay and he can walk you through it. No, you do not have to pick one, you can do it either way. Not if you don't want. No, I am not going to discuss your sexuality with you. Because I have homework, and we're on the subway.
No, I do not think you might be gay. Because you're too simple to function outside the comfort of heteronormativity, and I think this is just like that time I decided to take up painting and you did too.
No, I would not like to have sex with you. Because you aren't gay. No, not even if you were. Because I'm not attracted to you. Because you're not my type. Because I am not attracted to every man I see just as most straight men are not attracted to every woman they see. No, I can't always tell who else is gay. Sometimes. No. No.
Look, this is your stop. No, I don't think you should tell your mother we had this conversation. Yes, I know she likes to hear about your day. I think you should tell her you had a nice ride and we talked about your homework. Because I don't want my mother to get a call from your mother.
No, I do not think that she would be all right with it. Because I'm not allowed to talk to you about things that might confuse you. Because it always ends with me spending my entire train ride explaining trivial details to you that you will promptly forget about anyway. No, I don't remember what we were talking about either. Tell your mother I said hello. Off you go, now. Take your book bag. Don't break the turnstile. I'll see you tomorrow."
Fandom: Eyeshield 21
Characters: Takami and (technically) Otawara
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references
Summary: Otawara finds out that Takami is gay. Stupid questions ensue. Patience is tested severely.
Author's Note: This is entirely Frankie (
hinas_otaku)'s fault, as are so many things I do."Yes, the rumors are true. Yes, I am gay. Yes, that means I like to kiss boys. Yes, that means I like to sleep with boys. No, I do not like to sleep with girls. I've never tried. Because I don't want to try. Do you want to try sleeping with a boy? There you go.
No, I am not interested in wearing women's clothing. No, wearing women's clothing does not make you gay. Stop worrying about it, I promise it doesn't make you gay. No, I am not going to wear makeup. Being gay is not the same thing as being a woman. I like my hair like this. No, it is not girly, thank you. That has nothing to do with it.
No, I am not the girl in the relationship. There is no girl in the relationship. Being a gay man means that there are no girls involved. No, not even if one asked me politely. Not even if I was drunk. Not even if she was drunk. No, that is not true. Not all gay sex works that way. No, I am not going to explain gay sex to you. You can Google it. Well, it's not my fault the school library has Safe Search on.
Because it's not important for you to know. Because you're straight. Well, if you ever decide that you might be you can find someone who already is gay and he can walk you through it. No, you do not have to pick one, you can do it either way. Not if you don't want. No, I am not going to discuss your sexuality with you. Because I have homework, and we're on the subway.
No, I do not think you might be gay. Because you're too simple to function outside the comfort of heteronormativity, and I think this is just like that time I decided to take up painting and you did too.
No, I would not like to have sex with you. Because you aren't gay. No, not even if you were. Because I'm not attracted to you. Because you're not my type. Because I am not attracted to every man I see just as most straight men are not attracted to every woman they see. No, I can't always tell who else is gay. Sometimes. No. No.
Look, this is your stop. No, I don't think you should tell your mother we had this conversation. Yes, I know she likes to hear about your day. I think you should tell her you had a nice ride and we talked about your homework. Because I don't want my mother to get a call from your mother.
No, I do not think that she would be all right with it. Because I'm not allowed to talk to you about things that might confuse you. Because it always ends with me spending my entire train ride explaining trivial details to you that you will promptly forget about anyway. No, I don't remember what we were talking about either. Tell your mother I said hello. Off you go, now. Take your book bag. Don't break the turnstile. I'll see you tomorrow."