Only YOU Can Prevent Plagiarism
Gashi soshite aisatsu, everyone! I'm afraid Takusan Kangae will not be joining us, because it is Muse Appreciation Day. No it's not. He just told you that to get off work. Yeah, I know, but I decided to throw him a bone. He's been working hard lately. Really? How much have you written? Oh, I think about...here, let me see. *Flip flip* Twenty-four pages. Wow. This was just since Wednesday? Hai. I told you. Is it any good? Well, I think it is, yeah. Mind if I take a look? Why not. Here you go. Arigatou. *Flip flip* Hmm...interesting...this looks like some good stuff. Arigatou, that's really nice of- wait a minute, who the heck are you, anyway? Who, me? I'm Touzoku. Do you have this on disc? Yeah, I have a disc, hang on...by the way, what does Touzoku mean? Oh, nothing, it's just a name. You know, like Kenny or Spatula. Oh, okay. Here's the disc. I have another one somewhe- spatula? Hai. Is this compatible with Microsoft Works? I do all my typing on Word, but it should be. You do know that a spatula is a kitchen utensil, right? Right, right. Can I take a quick look at your hard drive? Well, I don't see why not...hang on. Are you sure Touzoku isn't a real word? I could swear I've heard it before. No, I'm positive. It's just a name. Do you live anywhere near a train station? There's one right across the street. It seems like it would be annoying, but you really don't notice it at all after a while. Unless a train passes during the most crucial part of your favorite show, of course. I see, fascinating.Do you have white-out and a permanent marker? On the shelf there. Why? Oh, I don't know...in case I wanted to, say, write my own name over someone else's. Hypothetically. Oh. Well, there you go, on the very top of the shelf. I can't quite reach it...do you have something I can stand on? Sure, I have my English to Japanese dictionary right here. *Thump* Oh crud, I dropped it. Hang on. Oh, dang it, one of the pages is wrinkled. Here, just let me fix this. Uh, that's really not necessary. I can just, um, jump up and get it! Oh, don't be silly. Just let me smooth out this page and- hey, wait a minute! Touzoku is a real word! What? No it's not! That, um, that says "popcorn"! No it doesn't. It says (Touzoku: n. thief, robber.) See? Hey, how about that! I never would've guessed. Well, arigatou for solving the mystery of my name. I have a train to catch. Adiosu! Get back here, you lying, cheating, manipulative baka! (You called?) Takusan! Get that creep with the orange text! (Um...okay, sure. Hey, Mr. Creep?) Can't talk! Running! (*Punch*. Can you talk now?)
Did you get him? (Hai. What did he do?) The thieving baka tried to steal my manuscript! I was just having a friendly conversation with him, and all of a sudden, he takes off with my book! He tricked me! Can you believe it? (I really can't leave you alone for an hour, can I?) Shut up! Um, excuse me? (What do you want?) I'd like an ice pack for my lip, if possible. Takusan? (Yes, Sasori?) I'll need two yards of duct tape, a cantaloupe, and a tin of mahogany shoe polish. (I'll get right on it.) Arigatou. Um, guys? Hello? Can you untie me, please? This is really uncomfortable...hello?
Aikou kara Sasori! (And remember kids, plagiarism is wrong!) HELP!
THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
-Why they put hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
-Telemarketers who call you and then put you on hold immediately afterward.
-Alien abductions. If aliens are so brilliant that they can travel hundreds of thousands of light years to reach our planet and take members of our species back to their ships to study and operate on, why do they only take the really stupid people?
QUOTE
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock. ~Found on a bumper sticker