Timbuktu and the Subconscious Mind

Gashi *pant pant* soshite *pant* aisatsu, everyone *pant pant pant* Whoo! Okay, I'm alright, I'm alright. Yeesh, I had no idea what a long run it is from here to Timbuktu and back. That took forever! (Actually, you were only gone for about two days.) Whatever you say, but when every minute counts, it sure feels like forever! (She was trying to set a world record.) I didn't make it! Can you believe it? What a waste of a perfectly good Monday! (I thought you hate Mondays.) I do, but if I wasn't running to and from Timbuktu at the time it would have been better. (True.) Well, anyway, I'm back now. So, what happened while I was away? Did you update for me, Takusan? (Uh...well...I was kinda busy with...stuff...) Aw, man! You didn't update the blog? *Sigh* Well, you can tell everyone now. Did anything interesting happen? (Actually, yes! *innocent grin*) Takusan Kangae...what did you do? (Nothing, I swear! She just showed up out of nowhere! I tried to get her to come back later but she was very insistent and, and...SHE GAVE ME CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES, SASORI! I HAD NO CHOICE!) Whoa, wait a minute! Back up! Who is "she"? (Oh, Sasori, darling!) (I tried to warn you...) (How's my favorite link to the outside world?) Takusan, will you come here, please? (Sure, what?) *hits Takusan with 2005 edition of Guiness Book of World Records* (OW! What was that for?!) YOU LET MY SUBCONCIOUS IN HERE?! HOW COULD YOU?! (I told you! Cookies!) (That's my Sasori, always the little ray of sunshine!) Kumori Shuga. We meet again. (I know, isn't it lovely? It's so nice to see you again, darling.) Cut to the chase, Kumori. What are you doing outside my mind? (Oh, I just needed a little fresh air. It gets terribly stuffy up there in your brain. You should use it more often.) (Hey, she does use that brain! I make sure of it!) (I know that, silly! You give that inspiration to me!) And you, Kumori,  are supposed to give it to me! That's why I haven't been inspired lately! TAKUSAN! (What? I didn't know she was gone! Most of the time she just says "sure" or "I'll get right on it" and I leave! She didn't answer, so I thought she was just being lazy!) (That's not very nice, Takky.) (Stop calling me that!) Alright! Are you two finished? (Yes, Sasori.) Good. Kumori Shuga, I'm going to have to ask you to get back in my brain and continue relaying ideas to me like you're supposed to. (That doesn't seem very fair, now does it, Sassy?) Don't call me that. Ever again. (And while you're at it, I'm Mr. Kangae to you!) Don't push it, Takusan. (Sumimasen.) I know it doesn't seem fair, but that's the natural order of things. Now get back in my head! (No.) Excuse me? Did you just say "no"? (Oh, you're in for it now, Kumy.) (Don't call me that.) Takusan Kangae? (Yes, Sasori Katana?) Would you get me a rope, please? (I would be honored. Would you like me to lock all the exits as well?) Would you? That would be greatly appreciated. (Excuse me? Isn't anyone paying attention to me? You should probably be outraged, or something...peeved, at the very least.) Oh, we're plenty peeved, Kumori Shuga. Plenty. (Hold still, now...) (Now, wait just a minute here, you two! You can't imprison me like this! I don't want to go back in there! No! It's dark and stuffy and cold and-unhand me, you cretin! Let go, do you hear me? I don't want to go back! Please, I can't go back into the dark! NO! YOU CAN'T! I'LL NEVER SURVIVE IT! I HAVE A MANICURE AT 12:00! LET ME-)

Much better. I think that just about takes care of that, don't you? (Yes, I must agree. It's certainly much quieter out here now.) It's a good thing the conscious and subconscious minds are unconnected, or I'd have a massive headache right now! (Lucky thing for you. I still have to put up with her, though.) Don't worry, you've done just fine so far. (Arigatou, Sasori.) Well, that concludes today's report! We'll see you next time at Sasori's Rock! (Adiosu!)

JIENDO