And my hair is too short to let down out the window...

I've been alone in the house for several days because everyone who lives here isn't anymore. They've migrated to our friends-of-the-family's house and are staying there, and I am not, because I don't feel like staying there for a week when I have my kitties here.

The only human contact I have had is when I took the trash out and waved to the mailman, and when I mowed the lawn and consequently talked to Strange Neighbor Man Called Bill for a while becasue he flagged me down to tell me it looked like the fender had fallen off on the left side. Well, the fender looked like it had fallen off because it had fallen off, which I noticed when I climbed onto the damn thing in the first place, because I didn't have to lift my leg over as far. I figured this was fairly obvious, but I thanked him anyway and considered asking him to tell his daughter please not to look at me through my bedroom window just because my curtain has fallen down and I can't put it back up (I can only assume this is why she does it, because I'm fully clothed and not doing anything interesting when she does), but decided against it.

My dad dropped by and gave me some dishwasher detergent because I called him to ask how things were going and mentioned that I was out, which was nice, but he didn't come in to say hello. He just dropped the box on the counter and split.

I feel kind of like Rapunzel, or some other princess locked away in a tower waiting for a prince to come and rescue me, and my captor only comes up to leave me food while I'm asleep so I never see him and my only friends are the songbirds and the myriad cats running around and the crazy neighbor man who doesn't understand my pleas for help and only wishes to inform me that the corner block of my tower is coming loose. One day a prince will, in fact, come and save me (because that is how these things work), but with my luck he will be my brother.

"Yo," he will say as he flings open the door with a dramatic pose, "you've been here by yourself with the critters for like, a week. You wanna come to the beach with Jake and me? We have Fruit Rollups..."

"Oh, brave knight!" I will cry, clutching my lace handkerchief as I fall to my knees in a ladylike display of feminine weakness, "Oh, my sweet savior! Thank you, for I have spent many months locked away in this fowl tower and the strange neighbor man's daughter spies on me by night and is beginning to distress me somewhat, and I fear the cats may chew my ankles off if I am not careful, and I grow weary of these dank walls and the musty scent of catfood and week-old incense! Please, will you carry me away on your noble steed to a land faraway where I can be forever free? I will weave you doilies as tokens of my appreciation, as I have learned by watching Martha Stewart reruns these past weeks!"

And then he will blink in stupor for a moment and slowly, carefully close the door and back away, calling "...the car's idling, if you still wanna come with," over his shoulder, and I will be alone forever more.

Or maybe my friend Vince will save me, but I hope not because then I will have to marry him because we are not related and that is how that works. And he will be rather distressed, because he has a girlfriend and so do I, and his will want to kill me and mine will want to kill him. Or maybe Noah will drop by and offer to take me to the movies but he will not have any money and since I don't either, he will have to accompany me in my land of solitude and boredom. I suppose that will be better than watching Martha Stewart by myself.