And I thought Kirk/Spock was a weird one.
Okay, so I was just reading through the 
1sentence claims list, looking for pairings I like, because all the little single sentence drabbles are fun to read. In doing so, I came across what is, without a doubt, the strangest, most outlandish and totally groundless pairing I have ever seen in my life.
Detective John Munch of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit fame.
And Helen of Troy.
Yes, that Helen of Troy. The one from Greek mythology. Daughter of Zeus and Leda, wife of Menelaus the king of Sparta. The one who was abducted by Paris, bringing about the Trojan War. You know the one.
Just think about that for a second. Here, I'll type it out for you again so you can look at it and be as confounded as I was.
John Munch/Helen of Troy.
I, personally, looked at the screen, did a double-take, stared, and gazed off into the corner of my room with my face made up into what I'm sure must have been an impressive likeness of the time I told my father I wanted to see about possibly joining the local UU church. After holding this expression for several minutes, I made the grave mistake of looking back at the screen, only to have my eyes light once again upon those words, nearly brain-damaging in their sheer bizarreness, causing me to blink stupidly for a minute or two.
Guess what I did next. No seriously, go on, guess. You'll never get it.
I clicked on the link.
Not only did I click on the link, I read the first sentence. Want to see it? No, no you don't, but here it is.
"1. Air -- The air was thick between them with tension, and not the kind either of them liked or were used to; Helen was carrying Paris' child and things hadn’t been quite right between them since the news."
Yes. You read that correctly. It is not a joke; this person actually wrote 50 sentences for the pairing John Munch/Helen of Troy. And not only did they write 50 whole sentences for this pairing, they wrote them in a serious manner. I'm not a masochist, but I'm willing to bet that the rest are as bad as the first.
I still can't get over it. Detective John Munch and Helen of Troy. Think about that! That is someone's OTP! Look, I won't lie; I support some rather off-kilter pairings myself, and I've seen cross-fandom fic before. I can handle strange pairings. To each their own. But...John Munch. And Helen of Troy. I cannot even begin to process the concept behind this pairing.
For the rest of the day, I am going to have the image of Helen and Richard Belzer glaring at each other with a potent mixture of regret, betrayal, and bruised love burned into my brain. Do you have any idea how difficult it is going to be to watch the Bears kick the Colts into the ground with that sticky interfandom mess hovering about in my subconscious?
I keep thinking that I've hit fandom's rock bottom, and then someone throws me a pile of crackfic that ruins my whole Sunday. This should no longer be happening to someone who spends as much time on the internet as I do. Christ on a pogo stick, I am this close to becoming a hermit just so I don't have to put up with crap like this.
Oh, and Jame? I'm not yet sure in what way, exactly, but this is still somehow your fault.
1sentence claims list, looking for pairings I like, because all the little single sentence drabbles are fun to read. In doing so, I came across what is, without a doubt, the strangest, most outlandish and totally groundless pairing I have ever seen in my life.Detective John Munch of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit fame.
And Helen of Troy.
Yes, that Helen of Troy. The one from Greek mythology. Daughter of Zeus and Leda, wife of Menelaus the king of Sparta. The one who was abducted by Paris, bringing about the Trojan War. You know the one.
Just think about that for a second. Here, I'll type it out for you again so you can look at it and be as confounded as I was.
John Munch/Helen of Troy.
I, personally, looked at the screen, did a double-take, stared, and gazed off into the corner of my room with my face made up into what I'm sure must have been an impressive likeness of the time I told my father I wanted to see about possibly joining the local UU church. After holding this expression for several minutes, I made the grave mistake of looking back at the screen, only to have my eyes light once again upon those words, nearly brain-damaging in their sheer bizarreness, causing me to blink stupidly for a minute or two.
Guess what I did next. No seriously, go on, guess. You'll never get it.
I clicked on the link.
Not only did I click on the link, I read the first sentence. Want to see it? No, no you don't, but here it is.
"1. Air -- The air was thick between them with tension, and not the kind either of them liked or were used to; Helen was carrying Paris' child and things hadn’t been quite right between them since the news."
Yes. You read that correctly. It is not a joke; this person actually wrote 50 sentences for the pairing John Munch/Helen of Troy. And not only did they write 50 whole sentences for this pairing, they wrote them in a serious manner. I'm not a masochist, but I'm willing to bet that the rest are as bad as the first.
I still can't get over it. Detective John Munch and Helen of Troy. Think about that! That is someone's OTP! Look, I won't lie; I support some rather off-kilter pairings myself, and I've seen cross-fandom fic before. I can handle strange pairings. To each their own. But...John Munch. And Helen of Troy. I cannot even begin to process the concept behind this pairing.
For the rest of the day, I am going to have the image of Helen and Richard Belzer glaring at each other with a potent mixture of regret, betrayal, and bruised love burned into my brain. Do you have any idea how difficult it is going to be to watch the Bears kick the Colts into the ground with that sticky interfandom mess hovering about in my subconscious?
I keep thinking that I've hit fandom's rock bottom, and then someone throws me a pile of crackfic that ruins my whole Sunday. This should no longer be happening to someone who spends as much time on the internet as I do. Christ on a pogo stick, I am this close to becoming a hermit just so I don't have to put up with crap like this.
Oh, and Jame? I'm not yet sure in what way, exactly, but this is still somehow your fault.