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My Mom's Christmas List

My mom has written what I consider to be the best Christmas list of all time. You all need to read it, because it is awesome. In her own words: "Everyone keeps asking me what I want for Christmas. Well, here it is."

Lisa’s Christmas List, 2006
 
  1. I’d like the President to end the war in Iraq.
  2. I’d like a Barnes and Noble franchise.
  3. I’d like my 11-year-old son to stop saying “just a minute” whenever I ask him to do something.
  4. I’d like a heated driveway so the snow won’t stick.
  5. Liposuction
  6. Good skin
  7. Groceries delivered to my door.
  8. Free gas for a year.
  9. I’d like cranky Republicans who can’t keep their own families together to stop telling everybody else about family values.
  10. I’d like Rush Limbaugh to stop talking.
  11. I’d like national health care for all.
  12. I’d like a can opener that doesn’t stop working after two months.
  13. I’d like a beach house in Mexico.
  14. I'd like to be stalked by Johnny Depp.
  15. I’d like a self-cleaning garage.
  16. I’d like to see a cure for cancer in my lifetime.
  17. I’d like to go to England to see all the castles.
  18. to Egypt to see the pyramids.
  19. to ride a mule to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
  20. to go down in a mini submarine to view what’s left of the Titanic.
  21. I’d like to discover a long-lost treasure while diving.
  22. I’d like the fighting to stop in the Gaza Strip.
  23. in Ireland.
  24. in Africa.
  25. in Congress.
  26. I’d like telemarketing to be declared illegal in all 50 states.
  27. I’d like to see justice for all.
  28. I’d like stock in Coca-Cola.
  29. I’d like to have myself cloned.
  30. I’d like a loft apartment in Chicago and free lifetime passes to the Art Museum.
  31. My own radio station.
  32. Row A tickets to a Rolling Stones concert.
  33. Lunch with Oprah.
  34. An original Van Gogh.
  35. A Tempurpedic Swedish Sleep System.
  36. My own art studio.
  37. A law degree
  38. and socks.
She also says she expects to get an awful lot of socks.

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