Deer Mice and Dating Muses

Gashi soshite aisatsu, and welcome to Sasori's Rock! (Konnichiwa!) Well, on the "stuff that actually happened to me, no kidding" subject, I liberated a deer mouse yesterday. (You didn't actually find it, though.) No I didn't, but I'm staying in a house with three small children- (And one big child) -that like to snoop around. They found the mouse in one of the bedrooms and came to get me because I'm the resident animal expert. (I think they just wanted you to see it because they had nothing better to do than alert the presence of a small, furry creature to everyone in the house.) Shut up, this is my blog. Anyway, they all wanted to kill it, but I trapped it in a candle holder and let it outside. It was in shock, but it ran under a bush when a car drove by and scared it. (Some guy walked by and stared at her because she was sitting in the grass talking to a mouse.) I was trying to revive it! The poor thing had been shrieked at, threatened, and nearly eaten by a cat. It was in pretty bad shape by the time I got to it. (And then they locked you outside.) Hai. That's how things go around here: save an innocent animal's life, get locked out of the house. (Harsh.) You're telling me. (How did you get back in?) Luckily, the big child came and unlocked the door after beating away three little kids who were trying to prevent my reentry to the building. (Do you think he'd be mad if he found out you were referring to him as a big child?) Probably. His name is Alex, and he's not a big child, he's a teenager. Sumimasen if you read this, Alex, which you most likely won't. (I see you've decided to be honest with yourself and admit that nobody reads your blog.) Hey pal, it's your blog too! (Oh yeah. Dang, we're unpopular, aren't we?) Well, three people read it. My best friend Saranie Lisi, her muse Shousetsu Ongaku, and my grandmother Doris. (What about Amarini Kawaii?) The world's most irritating muse reads Sasori's Rock? (Hai. Well, she read the one yesterday, at least. And she's not that annoying.) Don't make me laugh. She takes three hours to apply her makeup, she's afraid of geckos, and she punctuates her sentences with words and phrases such as "like", "oh my gawd", and "totally awesome", something that I absolutely cannot stand. (You know, it's not necessary to be rude to the girl I'm going on a date with behind her back. It's mean.) The girl you're going on a what with? (Oh, I really should not have said that.) You're dating Amarini Kawaii? You? I can't believe it. I just can't be- somebody pinch me, I must be having a nightmare. (Oh, knock it off! You just don't want me to be happy. You know what I think it is? I think you're jealous because you don't have a boyfriend, that's what I think.) Well think again, baka. I can assure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will never do or say anything that could possibly make me even remotely jealous. Angry, hai. Irritated, hai. Disturbed, hai. But jealous? No way in heck, pal. (All right, I get the point! You don't have to rub it in, you know. And besides, we're just going to a movie! It's not the end of the world!) I'm starting to think it might be. I should right that down somewhere. Forget caterwauling cockroaches, friends; the first sign of the apocalypse is Takusan Kangae getting a date. (Yesterday you were giving me advice on how to get dates!) But not with my archnemesis! I swear, sometimes you can be so dense. Look, if you want to go out with the princess of Beverly Hills, that's okay. I can accept that. But I don't want any details, got it? (Got it. No problem.) Arigatou. Okay, now that we've resolved that issue, I have to go scan the house for deer mice. We'll see you next time at Sasori's Rock! (Sayonara!)

Aikou kara Sasori! (I still think you're jealous.) HAHAHAHA!