Say what you will, but I can keep a deadline
Title: Before My Soul Would Rest
Fandom: Young Justice
Characters/Pairing: Superboy, the team, Black Canary
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,877
Summary: It's Mother's Day, and clones don't have mothers. The team unwittingly helps Superboy come to a decision.
A/N: "And it came to me, and I knew what I had to have before my soul would rest. I wanted to belong - to belong to my mother. And in return - I wanted my mother to belong to me." - Gloria Vanderbilt
Superboy stood at attention in the briefing room alongside the rest of the team, awaiting instructions. When Batman did show up, he hardly paused for effect, and didn't even bother putting anything up on the view screens.
"As you all may know, today is an Earth holiday," he began. "As a consequence, you will all have the day off, barring emergency. I will be in contact in that event. Dismissed."
With that, he turned and walked away. The rest of the team filed out of the room, chatting amongst themselves; Superboy trailed behind them, confused. An Earth holiday? He mentally flicked through all the holidays he knew, but today wasn't on the list.
Out in the living area, they ran into Red Tornado. Robin and Wally barely had to share a look before they pounced and wrapped their arms around their supervisor's broad, metal torso. "Happy Mother's Day!" they shouted in unison.
Everyone else laughed. There was a long pause, and finally, "Thank you," Red Tornado said in apparent defeat. Wally and Robin ran off, snickering.
M'gann lingered at Superboy's side while the others made their separate ways. "What's Mother's Day?" he asked. At least M'gann wouldn't laugh at him for not knowing.
She smiled up at him. "It's a day for humans to honor their mothers! I learned about it from a movie. You're supposed to spend time with your mom, give her gifts, and--" she looked briefly puzzled, "I think it's supposed to involve breakfast in bed, but it's a little late in the morning for that. We don't celebrate it on Mars, but I'm going home to introduce the holiday to my family!"
"Oh," said Superboy. He didn't have much else to say to that. He didn't have a mother. Was there something… "Are you…supposed to do anything if you don't have a mother?"
M'gann's face fell. She placed a hand on his arm. "Oh, Superboy, I forgot. I didn't mean--"
"It's okay," he said quickly. He didn't like it when M'gann was upset.
She smiled tentatively. "If you're sure. No, I don't think there's anything you're supposed to do." She looked down. "You could…come to Mars with me. I think we'd have to get you a special suit, but…"
"I should stay here and do some training," Superboy said, because he had the sudden intuition that he couldn't stomach watching M'gann be happy with her family and celebrate a mother who loved her. But M'gann looked troubled again, so he forced a smile. "Thanks. You should - you should tell them I said hi."
M'gann beamed. "I will." She squeezed his arm once and floated away.
At a loss, Superboy wandered down the hallway with no particular destination in mind.
---
Robin's door was ajar, and for whatever reason, Superboy felt compelled to hesitate as he passed by. "Hey, Supey," said Robin, without looking up from tying his shoe.
"Hi," said Superboy. He found himself standing there in silence, feeling dumb, because he wanted to ask, but…
"What's up?" Robin was looking at him now with an easy smile and eyes he couldn't see.
"Nothing," said Superboy, and then, before he could think about it, "What are you doing today?"
If Robin was surprised by the question, he didn't show it but to shrug. "Going to see my mom. I'm gonna bring her some flowers."
Gifts. M'gann had mentioned gifts. "What's she like?"
Now Robin looked a little surprised. He got up and went to his desk, turning so that Superboy couldn't see his face, and opened a few compartments in his belt. "Pretty. Blue eyes. Really graceful, too; you should've seen--" He cut himself off and shrugged again. "She's a really good mom."
This was beginning to feel like one of those conversations that Superboy couldn't get around in without feeling clumsy and tactless. He cleared his throat. "Well…have fun."
Robin made a funny little sound that could have been a laugh, if Superboy had never heard him laugh before. "I'll try." He finished with his belt and turned back around, smiling in a strangely awkward way that was nothing like his usual smirk. "Thanks, Superboy," he said, and sounded like he meant it.
"You're welcome," said Superboy, for what, he wasn't sure, and paused for a moment before moving on.
---
Wally was in the kitchen when Superboy found him, loading up on snacks for the road. He had a mouthful of one of M'gann's cupcakes and an armful of leftovers when he turned to see Superboy standing there. "Hey, man," he greeted, masterfully managing not to spew crumbs everywhere.
"What are you doing for Mother's Day?" Superboy asked. Best to get straight to the point, right?
Wally swallowed the rest of his cupcake. "I was gonna - well, first I'm going to Belgium, and then I was gonna go out to lunch with my mom and Aunt Iris."
"Belgium?" asked Superboy.
"For chocolate! Man, have you never had Belgian chocolate?" Wally grinned; Superboy was starting to recognize it as the Wally-has-an-idea-he-thinks-is-excellent grin. "I'll pick some up for you! It's like, the best in the world or something. Belgium is good for that. And waffles. Man, maybe I should just take Mom and Aunt Iris to Belgium--"
Superboy decided to cut Wally off before the babbling got out of hand. "You're taking your aunt, too?"
"Of course, man," said Wally; his face was open with surprise, as though he would never have considered otherwise. "Aunt Iris is like my second mom."
"You can have more than one mom?" Superboy was confused.
Wally shrugged, freeing up an arm to tilt a flattened palm from side to side. "Kind of? I mean, not literally. Except in the Heather Has Two Mommies sense. But you can have somebody who's like a mother, or just as close as one, or something. And…that's Aunt Iris for me." He shrugged and tore off half a slice of cold pizza in one bite. "Anyway, I should get going. I'll totally have that chocolate for you tomorrow, dude; you'll love it." He grinned again, and took off in a flash, leaving behind a splash of leftover curry that hit the floor only after he was long gone.
Superboy wiped up the curry and turned the conversation over in his mind.
---
Artemis was in the control room, tapping intermittently at a keyboard as she read through what appeared to be a news article. "Hi, Superboy," she said, without looking up.
"Hi," he responded, and waited until Artemis's gaze flicked questioningly to his face. "Are you doing anything with your mom today?"
She shrugged, and paused to type some more. "The same thing we do every year. I got her a card and we'll hang out at home for awhile, and this evening I'm taking her to this fancy traditional restaurant she wanted to try."
Superboy felt awkward just standing there, so he moved to a console and pretended to read Javelin schematics. "Do you…spend time with your mom a lot?"
Artemis looked up at him, and he looked back with the uncomfortable suspicion that she knew exactly what he was doing. He wished that she would tell him what it was. "Sure," she said, and looked back down. "She's kind of a pain sometimes, but I guess everybody's mom is. We usually get along."
"What do you like about her?" Superboy asked, and immediately regretted it, because Wally would answer any given personal question with blithe disregard for the crassness of it, but Artemis was…different.
Still, the girl only continued typing without pause. The corner of her mouth twitched up, just once. "She's strong," said Artemis, sincerely. "And she always wants what's best for me, even if I don't always want the same thing."
Superboy nodded to himself. It…made sense. Superboy liked strong people too, and…
Did anyone want what was best for him?
"Why," said Artemis, shaking Superboy from his thoughts, "what are you doing today?"
"I don't know yet," Superboy answered. "I just…wanted to know."
Artemis looked up at him and nodded once, expressionless. Superboy watched until she looked away and then left the room as silently as he could.
---
Kaldur was in the pool, as he tended to be whenever he had time off. Superboy sat at the water's edge and watched him swim; it was interesting, like watching M'gann fly or Robin do acrobatic flips, but it made him feel…heavy.
After a moment, Kaldur broke the surface and crossed his arms over the ledge of the pool a few feet away. "Hello, Superboy," he said with a smile. "Would you like to come in?"
"Maybe later," said Superboy. It might help him take his mind off some things - or, conversely, it might help him think. "Are you going to see your mom today?"
Kaldur nodded. "There is a bit of a time difference between here and Atlantis, and my mother likes to sleep in." He smiled. "I will go to see her in an hour or two."
"Do Atlanteans celebrate Mother's Day too?" It hadn't occurred to Superboy to think about it before he asked, but now it struck him as odd.
"Not typically," said Kaldur, "but since I have the day off, I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a surface custom with my people."
Like M'gann, Superboy thought. "Are you going to give her a present?"
Kaldur nodded again. "On some other Atlantean holidays, we would give each other small gifts such as decorated shells; I thought something like that would be appropriate for the occasion."
"Do you…get along with her? Your mom?" It felt like a stupid question to ask - why else would Kaldur want to celebrate a day for her? But Artemis had said that sometimes mothers were annoying.
"Yes, for the most part," said Kaldur, smiling. "She is a good mother."
Superboy mulled that over for a moment. "What makes her a good mother?"
Kaldur tilted his head and regarded Superboy searchingly. It wasn't a judgmental look - maybe a little curious, but it made Superboy uncomfortable. Sometimes he felt like his teammates knew more about him than he did. "Well," Kaldur began, slowly, "she cares about me a great deal, and instilled in me good values and principles. She has taught me many important things."
Superboy nodded. Kaldur smiled.
"I should go," said Superboy. He felt…exposed, somehow. "I wanted to do some training."
Kaldur smiled again, gave him a small wave, and slipped back under the water.
---
Maybe it was being in the training room that did it.
Pretty. Graceful. Strong. Sometimes annoying. Teacher. Always wanted what was best for him. Didn't have to be a real mother…
Did it have to be chocolate from Belgium, specifically?
"Red Tornado?"
The robot turned to look at him, head tilting to regard the water Superboy was still dripping on the carpet from his post-training shower. "Yes?"
"Can you…" He paused, unsure how to phrase the question. "I need to talk to Black Canary. In person. Is she…can you tell me how to find her?"
"Is there a problem?" asked Red Tornado. "I would be glad to give her a message for you, so that you may talk tomorrow."
"It has to be today," Superboy said firmly. When Red Tornado didn't relent under his very best Superman stare, he wilted. "Please? It's…it's really important."
Red Tornado took a moment to consider this. "I will contact her and ask if she is available to come to the base."
"Thank you," said Superboy. "Um, happy Mother's Day."
Red Tornado paused, nodded, and turned to head for the control room.
Seashells were probably right out, Superboy concluded as he went to finish drying his hair.
---
Black Canary met him in the living area and propped a hand on her hip, regarding Superboy with an expression that fell somewhere between amused and puzzled. "All right, what's so important that I had to come out here on a day off?" she asked, and Superboy almost flinched, but she didn't really seem upset.
"Um," said Superboy, intelligently. He didn't know where to look, or how to stand; he was used to feeling insecure and out of place, but not like this. Never like this. "I just…I wanted to give you something. And it had to be today." He pulled his hands from behind his back and presented the flowers; the lady at the store had told him carnations were traditional. He'd gone through two dozen bouquets looking for the right one.
Black Canary's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. She took her hand off her hip and let it hover as though there were something she wanted to do with it but had forgotten, and after a few seconds, she smiled tightly and coughed to conceal a laugh. "Oh, Superboy…" She shook her head. "You're a very sweet boy, and I want you to know that I do care about you, but…not that way. You're a little young for me." Her smile was apologetic.
Superboy lowered the flowers, and his gaze to his own feet. He was speechless. She didn't…didn't care about him like…but he'd been so sure-- "I am?" he asked, helpless.
"Superboy," Black Canary said gently. "Please try to understand. I'm sure this is very confusing for you, and Wally's probably been putting ideas in your head…"
"He didn't," said Superboy, daring to look up to the vicinity of Black Canary's waist. "I mean, everyone did. The flowers were Robin's idea."
Black Canary's laugh was startled. "Everyone?" She seemed confused.
"I…" Superboy wanted to crush the flowers in his hands; how could he be so stupid? Just because everyone else had a mother didn't mean he just hadn't found his. He didn't have a mother - he didn't deserve a mother. He was just a stupid clone, and if Superman didn't want him, why would anyone? Superboy could feel himself frowning hard and couldn't stop. "I'm…sorry. I was wrong. I just thought--"
"Superboy," Black Canary said again, more gently than before.
Superboy exhaled raggedly and tried to control himself. "I thought - I asked everyone about their mom, and it made sense; you're just like they said! You're pretty and strong and you teach me things and you make me do things for my own good even when I don't want to, and I - I thought…" He realized dimly that he was bruising the stems of the bouquet in his fist. "There's a whole day just for mothers, and I just…thought it was you. I wanted it to be you. I'm such an idiot."
He flung the bouquet at the floor and ran out of the room, not even hesitating when Black Canary called his name urgently after him.
Superboy had only just slammed his door shut when someone knocked on it. "Superboy?" said Black Canary. He hesitated in front of the door, almost considered opening it, and dropped his hand. "Superboy, please, let me in. I want to talk."
"Just leave me alone," he mumbled, and locked the door.
There was a long pause, and Black Canary said, "Security override: Black Canary, B19."
The door came unlocked, and it was open before Superboy could stop her. "I don't--" was all Superboy could say before Black Canary hugged him.
Stunned, Superboy froze up. His blood ran cold, then hot, and he couldn't tell if it was his own heartbeat loud in his ears or Black Canary's. He tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come. All he could do was wrap his arms around Black Canary's back and try to be gentle.
After a long moment, Black Canary pulled back and smiled at him remorsefully. "Superboy, I am so sorry," she told him, her hands on his shoulders. She was holding the bouquet in one hand. "I completely misinterpreted what you were saying. If I'd known you were talking about Mother's Day, I would have been - flattered. Honored."
Superboy blinked. He couldn't respond for a long moment, because he didn't trust his voice. "You…would have?"
"Of course," she said softly. "I'm proud to have you think of me as a mother to you, Superboy. Don't ever call yourself an idiot again, do you hear me?"
He nodded shakily. Black Canary smiled. "My name is Dinah. I'd like it if you would call me that when we're not working, okay?"
"Okay," Superboy said. He felt…he felt how he always imagined it when M'gann flew, or Robin did his gymnastics, or Kaldur swam.
Weightless.
"Good," said Black Canary - Dinah. "And thank you for the flowers; they're lovely."
"The florist told me the pink ones are for gratitude and the red ones are for admiration," he said automatically, still feeling somewhat blown away.
"Really?" She smiled. "Tell me all about them during lunch. There's a diner around here I like."
"Okay," said Superboy. "I don't really know a lot about flowers."
Dinah patted Superboy's shoulder and led him down the hall. "Well, what's something you do know about?"
"Assassin's Creed," said Superboy. "And…some stuff about Belgium."
Dinah laughed. "Well, we'll definitely find something to talk about. Now, you like pancakes, right?"
Christmas had been pretty good, but Superboy decided that Mother's Day was his new favorite holiday.
Fandom: Young Justice
Characters/Pairing: Superboy, the team, Black Canary
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,877
Summary: It's Mother's Day, and clones don't have mothers. The team unwittingly helps Superboy come to a decision.
A/N: "And it came to me, and I knew what I had to have before my soul would rest. I wanted to belong - to belong to my mother. And in return - I wanted my mother to belong to me." - Gloria Vanderbilt
Superboy stood at attention in the briefing room alongside the rest of the team, awaiting instructions. When Batman did show up, he hardly paused for effect, and didn't even bother putting anything up on the view screens.
"As you all may know, today is an Earth holiday," he began. "As a consequence, you will all have the day off, barring emergency. I will be in contact in that event. Dismissed."
With that, he turned and walked away. The rest of the team filed out of the room, chatting amongst themselves; Superboy trailed behind them, confused. An Earth holiday? He mentally flicked through all the holidays he knew, but today wasn't on the list.
Out in the living area, they ran into Red Tornado. Robin and Wally barely had to share a look before they pounced and wrapped their arms around their supervisor's broad, metal torso. "Happy Mother's Day!" they shouted in unison.
Everyone else laughed. There was a long pause, and finally, "Thank you," Red Tornado said in apparent defeat. Wally and Robin ran off, snickering.
M'gann lingered at Superboy's side while the others made their separate ways. "What's Mother's Day?" he asked. At least M'gann wouldn't laugh at him for not knowing.
She smiled up at him. "It's a day for humans to honor their mothers! I learned about it from a movie. You're supposed to spend time with your mom, give her gifts, and--" she looked briefly puzzled, "I think it's supposed to involve breakfast in bed, but it's a little late in the morning for that. We don't celebrate it on Mars, but I'm going home to introduce the holiday to my family!"
"Oh," said Superboy. He didn't have much else to say to that. He didn't have a mother. Was there something… "Are you…supposed to do anything if you don't have a mother?"
M'gann's face fell. She placed a hand on his arm. "Oh, Superboy, I forgot. I didn't mean--"
"It's okay," he said quickly. He didn't like it when M'gann was upset.
She smiled tentatively. "If you're sure. No, I don't think there's anything you're supposed to do." She looked down. "You could…come to Mars with me. I think we'd have to get you a special suit, but…"
"I should stay here and do some training," Superboy said, because he had the sudden intuition that he couldn't stomach watching M'gann be happy with her family and celebrate a mother who loved her. But M'gann looked troubled again, so he forced a smile. "Thanks. You should - you should tell them I said hi."
M'gann beamed. "I will." She squeezed his arm once and floated away.
At a loss, Superboy wandered down the hallway with no particular destination in mind.
Robin's door was ajar, and for whatever reason, Superboy felt compelled to hesitate as he passed by. "Hey, Supey," said Robin, without looking up from tying his shoe.
"Hi," said Superboy. He found himself standing there in silence, feeling dumb, because he wanted to ask, but…
"What's up?" Robin was looking at him now with an easy smile and eyes he couldn't see.
"Nothing," said Superboy, and then, before he could think about it, "What are you doing today?"
If Robin was surprised by the question, he didn't show it but to shrug. "Going to see my mom. I'm gonna bring her some flowers."
Gifts. M'gann had mentioned gifts. "What's she like?"
Now Robin looked a little surprised. He got up and went to his desk, turning so that Superboy couldn't see his face, and opened a few compartments in his belt. "Pretty. Blue eyes. Really graceful, too; you should've seen--" He cut himself off and shrugged again. "She's a really good mom."
This was beginning to feel like one of those conversations that Superboy couldn't get around in without feeling clumsy and tactless. He cleared his throat. "Well…have fun."
Robin made a funny little sound that could have been a laugh, if Superboy had never heard him laugh before. "I'll try." He finished with his belt and turned back around, smiling in a strangely awkward way that was nothing like his usual smirk. "Thanks, Superboy," he said, and sounded like he meant it.
"You're welcome," said Superboy, for what, he wasn't sure, and paused for a moment before moving on.
Wally was in the kitchen when Superboy found him, loading up on snacks for the road. He had a mouthful of one of M'gann's cupcakes and an armful of leftovers when he turned to see Superboy standing there. "Hey, man," he greeted, masterfully managing not to spew crumbs everywhere.
"What are you doing for Mother's Day?" Superboy asked. Best to get straight to the point, right?
Wally swallowed the rest of his cupcake. "I was gonna - well, first I'm going to Belgium, and then I was gonna go out to lunch with my mom and Aunt Iris."
"Belgium?" asked Superboy.
"For chocolate! Man, have you never had Belgian chocolate?" Wally grinned; Superboy was starting to recognize it as the Wally-has-an-idea-he-thinks-is-excellent grin. "I'll pick some up for you! It's like, the best in the world or something. Belgium is good for that. And waffles. Man, maybe I should just take Mom and Aunt Iris to Belgium--"
Superboy decided to cut Wally off before the babbling got out of hand. "You're taking your aunt, too?"
"Of course, man," said Wally; his face was open with surprise, as though he would never have considered otherwise. "Aunt Iris is like my second mom."
"You can have more than one mom?" Superboy was confused.
Wally shrugged, freeing up an arm to tilt a flattened palm from side to side. "Kind of? I mean, not literally. Except in the Heather Has Two Mommies sense. But you can have somebody who's like a mother, or just as close as one, or something. And…that's Aunt Iris for me." He shrugged and tore off half a slice of cold pizza in one bite. "Anyway, I should get going. I'll totally have that chocolate for you tomorrow, dude; you'll love it." He grinned again, and took off in a flash, leaving behind a splash of leftover curry that hit the floor only after he was long gone.
Superboy wiped up the curry and turned the conversation over in his mind.
Artemis was in the control room, tapping intermittently at a keyboard as she read through what appeared to be a news article. "Hi, Superboy," she said, without looking up.
"Hi," he responded, and waited until Artemis's gaze flicked questioningly to his face. "Are you doing anything with your mom today?"
She shrugged, and paused to type some more. "The same thing we do every year. I got her a card and we'll hang out at home for awhile, and this evening I'm taking her to this fancy traditional restaurant she wanted to try."
Superboy felt awkward just standing there, so he moved to a console and pretended to read Javelin schematics. "Do you…spend time with your mom a lot?"
Artemis looked up at him, and he looked back with the uncomfortable suspicion that she knew exactly what he was doing. He wished that she would tell him what it was. "Sure," she said, and looked back down. "She's kind of a pain sometimes, but I guess everybody's mom is. We usually get along."
"What do you like about her?" Superboy asked, and immediately regretted it, because Wally would answer any given personal question with blithe disregard for the crassness of it, but Artemis was…different.
Still, the girl only continued typing without pause. The corner of her mouth twitched up, just once. "She's strong," said Artemis, sincerely. "And she always wants what's best for me, even if I don't always want the same thing."
Superboy nodded to himself. It…made sense. Superboy liked strong people too, and…
Did anyone want what was best for him?
"Why," said Artemis, shaking Superboy from his thoughts, "what are you doing today?"
"I don't know yet," Superboy answered. "I just…wanted to know."
Artemis looked up at him and nodded once, expressionless. Superboy watched until she looked away and then left the room as silently as he could.
Kaldur was in the pool, as he tended to be whenever he had time off. Superboy sat at the water's edge and watched him swim; it was interesting, like watching M'gann fly or Robin do acrobatic flips, but it made him feel…heavy.
After a moment, Kaldur broke the surface and crossed his arms over the ledge of the pool a few feet away. "Hello, Superboy," he said with a smile. "Would you like to come in?"
"Maybe later," said Superboy. It might help him take his mind off some things - or, conversely, it might help him think. "Are you going to see your mom today?"
Kaldur nodded. "There is a bit of a time difference between here and Atlantis, and my mother likes to sleep in." He smiled. "I will go to see her in an hour or two."
"Do Atlanteans celebrate Mother's Day too?" It hadn't occurred to Superboy to think about it before he asked, but now it struck him as odd.
"Not typically," said Kaldur, "but since I have the day off, I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a surface custom with my people."
Like M'gann, Superboy thought. "Are you going to give her a present?"
Kaldur nodded again. "On some other Atlantean holidays, we would give each other small gifts such as decorated shells; I thought something like that would be appropriate for the occasion."
"Do you…get along with her? Your mom?" It felt like a stupid question to ask - why else would Kaldur want to celebrate a day for her? But Artemis had said that sometimes mothers were annoying.
"Yes, for the most part," said Kaldur, smiling. "She is a good mother."
Superboy mulled that over for a moment. "What makes her a good mother?"
Kaldur tilted his head and regarded Superboy searchingly. It wasn't a judgmental look - maybe a little curious, but it made Superboy uncomfortable. Sometimes he felt like his teammates knew more about him than he did. "Well," Kaldur began, slowly, "she cares about me a great deal, and instilled in me good values and principles. She has taught me many important things."
Superboy nodded. Kaldur smiled.
"I should go," said Superboy. He felt…exposed, somehow. "I wanted to do some training."
Kaldur smiled again, gave him a small wave, and slipped back under the water.
Maybe it was being in the training room that did it.
Pretty. Graceful. Strong. Sometimes annoying. Teacher. Always wanted what was best for him. Didn't have to be a real mother…
Did it have to be chocolate from Belgium, specifically?
"Red Tornado?"
The robot turned to look at him, head tilting to regard the water Superboy was still dripping on the carpet from his post-training shower. "Yes?"
"Can you…" He paused, unsure how to phrase the question. "I need to talk to Black Canary. In person. Is she…can you tell me how to find her?"
"Is there a problem?" asked Red Tornado. "I would be glad to give her a message for you, so that you may talk tomorrow."
"It has to be today," Superboy said firmly. When Red Tornado didn't relent under his very best Superman stare, he wilted. "Please? It's…it's really important."
Red Tornado took a moment to consider this. "I will contact her and ask if she is available to come to the base."
"Thank you," said Superboy. "Um, happy Mother's Day."
Red Tornado paused, nodded, and turned to head for the control room.
Seashells were probably right out, Superboy concluded as he went to finish drying his hair.
Black Canary met him in the living area and propped a hand on her hip, regarding Superboy with an expression that fell somewhere between amused and puzzled. "All right, what's so important that I had to come out here on a day off?" she asked, and Superboy almost flinched, but she didn't really seem upset.
"Um," said Superboy, intelligently. He didn't know where to look, or how to stand; he was used to feeling insecure and out of place, but not like this. Never like this. "I just…I wanted to give you something. And it had to be today." He pulled his hands from behind his back and presented the flowers; the lady at the store had told him carnations were traditional. He'd gone through two dozen bouquets looking for the right one.
Black Canary's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. She took her hand off her hip and let it hover as though there were something she wanted to do with it but had forgotten, and after a few seconds, she smiled tightly and coughed to conceal a laugh. "Oh, Superboy…" She shook her head. "You're a very sweet boy, and I want you to know that I do care about you, but…not that way. You're a little young for me." Her smile was apologetic.
Superboy lowered the flowers, and his gaze to his own feet. He was speechless. She didn't…didn't care about him like…but he'd been so sure-- "I am?" he asked, helpless.
"Superboy," Black Canary said gently. "Please try to understand. I'm sure this is very confusing for you, and Wally's probably been putting ideas in your head…"
"He didn't," said Superboy, daring to look up to the vicinity of Black Canary's waist. "I mean, everyone did. The flowers were Robin's idea."
Black Canary's laugh was startled. "Everyone?" She seemed confused.
"I…" Superboy wanted to crush the flowers in his hands; how could he be so stupid? Just because everyone else had a mother didn't mean he just hadn't found his. He didn't have a mother - he didn't deserve a mother. He was just a stupid clone, and if Superman didn't want him, why would anyone? Superboy could feel himself frowning hard and couldn't stop. "I'm…sorry. I was wrong. I just thought--"
"Superboy," Black Canary said again, more gently than before.
Superboy exhaled raggedly and tried to control himself. "I thought - I asked everyone about their mom, and it made sense; you're just like they said! You're pretty and strong and you teach me things and you make me do things for my own good even when I don't want to, and I - I thought…" He realized dimly that he was bruising the stems of the bouquet in his fist. "There's a whole day just for mothers, and I just…thought it was you. I wanted it to be you. I'm such an idiot."
He flung the bouquet at the floor and ran out of the room, not even hesitating when Black Canary called his name urgently after him.
Superboy had only just slammed his door shut when someone knocked on it. "Superboy?" said Black Canary. He hesitated in front of the door, almost considered opening it, and dropped his hand. "Superboy, please, let me in. I want to talk."
"Just leave me alone," he mumbled, and locked the door.
There was a long pause, and Black Canary said, "Security override: Black Canary, B19."
The door came unlocked, and it was open before Superboy could stop her. "I don't--" was all Superboy could say before Black Canary hugged him.
Stunned, Superboy froze up. His blood ran cold, then hot, and he couldn't tell if it was his own heartbeat loud in his ears or Black Canary's. He tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come. All he could do was wrap his arms around Black Canary's back and try to be gentle.
After a long moment, Black Canary pulled back and smiled at him remorsefully. "Superboy, I am so sorry," she told him, her hands on his shoulders. She was holding the bouquet in one hand. "I completely misinterpreted what you were saying. If I'd known you were talking about Mother's Day, I would have been - flattered. Honored."
Superboy blinked. He couldn't respond for a long moment, because he didn't trust his voice. "You…would have?"
"Of course," she said softly. "I'm proud to have you think of me as a mother to you, Superboy. Don't ever call yourself an idiot again, do you hear me?"
He nodded shakily. Black Canary smiled. "My name is Dinah. I'd like it if you would call me that when we're not working, okay?"
"Okay," Superboy said. He felt…he felt how he always imagined it when M'gann flew, or Robin did his gymnastics, or Kaldur swam.
Weightless.
"Good," said Black Canary - Dinah. "And thank you for the flowers; they're lovely."
"The florist told me the pink ones are for gratitude and the red ones are for admiration," he said automatically, still feeling somewhat blown away.
"Really?" She smiled. "Tell me all about them during lunch. There's a diner around here I like."
"Okay," said Superboy. "I don't really know a lot about flowers."
Dinah patted Superboy's shoulder and led him down the hall. "Well, what's something you do know about?"
"Assassin's Creed," said Superboy. "And…some stuff about Belgium."
Dinah laughed. "Well, we'll definitely find something to talk about. Now, you like pancakes, right?"
Christmas had been pretty good, but Superboy decided that Mother's Day was his new favorite holiday.