The Right Way To Wainwright

Gashi soshite aisatsu! (Konnichiwa!) You'll never guess where we are. Canada? Wainwright, Alberta to be exact. (We've only been here for about three hours.) You seem to be settling in quite well. Well, we've actually been in the country since...2:00 a.m. Canada time, I think. (What I mean is that three hours is the amount of time we've been at the house we're staying at.) How's the weather? A little rainy, but otherwise pretty good. (I hate rain. It never precipitates in Oz, you know. Why couldn't we go to Oz?) I've heard the Emerald City lovely this time of year. Tickets to Oz are way out of my price range. Besides, we have friends here. Do you know anyone in Oz, Takusan? (Well, no...) But who's to say you couldn't have fun by yourselves? It's not that, I just- wait a minute, who the heck are you? Just a character pulled together from the dredges of your imagination. (A character that makes very clever metaphors, I see.) Thank you. Hey, all of my characters speak at least ten words in Japanese, one of which is arigatou, the Japanese word for thanks! You're not one of mine! (Yeah, what's the big idea, coming in here and pretending to be a figment of my artist's imagination? Begone, foul demon!) "Begone foul demon?" (I've been working on creative threats. How was that?) I was a bit taken aback, really. (You were? Cool!) Okay, can we get back to the matter at hand, here? Where did you come from? They hid me in your trunk at the border check. What?! Why would they do that?! New policy. They overheard you talking about your book and sent me along to make sure you weren't planning to print anything offensive about Canada. (The book is of the fantasy genre. Nothing in it involves Canada in any way, shape, or form.) It doesn't? Oh...huh. Well, that pretty much defeats my purpose in life... Oh, come on! Other offensive materials are just waiting to be sneaked across the border! You're needed back at the border! You really think so? (Of course! Why else would they have hire you in the first place?)  Well...you do have a point there. Oh man, if you're right, then I'm gonna be late! Thanks, you two! Bye! We'll, um, see you later, then... (Hai...good luck with that.) What a weirdo. (No kidding.) Well, we'll see you next time at Sasori's Rock! (Sayonara!)

Aikou kara Sasori!