Wizard Matchbooks

You're a wizard. You're really well-established in the magical arts. You can create life from non-living material, fly and shoot lightning out of your eyes. It gets to be that you think: "Hey, I'd rather spend my headspace remembering spells to shatter the boundaries between reality than how to illuminate stuff or detect an invisible something..." So you make wands or a staff and then one day it hits you. What can you carry in your pocket, with a little one-time shot of magic, easy, handy and convenient. A book of matches. Strike one, and your spell's done.

You start making simple stuff and then realise, "Hey, I could do a lot with this..."

Somewhere North: Shaggy Pigs

Shaggy Pigs are huge wild boar-like creatures that roam the northern winterlands. An adult can grow to seven feet in length, has great tusks and thick carpets of hair covering it. The most distinctive feature of the Shaggy Pig are the two sets of hind legs that it has, which allow it to run at quick speeds over icy and snowy terrain; it runs with an unusual gait and can keep a pace for many miles.

In the wild they run in packs and are omnivorous, instinctively burrowing for exotic, nourishing tubers and then chasing down wild deer – and whatever else they can find. Shaggy Pigs have been semi-domesticated by Pugs. They use them to pull their sleds, and are known to be used as battle-mounts by pairs of Pugs, who will ride with slings and short swords.

Shaggy Pig
AC as leather armour and shield, 4HD. They attack anything that looks tasty by running in and trying to gore it to death with long tusks (d8 damage). In the wild they run in packs of 4+d6 pigs; young swine are not normally found in the wild, as they are kept in a sty by the pack. Shaggy Pigs are fiercely territorial and belligerent.

If tracked to a regular feeding area, adventurers might be able to find some of the strange tubers that they dig for. Shaggy Pigs uproot them for sustenance, however they have a strange effect on non-pigs...

If eating a tuber found by a Shaggy Pig, roll 2d6:

2-3: Makes the eater appear two years younger (takes 5 minutes; permanent effect).	8: Eaten raw, mild poison; cooked CON +1.
4: As Cure Light Wounds. Mild poison if eaten more than three times (CON check or lose 2 CON for 2d8 days; if make check, 1 CON penalty for d4 days).	9: Nose grows an inch. Improved Bushcraft by 1.
5: Causes ESP effects for 8d6 hours. After a day, save vs magic every hour or collapse until effects wear off.	10: Skin emits a foul odour for d8 weeks. Soap and perfume won't cover it.
6: Resist Cold for a week.	11: Gives excellent nightvision.
7: Save vs poison. Fail and canine teeth grow d2 inches. (permanent)	12: The next time the eater sleeps they age 10 years (permanent effect).

Somewhere North: Pugs

Pugs are curious things. They are like twisted up halflings, typically short but with proportional limbs. Their faces are difficult to read, as they seem to be permanently screwed-up into disgusted expressions. A pug has floppy dog/rabbit ears jutting out from the sides of its head. Pugs wear furs and skins to keep warm and are moderately intelligent. They construct wooden buildings and are great, natural carpenters.

However they much prefer to take what they can find.

Pugs will settle in any building that they can find to ward against the cold. Out of the mountains and in the south they roam around in small bands and try to stay hidden, sneaking into villages and taking animals – even small children – for food. These small groups are outliers. Further north they teem through the mountains, whole warbands serving under Pug Warlords. Their spiritual leaders sacrifice the impure and the un-pug to draw life and power for greater and more terrible actions. It is rumoured that some of them worship Drazils and Greater Drazils, and make offerings to bring the Final Winter.

Pugs hate halflings and Dwarves. They have never been as far north as the halfling valleys (no-one has, the way is hidden) but they have taken control of some Dwarven buildings and former outposts. It is rumoured that they have found their way in to the Kingdom, but who can say for sure? It is so long since anyone has been to the Kingdom...

They are fearful of the Bridge, and will only cross it under duress or threat from a Warlord.

Around 10% of Pugs can understand human speech.

Pug
2/3HD. No armour or leather armour. Will be armed with one of the following: short sword, sling, dagger, club.

Pug Cleric
2/3HD. Leather armour and wielding a carved staff. The staff is a little awkward and big for combat (-1 to hit). A typical cleric will have two 1st level spells.

Pug Warlord
4/5HD. Warlords and their sons are big for Pugs, and can be anything up to four-and-a-half feet in height. They wear inherited chainmail and will usually wield two-handed axes or clubs to show their troops that they are tough. They are often pissed off about something.

Encounters with Pugs
When encountering Pugs in the wild, roll d6:

1-2: Small group.
There are 2d4 pugs, a third of them have 3HD. There will be no particular leader, whichever one has the most hit points will be deemed most fit to lead. Barring strange circumstances they'll have 2d20 silver between them.

3-4. Medium group.
There are 6+3d6 pugs, a third have 3HD. One person in the group will be a cleric. 50% of the time there will be a particularly big pug with 4HD, however it will be wearing leather armour and won't be the son of a warlord. A medium group will have 20+d100 silver.

5. Large group.
20+3d10 pugs in the group. A quarter of them have 3HD, including two clerics. The leader of the group will be a warlord's son, 4HD, wearing chainmail and desperate to prove himself. About a quarter in total will be willing to ride shaggy pigs in to battle, trying to sling enemies. In their booty they will be carrying 4d100 silver and 2d6 gold.

6. Warband.
Potentially, a force to be reckoned with. 50+d100 pugs, a quarter with 3HD. There will be a cleric for every twenty pugs (rounded down). The materials and possessions of the band will be carried on carts/sleds pulled by shaggy pigs. Pugs will ride pigs into a fight. The Pug Warlord in charge will have 5HD and will have two sons with him who have 4HD. A pug warband take their spoils with them in chests: 600+2d100 silver and 3d20 gold.

(Pugs have been met several times in my Somewhere North campaign)

Somewhere North: The Vaeltaja

The Vaeltaja are nomads on the snowy plains. They wander on the snow and ice, and settle in their groups for the true winter. Where else is there to go? To the city of Zelman? Ha! They care not for the cities, nor for the towns. If pressed and in need they will go to a village or hamlet to trade, but even these are strange places for some of them.

They know where to fish, where to hunt, where to hide - and they know WHEN to do all of these things too. They travel in large groups, deer and ice ponies pulling great covered sleds - caravans of men, women and children - hunters and fishers, makers and leaders, warriors and mystics. Each large group is one great extended family. Groups meet and trade (resources, rumours) from time to time. Some of them are open to travellers stopping with them, especially if they would brave the snow in true winter.

Nomad Family

There are 10d20 people in a group. Each group will have a patriarch and matriarch and this "first family" has 2+d6 members.

For every 10 people rounded up, one will be a hunter (leather armour, dagger, sword, shield, bow) and will have some responsibility for finding meat. In two-thirds of Vaeltaja families they will have people adept at fishing, and the group will have made camp around a water source. In these cases there will be one fisherman for every 15 people in the family.

There are 2d4 spiritual/clerical people in a group. They will worship either the spirit of the open plain or a particular family spirit.

Many others in the family will be craftsmen, makers, food-gatherers, bards, ostlers and armourers. They share responsibility for the community and while they do have large extended families the "family" is more of a collective than one bonded truly by blood.

Everyone over the age of 4 will carry a weapon of some kind.

What determines the family's outlook? Roll a d12.

1. Family are wary of outsiders.	7. Family speak a bizarre language.
2. Family worship an ancient spirit.	8. Family are well-armed and warriors.
3. Family possess a Dwarven treasure.	9. Family are wealthy.
4. Family rob travellers.	10. Family are keeping a monster.
5. Family have a rivalry with another group.	11. Family are poor scavengers.
6. Family recently suffered an attack on them.	12. Family are at war with a band of pugs.

How is the favourite son of the family known? Roll a d20.

1. Great Axe	6. Pathfinder	11. Firstborn	16. Knifeman
2. Singer	7. Mead-drinker	12. The Runt	17. Spirit-friend
3. Pug-slayer	8. Bastard sword	13. Mutant	18. Monster-slayer
4. One-arm	9. Farseer	14. Wolf-slayer	19. The Fast
5. Fisherman	10. Future-sight	15. Goatherd	20. The Mute

Example:
There are 111 people in the Hentunen family, a group known for being well-skilled as warriors. Arto and Liisi are the head people in the group, and they have two young daughters. An organised band of twelve hunters keeps the family in wild deer and shaggy pig flesh, and a small but skilled group of fishermen bore holes in the ice over lakes to find prized fish. Half a dozen clerics worship Kalevi, the protector of travellers. Kimi the Mead-drinker is the favourite son of the clan, known for his exploits in drinking contests.

A Chance of Snow

Every day in the frozen north brings a chance for snow. By leaving the relative safety of Rovaniemi and the surrounding villages behind, Külk and Joonas are taking a chance on the weather and the terrain. The wilds are not to be travelled without careful thought...

I had been fast and loose with the environment and weather up until now. I had always assumed that the PCs had some kind of provisions, and that they were wrapping up warm. I kept dropping hints that the weather was going to get worse though, and that heading north would lead to severe snowfall. Precautions must be taken etc.

However, I didn't want to railroad any blizzards or consequences. I wanted the weather to be unpredictable. So before the session on Tuesday I thrashed out a kind of probability-based "Fibonacci-like weather generator". A Fibonacci sequence is dependent on the numbers that came before. So the third number is dependent on the second and first numbers, the fourth number is dependent on the third and second and so on. I decided that a simple way to include this was to say that "today's weather is dependent on the previous two days, with some randomness."

Random Table: Street Performers

As you walk the streets of the city, through the markets and thorough-fares, you never know who is going to be blocking your way: trying to show you something entertaining, asking you for money, for help or just being a damn nuisance. But what do they really want? And what might they be hiding?

Roll three d10s for Performers (to see what they're doing), the Number (to see what to roll to see how many there are in the particular troupe) and Want (to see what their aim, as performers is - or possibly what they pretend to want). If the sum of the three d10s is even, then the group also have a Secret; roll another d10 for what else is going on with them.

	Performers	Number	Want	Secret
1	Jugglers	1+d2	Money	Know the location of something valuable
2	Mimes	1+d3	Food	One of them is on the run for a crime
3	Musicians	1+d4	Change	Runaways
4	Buskers	2+d4	Help	Part of a streetgang
5	Clowns	1+d6	Magic	Spies for a rival city/country
6	Actors	3+d3	Fame	The puppets of a wizard
7	Living Statues	2d4	Violence	Slavers trying to find people to kidnap
8	Poets	2+d3	Crime	Religious zealots looking to convert
9	Comedians	2d6	Nothing	Pickpockets who have settled on the players
10	Orators	3d4	Revolution	Undead/Monstrous

The Seven Hungers of Callista (Living Statues + 2d6 + Food + Part of a streetgang)
A group of seven women who stand suggestive in their stillness. Regular visitors to the market know to leave small parcels of food in the baskets at their feet, which stirs them into motion. They are the eyes and ears of the Black Ruins, a gang of muggers. They spot likely targets for their colleagues to rob.

Grimmers (Orators + 2+d3 + Help + Slavers trying to find people to kidnap)
Grimmers tell anyone and everyone that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Taxes are too high, there is war and famine and evil magic and monsters. But you can help! Help them! Please...? If you do go with them and you seem like you might be of practical value, then you'll get coshed over the head and wake up in a wagon headed south...

Buddy and the Bass Lutes (Buskers + 1+d2 + Revolution)
Buddy and his two friends sing songs to inspire! They engage people with their marching pieces, Buddy on short fiddle, Gall on bass lute and Jero on bass lute. Their songs are based on centuries-old protest chants, and have no relevance in the current age. No one listens to them, no one likes them, and no one is going to join them.

Chuckles (Clowns + 3d4 + Violence + Know the location of something valuable)
In ragged threadbare outfits, half a dozen men stalk the streets daring you to laugh. They wear big red smiles, curly rainbow wigs and floppy shoes. Go ahead, laugh. They hear so much as a giggle and they'll go for your throat. They're lean, fast and strong and looking for any excuse to hurt someone. They love their freedom: if subdued, beaten down or if more than half are knocked out/killed then they will change tack and offer their store of treasures.

Treats from The Great Bakerie

More from Merion's bakerie... Tell him I sent you!

Terminal Loaf (Elvish + Plait + Death + Intense + Instant)
Previously unknown outside of a few small Elvish communities, this is the small loafcake that immortals eat when they grow tired of life. Merion makes it out of a morbid sense of duty to the universe of baking, but only sells it to those who are absolutely sure that they want to die.
(if eaten by an Elf they will die within minutes, no save; if eaten by a non-Elf, player gets to save against Death. If the save is made they must then roll under their CON. If successful they are only knocked unconscious for three days instead of a week)

Mischief Cake (Spiced + Cupcake + Evolution + Strong + Half an hour)
A prank cake, sold usually to young children to play tricks on their elders. Whoever eats it will begin to change in appearance in some way, and will remain that way for a full day. The change takes thirty minutes. A minor counter-curse or disspell should remove the change... Unless the person eating, eats A LOT of the cakes at once, in which case changes stack and become more difficult to remove, either through time or through magic.
(d10 roll for appearance change:
1. Eyes change colour.
2. Ears grow pointed. Elves' ears shrink.
3. An offensive word forms in freckles across the forehead.
4. Little fingers bifurcate and form baby talons.
5. Prehensile eighteen inch nose.
6. Skin morphs into amber scales over whole body.
7. Loss of all body hair. After a day hair starts to grow back at three times normal rate until restored.
8. Tongue shrinks to a small lump.
9. A fox tail sprouts.
10. Two fox tails sprout.
DM gets to rule on any modifiers/in-game bonuses/penalties.)

Socratic Slice (Cream + Doughnut + Wisdom + Effective + A turn)
A huge piece of sweet hollow dough, filled with sickly whipped cream. Anyone who eats a whole one, and it takes some effort, is given something to think about...
(after ingestion, has +1 for WIS related rolls and saves for one week; anyone who tries to eat more than one in a week will automatically lose d2 points of CON. Too much of a good thing and all that)

Mementoria (Lavender + Ring + Transference + Sharp + d3 minutes)
Merion doesn't advertise these small scented ring cakes, and only sells them to people who have official paperwork for the city. He won't even tell you where he picked up the recipe, let alone how to make them. It's rumoured that he learned how to make them from the creator and then killed him. Anyhow: the cake is broken in to two uneven pieces. The smaller piece is eaten (willingly or forced) by someone who has information; the larger piece by someone who wants information. Within a few minutes the person with the information feels their mind become completely open to the other. This is a one way stream that is more like a flood (for 12 hours). It's almost certain that both participants will be rendered unconscious by the process (save-versus-magic every hour for 12 hours, or be unconscious for 3d8 hours - applies to both). The information being sought will crystallise in the mind of the person who ate the larger piece (whether conscious or not, and within d6 hours).

Random Table: The Great Bakerie

Being the first in an irregular series of random provocation tables for games of various types. In my mind when I started writing this one I just thought, "Hmmm, what kind of cakes would a magic baker sell?" It seemed silly at first, and is possibly over-written, but it's just designed to give some ideas. You fill in the blanks, and of course YMMV.

Merion is the son of a Sorceress and a Gourmet. Trained by both, he set off to find his own path in the world; after years of travel and practice he set up The Great Bakerie, a shop where he makes and sells confections that defy the natural order. There is usually a selection of cakes and pastries that have magical effects. Sometimes he has far rarer and more bizarre delights...

Thursday Tales

Making a few connections with the help of the Tales From Zero Point Oracle...
Jack of Spades: The recycled Death Scream of a world. The cult that worships it.
Three of Diamonds: A renegade librarian guards a vast archive in the station's lower reaches with dangerous traps.
Jack of Clubs: The Engineers Guild prepares an initiation and a geneered woman flees persecution.
Two of Spades: A chitinous, black mercenary arachnid alien, terrifying yet honourable guard for the elite.

The geneered woman has an artificial adaptation that is anathema to the Screamers Cult; she runs, heading for a labyrinth of learning, aided by an alien mercenary. She cannot pay him, but he recognises something kindred in her, something "right". The archive is well-protected, and if they can get past the initiation ceremonies of the Mechanikers they will have to persuade the insane old Archiver to allow them sanctuary...

Notes

• The Screamers are living mosaics and mash-ups: their appearance and speech is taken from images and sounds captured from the Dying World. They wear and speak to honour the world.
• The Mechanikers' initiations are legendary, both for the wave of innovation that follows a novice's acceptance and for the collateral damage usually inflicted.
• The Archiver does not like people returning items late. He hates it so much that people now have to prove themselves worthy of being in the archive. Few do.

The Vornheim Decision

Well... Looks like it is going to be a nice Friday afternoon...

(following on from Monday's question) (thanks again Kelvin!)