While redesigning my stream last year, I decided to compose a theme song for it. Previously, I had been playing random game music, but wanted something a little more personalized. This song combines synths, guitars, and a bit of spoken vocal work to really put the “boom” into my stream.
The Wight to Remain (4-3)
I decided I wanted to learn to play The Wight to Remain, the music from Zone 4-3 in Crypt of the NecroDancer, on the piano. Step one was scoring the piece. I’ve yet to put in dynamics in the score and what not, but this is the result.
Sadly, my 49-key KeyStudio is not enough to be able to play it with both hands simultaneously. I’m going to have to get by recording one hand at a time.
I can still remember the first time I had second thoughts.
And I can still remember the last time I had known just what I’d done.
And it feels just like I remember
And it feels just like it’s the end of September
And it feels just like I’m starting all over again.
I have not forgotten the first time there was something wrong.
And I have not forgotten the last time there was nothing left undone.
And it feels just like I remember
And it feels just like it’s the end of September
And it feels just like I’m starting all over again.
And I cannot erase the memories that I see inside every time I know that something’s gone.
And I would never change these feelings that I feel…
I will always remember everything I’ve ever done.
And it feels just like I remember
And it feels just like it’s the end of September
And it feels just like I’m starting all over again.
And it feels just like I remember
And it feels just like it’s the end of September
And it feels just like I’m starting all over again.
…starting all over again.
…starting all over again.
…starting all over again.
The Nightstalker’s “Starting All Over”
Happy birthday to me! Some much needed new hardware to finish some songs off with! Probably won’t be until next month, but in playing around with it, I can tell it’ll get some use.
I’m not happy with most of my sketches/drawings, but it’s good to try, I suppose.
I found this to be an interesting statement, as I consider Tasha’s art to be fairly kickass. Maybe that’s because I have zero talent when it comes to the visual arts, but it started to make me think about how I went about my music.
When I first started creating music, I mass-produced. Anything that sounded semi-good in my head made it into a song that I would release. Some turned out to be great (read: “Fire in My Heart”), and some turned out to be utter crap (let’s not talk about “Lifetimes”, shall we?).
Over time, my idea of quality changed. I was hearing all this music that was better than mine, and I became determined to up my game. Sure, I put out some really good songs, but they became less and less frequent.
I reached a point in time where I had an idea of what quality I wanted to make my music, and that idea was well outside of my means to make it. This resulted in a long period of no music being released. It sucked because I am so musically inclined, there hardly goes by any point in time where there is not some kind of music stuck in my head, be it my own or someone else’s. My music couldn’t get out, and that was very frustrating.
I have to credit Louigi Verona, a musician on Trax in Space, with coming up with something he called “Inspiration”, which led to me creating “Given Up (Inspiration Edit)”. It was a four-track version of a song I had attempted to record and release and failed many years ago during my quality fix. I was so happy with putting that out, that I realized something important.
My music was less about the art of perfection, and more about the art of creation.
This realization caused me to make changes in how I write music, and I have been happier putting out things like the stripped down performances and little bits and pieces of other songs I’ve been writing than spending the inordinate amount of time it would require to make full releases.
So, I guess the moral of this is that perfection isn’t always the way to go. Don’t fester around seeking the perfection you don’t have the time to attain, because that is far more frustrating than putting something out there that may not have all the bells and whistles that you want.
Do what you love because you love it. Create something, put it out there, and be happy. If it stirs the emotions of at least one person, your art - be it art that is heard or seen - will be a success.
The simplest word or phrase that’s spoken
And everything I say is broken
It’s like I’ve forgotten how this all works out
Ever since you left that cloud of doubt
And everything that I’ve remembered
Has either been returned or has surrendered
And everything that I once knew
Has been replaced by the memory of you
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And I just can’t keep on going without you
And everything that you said
It echoes in my head
And I just don’t feel like I can move on
And every place that I drive by
It always brings a tear to my eye
‘Cause ever since you have been gone
Everything just seems so wrong
And every line of code I write
And every melody that haunts me late at night
No matter how absurd or out of place
It’s all accompanied by the image of your face
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And I just can’t keep on going without you
And everything that you said
It echoes in my head
And I just don’t feel like I can move on
I miss your touch, I miss the taste of your kiss
Dear god, it can’t keeping on like this
But I know, and I’ve tried to show
That I need you more than you’ll ever know
And if there is one thing I can take comfort in
It’s knowing you feel the same way
'Cause everything that you do
Reminds you of me
And you just can’t keep on going without me
And everything that I’ve said
It echoes in your head
And you just don’t feel like it’s time to move on
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And I just can’t keep on going without you
And everything that you said
It echoes in my head
And there is no reason we have to move on
There is no reason
There is no reason
There is no reason
We have to move on
Lyrics from The Nightstalker’s “You”, circa 2009.
From 2008, this is the Inspiration Edit of The Nightstalker’s “Given Up”, a 4-track light rock song originally written in 2000. This song zeros in on a love born suddenly out of friendship by someone who hasn’t had the best of times in life. The protagonist struggles with the feeling that he has lost a friend in favor of gaining a new lover.
This is a very raw track, and almost has a “stripped down” feeling to it. There was very little in the way of post-processing, which gives this a very raw, real feeling. It also helps that this was one of my best vocal takes of this song, ever.
Lyrics:
It all happened so fast
I never thought it could last
The way that you make me feel
Is any of this for real?
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope for life
Until I found you
(…No you don’t, no you don’t…)
You don’t know who I am
But I believe I can be your man
Yet I know I must get to your heart
So tell me when do we start
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope for life
Until I found you
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope for life
Until I found you
And I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
I’ve just about given up
Given up, given up, given up
You know what you gotta do
Tell me, is this the end?
I never thought I’d lose a friend
But I know I can do this
It comes as a shock you’d actually go through with this
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope
And I’ve just about given up on hope for life
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Until I found you
Every time my eyes
Look into your eyes
There’s no other eyes
That give me such highs
And it should come as no surprise
So take me out
And then take me home
You know that you don’t
Have to be alone
For tonight and every night
If I hadn’t seen it
I wouldn’t believe it
I couldn’t conceive it
But now that I’ve found out
I couldn’t live without
There’ll never be a doubt
And what’s this I find
That I can’t get out of my mind
No matter how hard I try
And all I can see are your eyes
And what’s this I know
When there’s nothing left I can show
Still I want to go
Baby when I look in your eyes
When you look at me
I see what’s meant to be
Tell me what you see
When you look at me
Show me what you’ve got on your mind
Just take it off
And then take it all
If you want it all
You can have it all
I can put the spark in your life
Oh my god baby
You’re making me crazy
With all you’ve done lately
And now that I’ve found out
I couldn’t live without
There’ll never be a doubt about our love
And what’s this I find
That I can’t get out of my mind
No matter how hard I try
And all I can see are your eyes
And what’s this I know
When there’s nothing left I can show
Still I want to go
Baby when I look in your eyes
But now I’m too late
I need a twist of fate
It was in front of me
I could touch and feel
But I felt I had to wait
I took too damn long
Now it feels so wrong
To know that my chance
Was left in the past
Now my time with you is gone
And what’s this I see
Now you’re running away from me
How did this come to be?
And I see the fear in your eyes
And what’s this I hear
You don’t to hold me dear
It’s everything I had feared
And I see it all in your eyes
And what’s this I find
Still I can’t get out of my mind
No matter how hard I try
And all I can see are your eyes
And what’s this I know
Now there’s nothing left I can show
Still I want to go
Baby when I look in your eyes
Baby when I look in your eyes
Baby when I look in your eyes
Baby when I look in your eyes
Baby when I look in your eyes
Lyrics to The Nightstalker’s “Eyes”, finished tonight after a year and a half. I love this song because it’s full of energy and takes quite a dark turn the second half. It’s the kind of emotion that can elevate a good song to extraordinary.
Maybe now that I’m done with the words, I can work on the music. I AM traveling 13 hours tomorrow, after all.
I never heard an admission of pain
But your eyes scream what you’re hiding in vain
You’re so tired
I’ve only seen what you bring to the fore
But I can feel what you hide in your core
Oh, so tired
I’ve seen it, I’ve been there
I know what it’s like there
I loathed it, I’ve lived it
Learned how to survive it
Don’t try it, not solo
It’s not where you should go
You need someone who dares to want to
Melt it all away, melt it all away.
You never show that you’re one word away
From breaking down at the end of the day
You’re so tired
You never tell that you’re burdened with fears
Or that there’s nobody drying your tears
Oh, so tired
You’re fading, you’re failing
You can’t keep containing
The crying, the sadness
The endless loneliness
But look up, look at me
And maybe you will see
Someone to hold you in their arms and
Melt it all away, melt it all away
I’ll melt it all away, melt it all away
Don’t idle, hesitate
Or wait ‘til it’s too late
I’m waiting, I’m right here
Not going anywhere
I’m seeing right through you
I feel like I know you
And watching this slowly
Is killing inside me
I’m wanting to break this
If I’m not mistaken
I know what I’m seeing
I know how you’re feeling
Let’s melt this forever
Let’s do it together
So open up for me! I want to
Melt it all away, melt it all away.
I want to melt it all away, melt it all away.
Let me melt it all away, melt it all away.
I will melt it all away, melt it all away.
Lyrics to The Nightstalker’s “Melt”.
Seriously. I laid down in bed tonight, and this just came to me, music and words. I don’t know what it is about the SFBA, but if I were half as creative at home as I am out here, I wouldn’t need to do anything but music for a living.
Just like a clean sheet of paper
The chance to start again with something new
And just like an idle piano
The means to fill a room with love anew
It feels so wrong to carry on
When there is so much in my life giving me signs
Is it so wrong to move along
When there is some place I can be to feel alive
Just like the pen and the pencil
The pictures in your head become so real
And just like the voice of a chorus
Your words turn into more than you can feel
It feels so wrong to carry on
When there is so much in my life giving me signs
Is it so wrong to move along
When there is some place I can be to feel alive
Lyrics from the self-titled Part 2 of The Nightstalker’s “Paper”.