{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest","title":"The Flamboyant Philosopher & Selective Exhibitionist","subtitle":"Carrie","author":{"name":"Carrie"},"link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"service.feed","type":"application\/x.atom+xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom","title":"The Flamboyant Philosopher & Selective Exhibitionist"}}],"updated":"2013-08-25T16:45:00Z","entry":[{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:123486","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/123486.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=123486"}}],"title":"Happy Birthday, Jen!","published":"2013-08-25T03:50:33Z","updated":"2013-08-25T16:45:00Z","category":[{"@attributes":{"term":"jenidralph"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"birthday"}}],"content":"So, my lovely <\/a>jenidralph<\/b><\/a><\/span>'s birthday is today. Barely. I STILL HAVE HALF AN HOUR! *coughs*

I asked her for prompts for a drabble or ficlet. Well, it kind of exploded, my dear. I hope you like it!

It's rated PG-13, for sweary bits and innuendo. And well, Harry thinks he's... well, I'll let you read it. It's ultimately Severus\/Hermione, so keep that in mind. Sorry, this is not beta'd in any way.



It had all started with George and Fred Weasley. Of course, anything that caused her any amount of trouble or grief usually began with the twins, but most notably this time, it was Fred.

“Have we got something new for our favourite little boffin,” Fred had promised. “In honour of the day you were violently thrust upon the world.” He handed her a brightly wrapped package. “For one day, no matter what you wish for, it will come true! Just make sure to cast the spell at midnight on the day you want your fervent desires to happen.”

Simple enough, right?

Wrong.

Every person Hermione had spent considerable time around knew<\/i> she talked in her sleep. This included Harry and Ron, whom she shared rooms with at Grimmauld Place after leaving Hogwarts. After much consideration—and a few drunken snogs, which ended in being arrested by Muggle authorities due to lewd conduct—Hermione and Ron decided it was best they remain in the realm of friendship instead of trying for feeble, half-hearted gropings in the back garden shed.

Harry was secretly glad they’d stopped finding excuses to force a more physical relationship when he overheard Ron trying to be suave by asking Hermione, “Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?” How Harry had stifled his laughter after Hermione had smacked Ron across the cheek and huffed her disgust as she briskly walked away, he would never know.

It just so happened, on the momentous occasion of Hermione’s impending birthday, that Severus Snape was staying at Grimmauld Place while renovations on his house at Spinner’s End were taking place. He’d been living with the trio since the Final Battle, a scant year before. The hovel that constituted Snape’s residence during the summer break was utterly destroyed, so Harry offered Sirius’ place as a refuge until things were squared away. Of course, Severus declined, angry and vociferous. There may have even been threats of, “Over my rotting, Inferi-cursed corpse, you vile brat!”

Harry had just said, “Fine. Then I’ll send out inquiries to everyone in the wizarding world, asking after places that you can live until then. I’ll also send some to the Muggle world. Strip clubs, especially. Expect some weird owls.”

This resulted in the oddest behaviour any of the former students had ever seen from their professor: he became practically human, though it was a bit of a stretch to say that he reached the point of actually verbalising the fact he had ‘feelings’. It was more of a grunt here, or an arched eyebrow there instead of the usual vitriol they were used to.

Hermione accepted Severus’ altered demeanour with no qualms, as her flexible nature always allowed for changes of heart, no matter the person or creature. She was very clear on that fact—humans, creatures, sentient beings were all one and the same.

Harry, being the idealistic wizard he’d always been, assumed that the change in Snape was what had been lurking beneath the brackish surface all along. That the former Potions master was just in need of a good hug. Harry had made the mistake of trying to do just that once. Once, being the operative word. To this day, he takes care when he sits on a chair, as his arse is still quite tender from the hex that reddened the cheeks of his bum until they were scorched.

The whole situation thoroughly creeped Ron out. No if’s, and’s or ‘oh my god, Snape is picking flowers and he’s going to poison our tea’ about it. His paranoia reached epic proportions when Snape made Shepard’s pie one day for dinner… and intently watched Ron eat every single bite, smiling quite wickedly. Ron had been found later in the loo, sobbing, as he made himself retch in the toilette, afraid that he would expire at any moment from the tainted food Snape had made him eat. When Hermione, Harry and Snape himself were quite fine hours later, Ron muttered something about Snape giving his friends the antidote before they got sick.

Snape smirked. Harry rolled his eyes and complained that Snape was not helping. Hermione sniggered.

Needless to say, things were awkward, but liveable for the most part.

But that all changed upon receipt of the Weasley twins’ gift. Had Hermione known what Fred had given her, she would’ve immediately returned the gift, unopened. As it was, however, Hermione kept the package hidden beneath her bed until she could examine it later.

That night, as Harry lay snoring in one room, Ron wanking to fantasies of ‘oh Lav-Lav, your tits are amazing!’ two floors below, and Snape stomping on the floorboards trying to drown out the sound of Ron fapping, Hermione crept out of bed and headed to the spacious bathroom on the third floor. Settling herself on the cold tile, she unwrapped the present and lifted the lid on the square box. She withdrew a sock. A single, crocheted sock. A sock that didn’t look in the least bit comfortable and was a most hideous shade of chartreuse. Though it didn’t warrant a thank you note to the twins, it did inspire several derogatory curses muttered under her breath in their general direction. It thrummed with magic, however, so she followed the simple directions, closed her eyes, and said the incantation.

“I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.”

She popped open an eye and frowned heavily at the parchment she held in her hands. That didn’t sound like any sort of spell she’d learned in Charms or even Transfiguration. Chalking it up to being duped once again by the nefarious redheaded duo, Hermione crumpled up the paper that accompanied the ‘gift’, and threw it in the rubbish bin. She then grabbed the sock, thinking it would make a great novelty head cover for one of her father’s golf irons, and went back to bed.



Hermione Granger was having a horrible, terrible, no good day.

It all started the moment she woke up... and realised she was much shorter than when she went to sleep. When she opened her eyes, everything looked much like the images in a convex mirror—oversized and greatly disproportioned to the rest of the environment. She blinked several times to see if her vision would correct itself, but it just made her dizzy, even though she was still lying in bed. As she turned her head, something large and flap-like prevented her from completely moving. Her ear. Her overlarge, batwing-like ear. Panic started to rise in her chest and she began to pant erratically… through monstrous nostrils. She quickly touched her nose, only to find that it was long and pointy like the Matamata turtle from Ecuador; she knows, as she did a report on them in her fourth year in primary school before she entered Hogwarts.

Sitting up, Hermione had to wait a moment for before her surroundings stopped spinning. She tried to focus on her hands and feet, but she became nauseated and had to close her eyes. It was fortuitous that she had memorised the layout of Grimmauld Place years ago, so with little hindrance, she was able to make it to the loo by feeling her way along the corridor, keeping her eyes firmly closed. Once there, she opened them to peer into the mirror above the sink… which was much higher than she’d anticipated. With the dizziness now subsided, she grabbed a step-stool and climbed up, hoping it would be enough. It wasn’t. She then scrambled over the sink and stood with her tip-toes on each faucet handle.

What she saw looking back was inconceivable. For all intents and purposes, she’d been transformed into a house-elf. A dish-towel wearing, bushy hair-down-to-your-derrière, bulbous-eyed, long craggy nose house-elf.

The longer she looked at the bizarre reflection, the longer Hermione contemplated a cell in Azkaban for the murder of Fred and George.



Severus Snape was having a lousy, disgusting, no good day.

Before he’d even opened his eyes, he knew something was horribly wrong. When he finally did open them, he discovered he was wearing fishnet stockings. But that wasn’t the most disturbing part.

Upon standing, he realised his feet were covered in black stiletto heels, the kind that could kill a man with a well-placed blow to the neck. Again, it was not the most alarming thing to happen to him, though it ranked up there with that unmentionable event with Lucius in the hedge maze at Malfoy Manor that involved that damn snake-head cane and a Muggle spatula that he could never forget.

No, it was when he stumbled to the mirror that was affixed to the bureau that he literally had no words for his… condition.

Looking back at him was the face of a scraggly black cat, complete with yellow eyes, pointy ears and long whiskers. He blinked until his eyes watered, hoping that the Dreamless Sleep potion he ingested last night was the cause of his hallucination. It wasn’t. He quickly glanced behind him and, sure enough, there was a long, black tail twitching nervously. He returned to his reflection and tried to cast Finite<\/i>, but when he opened his mouth, he began meowing.

After coughing up a fur ball into the bedside rubbish bin, Severus stumbled into the corridor, the stiletto heels that accompanied the fishnet stockings making him walk as if there was a pole up his arse. Bloody hell, he looked like a slag from the waist down and one of McGonagall’s strays from the chest up. Circe’s carbuncles, how had this happened? Had he inadvertently added Polyjuice Potion to the Dreamless Sleep he’d taken? If so, why a feline? He was so desperate for sleep last night that he could’ve very well been drinking and spell casting at the same time. Ruddy Weasley and the prolonged visit with Madame Palm and her five sisters! Any more diddling and Weasley would chaff the appendage right off… which could be a blessing in disguise. Halfway down the hall, it occurred to Severus that he could shed the stockings and shoes instead of walking like an inebriated Hippogriff—that’s how discombobulated he felt.

Upon reaching the loo and finding the door shut, Severus’ sensitive ears twitched at hearing the frantic squeaks emanating from inside. His whiskers twitched and his nose wrinkled up, smelling something familiar yet odd. Dear Zeus, if it was a mouse and he started chasing the blasted rodent, he would personally separate the spine of the person responsible from their body. Just as he was about to open the door, occupied or not, Severus’ neck rippled and he had the uncontrollable urge to clean his fur with his tongue.

He hated his life.

And if he thought that his situation was shocking, he was sorely mistaken when the door opened and he spied a house-elf, glaring at him. A house-elf that suspiciously looked like a distorted version of Hermione Granger.

“Meow?” Severus rolled his eyes. This was going to be more tedious than he originally thought.

Granger arched her brow. “Is that the best you can do?”

Severus was too amused by the sound of Granger’s voice to worry about his laughing fit that sounded like a cat sneezing and a cat in heat. Her tone was high-pitched, sounded like it echoed in a tin can and squeaked.

She scrunched up her nose. “If you start drinking out of the toilette, I’m going to get a newspaper and smack you with it.”

“Meow, meow… purr, meow… pffft!”

Oh, this was not<\/i> going to work!



Harry Potter was having a crummy, ghastly, no good day.

When he woke up and couldn’t see, he thought it was still dark outside. When he tried to move and couldn’t from the weight settled atop him, he began to panic. “Ron?” he yelled. No answer. “Ron!” he shouted.

“Must you be so loud?” a feminine voice mumbled off to his left.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” Harry blurted out. He blinked and rubbed his eyes to no avail, he still couldn’t see.

“What do you mean, ‘Who am I’?” It probably wasn’t good that the voice sounded quite hacked off. “You only invited me in last—”

“Invited you?” another voice interrupted. “He invited me!”

“And me.” A third voice.

“Don’t forget me,” a deeper, masculine voice purred.

Harry officially had the heebie-jeebies. “I didn’t invite anyone in last night!” He tried to move from underneath the covers, but it felt as if they were all lying on top of him, pinning him to the mattress. “And will someone please turn on the light?”

There were several moments of silence before a Tinkerbell-like voice said, “But it’s bright and sunny out! Take a look.”

He tried, he really did. Blinking furiously, Harry swiped at his eyes until they became raw. “I can’t bloody see!”

“Well that’s a problem.” Deep masculine voice gave him the willies.

“You think?” Harry snarled. He struggled under the duvet once more before saying, “Get off me!”

Two fingers were walking their way up his bare chest. “Last night it was ‘get me off’, lover,” the more seductive of the voices cooed.

Wiping his face in frustration, Harry kicked the nearest body, earning him an ‘Oof’, as someone landed on the floor at the foot of the bed. “Hey, no need to get violent!”

“Get out!” he screamed.

“Oi! What’s going on here?” Oh, thank Merlin... Ron.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Harry drawled. “I can’t see and my bed is covered with... with... oh my, God! My foot!”

“Stop sucking his toe!” Ron yelled as he pulled someone off Harry’s leg. “Piss off, all of you!”

After much grumbling, and several attempts at shagging, Ron and Harry were finally alone.

“What the hell?” Harry muttered, trying to feel his way around the room. “I know I went to bed alone<\/i> last night... and able to see.”

“You’re blind?”

“No, I like stumbling around like an idiot and stubbing my toes. Of course I’m blind!” Harry growled.

“But you could see yesterday.”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. “I know I could, Ron. But something happened during the night and now I can’t see and I woke up like King Solomon surrounded by all his concubines... and whatever.”

Though Harry couldn’t see it, Ron scratched his head thoughtfully. “You know, I had a dream about you being constantly lost in the dark last night.” He frowned. “Come to think of it, I also dreamed you were a magnet for hero-worshippers.”

“Just what did you eat before going to bed?”

“Shrimp crisps, two bags of them.”

“That explains a lot.” Harry plopped down on the edge of his bed and sighed. “I need your help to fix this.”

“Sure.” Just as Ron was about to suggest something, there was a creaking of the floorboards near the door and something shoved under the crack. “Hold on a tic.” Ron got up and Harry heard a rustling of paper. “Here, Snape sent you a note. Wonder why he slipped it under the door?” Ron handed the parchment to Harry.

“Erm... can you read it? I can’t exactly see.”

“Oh, right!” Ron said, embarrassed. “Let’s see...” He cleared his throat and adopted a cultured, drawling tone.

Potter,

I woke up this morning in a most peculiar state. Do you have any idea why I was dressed as a strumpet and a cat?

S Snape<\/i>

“Seems he’s had something happen to him, too,” Ron muttered.

Standing, Harry began walking and eventually tripped over his own feet. “Damn it, something is going on and it’s not just affecting me, but other people. Has anything happened to you?”

Ron hadn’t had a cause to look at himself in the mirror before he ran to Harry’s defence earlier, but now he took note of his person. “What… fucking hell, Harry!”

Had Harry been capable of sight, he would’ve seen that Ron was completely devoid of any colour. His hair, skin, eyes… all white, as if he’d been dipped in white paint. However, there was a rather large red spot on his nose, reminiscent of clown noses. Otherwise, Ron was absolutely pasty. He whimpered, “I’m paler than Nearly-Headless Nick!”

“Is that possible?”

“Shut up!” Ron whined again. “I can’t go out like this! People will think I’m an abalone.”

Harry tried to suppress his laughter. “I think you mean albino.”

“Yes, that’s what I said!”

“Right.” Rising hesitantly from his position on the floor, Harry pointed his finger at the closet and firmly Summoned the clothes currently hanging in there. He was immediately covered in all that his closet contained, included the sneaker that hit the side of his head.



Draco Malfoy was having a glorious, fantastic, very good day.

It all started when he awoke to birds singing, the bees buzzing, and the chipmunk’s chipmunking... well, besides the one giving him an eyeful of chipmunk parts. He had not a care in the world and his soul felt as light as a feather. Cliché, he knew, but wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

The reason he felt superb? He was going to purpose to his lady love, Hermione Granger, that very day. He’d found the perfect ring and, looking out his window, it was the most perfect weather he could’ve asked for. Never mind that his father hated her dirty guts and never mind that Draco hadn’t seen her since the end of the war, he just knew that his offer would be accepted.

It was fate. Twisted fate, but fate nonetheless.

After making himself look presentable in his finest robes, he tucked his great-grandmother’s antique wedding ring in his pocket and set off to make Hermione the happiest woman alive.

If he could find out where she lived first, that is.



Even as a cat, Snape’s hair was still limp and stringy. Brushing the thin strands until they looked slicked in grease, Severus finally gave up and threw the comb across the room. “Hisss, pfft!”

“I could always denude you, then you wouldn’t have to worry about hair,” Hermione offered in her ridiculous voice.

Severus was caught between growling at her and a sneezing fit, making him look like an Animagus having a seizure. “Snarl, meow… meow… hiss!”

Hermione pointed her bony finger at him. “Don’t you even think about using my deodorant! You’ll get cat hair all over it.”

Severus smirked. “Meow… purr.” Hermione disliked the way this particular cat smiled.

“I’m warning you,” she threatened… in a not-so-threatening way. It really was hard to take her seriously. “I’ll braid your fur with string cheese if you do.”

“Pfft!” Severus reached for the cabinet above the sink where the toiletries resided, but that was as far as he got before Hermione snapped her fingers, and he was suddenly covered head-to-toe in long, black hair.

Severus looked like Cousin It from the Addams Family… dipped in tar. His cat ears and tail twitched in irritation.

Maybe she needed to work on her spells while in house-elf form. The angry growl that rose from Severus’ chest made her think that she should work on them immediately. “Don’t have such a hissy-fit.”

The growls stopped at the unintended pun. She snapped her fingers again before he could lunge at her and claw her face off. This time, all the hair was gone. All of it. No hair whatsoever remained on Snape’s body.

They both blinked, shocked beyond words. “Too much?” she asked, cringing.

Snape in half cat form was disturbing enough as it was. But stripped of all hair as well, he was practically alien. Instead of a grumpy feline that looked to have met the deep end of a pool, he now looked like a bald Sphinx, saggy and off-putting.

She promptly disappeared before he could capture her.



When Hermione popped into the library at Grimmauld Place, she came face-to-face with Harry and…

“Hera’s toenails! Why are you so white, Ron?”

Both boys turned at the extreme child-like voice and Ron screamed while Harry covered his ears.

“Kreacher had offspring?” Ron sobbed, backing away from Hermione. “That’s just disturbing!”

Hermione crossed her arms and tried to narrow her bulbous eyes at her friend. “I am in no way related to Kreacher. Nor Dobby. I woke up this way, Ronald.”

Ron actually started to cry. “Merlin, Harry. It sounds like Hermione. Make it go away!”

“You’re such an idiot,” she spat. “I am Hermione!<\/i> Something happened last night that changed all of us, and we need to find out—”

Ron screamed again, this time more high-pitched and edging into insanity, as his gaze focused on someone behind her. “You have a tail!” He then collapsed on the hearth in a dead faint.

“Meow,” Severus said with an approximation of a snort.

“I agree,” Hermione said.

“Erm, I woke up blind,” Harry added meekly, turning his head in their direction. “And with lots of people in my bed, including a bloke.”

Hermione giggled. “Harry, what are you wearing?”

Harry frowned and felt his chest and legs. “Clothes, I hope?”

“Meow, meow… pfft, sneeze.”

“I know,” Hermione concurred. “Harry, you look like Trelawney dressed you in the dark. Sober.”

Harry groaned and buried his face in his hands. “God, Hermione, what’s happening? I mean, am I high or stoned? I’m not going to be walking down the pavement tomorrow and wonder if cement was really a rainbow colour they just secretly painted grey so as not to distract drivers am I? Or, or am I going to go to some Muggle club and insist a bunch of people have a dance off to Korean house music to determine who takes me home? I really don’t want to end up licking chocolate sauce off some ‘magic furry apples’ and find out they were some bloke’s bollocks.”

Snape started having a sneezing fit… and coughing up a furball. Hermione was laughing so hard that every time she’d snort, something in the room would change shapes. It was a possibility that they were all in a stupor.

Until the doorbell rang.

When she was finally able to control her laughter, Hermione made her way to the front door and opened it.

Fred and George Weasley stood before her, one sporting a purple beard that was the length of his body and had a neon green forehead that flashed and said ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish!’. The other fared no better. She looked him up and down several times. Yes, definitely no better. Gone were the twin’s rugged good looks. Instead, he had the very attractive body of a female pinup in a magazine. He also had long, white rabbit ears that flopped over whenever he turned his head.

“Erm...”

“You didn’t read the directions, did you?” the one with the beard said.

“What are you talking about?” Hermione backed away as the brothers entered the house.

Instead of answering her question, the female wanna-be twin cooed, “Oh, bugger me!” He made his way over to Harry and promptly sat in his lap. “I just love you, Potter!” He pulled down his shirt to expose his breasts. “Will you please sign my tits? To Frederica, with love from Harry.”

Harry’s eyes were wide even though he saw nothing. “Get the bloody hell off me!” He then turned and glared in Hermione’s direction. “You’d better fix this, or the next one that accosts me will hear about your fetish.”

Hermione gasped. Harry wouldn’t dare!

“Meow?” Severus sounded interested. Very interested. Even though he was quite hideous and still upset with wayward spell-casting, he dropped to the floor next to her and butted his head against her floppy ear. It was all unnatural, full stop.

She was about to ask the twins for the counter-jinx when the doorbell rang… again.

When Hermione opened the door this time, her jaw dropped the moment she beheld Draco Malfoy standing there with a bouquet of red and white roses. He gave her a smile that one only ever saw in those tooth-whiting commercials from the US—brilliantly bright and fake.

“Thank Merlin, I found you!” Draco wheezed, clutching his chest. “I was accosted by no less than six witches and two wizards in my search to find this house.”

Harry snorted and buried his head in his hands. Ron was still passed out on the floor, not even twitching—Hermione thought she ought to check on him at some point. But she was too busy wondering why ferret-boy was on her doorstep. Severus hissed and spit, his growls vibrating her tiny frame. Fred and George gave Draco appraising looks and licked their lips.

The ever-present smile disappeared from Draco’s face. “I’ve come to ask Hermione Granger for her hand in marriage. Where is she?”

Silence.

Hermione looked at the twins. “Fix this. Now!”

Fred pouted but pulled out his wand. “You want the fancy version or just—” Her snarl stopped him midsentence. “Right, quick and easy it is. Finite<\/i>”

Thankfully, her features morphed back to into her own, though her hair was still bushy. Guess nothing would ever tame the mess. Her ears still felt odd, though.

Draco swallowed, nervous. “Granger, I—”

Hermione held up her hand to stop Draco’s ill-timed proposal. “As flattered as I am, Draco, I don’t think we suit each other. At all.” Without further discussion, she shut the door in his face.

A groan rose from near the hearth, as Ron sat up and rubbed his head. He was back to normal, as were they all. “What happened? Did I miss something? Why do I feel like I have a hangover? Why do I remember a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten?”

“That would be your fantasies of Miss Brown, Weasley,” Snape drawled. “I’m sure she let you play with her… cat.”

Hermione laughed, unable to contain herself.

“Why is that funny?” Harry asked, finally able to see.

Severus and Hermione looked at each other and then quickly away. “I’m certainly not going to tell you, Potter.”

“Arse,” Harry muttered. He then studied Hermione and his former Potions professor. “Oh. Oh. My. God. That… that’s just…” Harry stood and started pacing. “I am<\/i> stoned… or high… or drunk. God! You like<\/i> her!” Hermione didn’t think Harry needed to sound so disgusted about it. Harry whirled on the twins. “You did this to me! I’m going to end up in a mental ward talking about myself in the third person until I die!”

“You do that already, mate,” Ron said.

They all started arguing at the same time. And, since it was her birthday, Hermione felt she really didn’t need to stay and listen to their constant griping. She quietly backed out of the room and headed for the back door in the kitchen, knowing that a dark shadow followed her, smiling to herself when she felt his hand in hers.<\/a>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:114291","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/114291.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=114291"}}],"title":"Christmas Cards!","published":"2012-11-19T17:32:38Z","updated":"2012-11-19T17:32:50Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"christmas cards"}},"content":"Sorry about last year folks - it was a bad year.  So is this one, but it has calmed down considerably.  

If you would like a Christmas card from da Buckeye state, leave your info here (all entries are screened) and I shall send you a holiday greeting.  "},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:113371","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/113371.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=113371"}}],"title":"Hodge Podge","published":"2012-11-05T15:39:09Z","updated":"2012-11-05T17:54:48Z","category":[{"@attributes":{"term":"voting 2012"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"lbb"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"sherlock"}}],"content":"<\/a>luciusbigbang<\/b><\/a><\/span> has started posting!  YAY!  Make your way over and check out the Lucius goodness. ;)

Sometimes I really hate living in a swing state.  We are incessantly flooded with political ads!  Both Obama and Romney are all over Ohio today.  And, from 8 AM until 9 PM yesterday, our house was inundated with calls asking who we were supporting, to get out and vote, etc.  There was even a call from overseas asking for our support for Obama.  We even had a couple people come to our door, generously offering to take us to the early voting center today so we could vote early.  (as of 7:30 this morning, there were over 100 people lined up to vote early)  Dave has already voted and I will vote tomorrow.  Our early voting center has been splashed all over the news because A)<\/b> we're the largest in Ohio (besides being in the capital), B)<\/b> lots of controversial voter scare tactics (which Dave has been embroiled in because it's largely aimed at Democrats), C) <\/b>we're in a key swing state.  I honestly can't wait until this election is over. 

I hate folding socks when it comes laundry day.  Dave promises me just about anything to match the footwear, as he's near colorblind when it comes to patterns and such.  So, basket in hand, I sat down and watched a bit of telly.  I broke down and started watching the BBC version of Sherlock.  I went through the whole 1st season and two baskets of socks (Dave wears a lot; me, I'd rather go barefoot).  IT WAS AWESOME!  I'm a fan of Cumberbatch to begin with, so this was like icing on the cake.  I wasn't too impressed with Moriarty though. :(  I recognized Mark Gatiss (Mycroft) from League of Gentlemen, so I thoroughly enjoyed him as Sherlock's 'arch-nemesis'.  LOL  Eventually Dave was sucked into the series about half-way through the first episode.  Then, after the second episode was done, Dave turned to me and said something that made me love him all over again.

"Sherlock is very much like Severus Snape."  Then he pointed out certain parts to me and said, "See?  That's something Snape would say or do." 

I love my husband like stupid whoa.  "},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:112274","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/112274.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=112274"}}],"title":"Thar She Blows!","published":"2012-10-30T12:55:54Z","updated":"2012-10-30T12:56:36Z","category":[{"@attributes":{"term":"frankenstorm"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"lbb"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"family health"}}],"content":"All of my friends and loved ones in the path of Sandy - stay safe and warm.  It's effing cold out there!  

We've got snow here in central Ohio, after high winds that sounded like a jet engine all night long.  No sleep.  Winds and snow are still blowing.  The roads are slick from all the rain freezing as the temp drops.  OMG, I just heard thunder snow!  Surprisingly, we haven't lost power!  

I've seen the coverage from the East Coast.  Terrible, especially in NYC and NJ - hang in there!  In-laws in D.C. - lots and lots of rain with occasional power outages.  Some places in West Virginia will get about 3 feet of snow.  And it's that heavy snow that brings down trees and power lines.  

<\/a>uniquepov<\/b><\/a><\/span>I hope things in Boston are okay, and that you still have power.  <\/a>lunalovepotter<\/b><\/a><\/a>luvscharlie<\/b><\/a><\/a>jenidralph<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>teddyradiator<\/b><\/a><\/span> - I know you are all in the South, so I'm not sure how Sandy is affecting you.  Hopefully not at all, but that might be too much to ask.  Stay safe gals!

On another note: I do not like this new layout scheme LJ has.  *scowls*  

Dad is still in the hospital, he'll get to go home on Wednesday or Thursday.  Talked with them about Medicare replacement policies, they'll probably got with Aetna Medicare (one of the better ones, IMHO).  Found out that three of my dad's docs were arguing about the surgery - the podiatrist, the cardiologist, and his primary care doc.  Come to find out that the primary care doc has been banned from the hospital system my dad is in.  o_O  They shall be looking for a new one once he gets out.  

Took some HR papers to my aunt on the way home from the hospital.  She has a dog that is a pit bull\/Chesapeake Bay mix.  Friendly as all get out and spent most of the visit in my lap.  But now my coat smells like wet dog and it's disgusting. :(

<\/a>luciusbigbang<\/b><\/a><\/span> starts Monday, November 5th!  Lots of lovely, luscious Lucius!

Again, stay safe and warm!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:109417","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/109417.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=109417"}}],"title":"I Got Art!","published":"2012-09-07T15:12:38Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:38:49Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"story art"}},"content":"I'm all for supporting the arts (theatre, film, graphic, traditional), so when <\/a>hcwsketchblog<\/b><\/a><\/span> sent out a commission request to supplement for school and rent, I responded!

I had two commissions (which are beneath the cut due to size) and I couldn't be happier!  



<\/a>

This was created for my story,Watching You Watching Her<\/a> .  I love Snape's angular lines, his hands, his hair!  GAH!  Lovely stuff.  And Hermione's hair!  *flails*  And the look on her face.  *sighs*  Please pay her some love (as this pairing was not her fav, but she did it anyway) on her Deviant Art page: http:\/\/hillary-cw.deviantart.com\/#\/d5dyzdj<\/a>


<\/a>

Next up, the dapper Slytherin himself, Lucius. I just love her interpretation of him, the clothes, THE PIMP CANE! The hair, the smug look. Everything!  And here it is on her Deviant Art page: http:\/\/hillary-cw.deviantart.com\/#\/d5dyzn8<\/a>

A most positive experience!  
<\/a>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:109231","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/109231.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=109231"}}],"title":"Kitty Spam!","published":"2012-08-30T02:11:24Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:39:11Z","content":"So, I haven't really said anything more about the kittens we got in July, but we've sure been busy with them! Excuse the crappiness of some of the pictures - my cell phone sucks.



They certainly have their definite personalities.

Sheldon is very much a Gryffindor:



He LOVES to play in trash bins, attacks everything in sight, and is quite fearless. He also worms his way into my arms if I am typing at the computer and demands to be held for at least 20 minutes while he wallows me to death.





Jester (we changed it from Chester), is VERY much a Slytherin - a bit stand-offish, graceful, does not run headlong into trouble. In fact, he lets Sheldon do all the stupid stuff and he watches on the sidelines, snickering to himself. But, when he wants attention, you MUST give it to him. (example - Dave holding Jester inside his shirt.) Pardon my husband, he just woke up in this pic. LOL





They both get along with the older cats (this is Nini, who is about 11), though they tend to like Sheldon more.





They both take advantage of the basket when the older cats are not around.





Jester thinks he is a dog. He wags his tail (no, I'm not kidding). He fetches things. He helps me do the dishes (he loves the dishwasher). He rolls over on his back and bats at your fingers if you don't rub him on the belly. He chews on fingers. He hops around and sidewinds a lot. He climbs screen doors. He is the larger of the two.





Sheldon thinks he's hot shit. LOL And he's probably right. He is seriously not afraid of anything. He farts. A LOT. And usually in my face when he wants attention.





Jester tilts his head in the most unusual ways when he yawns, like he wants to know WTH you're doing... while yawning. He also loves the bathtub and running water.





Sheldon is a ham. No two ways about it. If he sits in your arms and you are not looking at him, he will tap you on the chin, mouth or nose to let you know you're doing it wrong. Then, he will press his little pink nose to yours and give you an Eskimo Kiss when you do it right. Disgustingly cute, no?





The both love Brandon. Sheldon was mid-yawn, but it looks like he's laughing. LOL Jester is barely visible on Brandon's lap.


Well, that's my spammage for now. I'm sure I'll do more as they get older."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:108671","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/108671.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=108671"}}],"title":"Random Act of Happiness","published":"2012-08-28T14:07:51Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:40:05Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"happiness"}},"content":"All together now...

AWWWWWWWW!



"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:108150","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/108150.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=108150"}}],"title":"Touching The Face of God","published":"2012-08-25T23:06:14Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:38:32Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"neil armstrong"}},"content":"Fare thee well, my fellow Buckeye...

Neil Armstrong

Pilot
Astronaut
Teacher
Visonary

You are now free to fly amongst all the stars.

You were a credit to us all.  

"High Flight"<\/b><\/p>

<\/p>

 Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth<\/i><\/p>

 And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;<\/i><\/p>

 Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth<\/i><\/p>

 of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things<\/i><\/p>

 You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung<\/i><\/p>

 High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,<\/i><\/p>

 I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung<\/i><\/p>

 My eager craft through footless halls of air....<\/i><\/p>

<\/p>

 Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue<\/i><\/p>

 I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.<\/i><\/p>

 Where never lark, or even eagle flew —<\/i><\/p>

 And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod<\/i><\/p>

 The high untrespassed sanctity of space,<\/i><\/p>

 - Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.<\/i><\/p>
~ John Gillespie Magee, Jr.


"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:107164","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/107164.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=107164"}}],"title":"Turn Back Time, Please","published":"2012-08-14T13:08:04Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:40:43Z","content":"I wish I had a Time-Turner.  Not like the fake one hanging from my rear-view mirror, but a real one.  

Brandon starts his junior year in high school tomorrow.  I know this is about the time kids who are serious about higher education tend to start looking at where they want to go once they graduate.   

He just texted me about about the undergraduate studies at Ohio University that specializes in Film Production Design and Technology with a Film Honors program.  He's thinking about a college tour.  Or, he's told me University of Southern California.  

O_O  

Not sure if I'm thrilled to death at where he wants to go in life, the universities he wants to attend, or the fact that time is jumping ahead by leaps and bounds... and taking my only child with it.  

College.  

This is another one of those paradigm shifts.  

*sighs*"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:106422","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/106422.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=106422"}}],"title":"Kitties!","published":"2012-07-17T19:16:11Z","updated":"2012-09-08T19:41:20Z","content":"Yup, we have them! OMG, they are freaking adorable! And so personable.



Here is Mama Tortie - she's such a good mom too. She ran off a raccoon when it threatened her kittens.




After Dave communed with the orange tabby, he told me his name was Sheldon. *snorts* Sheldon is also a proficient mouser - at 8 weeks!




We couldn't get decent pics of the black one outside (too many shadows), but we got a great one after we got home. After much debate (I wanted Severus, but kitten didn't seem to like the name. Oddly, he liked Lucifer!) we present, Winchester (Chester for short). He's ornery and loves to have his belly rubbed.




They both have colds, so we gave them a warm bath (they also had fleas), food and water... and they dropped like a sack of potatoes. They're littermates\/brothers, so they are very used to each other and curled around one another. Yin and Yang here.




Today, they are MUCH better after a trip to the vet, meds and all the cuddles they can get."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:106049","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/106049.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=106049"}}],"title":"Wow! I Am Full Of SQUEE!","published":"2012-07-14T19:01:02Z","updated":"2012-07-14T19:02:43Z","content":"Holy crap on a cracker, BatSnape! I'm a featured author on the <\/a>quiz_sshg<\/b><\/a><\/span>!

\"SSHG

I've never been on the quiz before!  

*is a happy camper*

To all my friends at Ascendio - I hope you're having fun!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:105917","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/105917.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=105917"}}],"title":"As The Icon States...","published":"2012-07-11T13:22:46Z","updated":"2012-07-11T13:23:51Z","content":"WTH?  

I swear, the next thing that breaks, blows up, blows down, shuts down, quits working, burns up, or becomes a soggy mess will be chucked out the door with no remorse.  

For the better part of 2 months, life has been much like the end times are happening!  

Ohio has been caught in that massive heat wave affecting the east coast\/Great Lakes region, and we've been treated to temperatures reaching in excess of 104 F.  We are also in a drought.  Have I told you I loathe summer?  I do, with an unholy passion.  There's always air conditioning, you say, right?  Wrong.  

June 29th, a storm blew in as if it were from Kansas and about to sweep Columbus off the map to Oz!  80 mph winds!  The rain was sideways!  Hail, flying trees (the big ones, not the spindly saplings), zero visibility.  It was worse than when the remnants of hurricane Ike blew through in 2008.  And I was driving and got caught right in the heart of the storm - I got an effing crack in my BRAND NEW CAR'S WINDSHIELD form the golf-ball sized hail!  The sky was gray then turned black in like 2 minutes.  The derecho (the kind of storm it was, according to NOAA) streaked across the Midwest - 600 miles in only 10 hours.



Needless to say, we lost our power.  In fact, about 95% of Ohio lost their electric... and during the worst heat wave in years.  They had to bring in crews from West Virginia, Kentucky, even Arkansas to help with the clean up and getting us back on line.  Dave's dad in D.C. lost electric as well.  That sucker stretched for hundreds of miles.



This is the road just 5 minutes from me and what you can't really see, is the 20 or so cars further back that are trapped under these towers.  People thought it was just a normal thunder storm (we get them all the time), but it was much more powerful than anticipated.  

So, we have been off and on without power (or internet) since then.  We lost everything in our fridge and freezer and lived off our car batteries for the better part of 4 days, just to keep our cell phones charged and for fans.  I know I've missed a lot of stuff and birthdays, so I am sorry.  AEP (our local power company) stated they had the power completely restored to all of Ohio last night about midnight.  *keeps fingers crossed*

Then, about 2 AM last night, I woke up to a huge boom that shook the house.  I was like, oh no... they've lost the electric again.  *sobs*  But no.  Instead, THIS is what happened...



A train carrying ethanol alcohol derailed and blew up 2 minutes south of my house.  They evacuated the houses in a 1 mile radius, and thank god we were not one of them because I tried to wake up Dave and tell him what I heard and he just grumbled that he didn't care, then started snoring again.  

Seriously, God.  Please let up for a bit, hmm?"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:103572","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/103572.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=103572"}}],"title":"The Envelope, Please!","published":"2012-06-04T17:22:15Z","updated":"2012-06-04T17:22:30Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"ss\/hg exchange"}},"content":"*dances like mad*

YES YES YES YES!  

I am a very happy camper. 

THANK YOU MODS!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:103232","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/103232.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=103232"}}],"title":"For The Poor, Unfortunate Soul...","published":"2012-06-04T13:57:47Z","updated":"2012-06-04T13:58:59Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"ss\/hg exchange"}},"content":"... who gets me as a recipient in the <\/a>sshg_exchange<\/b><\/a><\/span>.




My squicks\/dislikes:<\/b> Please, if you have any mercy, don’t make my Severus fluffy. To me, he is sarcastic\/snarky, grumpy, not particularly ashamed that he loves the Dark Arts, is regretful but doesn’t like being manipulated, not pretty or beautiful. There’s a little more leeway with Hermione – while I don’t necessarily see her as fluffy, she’s not a BAMF either. A nerdy bookworm, a bit wallflower-ish, but very willing to stand up for the underdog (probably Severus in this case). She can take care of her own and is not a damsel in distress. No scat or watersports, nor femmeslash. Otherwise, I’ve read just about everything you could think of and it doesn’t squick me. Mpreg? Sure thing. Bestiality? Go right ahead. Necro? You bet! Truly, except for the scat\/watersport and femmeslash, you can write anything your heart desires. So, you have a lot to work with. I’m really flexible, honest!

Things I Like:<\/b> Dark comedy. Horror (if you couldn’t tell from my prompts), gothic romance, ghosts\/paranormal, epic journeys with lots of obstacles, Pythonesque humour, moral ambiguity, spiritual crises, relying on things outside one’s realm\/scope of understanding. Male slash, if you do a threesome, is welcome. I must also point out that threesomes are welcome in any of the stories with: Lucius, Harry, Charlie Weasley, or Remus. Yes, I know I’m an odd duck. I don’t necessarily need pr0n. I’d rather have a mind-fuck of a plot than pr0n any day. If you want to add it, great, but don’t feel pressure to do so.

Things That Can Go Either Way:<\/b> Flangst. While I’m not a fan of fluff, I can do a nice angsty fluff piece. Romance, as well. I adore old fashioned romance – but too much fluff and it’ll turn me green, and not with envy. I want my characters to suffer for their love. Why, yes... I’m evil that way.

For Art:<\/b> I love the works of Mucha, Parrish, Klimt, Giger, Escher, and Waterhouse. Anything done in those veins is wonderful. I’m a huge fan of pencil sketches (like I received my first year – First Kiss, by <\/a>sabrebabe<\/b><\/a><\/span>) with no colouring at all, so that works, too. My favourite colours are: dark blues, dark purples, maroon, dark greens, silver, black. Those are a safe bet I will adore anything you create.

In Addition:<\/b> In case none of my prompts inspire you, go with these...

A) Write that fic you've always wanted to write, but didn't have the time.
B) A SS\/HG story based on your favorite fairy tale.
C) A story that makes me cry, or makes me laugh so hard I want to cry.

The Bottom Line:<\/b> I’m flexible as long as you don’t give me fluff. Plot over pr0n - mindless PWP gives me indigestion. Keep those two things in mind and we’re gold! Or silver, in this case. :D

GOOD LUCK!<\/a>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:103079","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/103079.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=103079"}}],"title":"Fantastic!","published":"2012-05-30T21:23:26Z","updated":"2012-05-30T21:23:46Z","content":"



CAN'T WAIT!!!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:102909","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/102909.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=102909"}}],"title":"That's No Moon...","published":"2012-05-28T15:14:07Z","updated":"2012-05-28T15:14:43Z","content":"... It's a fire pit BBQ!



I WANT ONE!

To those in the US - Have a wonderful, safe Memorial Day!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:101185","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/101185.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=101185"}}],"title":"Lucius Needs You!","published":"2012-04-23T12:46:44Z","updated":"2012-04-23T12:47:03Z","category":{"@attributes":{"term":"lucius big bang"}},"content":"Oh yes, he does!

Cheerleader sign ups are still underway at <\/a>luciusbigbang<\/b><\/a><\/span> right now.

http:\/\/luciusbigbang.livejournal.com\/45894.html?view=606790#t606790<\/a>

Sign up to cheer on our authors and artists!  Shake your pom poms and get in on the creative process.

Time is running out!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:100184","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/100184.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=100184"}}],"title":"Interesting Tidbits and Housekeeping","published":"2012-04-18T15:34:45Z","updated":"2012-04-18T15:35:03Z","content":"Well, they're interesting to me, anyway.

Watched Repo! The Genetic Opera<\/i> last night.  Fell in love with Terrance Zdunich.  Already liked Sarah Brightman, but loved her in this.  Always good to see Anthony Stewart Head (he will always be Giles to me) belting out murderous tunes.  I'm thinking this is how Giles' alter ego (Ripper) would've behaved.  I could've done without Paris Hilton, but Paul Sorvino was perfectly cast.  And who knew he  could sing as well as casually murder people?  To me, it was a twist of the movies Repo Men<\/i> and Rocky Horror Picture Show<\/i>.  Let's hope that this version of a dystopian society doesn't come to pass.  Wonderfully gory and very Goth.

I have to get new glasses.  (boo, hiss)  Good news is, when I get the upgraded lenses, I'll have 20\/15 vision in both eyes (yay!).  I tried wearing contact lenses, but the first day I had them became a major hurdle.  I don't like things being poked in my eyes, including my fingers.  It's one of the few things I'm squeamish about.  When I tried them on in the doc's office, my eyes were numb from the drops they gave me.  I was able to put them in easy peasy.  But, get home later that night and time to take them out?  OMG, I was begging Brandon (who has worn contacts for over a year) to help me because apparently, I'd already removed one (and it became lost) and was now trying to take out my eyeball.  I ended up scratching my cornea and my eye was so red.  I vowed I'd never put them back in.  Bad news?  I'm now being monitored for Glaucoma.  o_O  Damn.  It pays to get that test, folks.  At least they caught it early enough that if it becomes a problem, they'll do whatever they do for Glaucoma.  

Streaming Netflix through the Blu Ray player or online is all kinds of awesome!  Brandon made me watch Avatar The Last Airbender<\/i> so many times I started shipping the characters.  Zuko and Katara = totally Draco and Hermione.  Scary.

We're going to see the stage production of West Side Story on Saturday!  I'm doubly excited about this because it'll be Brandon's first time seeing a professional production on stage and he's performed the music previously with his band, so he'll definitely get into it.  Plus, it's at the Ohio Theater (where I used to volunteer to usher as a teen) and features a 2-ton crystal chandelier in the auditorium.

I never realized how anal-retentive my family is about cake icing.  Seriously.  Me included.  I learned this when I had to buy 3 separate cakes for a birthday party for 2 people - my dad and sister-in-law.  My dad got regular buttercream icing - the kind you find on store shelves.  My sister-in-law got Satin icing - basically whipped cream (and the only kind I'll eat).  Then, there was just a plain cake, no icing.  I indulged in the latter 2, but come on.  My brothers refused to eat anything but the buttercream cake and was going to throw a snit if I didn't get THAT particular kind of icing.  Sheesh.  Next time, they buy their own.  

Got my taxes done!  And for the first time in years, we get a refund.  How did that happen?  IDEK.  Turbo Tax, you are wonderful.  

The directions on the package of brownie mix from Betty Crocker lies!  I cooked them the exact amount of time they said, at the correct temperature.  They turned out meh - kinda crispy around the edges and gooey in the middle.  I need to give up on baking treats, honestly.  I do better at full blown meals.  *is proud of the chicken kourma and berry shortcake I made on Saturday night*  I'm so glad I got to take Home Economics in middle school - I learned everything from cooking, cleaning, sewing, etiquette, and how to properly set a dinner table.  Thank you, Mrs. Clarridge, wherever you are.    

Happy Birthday to my homely Carrie - <\/a>edenskye<\/b><\/a><\/span>!  I called him around 8 this morning (poor thing was sleeping - sorry!) and I hope his package gets there today.  UPS says it will but who knows.  

Finally finished my <\/a>lm_hgficxchange<\/b><\/a><\/span> and now the mods have it.  So very sorry I was late.  Many, many thanks to <\/a>delphipsmith<\/b><\/a><\/span> and  <\/a>solas_divided<\/b><\/a><\/span> for the quick beta!


A few house-keeping details!

<\/a>luciusbigbang<\/b><\/a><\/span> is currently looking for Cheerleaders!  If you want to cheer on our LBB participants, head over there and sign up!

<\/a>secretlypadfoot<\/b><\/a><\/span> sent me a reminder that I will also post on LBB about the <\/a>hpchallengefest<\/b><\/a><\/span>, as I am all about pushing beyond your boundaries in writing!

<\/a><\/center>
Banner by <\/a>kjmom1<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/small><\/center>

<\/a>hpchallengefest<\/b><\/a><\/span> is a fest dedicated to pushing personal boundaries and trying something new!<\/center>


Also, the <\/a>hpfanficfanpoll<\/b><\/a><\/span> awards is currently accepting nominations!  If you know of a fic that was written between April 22nd, 2011 - April 21st, 2012 that you feel deserves to be recognized, go here and nominate!  There are multiple categories, so just about anything goes!


\"\"<\/a><\/p>



THE HP FANFIC FAN POLL AWARDS - SUMMER ROUND 2012<\/strong>
Overview FAQ<\/a> \/ How to Nominate a Fic<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/small>
To Make Nominations\/Ask Questions: hpfanficfanpollmod@gmail.com<\/a>
Nomination period:<\/strong> April 1st - April 21st, 2012
Voting period:<\/strong> May 1st - June 30, 2012
Winners announced:<\/strong> by July 15th, 2012<\/p>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:99686","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/99686.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=99686"}}],"title":"Pat Paulsen for President!","published":"2012-03-30T01:16:31Z","updated":"2012-03-30T01:16:52Z","content":"


Excerpted from the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, a trio of hilarious editorials by the immortal Patrick Layton Paulsen. The topics were as relevant then as they are today: social security, gun control and health care. Pat Paulsen may have left us, but you can still vote for him!

Very tongue-in-cheek, but relevant and it feels like it could've been written last week.  Both sides of the aisle take note."},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:98258","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/98258.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=98258"}}],"title":"Sign Ups and Deadlines!","published":"2012-03-15T12:49:06Z","updated":"2012-03-15T12:49:24Z","category":[{"@attributes":{"term":"hp_porninthesun"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"pimpimg"}},{"@attributes":{"term":"lbb"}}],"content":"Sign ups are now under way at <\/a>luciusbigbang<\/b><\/a><\/span>!

<\/a>


Also, today is the last day you can sign up at <\/a>hp_porninthesun<\/b><\/a><\/span>!




Join us in sweaty, filthy fun at <\/a>hp_porninthesun<\/b><\/a><\/span>! Sign ups:<\/b> March 1st - 15th!"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:94083","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/94083.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=94083"}}],"title":"Last Chance!","published":"2012-02-04T02:30:13Z","updated":"2012-02-04T02:30:22Z","content":"

Last chance to vote at <\/a>firewhiskeyfic<\/b><\/a><\/span>!<\/p>


Voting ends at midnight!<\/p>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:93714","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/93714.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=93714"}}],"title":"Voting!","published":"2012-02-01T14:48:12Z","updated":"2012-02-01T14:48:28Z","content":"So, here we go folks. :D If you decide to vote for me, you have my undying gratitude.


\"\"<\/a><\/p>



THE HP FANFIC FAN POLL AWARDS - SPRING ROUND 2012<\/strong>
Overview FAQ<\/a> \/ How to Vote<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/small>
Voting period:<\/strong> February 1st - March 31st, 2012
Winners announced:<\/strong> by April 15th, 2012<\/p>
"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:92424","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/92424.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=92424"}}],"title":"My Beta Is Legit!","published":"2012-01-24T13:28:23Z","updated":"2012-01-24T13:28:45Z","content":"Oh yes, that's right!

<\/a>ssddgr<\/b><\/a><\/span> , my Spuffy-loving, brow-beating (in the kindest way), finger-smacking (really, Carrie?  You should know better!), worry-wort of a soon-to-be mummy of an Andrei boy beta has been published!  She definitely has the mad skills with the SPaG and it shows!  

So, if you like vamps (and if you know me, you know I do), her first book is now available:


<\/a>


http:\/\/www.loose-id.com\/Cherry-Stem.aspx<\/span><\/a>
<\/div>
It's available in most e-reader formats, so get thee to buy it (very reasonably priced), and you'll see why I love her so.<\/div>"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:87401","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/87401.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=87401"}}],"title":"Voting Time!","published":"2011-11-21T22:26:18Z","updated":"2011-11-21T22:26:30Z","content":"Voting is happening now at <\/a>firewhiskeyfic<\/b><\/a><\/span>!  There are 11 entries this time, all of them hilarious.

So, make your way over...

Read

Laugh

Vote. 

;)"},{"id":"urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rivertempest:86642","link":[{"@attributes":{"rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/86642.html"}},{"@attributes":{"rel":"self","type":"text\/xml","href":"https:\/\/rivertempest.livejournal.com\/data\/atom\/?itemid=86642"}}],"title":"I So Want!","published":"2011-11-08T18:59:31Z","updated":"2011-11-08T18:59:45Z","content":"I've stolen this from <\/a>lordes<\/b><\/a><\/span> because I can't stop watching it!

I want so badly.  I even contemplated getting another kitty.    


"}]}