Because of the thing, I have been catching the end of random episodes of the Father Dowling Mysteries. The end of one episode this week had thingy who played Ken Molansky, who you know I had the worst crush on when I was wee, playing Sister Stevie's ex-boyfriend. The Sister Stevie who I also had the worst crush on at that age.
Now somehow, despite my grandmother being a detective-show fiend, and liking the aforesaid Father Dowling Mysteries, I had never seen this episode. This is probably for the best, as 10-year old me would probably have spontaneously combusted, but oh ... I was basically *hearts eyes* for the duration.
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This is the first in an irregular series of posts about films with sword fights. Although they're all part of a series, the formats will be slightly different, for reasons which will become clear as the posts occur.
Some time ago, in a post about the 1938 Oscars, nwhyte wrote that he'd never seen the Errol Flynn Robin Hood. I was surprised, but looking back on it, I'm not sure why, because former housemate P didn't watch it until his mid-20s, and as a fencer, he'd had more reason for watching it.
Following on from that post, I wondered which sword-fighting films I would recommend for people to watch. And then I realised I'd watched a lot, and probably needed a way of splitting them up, so I am writing about them by topic, starting with Robin Hood, since it was the Errol Flynn version that kick-started this idea.
Robin Hood:
Must watch: As you may have guessed from that intro, as far as I'm concerned the Errol Flynn version is the best film version. Partly it's Flynn himself, in all his charming, insouciant glory, but there's also Olivia de Havilland as a beautiful, charming and courageous Maid Marian, Claude Reins and Basil Rathbone as excellent villains, and comic relief characters who get to be both funny and heroic.
Of course, the fight scenes are famous for a reason (spoilers for the big end fight). It's amazing what you can do when one of your principals is a fencer.
Ex-housemate P didn't like it because it wasn't flash enough for him and too slow, but he was more than occasionally wrong about films (he didn't like Casablanca). His favourite version will be mentioned shortly.
In the same vein: The Richard Todd and Richard Greene versions of Robin Hood stick closely to the Errol Flynn model, and the Richard Greene TV version is one of my family's favourite ways to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Something different:The Disney Robin Hood is actually my favourite version. However, because it's animated, I have to admit that the sword fights aren't all that. On the other hand, there are some truly excellent villains, an adorable Robin and Maid Marian, one of my favourite Friar Tuck's (seriously, watching him go full "badger don't care" at the Sheriff is glorious), excellent music (A Pox On The Phoney King of England, Not In Nottingham) and Lady Cluck.
I could write whole essays on how Lady Cluck is just the best (which she is), but I shall provide video evidence instead:
Anyone who has ever seen me do sports may recognise a certain similarity in both shape and attitude.
The Disney Robin Hood is an hour and a half of sheer sugar candy joy.
Other options:
The ITV Robin Hood, Robin of Sherwood, which is housemate P's favourite. I happen to think it's New-Agey, pseudo-realistic nonsense, but several other people I know like it.
I also blame it for several of the modern Robin Hood cliches. It popularised one of the Merry Men being a Saracen, Will Scarlet being an (angry) working class man rather than Robin's cousin, and Robin going off to the Crusades before the story starts. This annoys me. It's like, 'why are you doing this to the character and the story, not going to the Crusades it what gets him outlawed in the first place?!!!'
I find it interesting that in 1938 you could get away with a Robin who says "no way, you go fight your own pointless war if you want to but I am staying here to protect my people" whereas nowadays you can't. I don't know how much of that was due to US isolationist policies pre-WW2 and general public opinion, or wanting to stay close to the original legend, but it's an interesting difference.
I like that Robin doesn't go to war, despite the threat of being outlawed if he doesn't. He goes ahead and follows his conscience. It makes him a more impressive hero. It's all well and good to show him fighting against a prince who has usurped power, but for him to disobey someone who he regards as the rightful king, with all the moral and legal force that implies, now that's a different thing.
If storytellers want to have a story with a Crusader veteran horrified with what they'd seen for the one (and it's only ever one) PTSD-related episode or section, then Will Scarlet, nobleman with fewer reservations than Robin, seems like an excellent choice. He already canonically wanders around a forest wearing red, which I think might well be described as a death-wish.
Unnecessarily long story short - I don't particularly like this version, although I do recognise that it has its own distinctive feel, and does its own thing its own way, which I admire.
The Patrick Bergin Robin Hood, which was unlucky enough to have been released at the cinema at the same time as the Kevin Costner version. I prefer it, even if it is a bit heavy-handed. Also, it has Owen Teale's Little John and is about the only modern version that gives Little John anything to do. (Why do modern versions give all/most of Little John's important bits to Nasir/Azeem?)
Avoid:
The BBC's 2006 Robin Hood - But, I hear you cry, you spent far too much time watching it. And this is true, any time spent watching it would be too much.
Basically the BBC Robin Hood was one very good performance, four good performances and Keith Allen eating more than the Recommended Daily Allowance of scenery, being hamstrung by increasingly poor and peculiar authorial choices on the part of the writers.
The Kevin Costner version (mild spoilers ensue) - I am about to be accused of being mean, and it's not just that they hew very closely to Robin of Sherwood to the point where you think they should have paid licencing fees, but I can explain my objection to the film in four words: Will Scarlet would never.
I don't mean this Will Scarlet, I mean any Will Scarlet. In fact, having any Merry Man betray the rest is a good way of ending up in the avoid list. Even Alan Rickman's glorious, vivid and vile Sheriff of Nottingham cannot save this film, nor can Morgan Freeman and Michael McShane. It is un-salvagable.
If anyone has any other Robin Hood recommendations, please send them my way. It's a legend I never tire of.
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The two of the three big trailers from Comic Con have left me underwhelmed. I was worried that I was being impossible or nostalgia was blinding me, because the one I quite enjoyed is the one where I don't know anything about the source material but I don't think that's the case.
Let's start with that one I enjoyed. The Witcher looks like perfectly servicable nonsense. And let's be honest, they had me at "people with swords". I am a simple creature.
Cats does not look like perfectly servicable nonsense. I did wonder whether I felt that way because it didn't live up to my expectations but no, I think even a completely disinterested observer would go, "nah, that looks terrible."
It looks like someone has spent a lot of money on SFX that are not up to the job.* I know that the only way we will ever get SFX that are up to the job is through failures like this, but I'd much rather they'd fail on something I am not fond of.
Because I am fond of Cats. I went to see it for a birthday party when I was little, and will still happily belt out random bits of songs for no good reason. As someone who does like it, this looks godawful. None of the characters look right and I do not even want to know WTF they have done to my beloved magical Mr. Mistoffelees. He is supposed to look magical and mysterious, not like Charlie Chaplin Cat! I am sure Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench will be having all the fun in their roles so it does at least have that going for it.
I am somehow even less impressed by the new Watchmen trailer than I am by the Cats trailer.
It's not like Watchmen is my favourite Alan Moore comic. Promethea is (yes, I know). But I have long since given up on ever getting any film or TV version of Promethea (mostly because of the yes, I know).
But there is already an Alan Moore comic about a violent police state with people running around in masks. It's called V for Vendetta. But I can imagine it is hard to raise funds for a TV show where a fascist is brought to power with help from the religious right, and then puts people in cages. Obvs. too far-fetched (and yes, I know it's set in the UK).
Either which way, I have no interest in watching Damon Lindelhof's dark future AU fic of the Watchmen! Mostly OCs with a few canon characters appearing.
Not least of all because he suffers from JJ Abrams problem of "dude, I have seen the same films as you, that is not anything new!" For instance, I suspect we're supposed to be shocked, shocked I tell you that FBI lady is Laurie when we find out somewhere in episode 13-17.
If they do decide to give him any depth, Jeremy Irons will knock (possibly spoilery character) out of the park. Plus, he gets to practise his German again. I am intrigued, just a little, by how they will handle (spoilery character) because, yeah, I had problems with how the film did him. I have no idea if that's because I read the character differently to everyone else, or because the film decided to simplify his character, which ruined a lot of the glorious ambiguity of (spoiler) but either which way, (spoiler) is the only thing that interests me about it.
I would prefer to be thrilled by Comic Con trailers!
* There is a reason why everyone is posting that image from What We Do In The Shadows.
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Which I have now seen 2 episodes of. And enjoyed. I might not like it as much as proper Thunderbirds, but it's great fun.
It has more Gordon, but only because they have turned him into Alan (blond and excitable is Alan's thing). John, meanwhile, is suddenly red-headed.
Other than that minor confusion, everything and everyone else is present and correct. (Except Jeff Tracey who is spoiler).
It's done in a mixture of CGI and models so there's still some solidity to the action. I think it's WETA who have done some of the CGI. There's a distinct NZ twang to several of the actors as well.
And, in the most recent episode, they used bearded lizards to play giant lizards, which made me think of Attack of the Alligators and squee.
It's not perfect, but it's fun.
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You know how I was the only person not hyped for Deadpool. I feel like I'm the only person not hyped for Good Omens. Because I think the leads are horribly mis-cast and I've seen the costume photos and think they look horribly, horribly wrong too.
I will do most of my Eeyoring in private :) but I had an urge to shout this at the universe just once.
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The thing that gets me about this is that the government doesn't seem to get the number of people that don't use animal fats, for a variety of reasons. How no-one in the decision-making process didn't go "wait a minute!" is beyond me.
One of the weirder Freeview channels was showing the 2003 version of the Lion in Winter. Which was an odd experience. Because I know the film very well. And it's not that it's bad.
Part of the problem is that, to pinch a line from Douglas Adams, very little money has been spared to show no money has been spared, but most of the crowd scenes looked like extras had been told to look like they're having lots of fun.
Nothing wrong with their Henry or Eleanor, though the characters are read very differently. I think there's a conscious decision to underplay the theatricality of the roles, which makes very little sense to me but it does affect the feel of the thing. The other problem is that of the younger people, Rafe Spall as John is by far the strongest actor, and that really skews things because where the film one is just a sulky lump, he's actually cruel to the servants, but he's very good at making you feel sorry for John.
I would have watched the rest of it but a friend called and we went to see Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the opening best of all. I entirely understand anyone who complains that parts of it feel like a less fun retread of the Fifth Element, but bits of it stand up on its own. Luc Besson continues to be a magnificent director, he just needs help with his scripts. Like, possibly someone going "people don't speak like that" every now and again. It would be a good start.
I think having slightly stronger actors in the lead roles would help too. Because Clive Owen and whoever played General Okto-Bar did a much better job of coping with the dialogue than Dane DeHaan or Cara Delevigne.
But I happily forgive all of that for the visuals. I am a Cinema du Look girl, and always will be.
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I have just finished writing nearly 2000 words of somewhat fluffy Solly/Gloria It Ain't Half Hot Mum fic.
Solly/Gloria is one of my pairings from before I knew what shipping was. They're pretty much unique in that sense because they're non-canonical. Young me was not a shippy person (okay, so present me isn't a shippy person either but young me even more so). I think part of it is that it took me until I was older to realise it wasn't canonical.
I first saw It Ain't Half Hot Mum when I was somewhere between 8-11. And I just presumed that Solly was Gloria's boyfriend because he always stepped in when the 'orrible Sergeant Major was being horrible to Gloria, more so that he did when the horrible Sergeant Major was being horrible to anyone else.
I caught it again when I was a bit older (14-18), and I realised that I may have misread (miswatched?) the show because I saw things that were not there.
I rewatched the show for the fic and the thing that interested me is that I could see why mini-me had seen what she saw. It's mostly due to the set up of the show.
Because Solly is the ranking member of the Concert Party, he's got to stand at one end of the line when they fall in. For camera work it makes sense that the more one note characters* are at the other end of the line so they can be ignored if they don't have anything to do in that scene. You can't put Gloria next to Gunner Sugden if you want the full effect of Sugden's lack of height (I think that's also why Sugden's placed between Atlas and Parky in the line up, who are the tallest of the regulars), and putting Gloria next to Solly is therefore the sensible thing.
That means Solly has to react when Shut Up shouts at Gloria because he's next door and in camera. The synchronised sour look he and Gloria do is also probably just for giggles, but the fact that he also reacts every time the Sergeant Major says anything about homosexuals might be where tiny-me got confused. It also means that it makes some sort of sense for Solly and Gloria to get teamed together whenever the gang have to split into twos.
It's really clear where tiny-me got confused and why and how much of it is down to the constraints of the medium (TV sitcom), which are "rules" that you don't know at that age.
*sorry Nobby, Nasher and Atlas
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Because I get bored, I was reading online comments about NCIS: New Orleans and people complaining that they had more characters visiting from the original NCIS than NCIS: LA ever had. To me it's obvious why. Donald Belisario actually understands his international audience a lot more than a lot of other US showrunners. Because New Orleans's rep as being a bit different from the rest of the US hasn't percolated through to popular culture in other countries as much as you might expect and the basic gist of NCIS: NO is more or less the same as original flavour, while NCIS: LA at least has its own gimmick.
I was reminded of this when I caught part of an episode of Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour. Because I don't get its purpose. What stories does it tell that couldn't be told by Criminal Minds Original Flavour? And if that's the case, there's no reason for people to watch it.
(This is not a diss against Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour because yay Forest Whittaker on my TV and I fell for Prophet something chronic within half an episode. I'm still not sure what Matt Ryan's accent is supposed to be, mind you.)
At the minute, Australia seems to be sending us it's murder mysteries, so Drama (the channel) are showing them early in the a.m., possibly to appeal to the hungover student crowd. The most recent one I've caught is Mr and Mrs Murder (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_%26_Mrs_Murder), which comes so close to working, but doesn't quite. It has awesome opening credits. L thinks that there must be an American TV producer out there looking for an idea who can pick it up and turn it into a mega-hit.
We also originally intended to watch the first of the Star Trek reboot films but L turned it off in disgust midway through, because he couldn't stand what they were doing to Kirk. So we watched the second Hobbit films instead. Or, as it's known, 'Do something Thorin. No, not that, anything but that'.
I am not kidding about that.
I'm also really not sure if I was supposed to see, instead of the love triangle someone foisted on PJ and the others, Thranduil trying to set Tauriel up with Legolas, who is oblivious, because Tauriel is his bestest bro.
Finally saw Dredd.
I can see why people who aren't 2000AD fans didn't like it, and why the 2000AD fans went absolutely nuts over it. Because it's the very best 2000AD adaptation we're going to get, and all the things that made it that are the things that turned non-fans off. It's the ultra-violence, the grittiness, that we didn't see Dredd without his mask (thank you Karl Urban for standing up against that nonsense).
Anderson was a great example of how you do vulnerable but not squishy (and props to whoever cast Olivia Thirlby because she looks right). I loved how they shot the effects of Slo-Mo on the users, because it really looked like some of the Judge Dredd artwork.
Lena Hedley was amazing. Actually, all of the acting was damn good. (And I have decided that if Wesley Snipes and Tony Curran are too old to play Sinister and Dexter now, I'm having Anthony Mackie and Domnhall Gleeson as replacements.)
I could have done without ( spoilersCollapse ) but apart from that, it was A++ Double Good, and as I said, the best 2000AD film we're ever going to get.
Only real problem is that I came down with a cold on Wednesday (30/3), and it's either a very bad head cold or a mild flu*. ( More stuffCollapse )
* I suspect flu due to fever and minor hallucinations but I am also a wuss. But I am a wuss who has slept for 16 of the past 24 hours so I am an ill wuss.
** Yeah, I don't even either. If someone can figure out where the (blank) this came from, I'd be obliged. Please use the smallest possible words when explaining because I just don't and can't.
*** C has a bizarre thing about people of Pakistani origin that cannot be explained just by him being old and from Bradford. It is one of the many, many, many things about him that I object to.
It's one of the few acceptable reasons to unretire if you're a footballer. And then there's the 'what if they've not still got it' thing, but of course Edwin's still got it.
And also a couple of things I watched while I was there.
We ended up watching half of Bellator 147 on Fox Sports Mexico. Mostly because I could follow the sports without a need for a translator.
I have one question about the Anderson vs Patricky fight. How did Anderson get the win? One of them was bleeding and one was not. And it wasn't Patricky that was bleeding. Small words please for any explanations.
I also saw the first episode of 'Into The Badlands' which looks like precisely my kind of nonsense. Swordfights, a kickass, conflicted, slightly mysterious hero (Daniel Wu), actually interesting mystery (even if it makes me think of the Wizard of Oz) and Marton Csokas, even if he's putting on a Southern accent last heard on Foghorn Leghorn, although even the Baron becomes interesting in the last scene. I've not seen any channel in the UK carrying it, which is annoying, because I want to see what happens next.
On the flight over I watched 'The Emperor's New Groove', which is as good as people say, a documentary about the Lipizzaner called 'Perfect Horse', because of course I did (they are the perfect horse, and I am biased). It's very interesting, if a bit bizarre and probably not suitable for a plane flight.
I also ended up watching 'Wild Card' which is a miscellaneous Jason Statham film. In it's defence, the fight scenes are very well done and Michael Angarano is really good as the pencil-necked geek he is supposed to be playing. The setting and the feel of the thing are also well done. The problem is it just sort of stops when you think the story is about to kick in. Definitely not as bad as people would lead you to believe but some pacing issues. And also Milo Ventimiglia either doing a very bad job of playing a gangster or doing a very good job of playing the son of a gangster who is about as dangerous as kitchen towel but plays at being a bad guy. Stanley Tucci meanwhile is very good at playing one of those happy, polite people who is still terrifyingly dangerous.
On the way back I watched Man From U.N.C.L.E again and confirmed my main thoughts, which is to say, it's fun but it's not UNCLE.
Followed by Hitman: Agent 47, the Hitman reboot that no-one wanted or needed. It's not Rupert Friend's fault that he's not as good an actor as Timothy Olyphant. When the film gives him something to do other than look mean and moody (and lets him have facial expressions), he's actually quite fun. Ditto the heroine.
The same problem, more or less, was the problem with the fight scenes. Agent 47 is so over-powered that there is no threat to him, so there's nothing interesting about the fights. In the one fight where he is at risk, even though there's no more flair to it that the others, it's suddenly a lot more fun.
~~~~
I also feel tempted to e-mail the BBC to ask them to ask Tolsen Tullet who does the sport on the World Service to enunciate more clearly because I could barely follow him and I'm English as a first language so I don't know how EFL people cope and that's pretty much who the World Service is aimed at. It's not just me for once, my mother, whose hearing is better than mine, had the same problem.
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I was at a European haematology conference, which was filled with Italians who winced every time football was mentioned. By the end of the Germany match, the Germans were joining them.
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Time to recall this year's moments in the holiday photochallenge. Get 5 random photos uploaded to the blog in 2024 and share them with the audience!
Have an…
Let's celebrate the anniversary together! Learn more about the number 25 in the '25 facts about 25' project. Tell about yourself and your blog in the #LJ25 hashmob.…