queenitsy

Izzy Zanella wasn’t looking for another reason to butt heads with his Navy SEAL teammate, and nemesis, Danny Gillman. But then he met Danny’s beautiful younger sister, Eden. When she needed it most, he offered her a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on—and more. And when she got pregnant with another man’s child, he offered her marriage. But Eden’s devastating miscarriage shattered their life together—and made the intense bad blood between Izzy and Danny even worse.

Now Eden’s back, and she’s on a mission to rescue her teen brother, Ben, from their abusive stepfather. Even if she and Izzy can prove that their broken marriage is still in one piece, winning legal custody of Ben is a long shot. But they’re not alone: Danny and his girlfriend, Jenn, offer to help, and he and Izzy agree to bury the past and fight for Ben’s future.

As they plan their strategy, Izzy and Eden grapple with the raw passion that still crackles between them—while Danny and Jenn confront new depths in their own rocky relationship. But events take a terrifying turn after Ben befriends a girl fleeing a child prostitution ring. When the young runaway seeks refuge with Eden and Izzy, her pursuers kidnap Ben—and a deadly standoff begins. Now they must all pull together like never before and strike back, swift and hard, to protect their unconventional little family and everything they hold most precious.

YOU GUYSSSS. I love this book. The fact that I read it way out of chronological order -- it was either the first or second non-Jules centric book I read -- is why, despite the fact that he is often super skeezy, I still ultimately really like Izzy. This was a much better first impression than his actual first appearance. Or second appearance. Or… you get the idea, though he suffers upon discovering the full context. But more importantly: the romances in this book take a back seat to the fact that it’s about family. AND I LOVE STORIES ABOUT FAMILY.

I: Izzy and Eden
II: Jenn and Dan
III: And all the other stuff

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Only once, and that’s actual when Izzy gets knocked off his feet by an explosion and ends up “soul-kissing the pavement.”


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Izzy and Eden, still, assuming you can count Izzy and Dan as friends...


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Hahaha YEAH, Dan and Jenn sort of forget to use a condom on their wedding night and then decide not to and Dan is SO TURNED ON by the idea of her getting pregnant.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Izzy and Eden get all gropey in his car at one point and his watch gets stuck on her skirt when they try to jerk away from each other because Dan has walked up.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: No flu or food poisoning, but vomit galore. Dan throws up after he accidentally hits Jenn; Ben throws up due to some diabetes/kidnapping complications; Greg throws up because he’s super wasted and gross.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: Yep! He is conveniently on hand for the first scene when there’s that explosion, then vanishes for the entire rest of the book.


• JULES: Phones it in, helpfully leaking FBI info he knows Izzy and Dan will abuse. I mean, why not? That’s nothing compared to helping Nash fake his own death and whatever other nonsense he got up to before this.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Absent

BROCKMANNISM TALLY, SERIES LONG EDITION

• SOUL-KISSES: 18, or at least, 18 kisses (or non-kisses) that are variants on it - soul-kisses, soul-sucking kisses, soul-shattering kisses...


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Eden and Izzy, Ric and Annie, Ken and Savannah (college, close enough), and Tom and Kelly. With bonus shout outs to Jenk and Tracy (though they never actually happened), and Hannah and Murph, who a had similar vibe. (And I know this one comes up in at least one of the short stories, too.)


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Jenn and Dan (actually get pregnant), Sophia and Dave (actually get pregnant), Izzy and Eden (CLOSE ENOUGH considering how sexy he finds her pregnancy), Ric and Annie, Max and Giina (actually get pregnant), Molly and Jones (actually get pregnant), Robin and Patty (have a scare), Nash and Tess, Sam and Alyssa, Stan and Teri, Nils and Meg, Sam and Alyssa again.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Reconfiguring this slightly to inopportune or otherwise embarrassing, you get Izzy and Eden, Jenn and Dan, Decker and Tracy, Sam and Alyssa, Ric and Annie, Max and Gina, Sam and Alyssa again, and Tom and Kelly


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: There are only two books without some form of vomiting.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: The only books where Jay does not get to show up and be a medic are FORCE OF NATURE and BREAKING POINT, it turns out.


• JULES: After his introduction in book two, Jules is only absent from FLASHPOINT.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Are only absent from this final book - in every other book they are at the very least referenced in passing.

THE END.

I'm a late-20s, office-working New Yorker. My fannish stuff is public, my personal life stuff is friends only.

Friending policy: please be at least 20 and comment so I know who you are. Thanks!

Alyssa Locke is no stranger to dealing with danger. As team leader of the nation's number one personal security company, Troubleshooters Inc., she's seen more than her share of action, survived plenty of close calls, and holds her own with the best of them-and against the worst of them. Guarding lives is her game, and no one plays it better. But her toughest challenge will be protecting herself from a serial killer she's been after for years-known only as "The Dentist"-who isdetermined to make her his ultimate trophy.

The assignment was supposed to be an easy one: teach self-defense techniques to a newly elected assemblywoman and her chief of staff after a political controversy generates a blizzard of hate mail-including death threats-from hotheads and cranks. But as soon as she mobilizes her squad of moonlighting Navy SEALs in New York City, Alyssa begins butting heads with the hard-case cop who thinks that the Troubleshooters are chasing shadows.

Until they discover a dead body. And then another. Now Alyssa really has her hands full-bodyguarding two independent, busy women, managing a murder investigation, and trying to find time for her husband, Troubleshooters operative Sam Starrett, and their infant son. Meanwhile, it wouldn't be a Troubleshooters operation without romantic sparks and heated rivalries-and any time the SEALs of Team Sixteen are involved, there are plenty of both.

But then, while investigating a suspect, Alyssa is ambushed and suddenly finds herself imprisoned by The Dentist. Cut off from everyone she loves and relies on, Alyssa must call upon all of her strength and skill to survive this final confrontation with the sadistic monster, meanwhile trusting that her Troubleshooter teammates, led by her beloved Sam, will reach her before it's too late.

This book was honestly one of the most frustrating books in the series. It’s the second time the team has taken on a serial killer, and while I think it’s technically a better book than INTO THE STORM, it still made me want to pull my hair out with general irritation and later with, well… rage. I actually really like the concept of returning to a couple who’ve had their HEA and seeing how their life has changed, but it just did not work out well here. Arrrgh.

I: This is not a book about Alyssa.
II: Dan is the wooooorst.
III: Other points.

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: One, when Maria suggests Jenn should soul kiss Dan in the wake of the first time Jenn is kidnapped. JENN DON’T DO IT, HE’S THE WOSRT.


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Jenn and Dan have a similar vibe to this - she’s the friend of the person he’s been hired to protect - but it lacks the history aspect.


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Oh god, I don’t remember and I dislike this book too much to even skim through it as a refresher. Let’s just say assume yes, because it’s a Troubleshooters novel.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Jenn and Dan definitely have sex at one point right before everyone else arrives at her apartment and it’s extremely obvious and embarrassing, so I’m gonna say yes.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: A couple of people vomit (a random FBI agent who finds one of the serial killer’s victims). Meanwhile, a ha, text find in my Nook tells me that Lindsey has the flu and Jenk stays home to take care of her, which is why he’s not in the book.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: It should tell you how mediocre this book was that Jay was actually a supporting character and I -- who knows such exciting trivia as what kind of car he drives and that he’s an only child and where his parents are from! -- literally don’t remember a single thing he said or did. Presumably medic-ing. idk. (Actually: I’m pretty sure he flirted with Maria, who passed him over for Izzy, because Jay never gets the girl.)


• JULES: Does not, in fact, get suffocated.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Well, obviously.

Taking on the world's deadliest criminals is what the elite security force Troubleshooters Incorporated does best. But now they face a new and powerful threat from their most lethal enemy yet--a shadowy government outfit known only as The Agency.

For years, operative James Nash has performed ultra-covert "Black Ops" missions for The Agency, but when he decide to walk away from their dirty work, his corrupt bosses aren't about to let him go. After Nash is nearly assassinated, Troubleshooters team leader Lawrence Decker launches a skillful deception to neutralize the threat and protect his friend. With the FBI's help, Decker fakes Nash's death, then brings him to a safe house with his fiancee, Tess Bailey, to recover from his injuries and strategize their next move.

Only a handful of people know that Nash is still alive--and fellow Troubleshooters Dave Malkoff, Sophia Ghaffari, and receptionist Tracy Shapiro aren't among them. Believing that Nash is dead and that Decker has begun a romantic relationship with Tess, Sophia settles for second best and begins a love affair with Dave, who has adored her for years. But Tracy puts two and two together, discovering the truth about Nash--much to Decker's dismay.

As passions flare, Decker struggles to keep his scheme afloat, and to keep Nash alive. But when he finds himself targeted for death, the game turns even more perilous, and Sophia, Tracy, and Dave are swept into the deadly play. Under fire and racing to unmask their relentless adversary, the Troubleshooters know that the closer they get, the greater the risks. But sacrifices and consequences come with the territory. Forced to choose between love and loyalty, they are no longer just solving a crime--they're fighting for survival.

OH MY GOD, THAT’S SO MUCH STUFF. AGAIN.

I initially read this book completely out of order in the series, because a friend was like THE DECKER/TRACY SEX SCENES THO, and I did indeed enjoy them. But I disliked the book overall, because I had literally no idea what was going on -- I hadn’t read any of the other books leading up to it, so I didn’t even know most of the characters were, and I could not keep Decker, Nash, and Dave straight. Which makes the book completely incomprehensible.

But! I reread it for this project and it made waaaay more sense the second time around. Unfortunately, it was still not very good, but at least I knew who was who.

I: The plot of this book doesn’t work at all.
II: BUT WHO CARES, BECAUSE DECKER/TRACY THO.
III: Also Dave/Sophia I guess.
IV: Other bits ‘n pieces

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Oddly none. And no soul-sucking kisses, either.


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Absent


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Scare, not exactly - Sophia is, in fact, pregnant. And of course Dave is into it, though thank god he doesn’t linger on it the way Izzy did in the previous book.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Decker and Tracy get interrupted while nekkid just before sex at one point, which is pretty inopportune; later, when they do get it on, it’s in the office and she can’t find her underwear after. Jules spots it in Decker’s office later, to Decker’s complete mortification. So inopportune, yes. Heh. (Tracy also tells Decker that she has definitely seen Tom and Kelly in a supply closet, and knows full well what Sam and Alyssa are doing when they ask her to hold their calls. SO MUCH SEX IN THE TROUBLESHOOTERS OFFICE, my god.)


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: No flu or food poisoning that I recall, but I believe Sophia has some morning sickness, and a cop throws up when he sees a dead body.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN:Yep! Again, Jay actually gets to be a supporting character here, though briefly. But he does hit on Tracy. Which does not super work out for him. Much like it also did not work out to flirt with Lindsey. Or Teri. Oh, Jay. You will never, ever get the girl.


• JULES: Present and accounted for. ;_____;


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Also there!

Description from Goodreads: Vinh Murphy -- ex-Marine and onetime operative for the elite security firm Troubleshooters Incorporated -- has been MIA ever since his wife, Angelina, was caught in a crossfire and killed during what should have been a routine bodyguard assignment. Overcome with grief, Murphy blames the neo-Nazi group known as the Freedom Network for her death. Now, years later, Freedom Network leader Tim Ebersole has been murdered -- and the FBI suspects Murphy may have pulled the trigger. To prevent further bloodshed, Murphy's friends at Troubleshooters scramble to find him and convince him to surrender peacefully.

Murphy himself can't be sure what he did or didn't do during the years he spent mourning and lost in an alcohol-induced fog. He does know he occasionally sought solace from Hannah Whitfield, a former police officer and the very friend who'd introduced him to his beloved late wife.

But Hannah, still grappling with the deafness that resulted from an injury sustained while on duty, was fighting her own battles. For years Hannah had feelings for Murphy, and one painful night their suffering brought them together in a way neither expected -- and both regretted.

But finally, Murphy is ready to rejoin the living. As always, he finds himself knocking on Hannah's door, and as always, his longtime friend welcomes him back into her home. Yet even as Murphy slowly rebuilds his splintered life, he continues to fight his growing feelings for Hannah. Then he learned of Ebersole's murder and comes to believe that the Freedom Network has targeted him -- and Hannah -- to avenge their leader's death.

Now Murphy must face the terrifying prospect of losing to violence another woman he loves.

As the Troubleshooters desperately search for him, Murphy races toward a deadly confrontation with the Freedom Network and the ultimate choice: surrender his life in the hopes that Hannah will be spared, or risk everything to salvage whatever future they may have together.

My, what a long introduction. And man, what a lot of stuff there was in this book. While it wasn’t exactly a good book, it does spotlight some female friendships (yay!), introduce Eden (YAY!), feature Dan punching Izzy in the face repeatedly (YAAAAAY) and also feature Decker and Nash getting into homoerotic fisticuffs in a parking lot (YAAAAAAY!!!!). It was utterly forgettable, but unlike, say, INTO THE STORM, it was still pretty enjoyable.

I: Murph and Hannah and the ostensible plot
II: Female friendships, hooray!!
III: Decker/Therapy OTP
IV: Izzy, Eden, and the Boyband

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: None, but one “soul-sucking kiss”


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: A-yup - Izzy/Eden gets this one, since Eden is Dan’s little sister. (Not that Dan would describe himself as Izzy's friend.) But also, Murphy/Hannah have a very similar vibe (she’s his friend’s niece, not sister, but it’s close), and Murphy/Angelina, while further afield, ALSO have that vibe (since she was his best friend’s other best friend).


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: It’s not a scare, it’s an actual pregnancy, and hooooboy does Izzy think it’s hot. Ick ick ick. (Meanwhile, Hannah and Murphy have no scare, but also have sex sans condoms because she’s on the pill, so it’s “safe.” Except, um, he has been in a fugue state for several years and literally can’t remember the last six months of his life. DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM WITHOUT A CONDOM, YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE HE’S BEEN. Hello, I work in HIV education in real life. Anyway.)


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Remarkably, no. Izzy and Eden get close, but only close enough that Dan yells at Izzy to stop messing around with her.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: No flu or food poisoning, and I wouldn’t say “no reason,” but Murphy vomits when Hannah is shot and he starts flashing back to Angelina’s death.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: Jay is an actual character with an actual personality in this book! Also still a medic, but he does relatively little medic-ing. (He is actually pretty conservative in a not-my-fave way -- he makes it clear he’s uncomfortable with Izzy and Eden getting married because marriage should be religious -- but he also is the one who is adamant about finding Murphy first because Murphy is a large black man who law enforcement is looking for, and if they don’t get to him first there’s a depressingly real chance a rookie cop will see him, freak out, and shoot on sight. It’s one of the few times race is directly brought up in the series, and actually works very well.)


• JULES: Has a couple of cameos as the AIC of the hunt for Murphy, since he knew Murphy from HOT TARGET and wants to help him.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Referenced as passing - they’re off on an op somewhere. Theoretically they show up for the climax, but only in a long list of names of people who are also there and whose actions we don’t really see.

First: A list of all male Troubleshooters leads, ranked in order of datability. Alrighty.

Goodreads summary: It's Christmastime in Boston, and this year the silver bells will be wedding bells as FBI agent Jules Cassidy ties the knot with the man of his dreams, Hollywood heartthrob Robin Chadwick.

The pair plan a quiet, intimate ceremony, to be witnessed by family and close friends from the FBI, SEAL Team Sixteen, and Troubleshooters, Incorporated, including Sam Starrett and Alyssa Locke. But the holiday season brings more to the happy couple than they expect.

A waterfall coming through their kitchen ceiling, a bat colony in the attic, old family tensions . . . even an international incident can't dampen their spirits. But add to that a parade of unexpected guests, including a reporter looking for a scoop, an ex-lover hell-bent on causing trouble, and a dangerous stalker, and suddenly the wedding is poised to unravel in chaos.

But nothing will stop Jules and Robin from getting their happy ending, because along with a guest list featuring the most elite counterterrorism force in the world, they have their own secret weapon—true love.

I LOVE THIS BOOK. It is actually a novella, and I read it every winter (it does not take too long), and it is wonderful. I am a huge, huge fan of fluffy curtainfic, and this book just literally is that. I mean WOW. Jules and Robin buy their dreamhouse and plan their wedding, and that’s it. That’s the book. IT’S SO GREAT.

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Two


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Nope


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Nope, though I suspect largely because Will and Dolphina never bang. Meanwhile, ALL OTHER COUPLES ARE PREGNANT. It’s a lot to take.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Sam talks about all the inopportune sex he and Alyssa have been having (and that he wants to have -- at the office, in elevators, etc). Jules and Robin don’t quite, but there are plenty of times Robin convinces a very busy Jules to be a little later so they can bang.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: The entire opening section of the book is Jules with serious food poisoning vomiting for hours.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: Yep. The scene where Team Sixteen shows up to rescue Jules specifies that Jay is there. With his medical kit. Because he’s a medic. Did you know?


• JULES: Has all the sex. All of it.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Sharing best man and best friend duty, aww.

OKAY FIRST A SILLY THING; I doubt more than one or two people read this who don't also follow me on tumblr, but because I'm me, I did, in fact, write a 30k fic about Adam and Tony, also featuring Jay Lopez smooching a girl. It's over on AO3.

Description from Goodreads: Florida private investigator and ex-cop Ric Alvarado's life is spiraling out of control. His beautiful new girl Friday, Annie Dugan, is far more interested in fieldwork than filing, and despite Ric's best efforts to ignore the attraction, sparks are flying between them. Then one of Ric's clients turns femme fatale and tries to gun down an innocent man. Thanks to quick thinking and even quicker reflexes, Ric comes to the rescue, only to learn he's done a very good deed for some very bad people. Suddenly Ric finds himself deep undercover with Annie, working for notorious crime boss Gordon Burns. One mistake from Ric's painfully inexperienced partner and they're both dead.

FBI agent Jules Cassidy's life isn't in much better shape. For years the FBI has been trying to prove Gordon Burns's ties to terrorist activity. Now, thanks to Ric and Annie, Jules has found a way into the lion's den. But in the course of his investigation he comes face-to-face with Robin Chadwick, the charismatic but self-destructive and closeted movie star for whom Jules feels a powerful attraction. Robin's in town promoting his latest film and Gordon Burns is a star-struck movie buff. With Robin and Jules's help, Ric and Annie are soon entrenched in Burns' organization, surrounded by killers who may already have executed an FBI infiltrator. Before long the couple realizes that many more lives besides their own will be at stake if they make a false move. As the heat between them reaches dangerous levels, so do the risks they're willing to take-in the line of duty, for the sake of loyalty, and in the name of something that runs even deeper.

THIS IS THE ONE WHERE JULES AND ROBIN BANG IN A LIMO. Also other things happen. I… I don’t have a ton to say on this one.

I: Annie is great! Ric is the wooooorst
II: JULES AND ROBIN THO
III: I guess also there’s a plot

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: One.


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Yep - Annie was Ric’s best friend’s little sister in high school, who he’s had a crush on since she was 11.
• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Yep, not shockingly, Ric and Annie forget to use a condom and he is sooooooo into it.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Yep, that same scene. Ric realizes that he’s not wearing a condom and can’t pull out, because the motion would make him come, so...he has to propose to her first. Sure.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: Robin does not, in fact, have a flu, but he tries to convince himself he does while he’s actually detoxing. And of course there’s also plenty of drunken/hungover vomiting. Oh, Robin. You mess.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: Nope. There are shockingly few SEALs in this book.


• JULES: Juuuuuuuuuules :ugly sobbing:


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Exchange some emails with Jules, in which they dispense some reasonably good advice (and also offer to hook him up with Tony, heehee). Sam himself does actually show up in person, but Alyssa doesn’t, alas.

(Sorry for the lack of reviews the last few weeks! I am way behind where I should be in writing them, so things are probably going to be sporadic for the rest of the series.)

Description from Goodreads: In a remote, frozen corner of New Hampshire, a Navy SEAL team and the elite security experts of Troubleshooters, Incorporated are going head-to-head as fierce but friendly rivals in a raid-and-rescue training exercise. Despite the frigid winter temperatures, tension smolders between veteran SEAL Petty Officer Mark "Jenk" Jenkins and former cop turned Troubleshooter Lindsey Fontaine after an impulsive night goes awry. And then, suddenly, Tracy Shapiro, the Troubleshooters' new receptionist, vanishes while playing the role of hostage during a mock rescue operation.

Teaming up with the FBI to launch a manhunt in the treacherous wilderness, Jenk and Lindsey must put aside their feelings as a record snowstorm approaches, dramatically reducing any hope of finding Tracy alive. The trail is colder than the biting New England climate until a lucky break leads to a horrifying discovery--a brutally murdered young woman wearing the jacket Tracy wore when she disappeared. Suddenly there is a chilling certainty that Tracy has fallen prey to a serial killer--one who knows the backwoods terrain and who doesn't play by the rules of engagement.

In a race against time, a raging blizzard, and a cunning opponent, Jenk and Lindsey are put to the ultimate test. Rising everything, they must finally come together in a desperate attempt to save Tracy--and each other.

Hmph. Well, this is another one where the blurb makes the book sound way more plotty than it actually is. But we’ll get to that...

I: The Boyband!
II: Jenk and Lindsey
III: Hey, Nice Subplots
IV: Kinda Meh Actual Plot, Though

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Three: twice when Decker doesn’t soul kiss Sophia, and once during Lindsey and Jenk’s frantic sex.


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Kind of: Jenk spends the first half of the book crushing on Tracy, who is, in fact, his sister’s friend from high school


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Remarkably, none! Two couples have sex in this book and they somehow both manage to use protection effectively each and every time.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Absent - there’s some really bad idea sex in a car, but it isn’t exactly inopportune


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: No flu or food poisoning, but the serial killer’s victim vomits a couple of times.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: GUYS, GUYS, JAY IS AN ACTUAL CHARACTER IN THIS BOOK FOR MORE THAN THREE PAGES!!! HE GETS TO HAVE LINES AND A PERSONALITY AND STUFF!! DID I MENTION I LOVE HIM?? (But yes, his medical expertise is used repeatedly.)


• JULES: Phones it in. Literally, he is in one page, on the phone.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Are referenced in the background but barely actually appear on page.

Description from Goodreads: As commander of the nation's most elite FBI counterterrorism unit, agent Max Bhagat leads by hard-driving example: pushing himself to the limit and beyond, taking no excuses, and putting absolutely nothing ahead of his work. That includes his deep feelings for Gina Vitagliano, the woman who won his admiration and his heart with her courage under fire. But when the shocking news reaches him that Gina has been killed in a terrorist bombing, nothing can keep Max from making a full investigation-and retribution-his top priority.

At the scene of the attack, however, Max gets an even bigger shock. Gina is still very much alive-but facing a fate even worse than death. Along with Molly Anderson, a fellow overseas relief worker, Gina has fallen into the hands of a killer who is bent on using both women to bait a deadly trap. His quarry? Grady Morant, a.k.a "Jones," a notorious ex-Special Forces operative turned smuggler who made some very deadly enemies in the jungles of Southeast Asia . . . and has been running ever since. But with Molly's life on the line, Jones is willing to forfeit his own to save the woman he loves.

Together with Max's top agent Jules Cassidy as their only backup, the unlikely allies plunge into a global hot zone of violence and corruption to make a deal with the devil. Not even Jones knows which ghosts from his past want him dead. But there's one thing he's sure of-there's very little his bloodthirsty enemies aren't willing to do.

This book is the payoff for two storylines that have been building for ages -- Max and Gina since book three, and Molly and Jones since book four. But sadly, instead of going out with a bang, both romances kind of fizzled. Though plenty of banging was involved.

I: The structure
II: The couples
III: Whaaaat?

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Once: Gina complains that she and Max haven’t soul-kissed.


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Absent


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: There are two pregnancy scares. And, not coincidentally, two pregnancies.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: I think Max and Gina getting walked in on when they bang on the kitchen table probably counts as inopportune, though the “can’t pull out part” is still absent.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: SO MUCH YES. There is a bus full of volunteers who have the flu, one of whom vomits on Gina, who then also gets the flu and vomits a lot; meanwhile there is a ton of morning sickness-induced puking as well.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: For the very first time in the series, no! Jay, where are you?! Are you okay?!?! What if someone needs a medic?!?!


• JULES: Yes! Jules is a delight as he wears down Max, slowly forcing him to admit they are friends.


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Alyssa has a cameo at the end. Sam is supposedly with her, though he doesn’t actually show up.

Description from Goodreads: Like most men of action, Navy SEAL Chief Cosmo Richter never learned how to take a vacation. So when he finds himself facing a month’s leave, he offers his services to Troubleshooters Incorporated. Founded by a former SEAL, the private-sector security firm is a major player in the ongoing war against terrorism, known for carrying out covert missions too volatile for official U.S. military action. But the first case Richter takes on is anything but under the radar.

High-profile maverick movie producer Jane Mercedes Chadwick hasn’t quite completed her newest film, but she’s already courting controversy. The World War II epic frankly portrays the homosexuality of a real-life hero–and the storm of advance media buzz surrounding it has drawn the fury of extremist groups. But despite a relentless campaign of angry E-mails, phone calls, and smear tactics, Chadwick won’t be pressured into abandoning the project. Then the harassment turns to death threats.

While the FBI appears on the scene, nervous Hollywood associates call in Troubleshooters, and now Chadwick has an army of round-the-clock bodyguards, whether she likes it or not. And she definitely doesn’t. But her stubbornness doesn’t make FBI agent Jules Cassidy’s job any easier. The fiercely independent filmmaker presents yet another emotional obstacle that Cassidy doesn’t need–he’s already in the midst of a personal tug-of-war with his ex-lover, while fighting a growing attraction to Chadwick’s brother.

Determined to succeed–and survive–on her own terms, Chadwick will face off with enemies and allies alike. But she doesn’t count on the bond she forms with the quiet, capable Cosmo Richter. Yet even as their feelings bring them closer, the noose of deadly terror all around them draws tighter. And when all hell erupts, desire and desperate choices will collide on a killing ground that may trap them both in the crossfire.

Is it me, or are these descriptions getting longer and longer? I find it delightful that it takes a time-out from the A-plot of the book to be like: “Also: JULES.”

Anyhoo: I love this book so much I spend every reread just squeaking and hiding my face. This was, I think, my fourth time through it. (I LOVE THIS BOOK.) It was the first time I’ve read it since reading the first seven books in the series, though, which was interesting. (Heyyy I know who Decker is now, and yep, he and Nash are Those Two Guys.) But mostly, like OUT OF CONTROL, this is just another book where all of the characters are wonderful, all of the relationships work, and everything in Brockmann’s toolbox is used beautifully.

I: Cosmo and Jane are so great
II: A brief digression into storytelling nerdery
II: Jules is so great (Robin’s kind of a fuck up)
IV: That’s pretty much it, actually.

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BROCKMANNISM TALLY

• USES OF THE PHRASE “SOUL-KISS”: Nope, but one kiss that can “suck the very soul out of her body.”


• COUPLE WHO KNEW EACH OTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR SHE’S HIS FRIEND’S SISTER: Ha, no, but if we count Jane and Jules as friends (why not? everyone loves Jules), then than his love interest is indeed her younger sibling. So, similar. (Not really. I’m reaching. Hush.)


• PREGNANCY SCARE HE SECRETLY THINKS IS HOT: Pregnancy scare yes (Robin and Patty); hot, no.


• SEX AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME AND HE CAN’T PULL OUT BECAUSE REASONS: Nope.


• SOMEONE HAS THE FLU/FOOD POISONING/OTHERWISE VOMITS FOR NO REASON: No flu or food poisoning, but Robin vomits while hungover a lot.


• JAY LOPEZ SHOWS UP, EXPLAINS THAT HE’S A MEDIC, AND VANISHES AGAIN: Yeppp, Jay is only in one scene, the prologue in which they’re rescuing hostages, but here is the actual text: “Good evening, ladies. We’re U.S. Navy SEALs and we’ve come to take you home. I’m Corpsman Jay Lopez--I’m a field medic--and as soon as we get this door open I’m going to give you a quick check…” #JAYSHOULDAHADABOOK


• JULES: SO MUCH JULES AND IT’S SO WONDERFUL! \o/


• SAM AND ALYSSA: Still out of the country on a mysterious foreign op, but Jules does call and leave them voicemail.