Birth Mother’s Day

Honoring Birth Mothers: Holding Space for Both Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day

By Emily Morehead, PhD candidate, LPC-S, PMH-C
Regular Contributor

Birth Mother’s Day, observed on the second Saturday of May, was created to recognize birth mothers who have placed a child for adoption. For some, it offers a space to be acknowledged in their motherhood. For others, it can feel complicated or even painful to separate this date from Mother’s Day.

In clinical work with birth parents over the years, I’ve found that there is no singular way to feel, respond, or honor this season. For some birth parents, Birth Mother’s Day feels like a meaningful opportunity to be seen. For others, it may bring up grief, loss, or a sense of being set apart. Some prefer to be included in Mother’s Day. Others choose to hold both days differently or not at all. This is the nature of grief and identity in adoption: it is not either/or. It is both/and. And within that duality, birth parents deserve to be witnessed fully in their motherhood.

Many birth parents share that Birth Mother’s Day allows space for acknowledgment that might otherwise feel missing. Others express that creating a separate day can feel like being “othered,” as though their motherhood exists outside of the broader narrative.

As a birth parent, you can reflect on the following questions in order to care for yourself in this season:

What does this day mean to me?
How do I want to be supported?
What feels honoring or protective this year?
How can I communicate this with my support system?

If you love a birth parent or are one yourself, support begins with slowing down and centering to the perspective shared or felt. Rather than assuming what might feel meaningful, we can gently invite conversation around support with care.

Ask, Don’t Assume

A simple, open-ended question can create safety:

“What would feel most supportive to you this weekend?”

“Would you like to be acknowledged on Mother’s Day, Birth Mother’s Day, both, or neither?”

Honor Their Identity as a Mother

Birth parents are mothers, and acknowledging their motherhood can be deeply meaningful when it aligns with their wishes.

You can do this by offering:

A handwritten note naming their strength and love
A quiet acknowledgment without pressure to celebrate
Using language that affirms their role, not diminishes it
Respecting boundaries without taking them personally

Honoring a birth mother is not about choosing the “right” day, but it is about loving her with care and respect. Honoring and witnessing a woman’s tenderness in her motherhood is a gift you can give.

All perspectives are welcome and honored. No matter how you honor your motherhood and adoption journey- we see and honor you!

Remember, Postpartum Support International offers support groups for Birth Moms.

About the Author

By Emily Morehead, PhD candidate, LPC-S, PMH-C

Emily Morehead is a Co-Owner, Psychotherapist, and Clinical Supervisor at The Couch Therapy, PLLC. Emily is a PhD candidate in Marriage and Family Therapy at Texas Woman’s University. She recently completed the Sexual Health Certificate Program at the University of Michigan, focusing on Sex Therapy. Emily engages in academic research projects and serves as an instructor in courses in Human Sciences, Counseling, and Marriage and Family Therapy for both bachelor’s and master’s level coursework.

As the co-owner and clinical supervisor at The Couch Therapy, PLLC, Emily provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples, and groups, supervises pre-licensed clinicians, and conducts reproductive third-party consultations and psychological evaluations. She is also responsible for practice development, community relations, and clinician training.

Emily has spoken at local, state, and international mental health and relationship conferences and was recently named Editor’s Choice by TEDx. Emily has published papers in Parents’ and Huffington Post. Emily’s current research interests are diverse and include estrangement, clinical supervision best practices, sexual health, maternal mental health, and parenting. Connect with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy, position, or views of PSI, its leadership, employees, affiliates, or partners. Any content provided by the author is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as representing PSI’s official stance on any matter.

Explore these PSI Resources:

PSI’s Birth Mothers Resources
Free Peer Support Groups
PSI’s Peer Mentor Program
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