"Would you rather be zombified or covered in chocolate sauce and raw meat?”

Amanda gave me a sideways glance, letting me know that neither one was her idea of a good time.

"What have you gotten me into?” She had asked me at least half a dozen times that day.

I just smiled back at her, "Come on, you know it’ll be an adventure!”

"An adventure, sure. One I hope to survive. What if these guys are axe murderers or something?”

That was a question I couldn’t answer. I’d never met them before either. I had responded to a Craigslist ad and agreed to bring a friend. The more the merrier, they said. I begged and pleaded with Amanda to join me because the idea of showing up all alone in another state with a bunch of strangers from Craigslist didn’t exactly sound like a good idea to me. She reluctantly agreed to come along and watch, to protect me against the possible killers. At 4’9 and maybe 100 pounds, I’m not sure what kind of damage she could have done, but nonetheless, she was going to stay by my side through this madness.

We set out for the adventure, and even just getting there was ridiculous. We had gotten into a minor car accident, we had gotten lost. The Universe may have been telling us to not do it, but I was bound and determined to have this adventure.

We were going to be in a zombie movie. Even if getting there killed us.

After my marriage came crumbling down around me, I knew I needed a little more adventure in my life. I try to live life in an interesting way, one where I have interesting stories to tell. I look for the quirks in life that make it interesting. My marriage hadn’t worked out, and one of the main reasons was because my ex didn’t get me. He didn’t understand this unique world view. I knew and grudgingly accepted it, and I tried to change myself in the process. I tried to be more "grown-up” and practical.

However, once we separated, I knew I needed to find myself. I really didn’t know what I was searching for on the local Craigslist, but I found an ad looking for extras for a small student made zombie movie. I had done theater in high school and my childhood dream was to be an actress. I have since settled on more realistic goals, but at the same time, I felt a sense of yearning to try my hand at a film. I love horror movies and it sounded like fun.

Amanda wasn’t as eager as I was, but she said she could at least watch if anything else.

The movie was being shot at the local park, and being a warm April day, there were kids around and families enjoying picnics right along side the mayhem. They had a makeup team assembled that applied white face paint, dark circles around our eyes and of course... The fake blood.

Amanda had only intended to watch, but as the guys started assembling everything, she somehow got pulled into the madness. Which considering how awesome the people were, it was pretty easy to forget about the crazy axe murderer talk and let loose a little bit.

First up was the makeup.



(For the visually impaired: The photo above is of Amanda having white face paint applied.)

The director turned to the makeup guy and said to him, "Make her look dead. That means make her as pale as possible.”

The makeup guy took one look at my pasty white skin and sat his makeup down, "Well I guess we don’t have to put any makeup on you then!”

I found out that with proper makeup, I can get even more translucent than I already am.

The kids at the park were pointing and asking questions, and Amanda was afraid the cops might be called. I told her she had nothing to worry about. If the cops came, we would deny having anything to do with those freaks. She agreed that might be a good idea. The makeup guy almost fell over laughing because with our pasty white makeup and fake blood, there was no denying we were part of the freakshow.

First up was Amanda’s scene where they walked up to a fence acting like zombies on the hunt for brains. They were supposed to make zombie noises and shake the fence angrily. My poor, shy cousin, got directions several times. Being a zombie just wasn’t in her blood, apparently. She couldn’t fake it very well, but the director gave her a big "A” for effort.



(This photo is with several zombies in between takes, one of which is getting chocolate sauce poured into his mouth from across the fence.)

I just loved taking pictures of her between takes while squeezing chocolate sauce all over her. Did I mention she is very OCD about cleanliness? The stickiness bothered her, which was only intensified by the really warm weather we were having. She had chocolate sauce in her hair, and the makeup felt heavy on her face. I think she cursed me over and over again, and asked "What have you gotten me into?”



(This photo is of Amanda glaring at me between takes, trying to keep from touching herself with the awful stickiness.)

All the while, I reminded her that it was a once in a lifetime experience! We were on an adventure and she would forever be able to tell people about the time she was in a zombie film.

She flipped me off, but there was a smile hidden behind her scowl.

When it came turn for my scene, I was introduced to the boy who would be umm ahem "eating me”. He was a nice boy, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. We walked arm-in-arm over to our location together, where I was to lay on the ground and allow chocolate sauce to be poured all over me. The director dabbled just a little chocolate sauce on my tummy, and I kept telling him to add more. I finally grabbed the bottle, unscrewed the lid and doused myself in the sticky sweet yumminess.



(This is me laying on the ground and getting sprayed with red dyed chocolate sauce, before I told them to just pour it on me. The guy watching is the zombie who ate me.)

The director was impressed.

We practiced a few scenes before the director realized the zombie needed more blood. He started yelling "Put more chocolate sauce on her! Now put it in your mouth!”

I heard some giggling and chatter going on to my left, "What kind of film is this?” Obviously, I wasn’t the only one thinking it all sounded very sexual in nature.

I closed my eyed and tried to stay as still as possible for the shoot. Just as we were getting ready to start filming, I hear my zombie pal go "I found her like this, I swear!”. I opened my eyes to an innocent bystander looking at us, very confused and a little worried. I sat up and she chuckled, relieved to see that I was in fact alive.

"My worst fear is coming across something like this for real while I’m out walking!” She checked out the remaining actors and seemed to approve, "You really looked dead there for a second!”

Nice. Maybe I really could do this acting thing. Step One: Play a dead girl. Step Two: Win an Oscar.

We finally finished the shoot, and I was absolutely covered in sticky chocolate sauce.



(This photo is of me covered in chocolate sauce and ready for a hug.)

The movie wrapped up and we said our goodbyes. I had a special fondness for the boy who ate chocolate sauce off my stomach though, and he told me "It was nice to eat you” before I left.

We were invited to stay and do another movie, a vampire flick from another guy in the group. I wanted to stay and do more because I was having a blast. But Amanda, the wet blanket that she is, had had enough adventure for one day.

I figure though, if Andy Warhol was right and we all get 15 minutes, I’m still owed a few more minutes. So maybe I’ll try to get myself eaten on the big screen sometime soon.

Or maybe not.



("How to: Survive a Zombie Attack" is the finished product from our adventure. It's a student made film, and it's meant to be slightly cheesy and have a classic zombie feel to it.)