Dirt Simple Domains (OSE?)

 

dunno the source, alas

Thinking (as usual?) about clerics. You know that I like gods with some personality. But there's certainly an aesthetic space for something a bit more one-note. Sometimes all that is relevant to a game is that such-and-such shrine is dedicated to the god of fire, or my cleric worships the sword-god, or this blade is holy to the god of frogs. The assumed cleric of an old school game (I'm using OSE as the example, cause its easy) is devoted to the god (possibly God) of light or law or life or something, or conversely to evil/chaos/death. They don't often have strictures, at least not by default, that would prevent them from, say, graverobbing. They're just supposed to, vaguely, advance the cause of good.

So, let's think similarly about the cleric of the god of frogs. They aren't bound that "thou shalt always be slimy" by the trickster frog Glorn. They worship simply the god of frogs, and will try to "advance the cause of frogs", whatever that entails, but in the same vague way that the fighter wants to avenge their parents. When you have a cleric like this, here is what you can do:

First, determine if the deity is lawful, neutral, or chaotic. You can pretty much just let the player pick, or use whatever alignment they are gonna be. This tells you if they are going to use the normal or reversed version of spells, of course.

Then, pick whichever spell on the cleric spell list is least fitting to the god, and replace that with the most fitting spell from the MU spell list of the same level (or illusionist/druid spell list, if you are using the full rules). This can be a bit tricky with only the MU spell list since they can be a little generic, but remember that being old-school doesn't mean we are banned from reflavoring things. For instance, for the god of frogs, I would replace Light with Shield (I would choose Sleep, but we all know Sleep is a bit overpowered)

When the cleric reaches higher levels of spells, repeat this process with the new level, taking into account any fun flavor your cleric mentioned about their god. Our frog god at second level will lose Bless and get Hypnotic Pattern. 

Finally, if you'd like, you can replace Turn Undead with a category of creature that the god would be opposed to. You could also Turn that category as well as undead, maybe increasing the effective HD of the turned creature. I think the god of frogs would be neutral on the subject of undead, but would rather loathe birds.

I don't pretend that this is a new idea or houserules, I just wanted to write about it. I might write up a short list of simple gods like this just for fun later on. I think if I were to add clerics to Fifth Fantasy, it would be in a similar vein.

ANSWERING PHLOX'S 51

GLoGhack: Hypogeum

1. How do I make enough money to have regular meals? (Deus)

Folk will probably feed you if you help them, but currency is not really a thing.

2. What do people do to get Fucked up around here?  (Vayra)

Its hard to find a substance in Hypogeum that isn't psychoactive. The local wisefolk could probably direct you. Sorcerers are arguably constantly fucked up on mana potions.

3. How much racism are we talking? Fantasy racism or regular? (Vayra)

A little racism, as a treat. Humans think Folk are stupid babies, and Darklings are demons. Folk think humans are cool weirdos and maybe thieves, and Darklings are honorable warriors and sorcerers who I'd never like to meet, no sir. Darklings think Folk are hedonists, and humans are possibly creatures of ancient myth. Everyone thinks skeletons are very mysterious, and grimalkin are just humans but friendlier and sneakier.

4. Who's the nearest religious figure I can annoy? (Vayra)

The folk have temples of various sorts, and wisefolk (sometimes relic-seekers) run them. In general, ridiculously easy to co-opt.

5. Why do most sensible people avoid [Magic Users]? (Gorinich)

In order of magic-ness: Sorcerers undergo violent mood swings, relic-seekers are servants of some power, Sword-artists are master murderers as a matter of course, Fools are clowns, Clever-Things are thieves, and Strife's-Children generally lack empathy and fear.

6. What's the local sports team? What do they play? are they any good? (Vayra)

Folk play War. Its basically capture the flag with clubs. Do they know what actual war is? Its still pretty dangerous, because the main field is the parts of the dungeon between two settlements. The teams are simply named after colors, but humans tend to give them more fanciful exonyms, which the folk accept. Your team are the blue mushrooms, and are kinda trash.

7. What's my sword made of? I started with three rations, what are they? Are they any good? (Vayra)

Swords that come from the Otherworld might be made out of steel, but swords around here are made out of sword, or whatever material you gave the folksmith. Your rations are probably mushrooms, moss, or shadowmeat. Its pretty good. Sweet.

8. What actually is a GLoG? (Everythings)

GLoG is a kind of Taoist Alchemy

9. Where can I find some orbs? (Gorinich)

It is hard to find places without orbs

10. What do orbs do? (Gorinich)

Orbs are the most common type of relic, and are easy ways to get spells, though you'll have to do some research to get the spells out of them.

11. Why's the Milk gone? (Everythings)

No cows. If someone gives you milk, don't drink it.

12. Can I have a pet? Can I have a weird pet? Can it talk? (Vayra)

You can only have a weird pet, cause animals don't tend to get isekai'd with you. Humans sometimes keep Folk as "pets".

13. Am I allowed to be famous from the start or do I have to figure it out in play? (Vayra)

You can be famous in the starting village. This doesn't mean that much.

14. Am I allowed to be cursed from the start or do I have to figure it out in play? (Vayra)

Depends on the curse.

15. What possible explanations would you accept for me being a time traveler, or from a different dimension? (vayra)

Possible explanations: you are human. That's it.

16. Is evil real? What is it? (random_interrupt)

Maybe? Some seekers collect and study "evil", but we're not really sure if that means anything besides aesthetics.

17. Frogs? (Everythings)

Yes but also no.

18. What's the best combat aircraft available? How much does it cost? How much does a flight of four of them cost? (vayra)

Angels supposedly exist. Is that a combat aircraft? Does casting flight make you a combat aircraft? It can make you a ICBM, I guess.

19. That's too expensive. How can I steal one/four? (vayra)

Shut up

20. Are italians real? why not? Can I say my rations are ragu, in case I run into some? (vayra 🙄)

Italians are real. You can start with ragu.

21. Is there some kind of wizard boss, or kung fu boss, how good is his kung fu/wozerdry? (random_interrupt)

There's probably one of each among the darklings, and maybe one among the skeletons?

22. What's the die I'm going to be rolling for checks? Is my character aware of its existence? What's the save vs. existential horror? (fifth)

d20. aware of the dice? If you are a sorcerer you might be. No save, just choose whether you want to comprehend or ignore. 

23. How many children am I allowed to start with? How about chickens? (vayra)

Humans don't start with any, or at least any present. Folk can start with some. Chickens aren't present. 

24. What's the deal with demons in this setting? Pure evil, just a type of creature, incarnations of desire or sin, depends on the subtype? (sylvanas_iii)

some Humans call Darklings demons. more often, they call Fairies  or shadowbeasts demons, and are there more correct. They are just a creature, though.

25. Same as the above, but with angels (sylvanas_iii)

Angels are supposed to exist, and they are just. Humans that developed wings. Sometimes they call the spoiler above angels.

A darkling sorcerer

26. How mad do people get when you pick their pockets? Are we talking "fight to the death" or "nooooo stooooop" or somewhere in between? (vayra)

Darklings fight to the death, Folk are "nooooo stooooop". Grimalkin will take it as a challenge to steal back from you. Skeletons nobody knows, but speculation is that they'll just wait until you die and hope they can pick it up later, unless its very urgent.

27. How long is a round? How is momentum tracked? [Can I make a peasant railgun] (fifth, abridged)

Six seconds, probably. If you could get enough momentum, it'd probably count as a sword-artist's sunder, or if the person is the one with momentum, the strife-child's motif. No, an object can only be passed twice per round.

28. Do I have to be from around here? can I be from space? (random_interrupt)

As previously said, humans are from vaguely the modern world. Maybe you were an astronaut? Ditching the spacesuit would be wise, I think.

29. Roll under or roll over? What are the ability scores and what's an average score? (sylvanas_iii)

Roll over. Standard six. 3d6 or 4d4. or 4d6 and you don't start with a class.

30. What happens if I steal another player's character sheet? can I mind control them, or do I become them? (fifth)

 You get to control them, yes, for the purposes of being ridiculous or not having to wait for their player.

31. How easy is it to learn to cast FIREBALL? (sylvanas_iii)

Sorcerers start with sorcerous blast, which can be fire. They might also be able to distill the spell Set Alight. Relic-seekers could find both, depending on what their relic theme is.

32. What happens at 0 hp? is it different for NPCs? What about below zero? (Vayra)

At 0 hp you get knocked out. Same for npcs, but not the same for shadowbeasts. When you generate your HP, you also generate your -HP the same way. -HP is kept divided by the dice you rolled (i.e. if you roll 3 and 5, it is divided like 3+5, or 5+3). When a negative hit die is depleted, you suffer a wound. If all are depleted, you die. Some NPCs have 1 HP and only -HP.

33. How much xp do I get for buying pizza? (fifth)

am I the one to determine that?

34. Does destiny exist? Can it be changed? Can I stand outside it and watch you all like a spectator at a puppet show? (random_interrupt)

People generally agree that it does. People generally agree it can't. If you manage to watch it, you're probably still a puppet.

35. what direction do numbers go in? (fifth)  

West

36. Have you playtested any of this? (Vayra)

Do I look like someone who's finished a draft to be tested?

37. How many types of magic user are there? do they stack? (sylvanas_iii)

A quote: "Magic is just the academic application of metaphysical power which fighters also wield more bluntly to, for example, be able to take 20 times as much damage as a normal healthy adult". That is to say, they're all magic users. Yes they stack. 

38. Are there sumptuary laws? like, will I get flogged for wearing magenta? (random_interrupt)

Some Folk do that. Most don't.

39. What are the important dates to know? Big festivals, metaphysical anniversaries, eclipses, comets, etc? (vayra)

Without the sun, moon, or stars, or really any repeating temporal variation, there is no such thing. Sometimes two or three folk will decide its party time, and then that's what happens. 

40. Can I play as many goblins? a Mimic? a literal dragon? (sylvanas_iii)

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe

41. What exactly is a hitpoint anyway? Toughness, luck, skill, or chi? (random_interrupt)

Its chi. Attacking someone with any hitpoints just bounces off their AT field or whatever. Which is why some things only have -HP and some attacks bypass HP

42. What kind of goblins are there in this world? if there aren't any, what's the closest thing? (sylvanas_iii)

Folk are vaguely goblins, but also vaguely kobolds and vaguely bullywugs etc.

43. If I play a priest, do I have any actual political power, or will I get treated like any other dusty knave?  (random_interrupt)

Depends on so many factors the question cannot be answered tidily. 

44. Can I use this class I found on the internet with the same name and concept as one you've provided? (phlox)

No, probably not. I've tried to make things rather flavorful and self-contained. You can suggest revisions to the classes though, I'm very open to those

45. What's the optimal substance to consume before playing this GLoGhack? (and why is it orbs?) (everythings)

Sourpatch kids or other fruity, sour candy.

46. How many classes are on offer? How many of them are magic things? (sylvanas_iii)

Sword-Artist

Strife's Child

Clever Thing

Fool

Relic Seeker

Sorcerer

As I said, they are all magic.

47. Can I play (insert literally any character here)? (sylvanas_iii)

Maybe. Try to change the name though.

48. How much do I have to read? (phlox)

You never have to do anything

49. Will we actually be using the inventory rules, or can I just pretend? (phlox)

Its all pretend

50. Why? (purplecthulu)

Desperate Escapism

51. Whom? (fifth)

Thee

some froggish Folk exploring

51 questions for your GLoGhack (and mine)

From Phlox's GLoG discord

1. How do I make enough money to have regular meals? (Deus)

2. What do people do to get Fucked up around here?  (Vayra)

3. How much racism are we talking? Fantasy racism or regular? (Vayra)

4. Who's the nearest religious figure I can annoy? (Vayra)

5. Why do most sensible people avoid [Magic Users]? (Gorinich)

6. What's the local sports team? What do they play? are they any good? (Vayra)

7. What's my sword made of? I started with three rations, what are they? Are they any good? (Vayra)

8. What actually is a GLoG? (Everythings)

9. Where can I find some orbs? (Gorinich)

10. What do orbs do? (Gorinich)

11. Why's the Milk gone? (Everythings)

12. Can I have a pet? Can I have a weird pet? Can it talk? (Vayra)

13. Am I allowed to be famous from the start or do I have to figure it out in play? (Vayra)

14. Am I allowed to be cursed from the start or do I have to figure it out in play? (Vayra)

15. What possible explanations would you accept for me being a time traveler, or from a different dimension? (vayra)

16. Is evil real? What is it? (random_interrupt)

17. Frogs? (Everythings)

18. What's the best combat aircraft available? How much does it cost? How much does a flight of four of them cost? (vayra)

19. That's too expensive. How can I steal one/four? (vayra)

20. Are italians real? why not? Can I say my rations are ragu, in case I run into some? (vayra 🙄)

21. Is there some kind of wizard boss, or kung fu boss, how good is his kung fu/wozerdry? (random_interrupt)

22. What's the die I'm going to be rolling for checks? Is my character aware of its existence? What's the save vs. existential horror? (fifth)

23. How many children am I allowed to start with? How about chickens? (vayra)

24. What's the deal with demons in this setting? Pure evil, just a type of creature, incarnations of desire or sin, depends on the subtype? (sylvanas_iii)

25. Same as the above, but with angels (sylvanas_iii)

26. How mad do people get when you pick their pockets? Are we talking "fight to the death" or "nooooo stooooop" or somewhere in between? (vayra)

27. How long is a round? How is momentum tracked? [Can I make a peasant railgun] (fifth, abridged)

28. Do I have to be from around here? can I be from space? (random_interrupt)

29. Roll under or roll over? What are the ability scores and what's an average score? (sylvanas_iii)

30. What happens if I steal another player's character sheet? can I mind control them, or do I become them? (fifth)

31. How easy is it to learn to cast FIREBALL? (sylvanas_iii)

32. What happens at 0 hp? is it different for NPCs? What about below zero? (Vayra)

33. How much xp do I get for buying pizza? (fifth)

34. Does destiny exist? Can it be changed? Can I stand outside it and watch you all like a spectator at a puppet show? (random_interrupt)

35. what direction do numbers go in? (fifth) 

36. Have you playtested any of this? (Vayra)

37. How many types of magic user are there? do they stack? (sylvanas_iii)

38. Are there sumptuary laws? like, will I get flogged for wearing magenta? (random_interrupt)

39. What are the important dates to know? Big festivals, metaphysical anniversaries, eclipses, comets, etc? (vayra)

40. Can I play as many goblins? a Mimic? a literal dragon? (sylvanas_iii)

41. What exactly is a hitpoint anyway? Toughness, luck, skill, or chi? (random_interrupt)

42. What kind of goblins are there in this world? if there aren't any, what's the closest thing? (sylvanas_iii)

43. If I play a priest, do I have any actual political power, or will I get treated like any other dusty knave?  (random_interrupt)

44. Can I use this class I found on the internet with the same name and concept as one you've provided? (phlox)

45. What's the optimal substance to consume before playing this GLoGhack? (and why is it orbs?) (everythings)

46. How many classes are on offer? How many of them are magic things? (sylvanas_iii)

47. Can I play (insert literally any character here)? (sylvanas_iii)

48. How much do I have to read? (phlox)

49. Will we actually be using the inventory rules, or can I just pretend? (phlox)

50. Why? (purplecthulu)

51. Whom? (fifth)

Now you can answer all fifty-one, or randomly choose however many you want! Hope you enjoyed this brief foray into stealing Transcription.

Town and Settlement Rules

 

Krzysztof Maziarz

When you are inside a town, things take either wilderness/hex turns (three in a day), town turns (take the whole day), or downtime turns (take a week). Each town has 2 stats: Earthly and Otherworldly. Earthly represents the population, resources, and temporal influence. Otherworldly represents the prevalence and power of the mystical. Each ranges from 1 to 5. A 1 in Earthly indicates a hamlet, 2-3 a town, 4 a city, and 5 a metropolis. Similarly, a 1 in Otherworldly indicates minimal magical presence, 2-3 would be average, 4 probably contains some notable society of magicians or priests, and 5 would be something like Endon in Magical Industrial Revolution. 

Hex Turn Actions

Find Shop

To find a shop, first determine what category of item or service you are looking for. Then, roll under the relevant town stat on a d6. If it succeeds, you find the item or service. If you fail, you don't. Repeat this. If you succeed, it is a specialist shop. If you fail, it is a shelf or hidden inventory in a more general shop, containing perhaps 3 items. If the category is simple necessities (typically food or farming equipment), you find one, but can still roll to see if it is high quality fancy stuff.

If the settlement is of considerable size, one can take a second hex turn to try again. If it is small, the DM may say that there is no more stores in town to check. If it has a Bazaar or Market, roll twice and take the better.

Find Quest

To find a quest, roll both stats. If one or both is over, there is a problem in the associated aspect which could do with solving. When it is solved, somebody of that aspect owes you a favor.

Religious Attendance

By spending a tenth of your recent earnings, you buy some sacrifices/donate to the church/purify yourself with incense. You become Ritually Pure, and gain the favor of local religious-types. As well, roll under Otherworldly and you get a minor blessing (post forthcoming).

Have a Good Meal

By spending twice the cost of a ration, gain 1d6 HP (or temporary HP) and have a nice meal. You only benefit from this once per downtime period, but if there is a different pleasant, restful thing in town, like a hot-springs, patisserie, or lodge, you can gain an identical benefit from that.

Local delicacies:

Town Turn Actions

Get an object repaired

Choose an object you want repaired, re-enchanted, or elsewise fixed. Roll under the corresponding town stat, and you find tools, materials, and possibly expertise to do so. Otherwise, it is only half repaired, and may break again or not work perfectly.

Do Chores

You do enough odd jobs and errands to afford 3 rations, or else obtain three rations worth of favors.

Relax

You decompress after some traumatic adventuring, and clean all the blood and muck off yourself. The combination of your civil attitude and appearance gives you a +2 to reaction rolls with people.

A Night on the Town

You go out drinking responsibly, having a good time at some pub or nightclub. Spend at least 3 rations, but no more than 10 rations. This counts for 1.5 times the XP.

Rumor Gathering

The Old Ladies, Bartenders, and Midwives share you the gossip. Roll under Earthly and you get some blackmail material, roll under Otherworldly and you hear some true sounding spooky happenings. In addition, roll on whatever rumor table you have at this time.

Downtime Actions 

Train

Working by yourself or with a teacher, you learn part of one skill. By spending three (possibly non-consecutive) downtime actions training that skill, you can become proficient. You gain a small benefit or feature, as well. For instance, the ability to make a second unarmed attack, the ability to pick a specific kind of lock, or the ability to try an impress someone with snippets of a language.

If one of your stats is below average, you could raise that stat by 1, up to slightly above average.

Research

You put out feelers and gather information, whether ancient lore or castle blueprints. If you roll under the relevant town stat, you find at least one piece of information regarding your subject of study. For instance, you might find a stanza of a poem, a useful diagram, or a map with a few rooms filled in. It is definitely true. Otherwise, treat this as several rolls on the rumor table.

Magical Experiments

Select one spell of yours, or one rune or scroll you've found. Describe as well the way you will be experimenting. Depending on the way you experiment, an intelligence (or other mental stat) check, a roll under the town stat, or a sacrifice of materials or coin may be required. You learn a version of that spell which is appropriate to your caster level and is changed slightly to reflect your conclusions. If you fail, save vs. magic or take (caster level)d10 damage.

Set up a Base

You use favors, money, and elbow grease to set up a little place where the party can meet, sleep, and do a bit of preparation. Roll over Earthly and its free, because it was abandoned or you made it yourself. Roll twice more: if the first is under Earthly, it has the amenities you are used to (such that you no longer need to roll for tools for Repairing Objects); if the second is under Otherworldly, it has magical resources enough to do Magical Experiments.

朱玮玮/Zhu Weiwei

[These are abstractions for when you don't want to play out the whole thing, or for when you are unsure of something. If you can run everything by yourself with full detail, and you want to, then you should!]

Domain-Play options for low-level Characters

 

Pictured: The party's base

Cheaper Strongholds

I never got why stronghold building was so expensive. OSE says that a small tower (presumably two floors) costs 15,000 GP to build. That's 1,500 pounds of pure gold. I am no historian, but I find it hard to believe there was that much gold in all of England at the time. That's enough to feed and house 10 labourers for Three and a Half years. I cannot believe it takes so long to build what amounts to a fortified stone hut (even if it was built by the DoT). Even supposing half of it went to material costs (which, there are almost none if you are building a wood keep, which was common) and permission from the lord, that's still 10 labourers for more than a year and a half for something which (according to OSE) takes 30 days to build. Unless making cobble walls (which are all over peasant farms) is much harder than I think, such that those labourers are being paid 50 gp per day (that is, five pounds of gold), this is utterly unreasonable.

 

Firstly, Silver Standard. Secondly, laborers are payed 10 sp per day. It takes 10 labourers a week to build fourty square feet of stone wall on the ground, two weeks if that wall is more than 20 feet above the ground. Half this time and double the height at which it is considered above the ground if you are building in wood. Double the time, the height, and cost if you are building with cut stone. If there is not material available on the worksite (i.e. your wooden tower isn't in a forest, your stone tower isn't on a shale cliff, your cut stone tower isn't in a quarry), you must pay an additional five labourers (per ten labourers) to collect and transport it. Less than this and construction slows. 

 

Players should draw the floorplan of their stronghold. This may then be used (by adding up the surface area of the walls) to calculate costs and time. DM's should put a limit on how many labourers they can hire, based on how many are available and how many would cause overcrowding (i.e. no peasant railgun). Normally 7 can be found in a 1 mile hex on the frontier, and 15 in civilized lands, 30 in populous places. There is a 1 in 20 chance per week of an accident, which may kill 1d4-1 workers and destroy (1d3-1)*40 square feet of wall, but at the least delays the construction another week.

 

Pictured: a 600 sp, 6 week investment.

The Ruins Homestead Act

 

The king and his nobles have become tired of the mismanagement of the land, tired of bandits and goblins hiding out in keeps and waylaying travelers, tired of paying amoral mercenaries large sums and finders-keepers rights just to have the damn ruins fill up again next year. Thus they have approved the Ruins Homestead Act. 

 

If a group of freemen clear out a dungeon with an above ground section, and present half the treasure to the Lord whose land the dungeon is on, give him or his representative a tour of the dungeon to ensure its safety, and swear fealty to him, that group shall be given the land the dungeon occupies and one hide of land around it per fully enclosed room above ground, up to a total of 10 hides, as well as any serfs who live on that land. If this gives one more than 3 hides, one of the company becomes a Gentleman and is a noble. More than 6 hides, one becomes a Knight. Both are expected to render military and other services.

Pictured: guaranteed knighthood

I published for the One Page RPG Jam!

It's a Dunsanian classless system written in-universe. Check it out!

Class: Jongleur

GLoG style

1. Really Good Juggling, "Leap, Whistle, and Fart"
2. Magic for Some Reason
3. Wondrous Catch, Mimic
4. Contortion, Buffoun

6 Level

1. Really Good Juggling, "Leap, Whistle, and Fart"
2. Magic for Some Reason
3. Mimic
4. Wondrous Catch
5. Contortion
6. Buffoun

Starting Equipment: 4 balls, 4 knives, 2 juggler's torches, silly outfit, cynical outlook on life

Tumblr

Class Feature: Really Good Juggling

Given 1 round of preparations, you may juggle [Level+4] handheld items. As long as the ceiling is high enough, you may throw them high enough that they only touch your hands once every two rounds. You may also juggle [Level-1] items with limbs which aren't your hands. When juggling different objects, note down the order in which you juggle them. You may throw up to half (rounded down) of the items juggled with one action, though items thrown in the same round must follow the looping order of your juggling. These items function as improvised (or unimprovised) thrown weapons.

If the number of items juggled is greater than quadruple the HD/Level of an enemy present, that enemy must make a morale check, either regarding you as harmless or fleeing in terror on a failure. This only affects a given enemy once.

Class Feature: Leap, Whistle, and Fart

By making a fool of yourself, you may evoke a jovial response from otherwise hostile enemies. This requires one round of breathing, mental, and abdominal exercises, after which you may perform [Level] rounds of stupid slapstick. Enemies of anything other than the iciest temperaments will pause to chuckle, and more sanguine enemies will break down laughing for a few rounds. Allies must save to remain unaffected.

Kate Beaton, of course

Class Feature: Magic, for Some Reason

When you gain this feature, and every time you level up thereafter, roll a d6. On a six, gain one magic token* and one random spell from the following list:

1. Speak with the Dead
2. Find Familiar
3. ESP
4. Illusion
5. Hex
6. Color Spray

These spells are not obviously identifiable as spells when you cast them (appearing to be slight of hand or other tricks). They are still magical in nature. 

Regardless of whether you actually gain a spell, you detect as a magic-user and are considered on par with a witch or necromancer by any priests or other religious officials (this doesn't affect how laypeople view you. Probably they will react with utter confusion if they witness and recognize you doing magic).

Class Feature: Mimic

You may impersonate the voice and mannerisms of a being you have seen or heard. This is a non-magical effect and thus cannot effect the physical appearance. However, if physical appearance is ignored or disguised, you are at once indistinguishable from the being you are impersonating and a hilarious caricature of that same being. Overly serious close relations might be able to tell, but most people would simply think their acquaintance is more funny and/or self-aware than usual.

If performed in front of the individual in question, the individual either finds it hilarious or enraging (50/50).

Kate Beaton

Class Feature: Wondrous Catch

You may catch thrown objects, as long as the attack roll was less than [level*2]. These objects may automatically be added to your juggling if you are juggling when it was thrown. You may also catch magical attacks if the spell attack was less than [level]. The magical attack vanishes if you stop juggling it.

Class Feature: Contortion

You may perform superhuman feats of flexibility. You may fit through any hole larger than your head. As well you may cartwheel and somersault to halve fall damage (space permitting). You can walk on your hands as easily as you walk on your feet.

Class Feature: Bouffon

Your lungs store a surprising amount of air (and other things too). You may use your breath to create a powerful air current. As well, you may breath fire as long as you have fuel and a source to light it. This fire breath acts as a young red dragon's breath.

Mechanical Notes

Powerful early game, eh late game. The Bard without the Bard, the Rogue without the Rogue. The jongleur has the ability to "end" a reasonable amount of early encounters (maybe not as good as a well placed Sleep, but with the ability to take out a lot of those who weren't affected), and then a lot of situational abilities, and one ability which is almost only a downside. The enterprising Glogger could probably crib this for their custom modular rogue class. Probably the level effects need to be rescaled for six level progression. Still, enemy of the church at level 2 is a pretty bad downside in most GLoG settings.

I don't think it would be hard to make a Kagura dancer, Dionysia actor, or other holy entertainer by just swapping out the arcane spells for divine.

* Magic Token is approximately 1d2 spells slots or 1 magic dice. I'm going to use this from now on, because I do not like to write "spell slots/magic dice/etc."; maybe I should just call it a Thaum and be done.

Ritual Purity Rules

I gotta write this before Arnold does

Based on some recent posts by Arnold K and some older posts on Whose Measure God Could Not Take, as well as the content of Purity and Danger by Mary Douglas.

Ritual Purity is a concept present in most world religions. It is often conflated with, though far less often actually identical to, Morality in the context of world religion. It is, of course, concerned with the distinction between pure and impure, clean and unclean. Generally this is important because being unclean is a dangerous state, or a state unfit to preform necessary or socially acceptable activities. An unclean person is not an evil person or a damned person*. It's the difference between, say, an altar-cloth with a pentagram pattern and a altar-cloth which had someone accidentally bleed on it. One is detestable, the other is simply currently unfit.

Uncleanness is most often spread via physical contact. For instance, in Judaism, it is unclean to touch the dead, or to touch someone who is diseased. Sometimes you become unclean simply from yourself, such as in the case of menstruation or nocturnal emissions. Sometimes you become unclean from necessary activities, such as giving birth or butchering an animal. Sometimes a group of people is naturally unclean, and becomes ostracized.

And of course, there are ways to become clean. Bathing. Sacrifice. Time. Unless, of course, you are inherently unclean.

Ritual Purity almost always has some effect relating to religion, as the name implies. Most often, priests must be clean to go about their duties. Offerings must be clean (or sometimes very unclean), lest you call wrath upon yourself. Magicians, depending on the culture, either had to be very clean or very unclean in order to work their magic. According to Mary Douglas, some amount of purity was always required of the Indian upper caste and those who interacted with them.

Now, some rules.

Purity Scale

[unclean/clean things in square brackets may be substituted in the list on player choice]

• Immaculate: You are almost too pure. The spiritual forces of the world ingratiate themselves to you, and the presence of gods is comfortable to you. Sometimes kings make sacrifices to you. It's really quite inconvenient. Gain 1 [magic], which you can use to cast *any* spell. Alternatively, with a short and well known ritual, you can gain the service of a lesser spirit permanently (this causes you to become unclean). When you become unclean, you take 1d6 damage. If you die before becoming unclean, you trigger a divine cataclysm which consumes the surrounding area (which definitely will kill your allies and level/blight/erase nearby towns). Alternatively, you become an amazing human sacrifice. If anyone can sacrifice you to the gods without causing you to become unclean, they gain two levels and a minor wish (this is vaguely known to everyone who passes a contested wisdom check). Things which are unclean: touching another human, touching dirt, eating, wearing dyed clothes [crying or laughing, walking, having another look on you, talking].
• Pure: You are pure enough to interact safely with divine things. The requisite level of knowledge and wealth needed to maintain this state probably qualifies you to be a priest in a pinch. Sometimes it qualifies you to be the center of a cult. If you can already cast spells, you can cast as though you were one level higher a number of times per day equal to your level, and have +1 on two saves of your choice. Things which are impure to you: Mud, touching Clean people, being wounded, eating meat [speaking above a whisper, speaking less than a shout, wearing mixed fabrics, entering a tomb, drinking alcohol]. Things that make you more pure: blessed springs, miracles, a month of fasting and intense baths, actual fire. 
• Clean: You are pure enough to interact at all with nobility. Most normal people occupy this space, and most of the rest are clean ~30% of the time regardless. No effect. Impure things: Shit, Sex, Blood, Dead Bodies, Being Sick, Eating Impure Things [Stagnant water, having a beard, not having a beard]. Purifying things: a day of heavy washing, confessing sins, being anointed with oil, using a talisman, abstaining from sex and alcohol for a week.
• Unclean: It's mildly rude to talk with clean people. Spells have a X% chance of not working, where X is every hour you have been unclean. Impure things: Necrophilia, touching untouchable people, Coprophagia, demonic food, murder, rape, making unclean sacrifices [tanning animal hides, smithing, vagrancy, leprosy, becoming a scapegoat]
• Untouchable: You are considered disgusting by society, and are heavily discriminated against. You may not be allowed to enter stores or inns, and you certainly can never be seen by a priest. Nothing is more impure than you, and you cannot become clean except by incredible extraneous circumstances. You receive 1 [magic] which may be used to cast impure spells which regenerates at midnight. You can expend this during downtime to make a wealthy-level wage in some impure craft. If you choose to be a member of the untouchable caste at character creation, you get two [magic] instead.
  

The Fates of Men

What path has been set for your souls? Roll below:

1. Destined to die. Roll on the deaths table
2. Destined to do. Roll on the quest table
3. Undestined. Fateless. Any high, any low, anything may befall you. Tread carefully.

Death shall come for you:

1. By the Sword
2. From the Sky
3. In the Cold
4. On the Water
5. By your Child
6. On a Flame

Disadvantage on death saving throws made when under the rolled circumstances. Cannot die otherwise. The disadvantage only counts if you are actively avoiding your rolled circumstances. A pirate with a waterborne death won't incur any disadvantage. If you have done something drastic to avoid this death (e.g. tried kill your kid), when the circumstances arrive, it's instant death.

Let it be known that this child shall:

1. build a great kingdom/marry a beautiful prince(ss)/gain fame and glory in the land of ____
2. find secrets lost to time/learn an undeniable truth/have great wisdom and understanding
3. wage war and win/fight the enemy of his time/bring honor to his family 
4. bring peace that shall last until the end of time
5. achieve greatness if they sacrifice/honor/do ____. roll a d4 on this table to see what greatness they will achieve.
6. Fail when most needed. Roll a d4 on this table to see what they shall fail to do.

This character cannot die before their fate is completed. They automatically succeed at rolls that advance their fate, though this is at the DM's discretion. If their fate is ignored for a year, a great personal tragedy befalls them. If no tragedy can befall them, they take disadvantage on all rolls that clearly don't advance their fate, And they die as soon as possible after their fate is completed. Also, if 6 is rolled, treat it as if they had rolled 1-4 except at the end they fail. This means you have to Try to fulfill a destiny you know you will fail on. Sucks for you, but if you do well you might live.

Application

Players get to choose if they have a destiny, or it can be rolled randomly with a d4 (treat results of 4 as a 3). Beyond the choice of if they have a destiny, they have no control over what their destiny is. Think of it as a choice of going to the oracle or not. The DM may roll for their destiny, or may choose it at their discretion. Also, the DM may make it as specific or vague as they want. 

I would recommend 0-2 fated characters if you have 3 or more people in you party. At three people, 1-2. At 2 people, both of them probably should be fated. A 1 person party should definitely be fated. The reason for this is that beyond three fates, it gets hard to juggle all the quests, and with a smaller number of people, fates keep those people important and makes for a better story (can I say that and still be OSR? Am I a Heretic? Yes). If you play with one or two people, and one of them gets killed, then you basically/literally have a whole new party. Fating those characters keeps the story moving and gives more reason that they keep adventuring if one of the two of them dies.  Though, in those cases, you should probably allow the players to roll or decide their fates.

Also, if you want to use this with that death fight system I made a while back (which, fyi, I just read for the first time in a year and it's actually really good? Like, the writing sounds like English is my second language, but over all it might be one of my best works. I don't know, analyzing yourself is a bit hard), Death is aware of the fates of the characters and will react accordingly (e.g. he won't actually attack if the fate has yet to be accomplished, he reminds the characters to get on with their quests, etc.). Death is twice as strong when the death fate is upon you (with the exception stated above). If you trigger an insta-kill, death is twice as strong, uses can rend body and soul as a multi-attack, and probably has a sick fucking sword.

Also, if you use something that changes the soul (besides replacing a soul lost to death), truename, or use some fate destruction thing like fate-fire (have I written about this yet? it's in my drafts), your fate is changed or destroyed accordingly.

Note

Somehow I have different rule systems for Fates, Horoscopes, and Prophecies? Ask me about those if you want. I'm super open to requests.

All magicians are logicians

Hyper Incomplete High Concept

All the players are wizards. The setting is modern day. Each wizard has one axiom, of the form All Subject is Predicate or No Subject is Predicate. Subject and Predicate can be anything the player wants. Players can do anything a normal human can. Players can also Conclude and Justify their axioms. Concluding an axiom allows you to enforce the consequences of that axiom. Justifying an axiom allows you to enforce the cause of that axiom. An example: John has the axiom All Cats are Hairless Felines. John, if he encounters a cat (which is, of course, hairless), can Conclude from his axiom that cats would die in the winter of a  temperate location, and thus cannot exist here, at his home on the east coast, during January (the high formal logic version is All cats are Hairless Felines. No Hairless Felines are Winter Winter Adapted Felines. Therefore,  No Cats are Winter Adapted Felines). Alternatively, by expending far more power, John can Justify his axiom, backtracking along a foreign line of logic. Perhaps Cats are Hairless because a Cat (and, by association, all felines) is a kind of octopus (formally: All Octopeople are Hairless. All Cats are Octopeople. Therefore, all Cats are Hairless). How much power is expended whenever you use either ability depends on how many formal logic steps it takes to get to the final result.

Memes? In MY blogposts? Its more likely than you think.

Variations

• Mother Necessity: Wizards only have one part of their axiom (S or P) until they decide to use their axiom, after which it becomes unchangeable. 
• Nobilis Rip-off: No limit on how much axioms can be used.
• Define Subject: Each wizard has the same subject for their axiom. No contradictions.
• Informally: Power expended depends on how long it takes to convince the DM
• Principle Explosion: Wizards can take two axioms. Contradictory axioms are encouraged.
• Modernity: Wizards can use imaginary things as part of their axiom.
• Fuck Plato: All of the above

Death, Fighting it, And a Magic Item

I really like +Arnold K. He is one of my first, and my favorite, bloggers. He recently did a sort-of series on death, both mechanics and lore. I really like the Lore bit, but the mechanics aren't very fleshed out, though they have some good Ideas. So I want to put forth my own rules, heavily based on his. Some thing of his I am citing are: the Seven souls, fighting death, spell-souls, and a little bit of the psychopomp roulette. You should go read all the cited posts. They are. Really good. also pretty necessary for the rest of this post

Death can look like anything he goddamn wants.

DEATH

There is one death, or at least on death in a particular area. The local one lives in Muldagha, a cave near Cerulemen, the holy city, about a weeks pilgrimage away. If you find him off duty, you can talk to him (he's nice, sporting, if a bit morbidly distracted). On duty, he's pretty silent, very focused. If you are his duty, there is only two things you can do: fight or flee.

HD: Special. Defences: Saves as cleric, special. Attacks: Rend Body, Rend Soul, Weapon (+5, 1d12+3)

• A Fighting Chance: Death, paradoxically, loves ambition. He lowers his total hit-dice to the hit-dice total of those who have died before he got there (E.G. if Adam, 2 HD, and Beatrice, 3 HD, died before death arrived, he would roll 5 hit dice to determine hitpoints). He has no it point maximum, and if anyone dies while he is there, he rolls half their HD and gains that many hit-points. 
• Rend Soul: When fighting against a disembodied soul, this will be death's main attack. The target of this attack makes a a death save, spell save, or DM's choice for the system. The DC for this save will be their highest ability score, or their own spell DC, whichever is higher. Clerics, priests, and other holy men get advantage on this save. Warlocks, cultists, and others who deal with dark powers get a disadvantage on this save. If the target has a fighting spirit, or person or cause they would die for, they receive advantage. If the opposite is true, they are nihilistic and anchorless, they recieve disadvantage. If the target fails the save, they lose one of their high souls (see This). The high souls are lost in order, so essentially you'll: first lose spellcasting (+4 magic save), then goals, then personality, then memory. These souls travel to the afterlife individually. More on that later.

  

  Who could say "Not Today" to those puppydog eyes?

• Rend Body: If a soul has avoided death for long, defeated death more than a few times, or is really just a jerk about it, Death will use Rend Body as its main attack. Target makes a Death save, or (DM's choice) save. If the target's physical scores are, in total Higher than 45, they have advantage. If their scores are below 25, they have disadvantage. If they fail, they lose one low soul (see link above), randomly (d3). The effects are this: 

1.  Lose all self-preservation, assuming you make it back to your body
2. Lose cellular function, die in 1d6 hours. Immunity to poison
3. Lose chemical interaction, die in 1d6 minutes. Immunity to transformation.

• The Dying of the Light: Death's HD, Spell DC, and AC (AC Starts at 13) is modified either in a fiboncci way, increasing each time (1st time, +1. 2nd time, +1. 3rd, +2. 4th, +3. 5th, +5), or in an additive way, each time adding the number of times to the bonus (1st, +1. 2, +3. 3rd, +6. 4th, +10. 5th, +15.), DM's choice.



"Please let us out of Stat-block Hell" "No"

• Life Saver: When cast on a creature currently fighting death, certain spells are very effective from the outside. Gentle Repose or a like anti-decay spell creates an extra-spiritual space in which the spirit can hide for the duration. The fight is essentially put on pause for a few days. No other spell can affect the spirit or their fight with death until they leave. The spirit may leave at any time, though doing so resumes their fight with death. Spare the Dying or a like stabilization spell reduces death to 3/4 his current hit points, or he saves and is only reduced to half. Revivify and other partial Resurrection spells banish death, bringing the fallen back to life, returning all Low Souls and 1 High Soul (chosen by the caster, assuming each is willing). True Resurrection does the same, but restores all souls (assuming each is willing).

Mary H. Magdalene, this is a wall of text! TL;DR: He has your collective hit dice; he removes your souls; spells and mind first, then body; he gets harder each time you beat him; and select spells hurt him.

This guy's PREPARED

What Happens After You Beat Him

Congrations! You are alive (assuming you didn't lose 3 or more souls)! Roll under Constitution to get up at 1 HP, otherwise you are unconscious and stable.

And if I did Lose a Few Souls?

I've already stated what happens if you lose your three low souls, Animal, Vegtable, and Mineral. (see Rend Body. Good news, losing those means you can't be a zombie, because you don't have the necessary components). They also affect the physical stats (Dex, Con, Str respectively), so losing these gives disadvantage on checks for those stats. High souls are more fluff, less crunch. The four high souls (Purple, Red, White, and Blue) correspond to the three mental stats + spellcasting (Int, Cha, Wis, Spells respectively) the same way the low souls do, though losing the blue soul simply means you can't cast spells. 

More interestingly, losing high souls affects your character's personality. (if you haven't read the lore post by Arnold, you really should now. everything will make more sense. please. at least read the bottom section) In 5e Terms, losing Purple removes your character's bond, losing Red removes their personality trait, losing White removes their Ideals. Blue is a bit weird. Arnold describes it as the connection to the divine, and to spellcasting. For 5e, the only character trait left is their flaws, which I guess you could do if you wanted? It gives wizards a reason for weird, and makes the next bit more interesting.

This is Bad, I Want them Back!

The closest you'll get is to replace your soul(s) with a spell. Casting the spell Imbue Living Spell (called Imbue Homunculus in the source) replaces up to 4 missing souls with a cantrip or 1st level spell the caster knows, has currently prepared, or has a scroll of. The caster can no longer cast that spell until the soul is removed, unless the spell was in a scroll, which is destroyed. This has different effects based on which souls were replaced

Don't replace TOO many

1. Replacing the blue soul replaces one of their spells with the spell they've been given, and they must always prepare it. (E.G. the warlock knows two cantrips, and has his blue soul replaced with mage hand. Hence, he knows 1 cantrip+mage hand. The wizard knows 6 level 1 spells, and can prepare 4. His blue soul was replaced with detect magic. He then only knows 5 Level 1 spells + detect magic and can only prep 3+detect magic.) If a character has no spellcasting, he can cast the spell 1/day as a spellcasting class of his choice of his level. If the spell has a duration, the caster cannot cast spells for the duration (and also loses the benefits of the other souls the spell has replaced). The spell also replaces the character's flaw. It should be thematic. If you used Mage hand as a soul, it could make you wayyyy too grabby, or maybe a charm person soul makes you insufferably pompous. Or you could just be obsessed with casting that spell.
2. Replacing the white soul changes their goals (ideals if you are playing 5e). They now hold something thematically related to the spell as something they always want and strive for. Maybe they get sleep and always strive to reduce work, or they get prestidigitation and strive to impress people.
3. Replacing the red soul changes their personality, the little things about them. They essentially act a little more like their spell superficially. Sacred flame makes them act holy, magic missile makes them act pointedly.
4. Replacing the Purple soul make it a bit interesting, as this soul is tied to memory. They now have the memories of the spell, of the ether and the place beyond, where books are before they're written. They also have memories of the inside of the magic user's head, though its incomprehensible. (if you are playing 5e, replace the bonds section with some connection to an extraplanar entity, like a ghost) Considering this was the last soul to be lost, there is likely no leftover bits of the PC. You've constructed the Ship of Theseus. Re-roll all the mental stats and choose new spells.
   
5. Replacing the animal soul changes the instincts of the character. These instincts are alien, so it'll seem a bit lolrandom. The character's understanding of what is necessary changes: they might not think food is something they need (they still do), they might think they'll die if they can't look through a telescope. It also changes some of their physical appearance. Hair, eyes, and mucous membranes (mouth, sclera, nostrils) will change color. Certain parts will go out of proportion. At this point, they should be dead, and they show it.
6. Replacing the Vegetable soul changes the physical subtly, but drastically. Their flesh may become a different material, like petals or iron (though this has no effect on AC or HP and is, in many cases, the same color as the original flesh). They may also grow horns or antlers, though this is rare. Their body, though it may appear human or humanoid, is biologically completely different. They may not even have cells. While the animal soul changes what they think they need, the vegetable soul can change what they actually need.
7. Replacing the Mineral soul is insane. The subject's subatomic particles no longer belong in the world. They can look completely human, but they might be made of neutrinos. A lot of the time, the world around them just completely rejects them. When the mineral soul is first replaced, the they must make a save or die instantly, erased from reality. They must remake this save every time they face Death, an Inevitable, or any other manifestation of universal truth and law.