{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"I run my life or is it running me?","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/","description":"I run my life or is it running me? - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Fri, 25 May 2012 00:16:43 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","copyright":"NOINDEX","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/74768811\/494655","title":"I run my life or is it running me?","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/","width":"81","height":"99"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/676858.html","pubDate":"Fri, 25 May 2012 00:16:43 GMT","title":"How to best dump people","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/676858.html","description":"Which would you prefer: (This is about facebook, but I guess it could apply to any social networking site):

a) being removed as a friend with no warning or explanation (by someone you weren't super-close to in the first place)

or

b) having the person who removes you first post a message like: \"I plan to do a major friends purge, don't take it personally, I just really need to downsize to a more manageable (for me) level\"

Personally, I think B sounds rather attention-whorey (might as well say, \"Oh look at me, everyone! I'm so popular I have TOO MANY many friends. Wait and see if you are special enough to make the cut!! Tee hee hee!!\") However<\/b>, I know that a lot of people get majorly butthurt for being deleted with no explanation. I find myself wondering if those people would prefer the B message. I ask because I'm planning a bloodbath from my facebook friendslist soon since I don't know most of these people and have nothing in common with them. I'm desperate<\/i> to find some friends I have stuff in common with; now if only I knew where they were hanging out at!

I'm not sure why I care since I find most of these people to be insipid, immature and emo types who will likely start cutting themselves again no matter what I say or do, yet I found myself wondering what the general rule is when it comes to these things. *snicker*"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/636478.html","pubDate":"Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:00:32 GMT","title":"Writer's Block: Kids or child-free?","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/636478.html","description":"

Most people have kids without any thought at all -- they either just do it because they are brainwashed to believe there is no other option, and\/or they are just too lazy to be bothered with birth control. Not having children is only decision that requires any real thought.

I knew fairly young I didn't want kids, so I came to this decision by the age of 12 or so. When I met my husband he was still brainwashed to believe that when you get married you have kids, but after being exposed to me for a while, he came over to my side of the fence and umpteen years later, here we are, still happy together and happier together than any couples we know with kids."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/635633.html","pubDate":"Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:29:36 GMT","title":"Writer's Block: Marital license","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/635633.html","description":"

No, that's stupid. That doesn't even make sense. What's the point?

But can we PLEASE have parenting licenses? Why should any idiot be allowed to have kids and abuse and neglect them, run off and don't stick around the raise them, let them run wild and then expect everyone else to take responsibility for them? Don't even get me started about expecting society to pay for them. Heaven forbid the parents have to be responsible for anything. *eyeroll*"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/635046.html","pubDate":"Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:16:21 GMT","title":"Pro-lifers now think you should have more abortions!","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/635046.html","description":"Look at what this dumbass<\/a> said:

State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God's punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

He made that statement Thursday at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

"The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children," said Marshall, a Republican.<\/blockquote>

What does it say about Republicans from Virginia that they would elect this guy?!

More importantly, what is he advocating? \"If you have had an abortion, you should continue to have abortions (rather than be punished with disabled kids)?\" Wow, pro-lifers are S-M-R-T."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/629588.html","pubDate":"Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:36:09 GMT","title":"Has LJ always been this way?","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/629588.html","description":"When did LJ become all pro-life<\/a> and shit? Thank the gods I'm not giving them any money. Maybe I over-react (when don't I?), but that's not pro-adoption. Real babies aren't that size. That's a pro-life movement picture and it bugs me. I think I've even seen that on pro-life billboards, or something similar. If they are using pictures from the pro-life movement, I wonder how much of the money donated goes to the pro-life movement and their extremism."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/622993.html","pubDate":"Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:03:20 GMT","title":"God I hate this day","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/622993.html","description":"I'm so sick of 9\/11. I hate how everyone wants to write their \"I remember where I was\" on this day every year, as if somehow they are special for remembering where they were, as if remembering 8 years ago requires some kind of special powers. We ALL remember where we were. Do we have to rehash it? GOD!

And the whole wringing of the hands thing. At what point is it okay to move on? Even if it was your BEST FRIEND who died in the WTC, it was 8 years ago! At some point you have to say, \"I loved that person, but life goes on.\" JFC, people have been dying for millions of years and the world doesn't have stop over it. 9\/11 widows have moved on and remarried and yet regular people who weren't connected still and to wring their hands today. It's so fake!!!

Of course, I can't even go on twitter today because of all the mooing and whining and \"anyone who doesn't think today is a really horrible day and we should spend the day wringing our hands is a psychopath!\" STFU you attention whores.

Never mind me. I have a reason to be cranky today."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/621044.html","pubDate":"Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:39:17 GMT","title":"Writer's Block: The Right to Privacy","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/621044.html","description":"

I would feel sorry for celebs except that they are generally attention whores (why else would they be a celebrity) so I don't feel too sorry for them. Being a celebrity was their choice and if they didn't want so much attention, they could have chosen something else. They get paid ridiculous amounts of money for very little work, most of the time they don't even have talent, they have tons of people dying to go out with them, and they want lots of attention -- oh, except for when they don't want attention, and then they think everyone should ignore them. Give me a break. Everything in life is a trade off -- you want lots of fame and money? Great, but then you're going to have to put up with a loss of privacy. You want more privacy? Then don't become a celeb.

It's like parents and their \"I want everyone to worship me for doing the MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD\" mantra, but then turning around and saying, \"HEY, NO ONE CAN JUDGE ME FOR THE PARENTING JOB I DO.\" You can't have it both ways, bimbos."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/612078.html","pubDate":"Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:01:31 GMT","title":"Silliness","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/612078.html","description":"I have a bunch of free redbox codes you might be able to use, if you care. Let me know. I'm too lazy to dig up my list if no one cares.

B1G1F at Spaghetti Warehouse if at least one person in your party has a penis: http:\/\/tinypic.com\/view.php?pic=jsdoqx&s=5<\/a> (I suppose he'll also have to be at least 15 or so.)

Which reminds me. Someone on Twitter said: News says \"great-grandmother\" was tasered. Why can't they use the term \"senior citizen\"?<\/i>

To which I couldn't help but reply: Because in certain circles, the great-grandmother is only 48. <\/i>"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/608009.html","pubDate":"Mon, 25 May 2009 22:44:22 GMT","title":"Memorial Day <> Veterans Day","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/608009.html","description":"Just so we're all clear, we do all know that today isn't Veteran's<\/i> Day, right?

Seems I keep running into people today (mostly online) who are confused."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/606093.html","pubDate":"Sat, 09 May 2009 20:17:08 GMT","title":"Writer's Block: Home Cooking","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/606093.html","description":"

Yesterday, and it was chili corn bread, although I made it for Virgo and not myself, since I wans't feeling up to eating much of anything.

Before that, I'd made some divine banana bars and before that, peach kuchen. But NO none of that gave me food poisoning, since Virgo ate that stuff, too, and didn't get sick. I still think it was Taco Bell that tried to kill me."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/605926.html","pubDate":"Sat, 09 May 2009 19:54:10 GMT","title":"Retards in Freestuff community","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/605926.html","description":"Stupid people over in the freestuff community: \"Waaa, I didn't get my free KFC dinner! I hate KFC, their food tastes like ass!!<\/i>\" Retards! If the food sucks that bad, why do they care? They should be glad they didn't get any sucky food! Obviously they are just butthurt they didn't get free food, so they are insulting KFC any way they can think of.

I'm not a huge fan of KFC, but if I hated their food, I wouldn't whine about not getting the freebie."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/605676.html","pubDate":"Fri, 08 May 2009 21:09:21 GMT","title":"Tweet","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/605676.html","description":"I have so much fun on Twitter. You should be on Twitter too if you aren't already. But not right now since they are doing maintenance. Maybe later this evening.

I found a great group of childfree gals to tweet with. It's my latest time waster."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/604045.html","pubDate":"Sun, 26 Apr 2009 04:53:05 GMT","title":"FREE SHIT","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/604045.html","description":"Okay, not shit. Free FOOD! Stolen from Free Stuff community, so if you read there, skip this.

--Sunday, April 26, is National Pretzel Day. This means free pretzels at Pretzel Time or Pretzel Maker. You'll find these in your mall or Wal-Mart and you might not have even noticed them. They are large and yummy! http:\/\/www.pretzelmaker.com\/home.php<\/a>

--Their sister company, Auntie Anne's is celebrating National Pretzel Day by charging you full price for pretzels but donating a portion of the proceeds to charity. So if you don't have a Pretzel Time or Pretzel Maker in your area, but you want a pretzel and feel charitable, go to Auntie Anne's. Of course it's a children's chairty, but maybe some people are into that. http:\/\/www.auntieannes.com\/<\/a>

--KFC is launching their grilled chicken menu this week with free samples on Monday, April 27! Go to each KFC locaiton in your area and get one free piece per person that day. I know ours was supposedly doing the free sample last week, but we didn't get there for some reason, so I'm not sure if they are doing it again, but I'll certainly go check it out, just in case. http:\/\/www.unthinkkfc.com\/<\/a>

--El Pollo Loco is pretty much giving away an entire meal on Tuesday, April 28th. If you visit El Pollo Loco you\u2019ll get two free pieces of chicken, plus tortillas and salsa. Check to see if you have one locally. http:\/\/www.elpolloloco.com\/<\/a> (Sadly, I do not)

--Carvel Ice Cream is offering guests a free Iceberg, Carvel\u2019s newest blended treat, on Thursday, April 30, from 3 p.m. until 7 p.m. Visit Carvel\u2019s website-- http:\/\/carvel.findlocation.com\/search.aspx<\/a> -- to find a location near to you. This freebie is part of the chain\u2019s 75th anniversary celebration. In case you don\u2019t know, an Iceberg blends Carvel\u2019s soft-serve vanilla ice cream with Fanta Orange, Barq\u2019s Root Beet or Coke-a-cola and ice. It\u2019s the Carvel interpretation of the ice cream float.

Enjoy!"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/603144.html","pubDate":"Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:29:27 GMT","title":"Crook in your neck, my ass","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/603144.html","description":"We had this conversation this morning:

Him: \"Oh look, it's a crick.\" (as we were driving over a small bridge)

Me: \"It's a CREEK. It's spelled: C-R-E-E-K.\"

Him: \"No, it's a crick.\"

Me: \"A crick is something you have in your neck!\"

Him: \"No, that's a crook.\"

Me: \"A crook is someone who steals from you!!\"

We were both laughing by now.

Him: \"I'm pretty sure it's a crook in your neck.\"

Me: \"OMG! Learn English, Dumbass!\" (laughing - I wouldn't call him dumbass to be mean. Only in jest.)

At the next yard sale, there was a dictionary, so I picked it up and proved to him I was correct. I LOVE to be right.

He's pretty smart so sometimes I wonder if he just pretends to be dumb to let me be happy to be right."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/600812.html","pubDate":"Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:56:47 GMT","title":"We won't get rid of discrimination until we get rid of Christians","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/600812.html","description":"When are we going to outlaw Christianity, since they continue to try and force legal ways to discriminate against everyone else?

DES MOINES, Iowa -- The state has sent notices to Iowa's 99 county recorders that if they don't honor the Iowa Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriages, they could lose their jobs.

Some recorders have voiced personal concerns about granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, and some Republican lawmakers tried to approve a measure that would protect them.

The amendment, offered by Sen. Merlin Bartz, of Grafton, said \"the recorder may, as a matter of conscience, refuse to issue a marriage license.\"<\/b><\/i>

Since Christians believe in \"Do unto others\" I suppose the rest of us need to seriously start discriminating against them."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/598024.html","pubDate":"Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:02:12 GMT","title":"Who doesn't know what pollo means?","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/598024.html","description":"From the Fmylife website:

Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say \"fuck me\" in Spanish. She claimed it was \"pollo frito\". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming \"fried chicken.\" <\/i>

Amusing story, but...

Seriously? There are still people out there who don't know that \"pollo\" is chicken? I hardly know any Spanish, never even tried to learn it, but it's impossible to avoid learning a few common words and phrases! Even before I lived in Texas! Am I the only one who watched Seseame Street as a kid?!

I would like to think this is made up (I think most of them on that site are, but they can still be amusing) but I guess there are people who are too lazy to pay attention."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596992.html","pubDate":"Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:50:14 GMT","title":"Flee Michigan!","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596992.html","description":"This fark headline:

\"People are fleeing Michigan at a rate of a family every 12 minutes. Soon the state will end up with only Detroit, Ted Nugent and a gazillion deer.\"<\/i>

reminds me of someone on my friends' list."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596645.html","pubDate":"Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:00:15 GMT","title":"Fun with feedback","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596645.html","description":"I so rarely get \"hate\" mail anymore that it's a real treat when I do!

So on my website I wrote a couple of somewhat negative things about homeschooling. This is what I wrote, on two different pages:

(I realize the first one starts out as a sentence fragment, but it was a bullet point on stuff that are examples of bad parenting that everyone allows but shouldn't.)
Letting any Tom, Dick, or Harry \"homeschool,\" even if they have almost no education themselves and are practically illiterate. (I'm not totally against homeschool, but I've seen what a joke it can be in the wrong hands. Check out some homeschooling message boards and how the 'teachers\" can barely read and write themselves!!)

Homeskool -- Mocking term used to make fun of \"homeschooling\" by implying those kids don't learn to spell (or much of anything else). Granted, homeschooling might work in some situations and (at least most of us) are not bashing ALL homeschooling, but we've all known total idiots who are barely literate themselves who are (supposedly) homeschooling, or religious nuts who homeschool to keep their kids from learning science or about equal rights for women or minorities. Those are the ones we mock. <\/blockquote>

I'm clearly not 100% against homeschooling because I can see times where it would be a good option. I just think that the majority people who want to homeschool are the types of people who should not. Perhaps I'm wrong on that, but that's beside the point. I did not say \"ZOMG, HOMESCHOOLING IS BAD. NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HOMESCHOOL!\" in either place. I googled my site and didn't find anywhere that I wrote anything close to that.

So this brings us to my hatemail.


Hello, I enjoyed browsing your site, but I think your remarks about homeschooling are a tad unfounded, regardless of what you may have seen.

\"Letting any Tom, Dick, or Harry \"homeschool,\" even if they have almost no education themselves and are practically illiterate. (I'm not totally against homeschool, but I've seen what a joke it can be in the wrong hands. Check out some homeschooling message boards and how the 'teachers\" can barely read and write themselves!!)\"

I am actually a product of 3 kinds of schooling by choice: public, private, and 2 years of home-schooling. The home-schooling experience was the absolute best, and I was taught by a mother who did not have any degrees or certifications, just a high school diploma. Even though I don't have any children (which is why I am interested in your site), I am a very strong advocate of home-schooling. Considering that there are so many unmotivated and lazy people who get certified to teach in the public school system and who choose that career field just for the job security and pension bennies, I don't think that children are any more likely to have their education end up in the \"wrong hands\" when home-schooling. Keep in mind that before primary school was mandatory, ALL children were home-schooled by parents who had no formal training themselves, and grew up to accomplish far more remarkable things than today's mainstream school kids. Another thing you may be unaware of is that, depending on the family's means, many of today's home-schooling curricula include training and lessons taught by other professionals so that the experience isn't too one-dimensional (I had gymnastics, watercolor painting, French lessons from a native speaker, private flute lessons, and book-binding classes).<\/blockquote>

What's unfounded? The fact that we shouldn't let JUST ANYONE homeschool? How can anyone who cares about education argue that point?!! So what if I said that some people fuck up homeschooling? SOME PEOPLE DO. You can't argue that they don't because they DO! Meet my family!

The bottom line is she's arguing with my anti-homeschooling stance, but I don't have<\/b> an anti-homeschooling stance. Yes, I do have a problem with religious nutjobs \"homeschooling\" in attempt to control, shelter and brainwash their children. Yes, I have a problem with people who are fairly uneducated themselves teaching \u2013 such as people who can barely read, write, spell and handle grammar or punctuation. It's the blind leading the blind! But shouldn\u2019t everyone have a problem with that? I'm not being incredibly unreasonable with those points.

And I certainly wasn't championing public school because I'm not a big fan of it. I would rather not have public school at all since I'm horribly disgruntled that a huge number of kids today treat school as nothing more than a hang-out rather than a place of education and go out of their way to NOT learn anything. It's nothing but subsidized day-care and I don't think we should have to pay for it. Why are we wasting time trying to educate kids who don't even WANT to learn?

How could she misinterpret what I was saying? She actually quoted me so she knew what I had written. I was pretty clear that I wasn't against all homeschooling. So what's her beef? I hate people this dumb!! At last argue with me over things I actually said<\/b> instead of freaking out over something I didn't.

And don't even get me started on her yuppie blatherings about \"OH I\u2019m SO cultured because Mumsy spend a fortune on pretentious classes for me to take so I could keep up with the Joneses!\" Those are all extra curricular classes she could have taken after school even if she went to public school. All that crap might be nice but it's totally unnecessary and I'd have much rather she had learned reading comprehension than book binding!!

So this was my reply to her, which I thought was fairly polite, considering how stupid she was.


Here's an idea. Find someone with better reading comprehension skills than you have and ask them to explain to you what this statement means:

\"I'm not totally against homeschool, but I've seen what a joke it can be in the wrong hands.\"<\/b>

It doesn't mean what you think it means.

I'm going to stop now before I get really snotty.

Phoena<\/blockquote>

Sorry, I read Fark too much. That's how they would have replied to her! *snicker*

Okay, so maybe I wasn't nice, but I wasn't really over the top bitchy, either. She WAS being dumb and someone had to point it out to her since Mommy Dearest wouldn't dare tell her while giving her straight As in homeschool.

This apparently really upset her, as she replied with (highlighting is all hers):

Wow! Menopause or PMS? How do you expect people to respect your site if you are going to respond with fire shooting from your nostrils? You need therapy if you cannot even have a level-headed dialogue with someone who is offering constructive feedback on your site. You are obviously an extremely bitter and angry person. Maybe deep inside you are incredibly resentful and sad that you cannot have any children and have to take it out on other people?

All I am trying to say is that your statement conveys your opinion: \"Home-schooling is ok sometimes, but public school is still better\" and I disagree with that.<\/b>

I hope you feel better soon.<\/b><\/font><\/blockquote>

My reply was \"shooting fire from my nostrils\"?! Hysterical! This girl really has never had anyone not agree with her before, has she?! My reply was really quite tame. I think she was just bucking for a fight and would have responded this way, no matter what I said to her.

I love how she accuses me of being \"unable to have a level headed dialogue\" when she ran straight for the insults the minute I wasn't all nice to her. I tell her, \"You obviously don't know what this sentence means\" and she runs straight for, \"ZOMG you're PMS-y! You're Menopausal! You need therapy! You are bitter and angry! Obviously you're just an infertile bitch and resentful! You're mean! You must not feel good!\"

My reply to her reply:

I guess being homeschooled and sheltered your whole life, you would be freaked out the first time someone points out you're not entirely perfect and you are not the smartest kid on the planet. I'm sorry that pointing out your lack of reading comprehension skills upset you this badly, but I'm not your mother, so I'm not going to lie to you. Sooner or later someone would have had to point this out to you, so you'd just be lashing out at them instead of me.

I never wrote \"Homeschooling is okay sometimes, but public school is better.\" I'm certain I didn't write that because I've never been a big fan of public schools.

Come back when you can read above a 5th grade level and perhaps you will then be able to understand what I ACTUALLY wrote instead of jumping to the conclusion that I wrote things like HOMESCHOOLING IS NEVER GOOD and PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE ALWAYS BETTER -- two things I didn't write.

Thanks for yet again reminding me that Yuppie mothers are just as bad at homeschooling as religious freaks.<\/blockquote>

(Okay, so I exaggerated a slight bit \u2013 she never claimed I said that homeschooling is never good (although her first email seemed to suggest she thought that is what I was saying) and she didn't claim I'd said public school is always better, although it did sound almost like she thought I said that.)

So\u2026 do you think she's really a homeschooled kid or do you think she's an angry, homeschooling mommy who lied in the first email thinking she'd win me over if she pretended to be a fellow childfree? Place your bets now before her next rely comes in.

I'm off to google her and see what I come up with."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596431.html","pubDate":"Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:53:26 GMT","title":"Holy Soap Fail","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/596431.html","description":"I want this holy soap:

\"fail<\/a>
see more pwn and owned pictures<\/a>

Freakin' hysterical!"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595814.html","pubDate":"Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:00:45 GMT","title":"Oh, Snap!","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595814.html","description":"How can one not laugh at this funny but irreverant fark headline:

Pilot survives ejection over Ecuadorian jungle, only to die when cable on rescue helicopter breaks. Ironic tag says, \"Oh, snap\"<\/i>

Ah, how amusing."},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595622.html","pubDate":"Tue, 24 Mar 2009 06:15:46 GMT","title":"What is with the post office, anyway?","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595622.html","description":"I mailed out a package Friday afternoon. The USPS tried to talk me into sending it priority and I said no. It still cost $7 to send it non-priority. Those crooks. But anyway, they warned me that if I didn't send it priority it would take 5-7 days. I shrugged and said that was okay. There was no hurry.

My friend said the package arrived today. So... priority really means nothing other than paying more, is that it? Have I cracked their secret code?

Anyway, I'm thrilled the package got there so fast!"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595173.html","pubDate":"Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:14:06 GMT","title":"Smart Cats","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/595173.html","description":"Amusing facts about cats' intelligence:

Physiologically, a cat's brain bears a striking resemblance to that of man-more so than any other animal's. How do we measure intelligence in an animal? One cannot and should not play one species off against another. Cats, for example, are bored with mazes. But watch them get out of any enclosed space! They can open doors, lift latches, leap many times their own length over walls. Psychologists have noted that their ability to escape confinement is superior to that of any other animal. Besides superb skill and strategy in stalking prey, cats have a built in clock. They know when it's time for you to come home, and when it is time for bed.

Of course there are some stupid cats, just as there are some remarkable cats. Like humans, not ALL are bright. Most often people think cats are stupid because they refuse to perform on command. But that's only because cats are smart enough to know it's beneath their dignity!"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/594603.html","pubDate":"Fri, 20 Mar 2009 04:50:26 GMT","title":"Amusing Article","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/594603.html","description":"This article posted on Fark totally cracked me up. It's not THAT funny, but it was written a little funny and just the idea that cheapskate parents were sampeding the zoo because it was half-price day is cracking me up. Admittedly, I'm pretty cheap myself, but this is pretty riduclous:

***
Crowds Swarm Fort Worth Zoo; Cause Traffic Tie-Up<\/b>

Wednesday afternoon Fort Worth police asked motorists to avoid Interstate 30, at University Drive, as families stampeded to the Fort Worth Zoo.

Thousands of packed cars struggled to get into the zoo parking lots - that were full by mid-morning. Crowds were attributed to children on spring break and some families waiting for the Wednesday half-off ticket offer to make the trip.

\"We had no idea it would be like this,\" explained zoo visitor Konnie Evans. \"We didn't want to disappoint the kids, so we thought we'd wait over in the park area for the two hours you know and then try to get in and that's what we're trying to do now.\"

Fort Worth police confirm \"numerous\" minor car accidents. Traffic backed up from the zoo entrance, down University and onto I-30, with cars at a standstill for miles.

Hundreds of cars even parked in what is normally a vacant soccer field. The field is a quarter of a mile from the zoo parking lots.

Thousands swarmed the zoo entrance. There were so many people in the area that cell phone towers were overloaded, making communication tough for the zoo workers inside.

As customers were allowed in, and the zoo reached occupancy capacity, eager visitors were told they'd have to wait outside.

To help those who had to wait to enter, the zoo extended park hours to ensure that visitors have enough time to get through the exhibits.

Zoo officials say they've seen similar crowds, but nothing this large, this year.

Late Wednesday afternoon, the Fort Worth Zoo reported that an all-time single day attendance record was set. Zoo officials said at least 23,000 guests visited the park. The previous single day attendance record of 17,274 was set on Good Friday in March of 2008.
***

And someone in the fark comments said this, which I thought was quite amusing:

A while ago one of the major satellite navigation systems got hacked and the whole list of possible \"alert codes\" was published. Most of them were obvious, like \"010 CONSTRUCTION TRAFFIC AHEAD\" or \"023 ACCIDENT IN LEFT LANE,\" but I distinctly remember that one of them was \"963 BULLFIGHT IN VICINITY.\"

I sleep safer at night knowing that the people behind my TomTom (or whatever) are ever vigilant to the threat of an impromptu bullfight breaking out, and its implications for my morning commute.<\/i>"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/594246.html","pubDate":"Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:42:56 GMT","title":"Use protection with Facebook!!!","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/594246.html","description":"Amusing Twitter exchange:

Random person: I found out my sister is pregnant via facebook. Let it be a lesson to us all.

Someone's reply: Facebook got your sister pregnant? Damn.

*snicker*"},{"guid":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/593426.html","pubDate":"Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:19:09 GMT","title":"Writer's Block: The Kids' Section","author":"phoena","link":"https:\/\/phoena.livejournal.com\/593426.html","description":"

I loved \"Pete's Dragon\"! I thought it was the best. I still think it's cute but I wouldn't call it my favorite anymore.

Then in my teens I loved \"April Fool's Day\" and I still love that movie. But don't watch the remake it's terrible and it's not even really a remake."}]}}