What if kids had the right to ignore our feedback? Not because they’re stubborn or disengaged, but because they understand it—and decide to make a different choice.
Too often, feedback feels like a demand: Fix this. Change that. Do it this way. But writers? They get feedback, weigh it, and sometimes say, “No, I’m keeping this.” That’s not disengagement—it’s ownership.
Let’s Build Feedback Negotiation into the Process
Instead of expecting students to accept every suggestion, teach them to think critically about feedback—to question, challenge, and ultimately make their own choices.
1️⃣ Shift the Conversation – Before giving feedback, set the tone:
🗣️ “You don’t have to take every suggestion. Your job is to think about it.”
Ask them: What do you want my feedback on? Where are you stuck? Make it a dialogue, not a directive. I’ve written about this before in the context of only looking at one thing in writing conferences.
2️⃣ Teach Kids to Push Back (The Great Way) –
When students disagree with feedback, they need language to explain why. Try modeling this:
- “I see what you’re saying, but I’m keeping this word because it’s my character’s voice.”
- “I understand your point, but I want this to feel unfinished on purpose.”
- “I’ll change this part, but I’m going to keep this sentence because it’s important to me.”
If we want students to engage with feedback, we have to let them practice rejecting it thoughtfully—just like writers do.
3️⃣ Make Choice Part of the Process – Instead of requiring students to change everything, try this:
🔹 Pick one piece of feedback to apply and one to challenge. Explain why.
This simple step forces them to consider feedback instead of just following orders.
4️⃣ Celebrate Thoughtful Resistance –
When students defend their choices, it means they care. That’s the goal. Instead of marking something as “wrong,” ask:
- Why did you make this choice?
- What effect are you going for?
- How can you make this even stronger while keeping your vision?
Good feedback isn’t about control. It’s about conversation. And if we want kids to become confident writers, we have to teach them that their voices matter—even if that means telling us no.
Pernille Ripp 
This sounds like a really great way to teach and allow for creativity. Love it.
I love the idea of giving students choice in the process (Item 3️⃣), and that this also helps students strengthen their ability to say no (especially to adults). Even when we claim to be offering voice and choice, we often take away kids’ ability to choose “none of the above”. (I think this has societal implications in the long run, too…)