Authentic Confidence for Women in Tech

You want to feel like you belong here, like you earned it.

But no matter how true it is on paper, you don’t feel it in your bones.

When you spot a problem with the team’s plan, you think about raising it in a meeting, but stay quiet because you figure if you’re the only one thinking it, you’re the one who’s wrong.

You get nervous before each meeting with your manager, wondering if they’ve finally realized you were a mishire, but can’t work up the courage to ask for feedback.

When you outgrow your role, you want to look for new ones, but the idea of being rejected is so painful that you don’t even give yourself a shot.

You know better, but that’s not enough.

You’ve reminded yourself of your accomplishments.

Your friends have told you how smart you are.

Your manager may even say not to worry.

But the knots in your stomach just aren’t listening.

You need to feel better.

Most advice for Imposter Syndrome is top-down, targeting your thoughts and hoping that changes your feelings.

But if that worked for you, you’d have nailed it by now. You need an approach that can change how you feel.

And that’s possible. It’s just not something that many people offer. You may have a therapist but always end up working on your relationships instead of how you feel at work. You may hire a career coach but focus only on the practical questions, not on your confidence. You may turn to self-help books and find them inspiring, but notice that they don’t impact your life much once you put them down.

The deep-seated feeling of being an imposter keeps slipping through the cracks. That’s why I developed a coaching package specifically for it.

Introducing a holistic approach to Imposter Syndrome

In my 6 month private coaching program On Solid Ground, I help you address Imposter Syndrome on every level:

• Cultural: put your self-doubt in its proper context – sexism, racism, ableism, and dysfunctional company cultures bear a lot of the responsibility here!
• Mental: unwind your self-critical thoughts and rumination cycles.
• Somatic: soothe your nervous system and release the stress your body has been holding onto.
• Emotional: face your fears with compassion.
• Gifts: find your untapped inner resources and practice using them in your life.

From someone who’s been there

I was getting a PhD in linguistics when I realized I wanted to be a software engineer. I took graduate classes in AI before it was cool, did internships at Apple and Athenahealth, worked as a full-time software engineer for 8 years, and kept coding part-time for two years when I started coaching. I know what it’s like to be a woman in tech — it can be thrilling, and it can be brutal.

Before coaching, I had such bad imposter syndrome that it would hijack my nervous system and make me sleepy, dizzy, or brain foggy. But I didn’t know enough about the nervous system at the time to understand what was happening. I just thought I had a disease that the doctors couldn’t figure out!

The talks on imposter syndrome offered nothing but “it’s normal.” Validation is great, but I needed more — so I’m making more available now.

Because Authentic Confidence is already within you

The truth is, you don’t need the “confidence of a mediocre white man.” Underneath your uncertainty and fear, your authentic brand of confidence is just waiting to be set free. 

And the world needs it. We’ve had enough of the fakeness and the arrogance; we need authentic people believing in themselves, learning without fear, and sharing their gifts.

The first step is easy

Take my Flavors of Confidence quiz to find out what kinds of confidence you’re strong in and which kinds you’re searching for.