SEEING CLUBEN IRL AND LIVING TO TELL ABOUT IT.

SO ON SATURDAY ME AND teamaims WENT TO SEE THE CLAY/RUBEN (RUBEN/CLAY, CLAY/RUBEN...) TIMELESS TOUR. USUALLY I EXAGGERATE THINGS A LITTLE, BUT THIS WAS LEGIT THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND THEY ARE THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST AND I AM FREE TO DIE NOW.



CLUBEN INVITES YOU IN TO READ THIS GLORIOUS RECAP. HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE TRUE LIFE CLAYMATE ENCOUNTERS, CROTCH-GRABBING, BAD DANCING, TMI AND OBVIOUSLY THE MAGIC THAT IS CLUBEN.



FIRST OF ALL THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN SEEING CLAY AND RUBEN WAS MEETING UP WITH teamaims TO DO IT BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST SEKKRIT CLAYMATE BUDDY I COULD EVER WISH FOR. <3 PLUS, SHE IS PROVIDING YOU WITH ALL THE PRETTY PICTURES AND VIDEOS IN THIS RECAP!

ONE THING I WAS HAPPY TO FIND IS THAT CLAYMATES DEFINITELY STILL EXIST. AND I DON'T MEAN LIKE ontdtv CLAYMATES, LIKE REAL HARDCORE ONES. THERE WERE OLD LADIES WITH HOMEMADE CLAY AIKEN SHIRTS WITH HEARTS ON THEM AND I SAW SOME AMAZING CLAY AIKEN HANDBAGS AND BUTTONS AND ALL KINDS OF HILARIOUS STUFF LIKE OLD OFC MERCH--THERE WAS LIKE LITERALLY A CLAYMATE CONVENTION GOING ON. FOR SOME REASON THIS WAS THE SHOW ALL THE CLAY FANS DECIDED TO FLOCK TO. IT WAS COMPLETE WITH PEOPLE WHO DONATED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO CHARITY TO GET CLUBEN MEET AND GREETS AND A BACKSTAGE TOUR WHO DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP FOR MOST OF IT BECAUSE THEY WERE TOTALLY DRUNK. FROM WHAT I HEAR THE SHOW WAS SOLD OUT--AWESOME! AND DON'T WORRY I INVITED EVERYBODY THERE TO COME AND JOIN ontd_ai!

FUN ANECDOTE FROM SOME NORMALS: I ALSO GAVE TICKETS TO MY SISTER AND A FRIEND OF HERS. I WARNED THEM ABOUT CRAZY OLD LADIES. THEY LAUGHED IT OFF, THEN THEY GOT YELLED AT BY A HARDCORE CLAYMATES FOR NOT BEING ENTHUSIASTIC ENOUGH AND SHE KEPT CHECKING ON THEM PERIODICALLY TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE GETTING INTO IT.

SO ME AND teamaims WERE IN THE THIRD ROW, DROOLING OVER THE HILARIOUS CLUBEN MERCH THAT HAD THEIR GIANT FACES ALL OVER EVERYTHING OMG IT IS SUCH HIGH FASHION I CAN'T EVEN. CLAY AND RUBEN MUSIC WAS PLAYING. RIGHT BEFORE THEY CAME ON THEY PLAYED "TOUCH" AND I HOPE HE COULD HEAR IT FROM WHEREVER HE WAS BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH HE LOVES THAT SONG.

NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF!

THE CONCERT OPENED WITH AN ANNOUNCER TAKING US BACK TO THE YEAR 2003 AND THE EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN CLAY AIKEN AND RUBEN STUDDARD. CLAY AND RUBEN TAKE THE STAGE TO DUKE IT OUT AGAIN. RUBEN SINGS "FLYING WITHOUT WINGS" AND CLAY COUNTERS HIM WITH "THIS IS THE NIGHT." FAKE FIGHTING ENSUES, AND YES, CLAY DOES SIT ON RUBEN'S LAP. YES THAT JUST HAPPENED. THEY FIGHT IN SONG UNTIL THEY FINALLY RECONCILE THEIR DIFFERENCES BY... ENDING THEIR SONGS. LOL.



THE SHOW IS BASICALLY THEM GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT DECADES OF MUSIC AS IT APPLIES TO THEM, WITH BANTER AND PLAYFUL DIGS AT EACH OTHER, CUTENESS AND HEARTFELT MUSHY CLUBEN-Y GOODNESS. BUT MOSTLY IT WAS JUST HILARIOUS. IT'S JUST SO OBVIOUS THAT THEY'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND LOVE BEING ON STAGE TOGETHER. MORE THAN IT'S A "TIMELESS TOUR" IT'S JUST CLAY AND RUBEN DOING WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT TRYING TO MAKE EACH OTHER GIGGLE. I SWEAR THE ROOM WAS FILLED WITH PURE CONCENTRATED HAPPINESS. I LEFT THERE IN PAIN FROM SMILING SO HARD.

THIS IS THE FIRST TOUR CLAY'S DONE SINCE COMING OUT, SO THERE WERE EXPECTED MENTIONS OF THAT. THEY JOKED ABOUT TOURING TOGETHER AND CLAY WAS LIKE "THANK YOU FOR OPENING FOR ME, RUBEN" AND RUBEN WAS LIKE "NO YOU'RE OPENING FOR ME" AND CLAY WAS LIKE "NO YOU CAME OUT FIRST" AND RUBEN WAS LIKE "NO, YOU CAME OUT FIRST." THEN CLAY DECIDED TO SHARE SOME OTHER THINGS ~THEY HAVE IN COMMON. WHICH WAS MUSIC. YES THERE WAS SINGING ON THIS TOUR DON'T WORRY I'M GETTING TO THAT.

ONE OF THE MOST NOTABLE THINGS ABOUT THE SHOW WAS THIS LADY WHO WAS DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND AND CLAY AND RUBEN SPENT A LOT OF TIME MAKING FUN OF HER. CLAY DESCRIBED HER AS "DRUCKING FUNK" AND SHE KEPT SAYING THINGS LIKE "I LOVE YOU!" AND "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" SO CLUBEN HAD EVERYBODY SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER. CLAY ASKED WHO SHE CAME WITH AND SHE SAID HER KIDS AND CLAY MADE A PRICELESS FACE AND WAS LIKE "OH, EXCELLENT" THEN TALKED ABOUT THE YEARS OF THERAPY HER CHILDREN WERE GOING TO REQUIRE AFTER TONIGHT.

SO THEY KICKED IT OFF IN THE 60S. THEY WOULD DO IT WHERE THEY EACH SANG A SONG FROM THE DECADE AND THEN DID A LONG ASS MEDLEY TOGETHER. I GANKED THIS VIDEO FROM SOMEBODY ELSE SINCE I DON'T THINK WE GOT THE 60S. LOL.



GUH LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE FID FLIGIFDJGFGIDG.

ALRIGHT SO THEN THE 70S HAPPENED. THAT MEANS HILARIOUS DANCING (NOT THAT ALL THE DANCING INVOLVED WASN'T HILARIOUS ANYWAY).



THEY ALSO DID A BIT WHERE CLAY THEY WERE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND CLAY GAVE RUBEN A TINY LITTLE STOOL TO SIT ON SO RUBEN SCORNED HIM.



THIS LEAD TO DISCUSSION ABOUT THEIR ~STOOLS AND IT WAS LIKE WOW THIS IS TMI THIS TOUR REALLY WAS MADE FOR ME WASN'T IT. BUT SINCE CLAY IS A PUSHOVER HE EVENTUALLY GAVE IN AND TOOK THE LITTLE ONE.



SO THEY TALKED ABOUT VARIETY SHOWS OF THE PAST AND HOW PEOPLE COULD SING TOGETHER AND MAKE A GOOD TEAM EVEN IF THEY'RE DIFFERENT. LIKE DONNY AND MARIE AND HOW ONE WAS A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY... ETC., AND PEACHES AND HERB BECAUSE ONE WAS A FRUIT AND ONE WAS AN HERB "JUST LIKE US." AWWWW. BUT THEY WERE LAUGHING SO HARD THROUGH IT AND THEY COULD BARELY EVEN SAY WORDS.

CASEY AND QUIANA WERE THERE TOO AND THEY SANG WHILE CLAY AND RUBEN GOT READY FOR THEIR OTHER STUFF AND THE GIRLS BROUGHT IT.

CLAY AND RUBEN DID THEIR BIT WHERE RUBEN ATTEMPTS TO RID HIM OF HIS LACKOFRHYTHMITIS (AFTER A NIGHT OF TERRIBLE DANCING FROM CLAY) AND CLAY WAS ACTING EXTRA PATHETIC AND RUBEN HAD ALREADY BEEN LAUGHING AND GIGGLING AT EVERYTHING THAT NIGHT AND HE KEPT LOSING IT IT WAS SO CUTE AND CLAY LOVED IT AND KEPT PUSHING IT MORE AND MORE.



THEN CLAY WAS HEALED BY THE POWER OF CHRIST AND RUBEN AND $750 AND HE SANG "WHEN I SEE YOU SMILE" TO THAT DRUNK LADY FROM BEFORE. LOL. OMG AND RUBEN SANG SUPERSTAR AND IT WAS SO. GORGEOUS. LIKE OMG. I THINK EVERYBODY WENT RIGHT OUT AND JOINED THE RUBEN NATION.

OKAY SO THEN MY FAVORITE PART: THE 80S! CLAY WAS TRYING TO BE ALL MANLY BECAUSE IT WAS THE 80S AND HE WAS LIKE "THE A-TEAM EFFF YEEEAAHHHH" AND RUBEN WAS LIKE "CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS!!!!!!" AND IT WENT BACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT. LOL.

INCLUDES LULZY FAKE FIGHTING, STUPID DANCING, DUMB 80S MUSIC AND CLAY SINGING "ALONE" WHICH IS MY PORN LIKE OMG.



AND DID I MENTION FOOTLOOSE?



THEN ONTO THE 90S! THEY TOOK A MOMENT FOR SRS AND CLAY TALKED ABOUT HOW HE MET RUBEN.



GUHHHH THEY ARE SO SWEET AND ADORABLE AND FUNNY. AND I LOVE HOW THE STORY OF HOW THEY MET IS BASICALLY "I MET RUBEN IN A BAR AND HE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO ASK FOR MY NUMBER." OH OKAY THEN. CLUBEN IS REAL YOU GUYS.

AND JUST BECAUSE ME AND teamaims ARE SO HARD ON CLAY AND HIS WARDROBE AND HAIR AND ALL THAT, FOR RENO HE DITCHED HIS ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS YELLOW SHIRT THAT HE'D BEEN WEARING AT THE REST OF THE SHOWS AND TRADED IT FOR A NICE WHITE SHIRT ALL CLEAN AND TUCKED IN AND IT ACTUALLY FIT HIM OH MY GOD. ALSO, HE GOT HIMSELF SOME NEW HAMMER PANTS FOR THEIR 90S STUFF.



RUBEN HADN'T SEEN THE NEW PANTS AND HIS NEW BELT YET AND HE LOST HIS SHIT AGAAAAAAAAIN HE WAS DYING IT WAS SO CUTE AND AMAZING. AND RUBEN WAS LIKE "ARE THOSE MADE OF PLASTIC?" AND CLAY WAS LIKE "NO FEEL IT."

SO RUBEN WENT IN TO FEEL CLAY'S PANTS.



GUYS.

OKAY SO RUBEN WAS LAUGHING SO HARD AT CLAY'S BELT AND PANTS THAT EVERYBODY WAS TRYING TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM.

BEFORE CLAY RIPS OFF HIS PANTS (YES THAT HAPPENS) teamaims GETS HER ZOOM ON CLAY'S CROTCH. SHE CLAIMS SHE WAS TRYING TO GET THE BELT BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT'S A LIE.

ALSO THERE IS BACKSTREET BOYS AND RICKY MARTIN IN THIS YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO WATCH.





AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~ AND THEY ENDED THINGS BY SINGING "TIME OF MY LIFE." CLAY COMPLAINED ABOUT HAVING TO SING THE GIRL PART BUT THEY BOTH SOUNDED AMAZING AND IT WAS JUST LULZY AND ADORABLE AND INAPPROPRIATELY ROMANTIC.



I HAVE NEVER NOT WANTED TO SOMETHING END SO BADLY IN MY LIFE IT COULD HAVE BEEN LIKE 12 HOURS LONG AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ENOUGH. IT WAS PURE, CONCENTRATED JOY.

IF THEY DON'T TOUR TOGETHER AGAIN I WILL WEEP FOR ETERNITY.

YES THIS WAS THE LONGEST POST EVER BUT YOU ARE SO LUCKY I AM ONLY MAKING THIS ONE POST AND THAT I PUT IT ALL BEHIND A CUT. LOL.