bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

  • Warning ! Very Old Person Blogging

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 60 years of happy marriage.

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More hypocritical Harry !

Posted by Big John on April 5, 2019

Talk about … “You couldn’t make it up!” … for, it seems that, ‘The Ginger Whinger of Windsor’.. AKA .. HRH Prince Harry, fears that … “Growing up in today’s world, social media is more addictive than drugs and alcohol”.

‘Nothing wrong with that’ … I hear you say … ‘it’s probably true’ ! .. and, for once, I have to agree with HRH (His Royal Hairyness).

However, he just happened to say this around the same time that he and ‘Me-Me’-Meghan took a break from all those ‘touchy-feely’ photo-ops to launch …”sussexroyal” … on … ‘Instagram’ !

I guess that they must have recovered from their previous trauma caused by all that …

… “public and press intrusion” !  

Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »

Democracy ? … Guess what !

Posted by Big John on March 29, 2019

Today was the day when the UK was to leave the EU, and ….

…   We bloody well didn’t !

Why ? … Because those arse … people who were elected to parliament to represent and carry out the will of the British people …

…  ‘bloody well didn’t’ !

Posted in political, rant | 3 Comments »

Too much too soon !

Posted by Big John on February 27, 2019

According to press reports …”Primary school children from the age of five are to be taught about gay and transgender relationships as part of compulsory lessons,” .. and .. “children as young as four will be taught about relationships, staying safe online and the link between physical and mental health.”

Well, good luck with that ! ..

… I’ve been around for a very long time and I’m still confused, despite the fact that I had a bi-sexual aunt, a transvestite workmate, a rather ‘camp’ lesb .. thespian neighbour, a ‘flirty’ Flight Sergeant, and, long before homosexuality was made legal in the UK, I knew one or two of the ‘usual suspects’ when they ventured out of their ‘closets’. Blimey ! I even remember when the word ‘gay’ had a very different meaning.

Now, as I have previously stated … “I couldn’t care less if someone is gay, straight, bi-sexual and all the rest, so long as they do no harm to others and “don’t frighten the horses”.

However, I have to wonder how a teacher explains about ‘LGBTI’ and all that .. ‘gender fluidity’ .. ‘male/female binary’ ..’gender self-identification’ .. and the rest to young children who cannot possibly understand such a complicated subject; and, more importantly, at that tender age, …

… do they really need to know about it ? 

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia, rant | 4 Comments »

“Fake News!” … I wonder ?

Posted by Big John on February 11, 2019

Today is my birthday, and it feels great to have reached “the ripe old age” of eighty.

Last year, on my birthday I posted that …

“I’ve just ‘Googled’ today’s date to see if any significant event happened in “this sceptred isle” on this day 79 years ago … Nothing ! .. Nowt! .. Zilch ! .. Nada !”

… and this year I’m hoping to find out if that was true, as today I received a large package containing this …

… On opening the box I found this …

… An original copy of ‘The Times’ for the day of my birth !

….   Keep watching this space.

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 3 Comments »

Does Brexit mean no more continental breakfasts ?

Posted by Big John on February 9, 2019

I’ve just had a long telephone conversation with my American cousin who lives in Upstate New York. He is now in his eighties and, as you would expect, he is not as fit as he used to be. However, his brain is as sharp as ever, and although he has lived in the United States for 60 years and is a patriotic US citizen, he has managed to retain his British sense of humour.

The reason he called was to get my perspective on the Brexit situation, as he is getting the impression, from the US media, that here in the UK the myths of ‘Project Fear’ are about to come true, and that we will soon be running out of life saving drugs, starving as our supermarket shelves empty, and our other imports dry up, as we are cut off from the rest of Europe.

Now, I had to remind him of a far worse period of our history, which we both lived through as children when playing in the ruins of war torn London: and of all those years of food rationing, including sweets (candy), when all that Spam and powdered eggs from America was most welcome.

I’m now awaiting …

… my first food parcel !

Posted in family, History, humour, nostalgia, political | 2 Comments »

“On the fritz” and freezing !

Posted by Big John on February 4, 2019

It’s the middle of winter … It’s below zero and freezing outside … It’s Sunday night … It’s the coldest night of the year … I’m tired and I want to go to bed …  I switch the central heating to 24hrs … AND … Guess what ?

… Nothing ! …. IT’S NOT BLOODY WORKING !

It’s that time of year once again ! … Recently I have replaced …

  •  A fridge/freezer as the ice in the frost free section could have sunk ‘The Titanic’.
  •  An ‘all-in-one’ printer, which turned into a colour free paper shredder.
  •  An electric fan heater which decided that it was summer.
  •  Some ‘bits’ (don’t ask) for my car’s engine, after it’s annual MOT test.

… and, as you would expect, a number of those stupid sodding light bulbs which we were promised would “last a lifetime” by that bunch of slippery chancers who, at present, are screwing up ‘Brexit’ !

I have to leave this little rant here for the present, as it is now Monday morning and I have just looked out of the window and “Hooray!” I can see … “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?” … No! .. It’s Kevin the heating engineer from …

… ‘British Gas’ !

Posted in humour, rant | Leave a Comment »

“It’s the thought that counts” !

Posted by Big John on January 29, 2019

In a couple of weeks I will reach the ‘Big 80!’, and to mark this momentous occasion I have just received a letter from The Pension Service informing me … “Now that you are approaching 80, you are entitled to a higher amount of State Pension”.

What a pleasant surprise !  … “Every little helps” … as the old lady said when she peed in the sea.

Then I read on; only to discover that this old pensionista shouldn’t get too excited about that “higher amount” because … “Age Addition of 25p per week will be payable from your 80th Birthday”.

Wow ! … 25pence a week ! .. Yes, that’s a whole £1 ($1,30) per month ! …

… ‘Poundland’ here I come !

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

“Sacré Bleu ! … Nobody sings.”

Posted by Big John on January 10, 2019

I must say that, so far, I have enjoyed watching the BBC’s production of “Les Misérables”, for as far as I can tell, it’s faithful to Victor Hugo’s epic tale of injustice in France after Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo. It’s well-made and not been ‘sexed up’ or stylised to appeal to a modern audience, apart from Lilly Collins’ eyebrows, a black Inspector Javert and an Asian Thénardier .. (Voici)

Now I’m not too bothered about a pretty woman’s eyebrows or the colour of an actor’s skin; but the one thing that irritates me about this production is, just like the above “Voici”, it includes bits of the French language in the English dialogue. Such as .. “Merci monsieur” instead of “Thank you sir”. It reminds me of those old war movies, when English speaking actors playing German soldiers always obeyed a command given in English with the words .. “Jawohl, mein Kapitan“. In fact, in some crowd scenes the people in the background, such as the prison guards or local paysans, are actually speaking French ! …

…  Pourquoi ? 

Posted in entertainment, humour, rant | 2 Comments »

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