bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

  • Warning ! Very Old Person Blogging

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 60 years of happy marriage.

    ———————-

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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Christmas revisited.

Posted by Big John on December 20, 2021

I hope that you will forgive me for taking a seasonal walk down ‘memory lane’, but I just remembered a post which you may find interesting and amusing. I published it for the first time back in 2014 …

“I know that this must sound strange to many people, but I can remember when Christmas started  … at Christmas ! .. Not, as I recently read  … “during August” !

When I was a young child nothing much happened in our house until Christmas Eve apart from my dad ‘dispatching’ one of our chickens in the back yard and hanging it in the coal cellar (Yes, that’s where the meat was kept). Later my mum would pluck it and prepare it for Christmas dinner. To most people, in those days, ‘Turkey’ meant a place where they made strange smelling cigarettes.

On Christmas Eve my dad would bring home a small fir tree of some kind, which had probably been growing alongside the railway track where he had been working that day. He would also have with him a sack containing a limited assortment of fruit and nuts. No one ever asked where they came from, as wartime rationing (which continued for long after WWII) meant that an orange was something to be marvelled at: and I well remember that the first time I saw a banana I thought it was some sort of sausage.

From inside his overcoat pocket he would produce a bottle of Scotch whisky, which would have recently been ‘under the counter’ of the local off-licence (liquor store), which was run by one of his mates. He would return to the store later to pick up a crate of ‘Guinness’ and a bottle of ‘Tizer’ for me. Wine was far too ‘posh’ and was limited to sherry or port if any could be found.

My task was to make the paper chains, which I did with my mum’s help. She cut up the coloured paper and I glued the strips together with home-made paste, which didn’t always stick. Holly would be hung all over the place: and I suspect that this came from the same place as the little fir tree, which would soon be decorated with a few ‘antique’ glass baubles and some tatty tinsel.

My grandmother lived in the same street as us, and was a bit like a fairy godmother when Christmas came around, for not only did she make Christmas puddings for all the family, but somehow, managed to come up with a few extra goodies, mostly supplied by a local butcher (we never found out how she blackmailed him), and various friendly ‘black-market’ contacts. A few items had been ‘liberated’ by dodgy members of our gallant allies, the United States Army.

On Christmas Eve I would hang up a pair of my dad’s long woollen socks, snuggle down under the blankets, watch the shadows on the wall made by a glowing fire and wish: but I never did get …

…  that bloody train set !

Posted in familyhumournostalgia | Edit |

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“Bring out yer over 80 year olds!”

Posted by Big John on January 10, 2021

Remember my visit to the local “drive-thru” on the 24th November ?

Well, I visited it again yesterday for my first dose of Pfizer-COVID-19 vaccine, and so did bloody hundreds of other old farts.

What was very noticeable was the friendly attitude and efficiency of the medical staff and volunteers. It took time, but everything ran very smoothly as far as I could see, despite the freezing weather: and, there wasn’t any sign of a single …

“grumpy old git”

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Make it a common-sense Christmas.

Posted by Big John on December 18, 2020

Last year I didn’t post my usual Christmas greeting due to being preoccupied with a major family crisis: and, this year, it hardly seems appropriate to indulge in all that “Ho! Ho! Ho!” frivolity when in the middle of a terrible pandemic, and, at a time, when we should all be concentrating on protecting ourselves and our loved ones. So, this year, my message is don’t hug granny and …

 “stay frosty!”

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

“Left hand, right hand?”

Posted by Big John on November 24, 2020

Ten days ago I visited a local ‘Drive-Thru’. The service was fast and friendly, but none of the staff asked .. “Do you want fries with that?” .. However I was asked for my date of birth, and when I declared that I was born shortly before the start of WWII, I was immediately directed into “the fast lane”, and was quickly on my way home after my free annual flu jab which I had booked with my local health centre several weeks before.

Today, to my surprise, I received a very long letter from “NHS England and NHS Improvement” reminding me that I “should book an appointment with your GP practice or a pharmacy to get the flu vaccination”.

Let us hope that the “Improvement” arm of the NHS has actually been at work before …

… the “Covid” vaccine arrives !

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Another Panic Plan !

Posted by Big John on September 12, 2020

It’s hard to believe, but Barmy Boris and his mate Matt Han-cock-up have just come up with a way of increasing the Covid 19 infection rate !

They have introduced the ‘six person rule‘, but it doesn’t start until Monday! .. which means that every ‘covidiot’ in the country will be out and about this weekend attending every kind of party and piss-up imaginable, before the ‘hi-viz jobsworths’ start reporting them for being very, very, naughty boys and girls.

“Joined-up thinking” …

… Wos That then ?

 

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TV’s fledgling “legal eagle”.

Posted by Big John on August 17, 2020

I’ve just watched the final episode of the new “Perry Mason” TV series. Apart from some of the characters’ names being the same, it is nothing like the old ‘court room drama’ shows from more than 50 years ago, although I believe it is somewhat true to the first few books written by Earl Stanley Gardner.

However, I enjoyed this kind of “noir detective” tale of a hard drinking scruffy gumshoe in 1930’s Los Angeles. It reminded me of another great series “Boardwalk Empire” with it’s very ‘authentic look’ and ‘believable’ characters, with Matthew Rhys as good in this as he was in “The Americans”.

Oh ! .. before I forget .. According to this new series investigator Paul Drake used to be black and Della Street was a lesbian. I’m not sure what happened with Paul, but at least we know why in the old series …

… Della and Perry never became “an item”.

 

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It only takes one !

Posted by Big John on August 13, 2020

I see that one of my favourite poets, Rudyard Kipling, is in the news again, because the BBC has decided that the musical version of his celebrated poem “Mandalay” is being removed from their showpiece programme commemorating the 75th anniversary of VJ Day, much to the distress of the WWII veterans’ organisation the Burma Star Association. This is because just one of the performers objected to the line ..“an wastin’ Christian kisses on an ’eathen idol’s foot”  .. as he felt .. “it derogatory to people of colour.” Quite how that works, is a little beyond my old brain’s understanding. 

If you have not read Kipling’s poems, I should warn you that they do not fall into the category of ‘WOKE-PC’ , although “Fuzzy-Wuzzy” was written about the bravery and fighting skills of Sudanese tribesmen and his …

“Of all them blackfaced crew
The finest man I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din…

… Though I’ve belted you and flayed you,
         By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
     You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!”

… are extracts from a poem which may be complicated by the reality of imperialism and the overtones of racism. However, this soldier’s tribute to the Indian servant who saved his life is touching nonetheless.

“There is no sin so great as ignorance. Remember this.” … Rudyard Kipling

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

.. and this is progress ?

Posted by Big John on August 3, 2020

Just what we need at this traumatic time when a deadly pandemic sweeps across the world …

Yes ! You guessed right … 36 new members of the House of Lords, including Boris’s little brother and an ex-captain of the England cricket team.

Some clever-clogs has worked out that their combined annual expenses will cost the British tax-payer £1.1 million a year. Mind you this isn’t even a “drop in the ocean” when you consider the billions (we don’t have), being tossed around on such idiotic schemes as barmy Bojo’s “on yer bike” and Tricky Rishi’s half price pizza plan.

Never mind. The sun is still shining, the pubs are now open, your nails can be manicured, and if you have a mind to, you can have your bum tattooed before heading for the nearest beach to join all the other halfwits who seem completely oblivious to the fact that they risk far more than getting sunburned and finding some real sand in …

… their sandwiches.

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