Oldcontroller's Blog

So, remember the conversation I had with my new boss about the key signature for “Mary, Did You Know”? Let me tell you what happened that Sunday, the 15th.

We had a violinist lined up. A friend of mine, a professional musician from whom I’ve been taking music theory classes, agreed to write an obbligato for her to play while our soloist was singing. I had everything set up, the music for the piece having been downloaded and paid for by my boss. I was also playing.

The violinist never showed. Turned out there was some confusion about doors being unlocked, or something. I’m still not sure what really happened, only that she claims she couldn’t get into the church and that “no one was there.” At 8:30 in the morning we were all there and the doors were unlocked. She knows where the church is, she was in the orchestra for the Singing Christmas Tree. It’s confusing. Regardless of the circumstances, she didn’t show up. Not in the sanctuary, anyway.

So, it was just me. And the organist and pianist and two guitarists (one of them my boss) and the drummer. We rehearsed everything, and when we rehearsed “Mary, Did You Know” my boss decided he didn’t like the arrangement. Pitched too low, or something. He trotted over to me and asked if we had another arrangement.

Now, he knows if we have another arrangement. I had showed it to him. He disapproved it in favor of the thing he downloaded. I said yes, we have one. He asked me to go get it and that’s what we would use.

Bear in mind he doesn’t understand key signatures, he didn’t even remember that he’d seen it already and so has no idea if it’s pitched higher or lower than his choice, which he has now decided to discard.

At a little after ten o’clock. Less than an hour before the service starts. He’s changed his mind.

It’s a pattern. It started a few weeks ago. The first time he wasn’t able to yank the rug out from under anybody because his assistant — me — had shown up early as directed to but as agreed had left for Sunday School when it was time to. So when he yelled up to me in the balcony that he wanted to change to a version in a different key, I wasn’t there to run off copies. So he had to stick with the one he’d chosen.

But when I was there, when he changed his mind and said go get the other one, I scurried off to find it (at first I couldn’t remember where I’d found it — why would I? — he’d chosen a different one because he didn’t like the one we already had), and made 4 copies. One for the pianist, one for the organist (who for that piece was playing the synthesizer), one for the vocalist, and one for me. I had intended to play the violinist’s obbligato, but once he’d changed to a different arrangement that went out the window. I brought the copies back and handed them out. I apologized to our keyboardists as they weren’t in the format they prefer, but I didn’t have time to do that. What I should have apologized for was the necessity for them to sight-read the thing 45 minutes, at most, before the service started.

We got through it. I read chord names and played long tones until the second verse, when I played the melody with the vocalist, sort of. I didn’t want to play exactly what he was singing, he doesn’t need help, he has a wonderful voice, so I sort of echoed or played a counter melody. The music was right in front of me so don’t be impressed — if it was difficult I wouldn’t have been able to do it.

There’s more. For the Christmas Eve service the boss told me he wanted as the postlude The Hallelujah Chorus (from The Messiah). Never mind that it’s in the Easter portion of The Messiah and wholly inappropriate for Christmas Eve. I know why — several of the comment cards we got from our Singing Christmas Tree audiences expressed disappointment at not hearing The Hallelujah Chorus. People like it. I do too, but it’s got no place in a Christmas Eve service. But what put the kibosh on that idea was our accompanists. They flat refused to do it. The accompaniment is extremely difficult. It requires lots of lead time and practice. They knew that there was no way to pull it together in the few days they had before the service. Not that they can’t play it; of course they can. But play it well, without errors — not in that short amount of time. So we’re not doing the Hallelujah Chorus. We’re finishing our Christmas Eve service, as is traditional, with candle lighting and the singing of Silent Night. Quiet and reverent. As it should be. Not like last year. With my ex-boss in charge. Whom I miss more than I can say. He can read music. *sigh*

And yet there’s more. Another thing my boss had expressed a desire to do for the Christmas Eve service was a carol medley. He asked me if we had any. We’ve got dozens, probably, but it’s not a good idea to give the boss too many choices. Not just this boss; any boss. I pulled three out of our library holdings and showed them to him. He looked them over — not sure what he thought he was reading, and he pronounced one of them as “weird”, I have no idea what his criteria for this assessment were — and picked one.

It’s an octavo, so I had to copy and enlarge it for the pianist and organist. Then I had to make more copies for the choir as we didn’t have enough. Really, they probably didn’t need copies, the words would have been up on the screen and do you think they need any help with the lyrics to Christmas carols? But I did all the work, ’cause that’s my job. That’s what I’m supposed to do.

This past Wednesday evening I stuck my head into the sanctuary where my boss was having a rehearsal with the Praise Team. He announced that the carol medley wasn’t “going to work”. I don’t know why. He didn’t say, I didn’t ask. He said we had to find something else. The organist came back in to the office with me and she chose 3 hymns from the old hymnal that would serve. I printed the charts out for her and the pianist and she went back into the sanctuary. I went on to a rehearsal at another church, as I’m playing timpani there on Sunday for both their services. Paying gig. The boss knew about it. Means whatever happens on Sunday morning, I won’t be there to see it. Or bail him out if he decides to change something at the last minute.

The next afternoon when I came in, this would be on Thursday, he came in and said the 3 I’d copied weren’t what he wanted to do. He added 5 hymns that would be done back to back, first verse only until the last hymn (O Come All Ye Faithful) when all the verses would be sung. So, that afternoon, in addition to getting everything ready for Sunday (I was behind — guess why), I had to copy and scan the music, add it to the packages for the musicians for Sunday, and email it to them also so they’d have it early to look at if they wanted to.

I left the office at 9 that night. Four hours later than I was supposed to. Because it all had to be done, and there isn’t anyone else to do it. It’s my job.

Here’s the thing — he can’t keep upsetting the apple cart every Sunday morning. Our two accompanists are very distressed at what’s going on. They practice, they’re very good at what they do. What we’re supposed to do is provide them with their charts at the latest on Wednesday evening so they can practice and be ready for Sunday. When the boss yanks the proverbial rug out from under them on Sunday morning — not good, y’all. Really, really not good.

If they quit, we’re hosed. Finding a good reliable pianist is extremely difficult. Finding a good reliable organist — you’d have better luck finding a unicorn. Neither of these people do this full time, they’re employed full-time elsewhere. They get paid for what they do for us, but they don’t rely on that check for their livelihood. If he upsets them sufficiently they can, and might, pull the plug. We need them more than they need us.

I don’t know why he does this, but I suspect it’s because a) He doesn’t read music, b) He has no understanding of the prep time necessary to play keyboard music well, c) He’s never had to work with professional musicians of the caliber we have and doesn’t understand the extent to which he is crushing toes, d) He suspects (or knows) he is out of his element and has little to no confidence in himself so he second-guesses his choices.

Here’s what he really should be doing — planning ahead. Weeks in advance. My ex-boss did that. Granted some of his planning was inside his head until he put it on a time-flow for me on Monday or Tuesday, but he knew what he wanted to do. And he reads music. And understands music theory. And worked closely with his accompanists and Praise Team members, even to having them over to the studio behind his house (which he built) on Tuesday evenings so if there were issues they were known and addressed at that time. He never, but never, swapped things out Sunday morning. He’d have thought that was crazy.

And it is.

I had a discussion with the new boss the other day, during which I was showing him how to conduct the special music for this Sunday, I am not making that up. He’s confused about counting, which is completely understandable as he doesn’t read music. I know I keep repeating that — but it matters. It really, really, really matters. I mentioned that I was taking music theory classes and voice lessons, and he indicated he was interested in doing that also. I mentioned that to my music theory teacher who gave me the first two books in the series to give him, and I mean give him, she didn’t want to be paid for them. Her only requirement is that he follow through. And he wants to take voice lessons from my voice teacher. Who has agreed to do that, for a fee. He has her number, so I’m praying he calls her and sets it up and follows through.

I wonder what my role is in all this. I’m sure God has a plan, and I’m supposed to do what He wants me to do. He’s saddled us all — with the help of the PTB of the church and the search committee — with a music leader who doesn’t read music. I’ve said before I’ve wondered why, and I still do. I’ve said before that I believe we’re heading for a crash, and I still do. So — what am I doing here?

Maybe I’m supposed to help him. Maybe my job includes getting him smarter musically, even if my only contribution is pointing him at the people who are equipped to help him.

He’s a nice young man, mostly, there’s an arrogant streak there which might actually only be fear that people are going to find out how little he knows. But he moved his family here from Florida, he bought a house, he’s here completely. He’s performing without a net. If there is a hidden agenda, and I don’t know that there is, that includes destruction of our music program (why in the world would anyone want to do that? I don’t know), elimination of the Singing Christmas Tree (ditto previous question), uprooting of tradition (ditto again)…. He’s going to get chewed up and spit out. He doesn’t deserve that.

And that is not how Christians are supposed to behave. Not to non-Christians and absolutely not towards each other. So I don’t know what’s going on. This is SOP for me; I’ve never really understood what was happening around me. Maybe I’ll have that put on my tombstone, if I decide I need one. “Here lies a hapless buffoon who never really understood what was going on.”

Anyway, I’m trying to leave it to God. He has a purpose. The one phrase in the Bible that is said more than any other is the instruction to not be afraid. Do not fear. God is in control.

But this is shaping up to be a very large fiasco — unless some of us can do something to stop it.

I’ll try to keep you posted. If you were really there. The only person who reads this is me. It’s cathartic, I guess, even if it’s only an echo chamber.

So, the new boss wants one of our praise team members, a tenor (who has the most amazing voice, he could sing professionally) to sing “Mary, Did You Know?” at the service this Sunday. We have it, one arrangement of it, anyway, but he decided he wanted a different one. That he had to pay for and download.

I don’t get a vote.

So, he had it on his laptop screen (a preview page, that is) and I was looking at it from the side and asked (I have no idea why) if it was in C. I leaned over to get closer and realized it wasn’t in C, it was in A minor. And said so.

For you non-musicians out there, C major and A minor have the same key signature — no sharps and no flats. All white keys on the piano. For some instruments (besides piano and organ and other keyboards) it’s a very easy key. For flutes it’s kinda weird. I keep wanting to play B-flats and E-flats. Maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, back to the conversation. I said, “Oh, it’s in A minor.” He said, “Technically, it’s in C.”

I didn’t say anything. Maybe because saying, “Technically, it’s in A minor” might have gotten me fired, or at least chastised. Because one doesn’t correct one’s boss, who is the worship pastor. At least, not in our office.

My music theory teacher said what I should have told him was that A minor is the relative minor to C major, on the theory that it might have made his head explode.

*sigh*

Maybe what I’m supposed to do is help him learn to read music and understand something about music theory. This would be a lot easier if he didn’t adopt his usual defensive/arrogant stance every time we have a musical discussion.

Oy, vey.