I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Then bring me luck
the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work
Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.
Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)
Definitely golden! Here's hoping it works xD
Sure, let’s give it a try.
Okay, first new post in a long time. I hope that people enjoy it.
Pathfinder’s alchemists’ focus is on potions, bombs, and things of that nature. But while healing and explosions are notable you can’t forget the various other capabilities they possess. While there isn’t a direct translation at the moment for mainline 5e, the concept can still be applied regardless. And for a halfling, there are probably a number of possibilities from this class/archetype that would be appealing.
Halfling alchemists… okay, no, going for the height thing is too easy. That’s also going to be a thing for the gnomes, and it’s just way too obvious. Also rather presumptive. But let’s move past that. Let’s consider classic halflings: based on hobbits, living in idyllic countrysides for the most part. Lots of farming, food, drinking, and generally peaceful living. How does an alchemist fit in here? Well, halflings can still get injured or sick: accidents happen, and infections can take hold. So a healer is especially useful, especially one that can create bottled brews. But wide open spaces are also great for using explosions in attack or defense. And anyone with a measure of chemistry can help with local issues of water, food, or cleanliness.
There’s also something to be said for their adaptability and creativity. They can find solutions that wizards might not have considered, or which the domains of clerics don’t cover. Halflings are often considered lucky, but it’s good to have a plan for when luck runs out. Flexibility can be the key to survival, let alone victory. And halflings might often have to be flexible, given their standing in most worlds. So maybe they go against the grain? What’s most important is that they get results. Although, it’s important to remember that an alchemist can be just as good or evil, lawful or chaotic, as any other class. Although I may have used this line before in this project, I’m still going to use it: the healer can have the bloodiest hands.
Sietske Van Wieren: Town in Trouble
One of the queendom’s smallest farming communities is surviving in the midst of a terrible drought, and thanks are due to its local alchemist. Sietske was hoping to help her grandmother’s home prosper, but now she might be the only thing keeping it alive. Bandits and dangerous creatures are being drawn to the village due to a lack of food elsewhere. Sietske has sent word to the royal army, but they may not arrive in time. As a back-up plan, she also puts up postings on the job board of the next closest town. Adventurous individuals will find that the pay is good and potentially long term, especially if the queen finances Sietske’s efforts.
Aadan: Business is Booming
A small and previously unimportant stretch of hills and mountains is now swarming with people due to a gold rush. However, Aadan isn’t a miner himself. Instead, he is an opportunistic alchemist who is selling both curatives and explosives to those willing to pay. Unfortunately there are only so many ingredients that he can safely harvest himself or buy from traders. In order to acquire some of his most necessary components he is willing to hire mercenaries (or “adventurers” if that’s what they call themselves). As a bonus, he’ll sell to those who succeed at a slight discount.
Ofa: Where the Sick Guards Went
The island city-state of Moʻunga-Lanumata is in need of assistance. Many city guards have fallen terribly ill, with a few even disappearing in the night. And then a horrible monster appeared and terrorized the market district for hours before it was killed. Thankfully the island’s small order of alchemists can assist with healing, but the island’s rulers must turn to adventurers to assist in the investigation. Eventually, it will turn up that a halfling alchemist named Ofa has been indirectly involved in the treatment of all those who vanished and somehow most of the ill guards as well. If the party goes looking for Ofa’s records, they will find half-truths and forgeries. Who is Ofa, and what have they done with the missing guards?
Apologies for not posting for two years. It’s been… a time. I’m considering starting again and at least finishing the PF1e APG classes, but I do want to know if anybody actually cares? If you like my stuff and would like to see even a little bit of something new then please speak up. It’s honestly really hard to write for just myself. Also, I hope that - whoever you are - you’re doing well. TTFN.
Oh, yes. Humans like power. Because in many ways we feel powerless. That’s probably true for most forms of sentient, mortal life. But power and control are oftentimes just illusions that we believe because it makes us more comfortable. This can also be applied to the witch (or warlock, for 5e D&D) and the bargain they make with a patron. You think you’re getting free magic, but really you’re promising to work for a powerful entity that may not care about your well-being. Arch-devils, abyssal despots, undead demigods- the list goes on for toxic supernatural employers. Some mortals probably think they can make it work out, but entities that can grant magic can plan far in advance and can have contingencies for contingencies for contingencies. And, of course, there are those who are aligned with their patron’s interests from the beginning.
But why be a witch instead of a cleric or something similar? Well, witches have access to some unique magic and powers, so that’s probably a draw. Plus, I think I’ve gone over the idea that a witch can be more incognito than a cleric with their holy/unholy symbol and prayers and such. So, human witch? Figure out why they want power and that can help inform how they can factor into a campaign.
Bryn Rhydderch [Patron: Deception]
Growing up in an orphanage can make a child desperate to achieve a better life, which is why they are often targeted by dark powers. But in Bryn’s case, it was actually a more neutral entity: an elemental water demigod. To allow Bryn safety from bullies and then bigots, this patron granted them power to avoid and evade as well as a bonded cat. Over time, Bryn has used this power while working as an agent for a relatively benign thieves guild as well as “liberating” orphans who are being mistreated. Of course, all of that comes with lawkeepers trying to take down what they see as a criminal with access to wicked magic.
Ghalib Nejem Al-Amin [Patron: Endurance]
The nation has a problem: assassins. Specifically, spellcaster assassins. Ghalib is a government investigator and a distant relation of the royal family, so he’s had a target on his back for some time. Thankfully, a spirit of justice noticed how dedicated Ghalib was and granted him powers of protection After accepting them from the owl this spirit sent as an intermediary, the harried investigator could reasonably survive an arcane ambush. Now Ghalib is looking for help in stopping the assassins and finding out who exactly put the hit on him in the first place.
Intan [Patron: Animals]
Boar demons are well known for representing gluttony, but a close second could be considered greed. Intan serves a greater form of such a demon who has granted them power over animals. Normally, animals are disgusted by demonic magic, but by granting power to a human the odor is masked. So, Intan uses her magic to make animals do her bidding. Whether it’s stealing, distracting, or actually attacking, Intan sees animals as tools to be used. How does that work with the viper that is acting as Intan’s familiar? Well, that’s a very… complicated relationship.
Someone commented that a couple of things were messed up on the Human Cleric NPC Character Sheet post. They were correct, and I fixed them. Everything should be good, but if there are further technical issues regarding past or future posts feel free to let me know. Now, back to your regularly scheduled (?) content.
What class would you associate most with an antagonist in a D&D or Pathfinder campaign? Probably warlock/witch? Maybe a wizard? Perhaps even a rogue. But what about the cleric? After all, the cleric can serve evil just as easily as good. But, what if it’s not just evil that’s a problem? Law and chaos are on that alignment grid too, after all. And for today’s NPC character sheet, order is always the order of the day.
Pathfinder 1e Character Sheet: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-9ES6jwsznNwi-p8OWQlLtB1z1_aD55L/view?usp=sharing
Brigh’s Pathfinder Wiki Page: https://pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Brigh
The human cleric that I’ve chosen to make a sheet for is Lenox Acheson, whose domains are Knowledge and Fire. I wrote that he follows a god of industry and invention, of which there is one already made for Pathfinder which could work: Brigh, sometimes called the Whisper in Bronze. She is primarily concerned with crafting and research into mechanisms, constructs, and alchemy. But, as a True Neutral deity her followers can be Lawful Neutral, which would make sense for Lenox as someone trying to bring order to the world. In fact, he might see the world as a kind of mechanism which is not operating properly.
In Lenox’s view, the world would be a lot better if everyone were in a more efficient and advanced society. Because of this, he’s decided to start uniting the world by whatever means necessary. Now that’s not to say he’s cruel or unnecessarily destructive: that would go against the tenets of Brigh, and he is very faithful to his goddess. But he does lead an army to conquer new territory in the name of unity and progress. Traditional lifestyles are erased in the name of efficiency and differences in culture are being ignored. But his regime does make a number of improvements for the lives of people: free education and healthcare for everyone, meritocratic systems instead of aristocracy or castes, and improved living conditions all around.
So, is Lenox an ally or enemy? That’s up for you and your players to decide.
P.S. Remember you don’t have to use Brigh specifically as the deity, I just used her as a helpful example!
Half-orc cavaliers probably have a lot in common with half-orc paladins based on general lore. Following a code of conduct could help them find a place in the world or open up avenues that would otherwise be closed to them. In a world that usually dislikes them, being a cavalier could be the best option for those half-orcs that have the option. But, there is an interesting alternative. What if orcs and half-orcs are the people that are known for being cavaliers? After all, in both Pathfinder and D&D orcs are generally known for basing social status off of their martial prowess. The oldest concept (or stereotype) is of the orc barbarian warlord, but what if they were known for their orderly knight commanders? You could even have the orcs act more like the turians from Mass Effect with a civilization based around military service. But, we’re talking about half-orcs here, so let’s get to the characters!
Namgung Seong-Jin, Wandering Warrior of the Deer [Order of the Dragon]
In the land that Seong-Jin calls home, some noble children take up the mantle of an order of warriors that works separately from but alongside the military. Seong-Jin most often serves as back-up alongside soldiers at poorly defended border forts. While being a half-orc often makes others initially distrust him, his nature as a gentle giant often throws people off-guard. If people inquire about him with those on his list of references they will receive word of nothing but good deeds, professionalism, and an overall morale boost. And if his martial prowess is in question, Seong-Jin is more than happy to provide a demonstration of his capabilities both mounted and on foot.
Mele of the Island Guardians [Order of the Shield]
Foreigner pirates have been raiding the archipelago for months, taking many goods and even desecrating sacred places. To stop this, all of the island leaders have dedicated warriors to a new group to protect the people. Mele was one of the first to volunteer. With the blessings of the shamans, the guardians have bonded with the mighty wave-runners (hippocampus to the foreigners) and have been given ships to patrol the archipelago. While Mele will never betray her oaths to her leaders, people, and ancestors, she also sees this as an opportunity to better her family’s position.
Jordan Atanasov [Order of the Sword]
Getting promoted is the goal of many soldiers, but Jordan didn’t really care about making it to a command position. They just wanted to do their job. So, ending up as a judge’s soldier seemed like a pretty good idea. Unfortunately, it’s also resulted in them getting hated by two groups: the racists and the corrupt. But being a half-human does mean that the tuskless soldiers and civilians often trust Jordan more than their compatriots, which sometimes helps with investigations. Regardless, Jordan remains professional and incorruptible at all times and does their best to make sure justice is served.
Ah, the first proper post after returning. Let’s get to it.
Many people underestimate the gnomes, thinking them easy to push around due to their small stature. But as I’ve often pointed out the gnomes can be just as capable as any race. And the gnome warrior Nakano Shinobu is going to prove that as this post’s NPC.
Pathfinder 1e Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r0jrFY8J10pWJYzSpKhu1gzG5GzFNaUSEjy1HZH0pd8/edit?usp=sharing
I originally described Shinobu as a “ronin,” which for those who don’t know was the term for a samurai in feudal Japan who no longer had a master. Now, samurai is a class in Pathfinder but that’s not what we’re discussing today. Shinobu is a fighter by class and focuses on assisting other gnomes in defending themselves. Whether training gnomes to defend themselves, leading local soldiers, or just fighting off a small group of brigands himself, Shinobu is always working to keep his people safe. This makes him readily available for whenever and wherever you might need him to show up. Additionally, being a higher level NPC he can realistically be a DM-ex-machina to save player characters who are in trouble. Perhaps he could even serve as someone to teach a PC character a particular feat or fighting style.
However, his only real goal is the safety of his people, so he won’t join any cause that doesn’t involve them. Bandits attacking a human town? Not his problem. Oni having taken over an elven fortress? Nope. Dragon sinking ships and disrupting trade? Nah. It would take a lot of convincing to get Shinobu to see a non-direct threat as something to concern him. Of course, helping gnomes will get you points with him, but it takes time and effort to get him to actually trust non-gnomes. He’s not prejudiced, it’s just literal centuries of witnessing his people be attacked, persecuted, or abandoned.
Finally, there’s the Pathfinder gnome issue: the need for wonder. However, while it could be an interesting plot hook, you don’t need it to make it work for your world. Just toss it out the window if you don’t like it. I’ve written gnomes with this in the past, but of course you can do things as you want. In a world where it does happen you could have Shinobu pay the player characters to defend a gnome town or enclave while he travels somewhere new. It could be the basis of an entire arc, waiting for the renowned ronin to return. If this supernatural need doesn’t exist, you could just explain it as Shinobu needs to be gone for another reason. In fact, there’s a prime example in the adventure hooks. Regardless, I hope that you enjoy my rendition of a high-level gnome fighter. While I’m currently only making character sheets for Pathfinder 1st edition, I am contemplating trying to make them for 5e D&D as well. I’ll see if I can make it happen. For the time being, it’s good to be back. Until next time!
I haven’t made a post on this blog in nearly two years. I kept meaning to, thinking I would finally get back to it and continue my efforts. But, it never came to pass. In that time, the world as we know it changed forever. Thankfully, I have been okay and so have the people closest to me. While I don’t know if anyone will actually be excited to see this, I am going to try and continue this blog. It was fun, and I would at least try to finish off the Pathfinder 1e Advanced Player’s Guide classes. Hopefully the steam won’t run out and I drop this again for another two years. To that end, I probably won’t be posting multiple times a week like I did in the past. Most likely, I’ll be trying for once a week, possibly only once every two weeks. But, this project isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. Of course, there is other stuff that I can show off to those who are interested.
For a little while now I’ve been streaming on Twitch. Mostly video games, but I do have something that I call “World Building Wednesday,” where I stream a writing process of creating a fantasy RPG setting. So far I’ve made an island inhabited by tieflings and a half-orc founded desert city-state. I’m still figuring out how to publish them for use, but when I do it will likely go on my streaming-profile’s Twitter account. For those interested, please give it a look and feel free to check out my streams. Otherwise, please continue to enjoy the NPCs that I can create. And of course please feel free to tell me about how you used them in your own campaigns. Until next time, I hope everyone is doing well, wherever and wherever you are.
-NPC Guy, a.k.a. LoremasterBernard
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LoremasterB
What happens when a tree branch falls onto a powerline?
Answer: Dramatic Annihilation
Only 17 seconds long - stick to the end.
Wtf is that sounddd
watch til the end pls omg
The sound is steam escaping the wood.
I have to imagine that this is something that magic might look like in real life.
